by Avery Wilde
“Dream on,” I said as I navigated my old car through the crowded streets of the town. “Tonight we’re going to meet some real women.”
“I prefer those angels,” Connor said. He had a dreamy expression on his face. “Mate, you think you’re gonna get famous and marry some model? What about an actress?”
I shook my head and frowned. “I’m not tying myself down,” I said with a smirk. “No matter how sexy some bird’s arse is.”
Connor stretched. He stuck his hand out the window and played with the breeze. “You’re a damn fool, Walsh,” he said, cuffing me on the head with his free hand. “A damn fool.”
By the time we got to the party, it was in full swing, and Connor grabbed two beers and tossed me one. He was already moving and shaking in time to the music, and by the time I worked my way onto the dance floor, he was surrounded by girls. Connor’s grey eyes and brown hair gave him easy charm, but he’d always had to work at talking to girls. He’d always been the shyest friend I had, and I was really surprised to see him throwing beer back and flirting with three girls at once.
The hostess of the party, Amy, was someone I’d gone on a couple of dates with in the past. She’d been ignoring me, and I went to go find her. We wound up bickering in the kitchen and I knocked back a couple of shots of tequila to feel better, and by the time I worked my way back to the living room, Connor was dancing in between two girls, clad only in bikinis. When he saw me, he raised his bottle and knocked it drunkenly against mine.
“Mate!” Connor yelled in a loud voice. “This is a kickin’ party! Do you know these girls?” He gave the girls he was dancing with a big smile and turned to me. Obediently, they each put an arm around Connor and smiled up at me. “My mate, Jay, is gonna play football for Manchester United,” Connor continued, his voice slurring. “You wanna shake his hand before he gets famous?”
One of the girls, a blonde, peeled herself away from Connor’s side and came up to me. She was cute and innocent-looking, in the way that I liked, but I could tell by the way her eyes had glowed at the words ‘Manchester United’ that she wasn’t someone I really wanted to get involved with.
“Hi,” she said. “Wanna dance?”
“Go on, mate!” Connor said. “Come on, dance!”
The girl led me back on the floor and wrapped her light body around mine. I was pulsing with alcohol and arousal by the time the song was over, and I didn’t even notice that Connor had disappeared with the other girl until the blonde was tugging at my sleeve.
She looked up at me and frowned. “Hey, where’s Mia? Your mate was really drunk! If he’s trying to force her to do anything...” She trailed off and stamped her foot. “I don’t want her to get taken advantage of!”
“We’ll find your friend,” I promised the blonde. She glared at me and I resisted the urge to pat her on the head. “Come with me.”
The party was thumping, loud, and full of people, but I made my way to the back of the house. There was a long line behind a closed door.
“Hey.” I looked at one of the girls in line. “Are you waiting to piss?”
“Yeah,” she said with a sigh. “It’s a bit shit, we’ve been waiting forever!”
“I’ll check and see what the hold-up is,” I promised, a sinking feeling already working its way into my belly. As I pounded on the door, Connor’s familiar voice came back at me.
“I’ll be out in a second!” Connor snapped. “Hold your horses, mate!”
“I’m coming in,” I said through gritted teeth. “You’re taking forever, mate, and pissing everyone off.”
When I pushed open the door, I rolled my eyes. The girl Connor had been dancing with was nude from the waist down, lying in the tub, and Connor was bent over her body, snorting white powder that had been laid out in lines over her flesh.
“Connor, let’s go,” I said, dragging him to his feet. “I’m not pulling your arse out of jail in the morning.”
Now, thinking back to that party, I felt grim. I hoped Connor was going to okay, that it wasn’t too late to save him from whatever shit he’d gotten himself involved with.
I guess only time would tell.
Chapter Fourteen
Kate
“Oh my god,” I gasped, putting a hand to my mouth as I stared at Josh. “What are you doing here?”
Before he could reply, Lizzy jumped to her feet. She gave me a shifty look but didn’t say anything. “I guess I’ll leave you two alone to talk,” she said as she slipped past me and closed the door.
