[Measure of Devotion 01.0] Measure of Devotion

by Caethes Faron

Kale bowed and left. At least now Eric knew that Kale wasn’t going to be used as a puppet.

  When Kale got back to the house, he climbed dutifully up to Jason’s room despite his strong desire to just crawl into bed. To make matters worse, Jason was already asleep. A part of Kale was tempted to go to bed and hope that Jason forgot about his orders to wake him. That, however, would be inviting disaster. Instead, he prepared for the worst and whispered “master” until Jason stirred.

  “Kale?” Jason’s sleep-thickened speech sounded confused.

  “Yes, Master. I just returned from Mr. Vanderhoff’s. He wanted me to tell you that he’ll be in touch tomorrow.”

  “Did you show him?” Jason seemed wide awake now.

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Did he punish you further?”

  “No, sir.”

  “Hmph.” Kale was surprised by the hurt he felt at Jason’s disappointment.

  “Sir, is there anything else you require tonight?”

  “No, that’s all. Go to bed.”

  Jason was already snoring again by the time Kale got to the door. He made his way to bed without talking to anyone. Charlie and Simon were already asleep, and Jacob wasn’t around. Climbing into bed, Kale hoped that Jason’s bitterness was gone by morning.

  Eleven

  Before calculus class, Joshua Sharpton came up to Jason in front of the library. It was still hard to believe that the senior who had so amazed him the day of student orientation by being a member of the Thistle Society was his friend.

  “Hey, Jason, I’m glad I caught you.”

  “I was just on my way to my last class. What’s going on?”

  “There’s a get together at the art museum this evening. Eric wanted me to invite you. Head over after your class lets out.”

  “Thanks, I’ll be there,” Jason said. Joshua patted him on the shoulder before heading in the opposite direction.

  At least now he would have a chance to make up for last night.

  The museum was full of celebrating students. The student art show had gone off well, and it was a great excuse for a party. Jason even noticed that his roommate Phineas was there. He would have gone over to say hello, but he hadn’t seen Eric yet.

  Scanning the room, he finally found him. Just like the night they had met, Eric was in the middle of a group of people who were hanging on to his every word. Jason made his way over, and as soon as he got close, Eric went quiet and everyone else followed suit. The whole group was watching him as he approached.

  When Jason reached Eric, he leaned in for a kiss, but Eric stopped him. With a hand on his shoulder, Eric pushed him an arm’s length away.

  “Jason, I think it’s time we part ways.”

  “What?” Jason couldn’t have heard that right. He hadn’t even had a chance to say hello.

  “I’ve been thinking about the way you savagely beat Kale last night for something that wasn’t even his fault. And then sending him to me to parade himself naked and show off your savagery? That’s a new low. It was humiliating, for me as well as your slave. I just can’t be with a man who can’t control himself.” Eric’s voice was loud enough to carry beyond their small group. The other partygoers looked on with interest, and their eyebrows rose at Eric’s description of Jason’s behavior. As much as Jason was embarrassed by what was happening, he was much more concerned about trying to hold on to the first man he had ever loved.

  “I made a mistake, Eric. Please give me another chance. I thought I was doing the right thing at the time. I can see now how I was wrong. Please don’t leave me. We’re good together.” He was desperate. This was his world, and Eric was taking it out from under him.

  “Good together? How? We have nothing in common; we come from completely different worlds. I took a chance on you, a country boy. I thought I could treat you like any other city man, but I see I was wrong. You country folk really are backward, and I just can’t abide it. I prefer to keep civilized company. Enjoy the rest of your evening, but I can’t stay here any longer with you.” Eric turned and left with the rest of the Thistle Society members. He was gone, leaving Jason’s life as quickly and dramatically as he had entered it.

  Jason was left standing in the middle of a group of people who had just seen him shamed. He wanted to disappear, to go into a corner and hide. This was too horrible to contemplate. Jason had been so sure that Eric loved him. He was sure he loved Eric. How could this happen? When two people were in love, couldn’t they make it work?

