by Ladew, Lisa
“Hi Emma, yeah, um, let me look at this note.” He didn’t sound happy to hear from her. Emma’s brow creased.
He came back on. “How are you feeling anyway?”
“Pretty good. I haven’t had any complications or anything.”
“Yeah well, Emma, it says here that you’ve been suspended.”
“Suspended!” A blood vessel beat at Emma’s temple, marking time with her pounding heart. She had never been in trouble at work before.
“Yeah, well, it says that you got arrested?”
Emma put a hand over her eyes. How did work know about that already?
“Yeah, does it say that the cop who arrested me did it with no cause whatsoever and then he tried to get me killed?” Emma demanded, yelling.
“What, Emma slow down? What are you talking about?”
Forget it Fielding, it’s not your fault. How long am I suspended for?”
“It says pending investigation.”
“Ok thanks. Bye.” Emma pushed the end call button viciously and strode faster down the hall. Suspended! Well fine, now she didn’t have to worry about work for a while. She was going to turn this into a positive if it killed her. Craig was waking up today and she wasn’t going to let anything ruin that.
Emma turned left into the cafeteria and tried to slow her breathing and take deeper breaths. No use staying upset over this. She had some money squirreled away to live on. Hawk would help her clear her name with the department. This would all get taken care of.
She walked around the perimeter of the room looking for Jerry.
She saw him, entering through the far entrance door, looking handsome in his khakis and pressed shirt. She’d never seen him wear anything but jeans before.
“Jerry,” she called, waving her arm.
He smiled and walked to her, giving her a kiss on the cheek and then a bone-crushing hug.
“So how’s Craig?” he asked.
“He’s great. Showing signs of recovery. They are waking him up right now. They wouldn’t let me stay in the room. That’s why I called; I figured we could get some lunch and catch up.” She almost told him she was suspended, but bit it back. She wanted to talk about more happy things right now - not bitch about work.
They each picked out some food from the cafeteria. Emma ravenous, got a turkey sandwich, fries, a big salad, some cottage cheese, a large coke, and a brownie for dessert.
Jerry laughed at her. “I never thought you’d out-eat me Em.”
“I gotta eat now, while I have the chance. Who knows if I’ll come back down for food once Craig is awake.” She smiled at his ribbing. She had missed Jerry. She remembered something. “Jerry, you had news for me the other day? What was it?”
“Oh, yeah! I met someone!” His enthusiastic smile pulled Emma right in.
“You mean you met someone you really like? And not just one of your bed-buddies?” She asked incredulously. Jerry didn’t seem to ever want to settle down, and he seemed to have an endless supply of women ‘friends’, most of whom had been in his bed at one time or another.
“Well, yeah, I do really like her, and I haven’t even slept with her yet,” he joked. “But honestly, it might be over before it really gets started.” He was still smiling, so Emma wasn’t sure if he was still joking or not.
“Over, why?”
“Well, she’s too classy. I get all self-conscious around her. It’s making me uncomfortable.”
Emma was confused. “Too classy?”
“She’s a theoretical physicist. An actual scientist! And a genius.” He leaned forward, whispering. “And she’s loaded. She drives a Jaguar.”
Emma started working on her sandwich and mulled this over. She didn’t know what to think of this information. She definitely didn’t sound like Jerry’s usual type. He tended towards hard-working, hard-drinking women, and never got serious with any of them. He always seemed out for just fun and he liked women that seemed out for the same thing.
He sat back, rubbing his bald head. “I don’t know why she agreed to date me in the first place. I met her at the library - you know, the big one downtown. We had a call there but it turned out to be nothing. Some lady thought she swallowed a bee and she was allergic, but she never had a reaction. We sat around watching her and joking with her for 20 minutes, and then Beth went in the back to talk to her brother-in-law who works there. So I was just sitting there in the microfiche room waiting for Beth to come back and I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. From the back she looked like my kind of woman, you know? And then when she came up to the desk we locked eyes and her eyes are the same color as yours Em. I’ve never seen anyone with eyes that light blue color other than you so I stared at her. I thought she was going to get offended but I still couldn’t tear my eyes off her. Instead she smiled and then came over and talked to me.”
