[Measure of Devotion 01.0] Measure of Devotion

by Caethes Faron

  The first place he stopped was the kitchen. He really didn’t want to face Marge, but he knew he needed some ice, otherwise he’d regret it later.

  “Dear gods, what’s he done to you?” Marge put her hands on her hips.

  “It’s nothing.”

  “Don’t tell me it’s nothing, I’ve got eyes. What on earth could have possessed him to do such a thing?”

  “Don’t worry about it. He’s just a heart-sick pup blowing off some steam.”

  “Well here, let me put some ice on that face of yours.” Marge wrapped some ice in a towel and gently pressed it to a bruise. Kale winced at the cold pressure on his cheek. “Should I send for a doctor?”

  Kale laughed. “Yes, I’m sure he would love footing a medical bill. No, I’ll be fine. I have the rest of the day off, and I’ll rest. I’ll be right as rain tomorrow.”

  “Well, go get yourself in bed. I’ll bring your meals to you. I don’t want to see or hear of you being out and about, you hear?”

  “Yes, Marge. I’ll be good, I swear.”

  When Kale entered his room, he let his exhaustion take over. It was hard to believe he had only been up for a few hours. He knew he should really stay awake to hold the ice to his face, but he couldn’t fight off sleep any longer. Tossing the bag of ice aside, he collapsed into bed and was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

  He woke to the sight of a not very happy Marge looking down at him. “What do you want?” Kale tried to roll over, but the ache that assaulted him convinced him to stay still.

  “I brought your lunch. You were supposed to keep the ice on that pretty face of yours.”

  Kale began to laugh, but stopped when his chest protested. “Pretty, my foot. I’ve never been pretty a day in my life.”

  “That may be true, but still, you wasted that ice, and now it’s melted all over the floor.”

  “Sorry about that, Marge, I’ll clean it up. I was just so tired for some reason.”

  “Gee, I wonder why. I hear getting the stuffing beat out of you can be tiring. And don’t be silly, you’re not getting out of that bed until tomorrow morning. Besides, I’ve already cleaned it up.”

  “I knew you loved me.” Kale beamed at her.

  “More’s the curse on me. Now stay awake long enough to eat your lunch. I’ll be back down for it later. If you don’t finish it, I’ll smack you around a little myself.”

  “You’re getting cranky in your old age, Marge. It’s not good. I’ll finish my lunch, though.”

  Marge smiled and shook her head at him before she left.

  Kale was surprised at what a struggle it was to eat. He really did just want to go back to sleep, and the food wasn’t sitting well in his stomach. Now that he was up, though, he found that he couldn’t get comfortable again.

  Figuring it might help work out some stiffness, he walked around the room. It didn’t really help, but at least it was a change. A short while later, he heard someone outside and made a dash for the bed. He was just getting situated when the door opened to reveal Charlie.

  Kale caught his eye and saw Charlie wince. He knew he looked bad, but it hurt to have it confirmed by Charlie.

  “Marge sent me to collect your lunch dishes. What happened?”

  “I didn’t finish breakfast, so she walloped me,” Kale deadpanned.

  Charlie cracked a smile that didn’t quite morph into a laugh. He sat down on the edge of Kale’s bed. “You want to talk about it?”

  “Not really.”

  “Why would he hurt you like this?”

  “So when you asked if I wanted to talk, it was purely curiosity?”

  “You need to talk about it, whether you want to or not.”

  “What’s there to talk about? That prick Eric broke up with him, and he’s been a pot of emotions since then. He asked me to hit him, and I wouldn’t, so he did this instead.”

  “Bet you’re wishing you had clocked him now.”

  “Well, I didn’t know he would do quite this much.” They both chortled. When they sobered, Kale continued. “I knew that he needed to get it out of his system. Things would only have gotten worse. Now that he’s let it out, we can move on.”

  “I still can’t believe you didn’t hit him. After all he’s put you through, all the times he’s humiliated you, how could you not hit him just once? I would have done it.”