My mouth was still hanging open. It was really Josh, in the flesh. Josh Manning. The same man whose dark grey eyes and dark brown hair used to make my heart race. But now he just looked like a delinquent. He was too pale and always dressed in dark clothes. Today, he was wearing a leather jacket over a ripped up black t-shirt and dark jeans, and I knew the shirt must be for show; I recognized his shoes as a brand that sold for over four figures. It was a carefully constructed look that was supposed to say ‘I don’t care’ but really, all it said to me was ‘I have more money than sense’.
“Hey. You look amazing,” Josh said.
He stood up and reached out for me. I offered my hand instead and we shook awkwardly. Ever since I’d decided to break it off with him, my mind had been filled with excuses as to why we couldn’t get back together, but now, he looked cocky and self-aware.
“Thanks,” I said shortly, lowering myself down into a chair. “Why are you here?”
Josh laughed. “Kate, your social graces aren’t much improved by vacationing,” he said with a wry smirk. “Aren’t you glad to see me?”
I didn’t reply.
“Come on, it was a joke,” Josh said, holding his palms up. “I came a long way to see you, and I have news from your producer. Don’t you care about that?”
“Fine,” I said, letting out a long breath. “But I really don’t have that long. I was hoping to spend the day shopping with Lizzy.”
Josh chuckled again. “It’s not even eight in the morning yet,” he said casually, smirking at me until a blush rose in my cheeks. “Lizzy’s only just woken up, and I can’t think of where you have to be this early. And I thought you hated mornings?”
I rolled my eyes. “Well, this one isn’t looking so good,” I mumbled. “But shows how much you know. I’ve changed since you last saw me.”
“I can tell,” Josh said in a joking tone. When I didn’t laugh along with him, the laughter in his eyes faded.
“So, what’s up?” I leaned back with my legs crossed at the ankle and put my hands in my lap. It was the exact same pose that I used on the set of Keeping Current With Kate. I hoped Josh would notice, or at least take my professionalism as a cue to return the behavior.
“I really care about you, Kate,” Josh said. “And maybe it took you leaving for that to sink in, but it really hit me. I want to be with you.” He looked at me, his dark eyes pleading. I felt a wave of guilt go through my body, quickly replaced with irritation. “I mean it, Kate.”
I shook my head. “So what’s the news from my producer?”
Josh ignored my question. “And I can’t stop thinking about you, and why we belong together. I know I was pushing you into something you weren’t ready for, and I want to apologize for that.”
I relaxed. “So you’re here to tell me that you know you were wrong?”
He shook his head and gave me a proud smile. “No,” he said. “I’m here to tell you that I’m willing to be patient. That I’m willing to wait for you, to do things on your terms.”
I frowned. “But Josh, we broke up, and your behavior made me lose any interest I ever had in you,” I said plainly. “I don’t know what else to say to you. I’m sorry, I know it sounds harsh, but I’m just being honest with you.”
“I can’t hold back with you!” Josh’s voice grew in pitch and he stood up from the couch. When I didn’t reply, he started pacing back and forth in Lizzy’s narrow living room. “I can’t live without you, Kate. I need you!”
/> I swallowed. “Josh, this is going to be uncomfortable, but I need you to understand how I feel.” At the mention of my feelings, Josh perked up. “Despite what you think of me, the problem was that I didn’t feel the same way about you.”
Josh perked up again and I blushed. “I mean, I don’t feel the same way about you. That hasn’t changed,” I continued.
“Kate, you’re not sounding like yourself,” he replied. “Maybe it’s time to give this vacation a rest and come home. You’ve been gone for over two weeks, you know that, right?”
I shook my head. “Yes,” I said, feeling more frustrated by the second. “But I’ve met someone here, who I really do like.”
Josh laughed. “Oh, him? The soccer player?”
I narrowed my eyes. “What’s so funny?”
He nodded, a smile easing its way onto his face. “I saw the article,” he said. He stretched and put his hands behind his head. “I know all about him.”