  Too depressed to face the people around him, Jason simply fled the party. Once outside, he realized it had started raining and he had no money for a cab. Why would he carry money when he was dating the richest man in Perdana who insisted on paying for everything? He wasn’t in a hurry to go home anyway, so he started walking aimlessly, letting the rain cover him as if it could hide him from the world. All he knew was that he was going in the general direction of home and would get there eventually.

  Twelve

  That morning, Kale didn’t get further than the kitchen before he had to explain what had happened. There was a stiffness to his gait from the whipping that Marge was unwilling to ignore. After she wheedled it out of him, she gave him an extra large breakfast that included bacon, so the embarrassment of having told was worth it. The story had to be repeated twice more, once for Charlie and again for Simon and Jacob. Charlie’s pity had been hard to take, but Simon and Jacob had merely nodded and changed the subject, as if it was a common enough occurrence.

  That night, only Charlie and Jacob were around. Simon was on campus with his master, and there was no telling when he’d be back. When it started raining, Charlie suggested they play cards, probably in an effort to cheer Kale up, though he didn’t need it. Kale was fine, but cards sounded like fun, and they were soon sitting around the table playing. They didn’t talk much; Jacob was his usual quiet self, and Charlie still seemed upset about what Jason had done.

  After a few hands, Simon came in and leaned over Jacob, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Mind if I join in?”

  “Next hand.” Jacob nodded to the empty chair.

  As soon as he was seated, Simon turned to Kale. “How’s Jason doing?”

  “I don’t know. Why?”

  “You mean he’s not home yet?”

  “No. Should he be?” Kale honestly didn’t keep track of Jason’s schedule much anymore.

  “You haven’t heard?”

  “Some of us are trying to play.” Jacob grumbled from behind his cards.

  Kale ignored him. “What?”

  “Eric broke up with him.”

  “He what?” It shouldn’t have been such a great surprise, but Kale had guessed that Eric would get a little more out of Jason before dumping him.

  “We just got back from a party, and Eric made a big spectacle of it, calling Jason out for what he did to you last night, practically calling it barbaric. Said he was wrong to take a chance on a country boy.”

  “That little bastard. He knew exactly what he was doing the entire time.” Kale threw down his hand. “Where’s my master now?”

  “I don’t know. He left right after Eric did. I thought he’d be home by now. Everyone was talking about him after he left. It was quite the scene. My master tried to come to Jason’s defense, but Eric’s story is a much more entertaining one. Phineas said it ruined the party, so we came home early.”

  “Did he leave with anyone?”

  “Not that I saw. I figured he’d grab a cab.”

  “No, he doesn’t carry money. Eric always pays for everything.” Kale started to stand. “He’s probably wandering around in this weather like a damn fool. I’ll have to go out and find him.”

  “What?” Charlie cried with an incredulous look on his face. He might be the best slave among them, but it was clear he thought Jason was getting what he deserved.

  “I can’t just let him stay out there. You know how dramatic he is, and now he has a broken heart. He won’t do anything logical for a while. The last thi
ng I need is him getting sick in this weather. It’s going to be bad enough dealing with him and his broken heart; I don’t want to be nursing him back to health at the same time.”

  “We were at the art museum, so head in that direction and take an umbrella.”

  “I will. Thanks for letting me know, Simon.”

  “No problem. Don’t make yourself sick looking for him. He may come back while you’re out, or he could have run into a friend and be anywhere by now.”

  “If I don’t find him soon, I’ll come back and check in here.”

  Kale set off into the rain headed toward the museum. It didn’t take terribly long to get there, and he hadn’t seen a trace of Jason, not that he thought he would. Even walking the slow walk of a heartbroken man, there was no way the trip could last as long as he had been gone. No, Jason could be anywhere, wandering aimlessly no doubt. If Kale knew him, Jason’d be wallowing in self-pity, caught up in the dramatic heartbreak he was experiencing. If there was one thing he could say for Jason, it was that the man never did things halfheartedly. If he was going to be depressed, he was going to go all the way. Kale headed back in the general direction of home, searching the side streets and alleys. Still no sign of Jason.