  “No, you wouldn’t have, Charlie, not if you had seen him. Last night when I found him, he was so dejected. I felt like I saw him for the first time. He was like this lost little puppy, and all you want to do is take him in and help him, you know?”

  “I know about wanting to help a stray dog. Helping a master that has done nothing but demean you? No, I don’t understand that.”

  Kale grinned and shook his head. “You, the chronically good slave? Is there anything you wouldn’t do for your master?”

  Charlie smiled. “Not really, not that I can think of.”

  “But he’s punished you before, right?”

  “Well, yeah.”

  “It’s the same thing. My master just doesn’t know what he’s doing. Hopefully, after this whole fiasco, he’ll stop trying so hard and just be himself.”

  “And you’re really sure that ‘himself’ is a good guy?”

  Kale considered. “No, I’m not sure, but I have a hunch. The kid has never fit in anywhere. He’s never even really lived. Do you know, I think this is the first fight he’s ever gotten into?”

  “Even more reason for you to have put him in his place.”

  “He’s the master. He is in his place. You know that. Besides, now he’ll either feel so guilty that he doesn’t want to see me, or my presence will anger him so much that he doesn’t want me around. Either way, it looks like things are going to be pretty easy from here on out.”

  Fourteen

  The next morning, Jason woke after a fitful night. It was earlier than usual. Jason was nervous at the thought of seeing Kale, and knowing his slave would be the one to wake him made it hard to sleep. Jason knew what he had done yesterday was inexcusable. How had he turned into someone who hit a man who couldn’t even defend himself? That wasn’t the person Jason wanted to be.

  But wasn’t that what he’d been doing to Kale all along? All those times he punished his slave, he was beating someone who couldn’t hit back. Of course, at the time Jason thought Kale deserved the discipline, and that it was his place to do it. But now, in light of what had happened, he realized that there had never been any excuse for the way he treated Kale. He thought he had been acting the part of the gentleman, but after his experiences with Eric, he realized that was not the type of man he wanted to be. Jason shook his head at himself as he lay in bed. He had been wrong about so many things.

  With a start, Jason realized it was just a matter of time until Kale came up, and he felt foolish waiting in bed for him. He got up, put on a robe, and sat down at his desk as if he were going to study. What he really did was keep torturing himself with thoughts of what he had done. Soon, he wondered if Kale was coming at all. Jason pushed that thought out of his head. Of course Kale would come, he always did, and he wouldn’t let this stand in his way, if for no other reason than his pride.

  Jason laughed bitterly. His slave had more pride than he did. Except Kale’s pride was not the kind that was offensive; it was simply the quiet dignity of a man comfortable with himself. Jason had thought he would acquire that same pride once he got away from his father’s house and into a world that was more sophisticated. It was only now that Jason realized there was a difference between pride and vanity.

  At that moment, Kale quietly opened the door, clearly thinking Jason was still asleep. After he closed the door behind him, he turned to find Jason sitting at his desk, and surprise showed on his face. “I didn’t know you were awake, Master. Am I late?”

  “No, you’re not late, Kale. I had trouble sleeping and decided to get an early start on the day.”

  “I’ll just go get your breakfast then, sir
.” Kale bowed and left.

  Jason meant to apologize, but the sight of Kale had so stunned him that he hadn’t been able to find the words. There was heavy bruising on Kale’s face and some swelling around his left eye. The way he moved belied the stiffness he must be feeling in his abdomen. Yet, he held himself with a certain dignity. None of the men Jason had met in Perdana, not one of them, had Kale’s pride.

  When Kale came back with the breakfast tray, Jason hurried to speak before he lost his nerve. “I’m sorry for what happened yesterday, Kale. It was uncalled for and inappropriate. I assure you it won’t happen again.”

  Kale’s eyes widened a little, and then he shrugged. “You were upset about Mr. Vanderhoff.”

  That was true, but all Kale’s words did was remind Jason that he was oddly unconcerned about what happened between himself and Eric yesterday. He was much more concerned with what had transpired with Kale. Jason decided not to stop and consider why that was.