I frowned. “So what are you doing here if you knew I was with someone else? Aside from giving me news from the producers, that is.”
He laughed again. “Come on, Kate. Do you really think the biggest playboy in Manchester would wanna settle down with someone he’s only known for a couple of weeks?” He raised his eyebrows at me, like it was the most ludicrous possibility in the world. “I mean, you’re smarter than that.”
I looked away. I wasn’t sure what I thought was going on between me and Jay, but Josh was making me uncomfortable. “I don’t think you know what you’re talking about,” I said in a stiff voice. “I know Jay better than that.”
Josh pulled an envelope out of a backpack on the floor that I recognized as his. “Look at these,” he said, smirking. “Then tell me what you think.”
I didn’t want to believe anything bad about Jay, but my heart started to sink before Josh could even show me what was in the envelope. I pushed his hand away.
“I don’t want to see,” I said, shaking my head. “It’s probably some tabloid bullshit. You know his ex-girlfriend is a celebrity gossip columnist, right? And she has a real vendetta against him.”
Josh chuckled. “Well, no, I didn’t, but take a look at these, Kate. Your man is with another woman right now. Like literally as we speak.”
I winced as he emphasized the words ‘right now’, and hauling myself off the couch, I strolled into the kitchen and grabbed a pastry from the bag. I didn’t want to think about Jay doing anything that would upset me, and I knew Josh was just trying to rile me up.
“Come on, Kate,” Josh pleaded. He followed behind me, clutching the envelope and trying to hand it to me. Every time I shook my head, he wheedled further.
“Josh, leave me alone,” I said through a mouthful of croissant. “Please.”
“I’m not leaving until you look at these,” Josh replied in a firm voice. “It’s for your own good, Kate.”
Something about his voice made me stop eating and lower the rest of the croissant to the counter. “Fine,” I snapped. “Show me.”
Josh eased some photographs out of the envelope. My heart started to thud in my chest and the last bite of pastry in my mouth turned to ash as Josh flipped them over. There, in bright color, was Jay. He was sitting at a café with an unknown woman. She actually resembled me a little bit; she was a curvy brunette with delicate features. But that was where the similarities ended. In the photo, Jay was leaning over the table and kissing her. Her hands were tangled in his hair, and I could see the small Manchester United logo on the back of his jacket—the same jacket he’d been wearing when he left this morning. Untouched cups of coffee sat between them and the girl’s skirt was so short I could see the pink crotch of her panties, just waiting for Jay to tear them off.
I felt sick. “I don’t want to look at any more of these,” I said, abruptly pushing the photos back towards Josh. He caught my hand by the wrist and slipped another photo into my unwilling fingers.
“Kate, the timestamp of these is pretty recent,” he said slowly. “I mean, they were practically only just taken.”
He pointed to the right-hand corner of the photo where I unmistakably read today’s date and a time that showed the pictures were taken about an hour and a half ago. My stomach churned and knotted, and Josh looked at me again. “Are you sure you really know this guy, Kate? He ran out on you for some cheap tart.”
I ignored the question for the time being. “Where did you get these pictures?”
“A friend of mine lives here. He works in the media industry too. Anyway, I called him before I came here to Lizzy’s place to find you, and we caught up for an early breakfast and coffee. He asked why I was here, and I mentioned your name, and he recognized it and connected it with Jay Walsh, because of that article the other day.”
“And?”
“And he’d just received a bunch of pictures from a paparazzi friend of his. He wasn’t going to run them—pictures of Walsh having coffee with some woman aren’t exactly stellar news—so he gave them to me to show to you.”
“And why would he do that?” I asked, my teeth set on edge.
Josh sighed. “Because when I mentioned you, I told him the main reason why I was here—to come and see if there was still a chance for us. And like I said, my friend knew you’d been seeing Jay…so I guess he thought the photos might change your mind about him. I know it was selfish, using the pictures to help get you on my good side, but I do care about you, Kate. And this Walsh guy is just an ass.”