  As Kale continued his search in the pouring rain, he began to wonder why exactly he was searching. It wasn’t as if it was part of his duties. He hadn’t been ordered to come out here and get Jason, and there was no way Jason would even know that Kale was aware he was missing. So why wasn’t he at home right now, warm and dry? Because someone had to take care of Jason. He certainly wasn’t going to take care of himself. And like he told Charlie, if Jason got sick, Kale would end up having to deal with it, which would be more of a pain than walking around in the rain.

  After Kale had covered all the streets he could think of, he decided to try the park. Passing one of the fountains, he spotted movement by the tree line. It had to be Jason. No one else was crazy enough to be out in this weather. Kale rushed over to him and held the umbrella over his head.

  “Master, let’s get you home.”

  Jason looked around, startled by the sudden halt to the rain pouring down on his head. At Kale’s voice, he tilted his confused face up to Kale’s. “What?”

  “We need to get you home. This is no weather to be out in.”

  “He broke up with me, Kale.” The lost, sad sound of Jason’s voice stirred pity in Kale.

  “Yes, I know, sir. Mr. Thalomew was there with Simon and Simon told me.”

  “I don’t want to go home. I’m sure I’m a laughingstock by now.”

  “No, sir. In fact, Simon said his master came to your defense. Anyone who knows you won’t believe anything that Mr. Vanderhoff said.”

  Jason looked into Kale’s eyes. “But it’s true. All of it. Everything he said was true. I shouldn’t have to remind you of that.”

  “No, but you were doing what you thought was right. There’s no shame in that. Now come on, and let’s go home. I’ll draw you a warm bath, and then you can get in bed.”

  “Are you handling me, Kale?”

  Jason’s voice made Kale think that he probably wouldn’t mind being handled for a while. “No, sir, but I will if we don’t get a move on; this rain is soaking me to the bone.”

  It was true. Since he had moved the umbrella to cover Jason, he was completely exposed to the storm. Jason looked at Kale, as if seeing the rest of him for the first time, and started toward home. They walked in silence, Kale shielding Jason from the storm until they got to the house.

  As soon as they were in Jason’s room, Kale ran a hot bath. When it was ready, Kale found Jason sitting on the sofa, staring blankly ahead.

  “Master, your bath is ready.”

  “Huh?”

  “Your bath, sir.”

  There was still no response. Jason wasn’t going to make this easy. Kale lifted him up and supported him to the bathroom. Once there, he peeled off Jason’s wet clothes and helped him into the bath. Kale washed Jason’s hair and quickly went over his body. The vacant expression never left Jason’s face. When Kale was finished, he got up for a towel. When he turned back to the tub, he looked down at Jason.

  Sitting in the bath was not the man who had humiliated him. Here was just a boy; a scared and lonely boy who searched desperately for approval. He looked so vulnerable. Jason had really loved Eric. It was foolish for him to have so freely given his love to a man who hadn’t earned it, but it was endearing that he loved so completely. It should be admired, not scorned. Even now, Jason was too innocent to suspect that Eric had been lying to him this entire time because Jason would never do something like that.

  Kale snapped out of his thoughts and helped Jason out of the tub and dried him. Dressing Jason was another ordeal, and Kale was tempted to just put him to bed naked. The only thing that stopped him was the thought that Jason might be ashamed in the morning, and that would put him in a bad mood.

  When Kale tucked Jason into bed and looked down at his master’s listless expression, he realized he felt anger. Not anger at Jason, but at Eric. How could he do this to someone like Jason? Kale had his problems with his master, but he acknowledged that the problems were largely due to the fact that he was a slave. Even though it wasn’t right, that meant that he wasn’t really a person to Jason, at least not as much of a person as a free man. But Jason had never done anything to deserve this kind of treatment. He was just a boy trying to fit in.

  Kale had been standing at Jason’s bedside absorbed in his thoughts, so it was a surprise when Jason focused on him.