  “That’s no excuse for what I did. You were upset about me hitting you, but you controlled yourself and didn’t even take a swing at me. You would have been more than justified.”

  “I’m a slave.”

  “It was more than that. You’re also taller than me, and no doubt you have a good fifty pounds on me, probably more. You didn’t hit me because you don’t hit people who can’t defend themselves. Unlike me.”

  Kale did nothing. He didn’t react at all to Jason’s words, and that exasperated Jason even more. “What does it take to rile you up, Kale? I’ve been nothing but abusive to you since the day I got you. I give you a chance to hit me and you don’t take it, and now I apologize, and you act like I’ve done nothing wrong. Just tell me what a horrible person I am. I know it’s true. I know how you must think of me. Yell at me. Get it off your chest.”

  “If I had hit you, I would have been punished for it later, and if I give you what you want now, I’ll be punished for that later, too.”

  The hurt he felt at Kale’s words surprised Jason. He had been harsh with Kale, but he had never purposely trapped him, had he? Did Kale really think that Jason would do that? The answer was obvious: of course he did. Isn’t that what Jason had been doing all along, setting impossible standards to trap Kale and give him an excuse to punish him?

  “I deserve that, and I know you must think it’s true, but it’s not. I’ve behaved horribly from the beginning, and I really am sorry. That’s not the person I want to be.”

  Kale just stood and looked back at Jason, as irritatingly calm as ever. Jason couldn’t take the silence. “Well?”

  “What type of person do you want to be?”

  The words were spoken softly and were so simple they left Jason momentarily speechless. Jason met Kale’s eyes and answered the question as truthfully as he could. “I don’t know, Kale.” Then Jason stood there as if he was expecting Kale to tell him what he should want, what he should be.

  Instead, Kale gave a little nod, as if Jason’s answer satisfied him, and said, “Your breakfast is ready, sir.”

  Jason was disappointed that Kale didn’t have more to say, but he didn’t really know what he had expected. “Go ahead, and take the rest of the day off, Kale. Get healed up.”

  “I’m fine, sir.”

  “Well, I’m not. I need to be alone right now. I think I can manage a day on my own.”

  “Of course, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you before I leave?”

  “No.” And then as an afterthought, “Thank you.”

  Kale left, and Jason breathed deep, relieved. He knew it was cowardly, but he just couldn’t stand to see Kale, knowing he was to blame for the bruises on his face. Until yesterday, he hadn’t thought he was even capable of causing that kind of harm. Now that he had, he couldn’t bear to see it.

  Jason spent much of the day in the park thinking. It had felt too awkward being in the house knowing that Kale was somewhere downstairs, bruised. After a day lost in thought, he was sure of one thing. Somehow, it was vitally important that he get Kale to like him. It was as if that was the standard by which he would measure himself. He wanted to be the type of man Kale could like.

  When he came back from the park, he sought out Kale in the garden. When Kale saw Jason walk outside, he rose from where he was seated on the grass.

  “No, no, Kale. Go ahead, and sit back down. I want to talk with you.” Jason walked to Kale and sat next to him.

  The two sat in silence, staring straight ahead, for several minutes. Jason tried to gather his thoughts. There was no way for him to ease into it.

  “Do you think I’m a bad person, Kale?” Out of the corner of his eye, Jason saw a flicker of surprise on Kale’s face.

  “No, sir, I don’t. I think you’re a good person who lost his way.”

  “Will I ever be able to earn your trust and respect?”

  “I don’t know why you would want those things, but yes, you could. I’ll never forget the past, but a man can change.”

  “For someone who’s never had an education, you sure are wise.”

  Kale laughed. “Nah, I’m just older than you.”

  Jason snorted. “By what, a day? How old are you anyway?”

  “I’m twenty-one.”

  “Hardly the age of sages, is it?”

  Kale smiled, and Jason was pleased that he had caused it. “No, but when you’re a slave, you learn to learn quickly.”