Emma laughed. Typical Jerry, meeting women everywhere he went. His lean runner’s body, paramedic uniform, and completely bald head apparently lured them in like flies to honey. Emma had seen it with her own eyes many times.
“I asked her out after my shift and she agreed. She’s just in town doing research. We went out to lunch and she’s really amazing and interesting, but I just keep feeling like I’m out of my league with her. I mean, I went out and bought these pants today so I wouldn’t wear jeans again!”
Emma stopped eating long enough to lean forward and try to encourage Jerry. “Look Jerry, any woman would be lucky to have you, even a rich theoretical physicist. If you like her, then don’t worry about it,” she told him, trying to telegraph the same thing with her eyes.
Jerry sighed. “I know, that’s what I keep telling myself.”
Emma laughed around forkfuls of cottage cheese.
“She’s actually going to meet me here at 11:30. That’s why I have to go. We are going wine tasting.”
“Wine tasting?” Emma had never seen Jerry drink wine. “At noon?”
“Yeah, I know right? Apparently that’s the best time.”
Jerry started to look around, watching for his new friend. “You tell me what you think of her when I call you later Em.”
“OK Jerry, you know I will.”
Jerry hopped up in his seat. “There she is!” He waved his arms. “Vivian, Vivian, over here!”
Emma craned her neck, very curious about this woman. Vivian smiled and waved back at Jerry, revealing a flash of white teeth. “She’s gorgeous Jerry,” Emma whispered.
“I know, way too gorgeous,” Jerry whispered back.
She looked to be about Emma’s height, with long, brown, wavy, hair held together in a loose clip over one shoulder. She had a perfect, light complexion and wide-set, large eyes. As she got closer, Emma was immediately struck by the sense of class and grace she exuded. Emma could see what Jerry was talking about right away. Everything about the woman said money. From her movie-star body to her perfectly shaped eyebrows plus her expensive silk scarf and black, leather knee-boots over dark slacks. Her makeup was simple though, and her only jewelry was small gem earrings in each ear.
She made it to the table and gave Jerry a small kiss on the cheek, then turned to Emma.
“Vivian, this is my best friend in the world and partner, Emma Hill. Emma this is Vivian Dashell.”
Emma winced at the word partner, but shoved it out of her mind. She wanted to soak up impressions of Vivian to share with Jerry later. She smiled and held out her hand.
Vivian grasped it lightly, but didn’t shake it. “Emma, dear, I’ve heard so much about you. I am so happy to finally meet you.”
Emma was struck with how much Vivian’s eyes did exactly copy her own unique shade of light blue. “Hi Vivian, it’s nice to meet you too. Can you sit down?”
Vivian looked at Jerry, eyebrows raised. “We do have to go to get out to the winery by noon, but maybe we have a few minutes.”
She sat down and smiled. “Emma, what are you doing here in the hospital? Are you working here today?”
“No, my, uh, boy
friend is in the ICU. He got hurt at work a few days ago.”
“Oh no, that’s horrible, is he going to be alright?” Vivian’s eyebrows drew together in what seemed to be genuine concern. Emma liked her already.
“Yes, I think he is,” She leaned back and sighed. “I really do think he’ll be OK.”
The phone Hawk had given her buzzed. Emma wasn’t sure if she should answer it or not. She turned it over and a text message popped up on the screen. Emma couldn’t help but read it. Hawk. He’s awake. The doctors are done. You can come back.
“Oh, Jerry, Vivian, I’m so sorry but I have to go. Jerry, he’s awake,” she squeezed Jerry’s arm too hard. “You guys have a great time.” She rushed away from the table without waiting for them to respond, weaving between neighboring tables as fast as she could. She ran to the elevator and jammed the button a dozen times. “Hurry, hurry.”