A torrent of thoughts rushed through my mind as I mulled everything over. Jay didn’t tell you where he was going this morning, remember? What if he had another date? What if he has another fling who lives in another country and she’s just over here visiting? What if he’s really not set on giving up his old ways after all? You’re stupid for believing him, Kate. You never should have fallen for that garbage.
I blinked, not wanting to cry in front of Josh. I didn’t know why I was so upset. After all, despite spending most of the past two weeks together, Jay and I had yet to talk about our future, or if there even was a future for us in the cards. I shuddered.
“Not so eager to kick me out now, are you?” Josh said softly, raising an eyebrow at me.
“This doesn’t change anything,” I said slowly. “I mean, they could be faked, right?” Lowering the photographs to the table, I scrutinized them. They were grainy, but unmistakable. It was definitely Jay, and whether or not he knew he was being watched, he was definitely putting on a show.
Josh shook his head. “My friend’s paparazzi sources are legit. And if you’re thinking that I faked them, well come on…would I lie to you?”
Yes, I thought to myself. But as much as I couldn’t stand being around Josh, I knew that he’d come a long way to try and be with me. After all, hopping on a plane wasn’t exactly easy these days. Tickets were absurdly expensive, and even the most luxurious of seats started to feel cramped over flying across the Atlantic. And he had tried to warn me about Jay….
I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat.
“This doesn’t mean anything,” I said slowly. “And we are not getting back together. But I want to thank you for coming here and trying to warn me.”
I threw the rest of my croissant away, washed my hands, and walked back into the living room. My head was starting to ache and I felt tired, and like I needed a long bath and then a nap even though I’d only just woken up a couple of hours ago.
Josh smiled. “I knew you’d feel that way,” he said, seemingly oblivious of my first two statements. “Well, anyway, I know you said you want to spend the day with Lizzy, so I’ll take off, but how about dinner later? After all, I’m the new kid in town. Wanna give your sister a break and take me out?”
He winked at me with his deep grey eyes and I looked away. Josh had an insane amount of charm—it was what had first attracted me his way—but it wasn’t going to work. Not this time. I wasn’t going to let Josh Manning get under my skin for another second.
O
n the other hand, I did need a distraction from the awful photos I’d just seen, so I finally nodded.
“Only if you swear that you know this won’t lead to anything,” I said in a warning tone, trying to think of the least romantic restaurant possible. “And you know this isn’t a date. I’ll simply be showing you a good place to eat because you’ve flown all this way, and I’m grateful for your warning about Jay Walsh. And we also need to discuss whatever it is the showrunners asked you to tell me.”
“Fine,” Josh replied. He grinned at me and I felt a touch of….something. Not desire, but almost admiration. I couldn’t read his mind; I had no idea why he’d chased me across the ocean, other than over his infatuation, but I couldn’t help admiring his spirit, either.
“Promise me you know it won’t be a date,” I said, holding out my hand to shake.
Josh gripped my waiting fingers with surprising strength, and he squeezed. “I promise,” he said, his eyes twinkling. “This is definitely, certainly, not a date. Just colleagues discussing work.”
I smiled and relaxed my tense shoulders. Maybe Josh wasn’t as much of a disrespectful asshole as I’d assumed over the last few months, and maybe he was finally beginning to understand that a relationship between us was never going to happen again.
Maybe we could even be friends.
Chapter Fifteen
Jay
By the time I got down to the police station that Connor was apparently being held at, I was a wreck. I kept imagining him in the worst sorts of ways—strung out on heroin, choking on his own vomit. Drinking all day then blacking out and hitting his head on something hard. Snorting so much cocaine that he got a wicked nosebleed and passed out from blood loss. I’d been around a lot of men who liked to party, but right now I was picturing Connor taking the game to a whole new level.
I pulled my Mercedes into the parking lot and jogged to the station. A plump brunette woman with a stringy fringe pushed away from her forehead with a clip was sitting behind the reception desk, and she raised her eyebrows at me but didn’t say anything when I came barreling inside.