  The thought of how different Kale’s life had been from his own sobered Jason. “I’m not completely stupid. I know your life has been hard. I don’t pretend to understand it. I’ve just never been much good with people, and I’ve never really had a slave before. The slaves at my father’s ranch all pretty much stayed out of the way.”

  “What about the esteemed Demetri?”

  Jason snorted. “All I knew about Demetri was that he had served in high society. I wanted his experience. I didn’t know him well enough to want him.”

  “And you want me?”

  Jason studied Kale and thought about the question. “Yes. You’ve been good for me. For starters, anyone else would have clobbered me as soon as I threw the first punch.”

  “Nah, no slave your father would have bought you would have done that.”

  “Perhaps. But they would have been stilled by fear; you weren’t.”

  Kale quirked an eyebrow. “What makes you say that?”

  “You don’t get scared. I’m not sure why, but you don’t. Or at least I’ve never seen it.”

  “I guess when you’ve got nothing to lose, there’s nothing to fear.”

  “If you had punched me, I could have had you killed. But it wasn’t fear of consequences that stopped you.”

  “You’re right. The reason I didn’t hit you is because I wanted to be babied by Marge. I got a couple days off, Marge and Charlie waiting on me hand and foot. Not a bad tradeoff for a few bruises.” There was Kale’s smile again. Jason had never seen him smile before today, and it was a novel thing. It was strange to see his slave’s personality.

  “Well, it wasn’t a good tradeoff for me. Marge has been going out of her way to give me the cold eye. She’s been fixing all the meals I hate.”

  “I’ll straighten that out.”

  “No, it’s fine. It’s the least of what I deserve for what I did to you. Is there a way that I could show her I’m sorry, though?”

  “Tulips. Marge loves tulips. Bring her a bouquet of them and tell her you’re loving her meals. Let her know that even liver from her kitchen tastes good. Flash her a smile, and you’ll be good as new. Probably even get a special dessert out of it.”

  “Thanks. You’re good with people, Kale. I appreciate that. I promise you, I won’t forget how valuable you are again. I’m going to focus on my studies from now on, no more dating or social maneuvering. I’ve dreamt my whole life of coming to this university, and I’m going to make the most of it. I promise there will be a lot less drama in your life from now on.” For a while longer, they sat in comfortable silence. Then
Jason turned to Kale. “I’ve got to go inside. I need to leave for a lecture soon.”

  Kale stood up, offered his hand to Jason to help him up, and together they walked back into the house.

  Fifteen

  The next week was a mixed blessing for Kale. On one hand, Jason was nicer than he’d ever been. Words like “please” and “thank you” became permanent parts of his vocabulary. On the other hand, since Jason swore off all things frivolous, he was spending an awful lot of time at home studying, and that meant a lot of time with Kale. It wasn’t too bad since he was pleasant to be around, but it was boring. There was only so much cleaning that could be done in Jason’s small apartment. Once that was finished, Kale had to spend his time sitting around staring at nothing.

  It could be worse. He could be kneeling the entire time. Driven, no doubt, by his guilt over his treatment of Kale, Jason had told him he could sit on the furniture, which was nice, but didn’t exactly make time fly by. As the days wore on, Kale found himself debating whether or not he should ask Jason if he could be excused, or if there was something he could do. At this point, he would take on extra chores just to be busy. But things were too precarious. Kale was bored, but he wasn’t miserable. That could change if he talked to Jason and things didn’t go well. Jason was being nice, and Kale liked to think that the change was here for good, but he wasn’t that naïve. One wrong word from him, and he risked ruining his good fortune.

  As luck would have it, Jason took the matter entirely out of his hands.

  “I think you should learn to read.” Kale was sitting on the overstuffed chair in Jason’s room, passing the time by counting, for the seemingly thousandth time, the books on Jason’s bookshelf. Jason’s voice startled him, and Kale thought he didn’t quite catch what was said.

  “Excuse me, sir?”

  “I said, I think you should learn to read.”

  “If you think it’s necessary, Master.”

  “I do. I don’t doubt that you could continue to serve me well without being able to read, but you’re too intelligent not to learn. It would give you another way to pass the time while I study.”