The elevator came and she filed in, not waiting for anyone else, but jamming the close doors button over and over. On the 12th floor she sprinted down the hall, past the agents at the door.
Pulling it open, she rushed into the room. Hawk was standing at the side of the bed in mid-sentence. He stopped talking and looked up at her. She barely registered the concerned look on his face and then looked at Craig. His eyes were open! He swung his head towards her, expression blank. She smiled and walked towards him. “Craig, you’re awake, how do you feel?”
His eyebrows drew together like he was confused. He did not seem happy to see her. In a weak and raspy voice he asked Emma “What are you doing here?”
Hawk spoke up gently. “He doesn’t remember anything from about the last week. Not even going to work the night before he was shot.”
Emma pulled back like she was struck. Did that mean he didn’t remember forgiving her?
Chapter 9
Emma felt like breaking down and crying right here. Or turning tail and running. Just hitting the trail and running out all this frustration and fear and anger. Frustration at having Craig stolen from her again. Fear that he’d never remember. Anger that this all had happened in the first place.
He didn’t remember forgiving her. In fact, every time he looked at her he had that hurt look on his face, the one he wore right before he walked out of her house and out of her life.
She desperately wanted him to remember on his own. She couldn’t imagine trying to explain to him that he had forgiven her. Because he had to feel the forgiveness himself. Explaining wouldn’t do a damn thing.
Hawk excused them and took her out in the hall.
“The doctor called it retrograde amnesia and said he probably will remember the events that he has forgotten, but that he may not. He says the brain swelling may have caused it, or just the fact that his brain hadn’t had the time to commit the short term memory into long term memory yet. As he heals more he may remember, or something may trigger the memories to return. He said we just have to wait and see.”
Emma grabbed Hawk’s hand and looked imploringly up into his face. “Hawk, I did something stupid a week and a half ago and he was hurt by it, and mad at me. But he had forgiven me! When he put me into that helicopter he told me he wanted me to move in with him. He practically said he loved me. But now he doesn’t remember it and he is upset with me again.”
Hawk nodded along as she spoke, understanding filling his features. “Yes, I see that. I’m not sure what to do about it. Should we tell him, or just let him remember on his own?”
Emma dropped her head. “I don’t know. It’s torture for me to not be able to touch him and kiss him, but I can tell he doesn’t even want me in the room! But just telling him he forgave me is not going to make him be able to feel it.”
Hawk nodded again. “Why don’t we just stay close, and fill him in on everything that’s happened in the last few days and see what happens. We don’t have to try to convince him to forgive you again, but maybe something will jog his memory.”
“Ok,” Emma whispered, hoping against hope that Hawk was right.
They went back in the room. Emma moved to the chair and Hawk brought in another chair from outside.
“Now that Emma’s here we want to tell you what’s been going on the last few days,” he told Craig.
Craig nodded slowly, questioningly, eyebrows raised.
Hawk began, “So you already know you were shot 2 days ago and you have been in a kind of medical coma ever since - think back - what is your last memory?”
Craig pondered. As if it hurt to do so, he closed his eyes and relaxed his head on the pillow. After a few moments he began to talk. “I remember talking to Frankie after an, ah, incident at the fire station. I remember Frankie telling me they were looking for volunteers for the wildfire and it would be a good idea if I volunteered, since I’d never been to one yet. I remember telling him I wanted to do it, and I remember driving home the next morning. I was scheduled to come up to the fire that evening for the night shift. And that’s it. I don’t remember getting home or anything after that.”
Hawk and Emma exchanged a look. That was the day that he had come and found her in the woods.
“Ok, I’m going to tell you in a linear fashion everything that has happened since then.” He nodded to Emma. “Emma, if I forget anything, interrupt me.”
“Ok.”