  “Just go to bed, Kale.” Jason rolled over, and Kale could swear he saw his shoulders start to shake.

  Thirteen

  All morning as Kale worked, Jason scowled at him from under his lowered brow. The anger was palpable, and it baffled Kale. He could understand Jason being in a bad mood, needing to nurse the wounds from his first breakup, but why did he direct so much anger at Kale? Kale decided to let it roll off him, and put even more effort into helping Jason and making his morning as comfortable as possible. Still, Jason silently fumed, and the situation just seemed to be getting worse. What could Kale do? And then it happened.

  After breakfast, Jason glared at Kale from the table. “Just say it already.”

  Kale was caught off guard. Jason hadn’t said anything to him all morning, and the venom in his voice was a good indication of why. “What do you mean?”

  “Quit the act, Kale. Go ahead and say you told me so, that I shouldn’t have gotten involved with Eric. If I had just listened to you, this would have never happened.”

  “That wasn’t what I was thinking at all, Master. I don’t think you’re to blame for what happened last night.”

  “Stop being so damned nice to me, Kale. I humiliated you. I punished you for something that was in no way your fault. You should hate me. I want you to hate me. Go ahead and tell me how much you hate me.”

  “I don’t hate you, sir.” Kale was only a little surprised to find that the words were true.

  “Stop lying.” By now, Jason had stood up and was just a few feet in front of Kale. “I know you hate me; you must hate me. Anyone in your position would.”

  “But I don’t. And I doubt anyone else would either, sir.”

  “But you must at least want revenge. Hit me. Go on and hit me. I’ve hit you enough.”

  Kale tried to hold back a chuckle. This was clearly very serious to Jason. “I’m not going to hit you, sir.”

  “Why not? It’s only fair.”

  “It’s not fair.”

  “Why not?”

  “For starters, I’m bigger than you. And then there’s also the fact that you’re free and I’m a slave. You had the right to hit me. I do not have the right to hit you.”

  “I’m giving you the right. There will be no retribution.”

  Kale didn’t believe that for a minute. Jason might believe it right now, but after it was over, his hurt pride would force him to humble Kale once again. “I don’t want
to hit you.”

  “Then I’m making it an order. Hit me. Make it hurt.” Jason’s voice faltered on the last words, and Kale got a glimpse at the pain beneath the surface. Jason was already wounded, and he wanted Kale to hurt him as badly on the outside as he hurt on the inside.

  “Sir, there is nothing you can do that will make me hit you.”

  “Oh yeah?” Jason took a swing at Kale and punched him squarely in the face. It wasn’t a great punch, but Kale didn’t expect it, and it threw him back a few steps. His fists automatically clenched, and he forced them to relax. That’s exactly what Jason wanted, and Kale was not going to give it to him. He certainly wasn’t going to indulge a spoiled child who was acting out to get what he wanted.

  “Hit me all you want, sir, but I’m not going to hit back.”

  Something about those words opened the flood gates. Jason pummeled Kale’s chest and ribs like a little kid. Through it all, Kale just stood and took it, trying to look utterly unfazed, as if he were taking Jason’s dinner order. Parts of his face were starting to swell, but it would look worse than it was. Bruises would litter his chest by tonight, and there would be stiffness later.

  With one swing of his fist, Kale could put an end to this, but he didn’t. This wasn’t about him. It was about Jason working through his own issues. Kale was just an innocent bystander, and while it wasn’t right, this was all that Kale could do for Jason right now. After seeing him last night, he wasn’t about to leave him alone. Perhaps, if Jason got this all out of his system, life could return to normal and they could move past this awful time.

  The hits weakened until Kale thought he heard Jason’s breathing hitch as if he were about to cry. At that point, Jason stopped and hid his face from Kale. He walked over to the far side of the bed and sat down. Without looking up, he said, “You’re dismissed. And don’t bother coming back here later; I don’t want to see you again for the rest of the day.”

  Taking that to mean Jason didn’t want to hear him either, Kale silently left.