Hawk started talking, and Emma watched Craig closely for signs of recognition. When he told Craig that Emma had saved a hunter in the woods, only to be knocked over by a falling tree and then luckily found by Craig and med-evaced, there was a bit of a response. Craig looked at her wide-eyed and with more warmth. Hawk didn’t share the part about Craig turning out to be the man in Emma’s vision after all, or how Craig had acted like a man in love, because he didn’t know it. Hawk then told Craig about Norman visiting Emma, Emma racing up the mountain to look for him, and how Emma found him. He shared how Emma had come back down the mountain and been arrested and attacked. Another wide-eyed look. Emma held up her bandaged arm.
Hawk backtracked here and detailed some things that Emma didn’t know. That he had also become worried about Craig around 10, when he hadn’t heard from him that morning. He didn’t start looking for him till 11:00 though, when he was really worried. He called dispatch and was told that “There was no information available about the whereabouts of Mr. Masterson.” This really worried him, since ordinarily they would just say “He’s not working right now, or he’s working right now.” He called the hospital, but Craig hadn’t been flown in yet. He headed up the mountain himself and spoke to Captain Lane himself. Captain Lane was similarly tight-lipped until he pulled out his FBI badge, effectively blowing his cover here in Westwood Harbor.
“Damn, Hawk, I’m sorry,” Craig said, and hung his head.
Hawk laughed, “What are you sorry for? Sorry that some asshole shot you? Yeah, I’m sorry too. Don’t be silly Craig, it’s not your fault. Besides, my cover would have been blown soon anyway. Norman Foster is getting too dangerous. We are going to have to bring him in soon.”
Craig looked confused again. “So, how much does Emma know?” He asked Hawk, sneaking a glance at Emma.
“Everything Craig, she knows you’re FBI.”
Craig sat up straighter in his bed and looked sideways at Emma. “How does she feel about it?” he said out loud, his eyes focused on her.
Emma wasn’t sure if he was addressing her, or Hawk. A thrill raced up Emma’s spine. Does he care how I feel about him again? She forgot to answer, locking her gaze on Craig’s, everything else in the room falling away. She held tight to the chair with both hands, not wanting to run to him in case he wasn’t sure yet, but wanting to run to him and cover the good side of his face with kisses. Wanting to jump right in that bed with him and indulge her every whim.
Hawk was silent for a moment, looking from Craig to Emma. “Um, well, I’m not sure but I think she’s OK with it.”
Emma couldn’t read Craig’s eyes, but she didn’t care. She opened up her soul to him through her eyes. She gave him ev
erything she had to give him. She laid herself bare and open and vulnerable. I’m yours, she thought. If you’ll just have me again.
Craig gave her a crooked smile, one dimple showing up, then he tore his eyes back to Hawk.
Emma felt the heat of his stare leave her, and she sat back, disappointed.
“So, uh, where was I?” Hawk stammered, obviously feeling the fire himself and not sure what to do about it. “Oh yeah, so Captain Lane told me what happened and that you had just been found by Emma and just been sent out of there in a helicopter. She looked very grave when she told me and I feared the worst. I called in a team to cordon off the area and start a search and then I headed down to the hospital myself. No one here wanted to talk to me, because you were still in surgery. I finally found your doctor and put a guard on your surgery room who would follow you to this room. I talked to the hospital administration and got an empty office in the basement and started working out what I was going to do next. I got news that you were out of surgery so I came up to see you. Then I got news that a gun had been found at the scene to I went to fast-track the investigation on the gun.”
“A gun at the scene?” Craig asked.
“Yeah, they found it mostly buried, but not very well, and not very far away, like someone wanted it to be found.”
Craig raised his eyebrows again and looked at Emma and then back to Hawk.
Hawk held up a hand and said “Before I go any further Craig, tell me your thoughts here. Do you have any suspicions into who shot you?”
Craig looked at Emma again, but it lacked heat this time.
“Yes,” he said staring flatly at Emma. “Norman Foster did, I’m sure.”
Emma winced. God knew she shouldn’t feel responsible for Norman’s actions but she did.
“There’s something I need to tell you Emma, or did you tell her already Hawk?”
“About Norman visiting you? No, I didn’t.”
Emma looked from Hawk to Craig, trepidation building in her brain. She didn’t want to hear this. But of course she was going to.
