I stand up and get ready to return to work, telling myself over and over again that things won’t always be like this. One day, I won’t have to worry about Darren, and Ardan is nothing like him. Yeah, I think I chose a good man this time, and Darren isn’t going to get in the way of that. I broke the curse. Sure, Ardan isn’t the boy-next-door type—he’s rough around the edges and delves into shades of gray more than anyone I know, but he has a good heart, and more than anything, he makes me happy. He makes me feel good about myself; he makes me feel protected and safe. I deserve to be happy.
And if I have to fight for it, I will.
EIGHT
I FINALLY found an apartment—with Ardan’s help. He wouldn’t have it any other way. The new place is a two-bedroom, one-bath modern apartment close to work, and in a safe neighborhood, according to him. I have to admit that I’m pretty in love with it. Things with Ardan have been amazing, and I’ve found myself spending a lot of time with him over the last few weeks, getting to know him and learning to trust him. I haven’t heard anything from Darren, so I’m hoping he’s finally decided to move on and leave me alone, even though deep down I don’t believe it for a second.
When I moved into my new apartment, Ardan helped me. By help, I mean he got one of his friends, a part-scary, part-sexy bearded man by the name of Arrow, to carry everything in with him while I stood by idly and watched. I bought some secondhand furniture for the place but splurged on a brand-new bed and mattress. I never want to get out of bed in the mornings, but I do have the best sleep ever.
We’re sitting on the couch a few nights after I moved in, him in the corner and me in the middle, having a drink. I have a glass of red wine, while Ardan has a whiskey.
“Why are you so far away?” I ask, flashing him my most enticing bedroom eyes. “Come over here.”
“You come here,” he says, watching me like a hawk. I roll my eyes but give in and move next to him.
“I can’t stay long tonight,” he says, running his free hand through my hair.
“Why?” I ask, not angry, just curious. “I thought you were going to spend the night.”
“Yeah, I was,” he says, lifting my face up and looking me in the eye. “I forgot we have something going on at the clubhouse tonight, and I can’t miss it. I’m showing up late, but I have to be there.”
“Okay,” I say, laughing at his surprised expression, like he expected me to get mad over it.
“That’s it? Just okay?” he asks, voice laced with suspicion, his eyes narrowed.
“Yeah, I mean I know the club is important to you, and it’s who you are, even though I don’t really know much about it.” I don’t think you can change a man. I either take Ardan as he is or not at all, and from what I’ve seen so far, he’s been nothing short of amazing.
He flashes me a crooked smile. “Where the fuck did you come from, darlin’? And why did you make me wait so long to find you?”
I laugh at that and put my glass down on the table before wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my cheek against his chest.
“I was taken by someone who didn’t deserve me,” I say, placing a kiss on his chest. “I should have left sooner, instead of wasting time, but who knows? Maybe then we wouldn’t have even met.”
“Fucker,” he grumbles, running his hand down my back. “He must be fuckin’ stupid not to do everything possible to keep a woman like you.” He pauses. “Not that I’m complaining, because otherwise you wouldn’t be here right now.”
The sad thing is, Darren did try to keep me, but with threats and guilt trips instead of treating me right. He’d mess with my head, make me believe that it was me who was lacking, that it was my fault things were the way they were. When someone keeps telling you over and over again that you’re not good enough, in the back of your mind, no matter how strong you are, you start to wonder if that person is right. When you see other people being treated so well, being respected and cared for, you wonder why you don’t have that. What is it about you that drew in someone like that? The whole thing almost destroyed me and I’m so happy to be away from it. All the negativity has drained away, leaving behind feelings of hope and positivity, and the chance of starting over.
“I want to hear everything about your past,” he says softly. “When you’re ready, of course. You know there’s nothing you can’t tell me, right?”
“I know. I’m just happy I moved here,” I tell him honestly. “It’s been so good for me. I can’t remember the last time I was this happy.”
Ardan leans forward to put his glass down next to mine and then lifts me so I’m sitting across his lap.
“You know, when I saw you, I just wanted you,” he says, his eyes turning heavy. “That’s never happened to me before.” His expression turns sheepish. “I mean, yeah, I’ve seen women and wanted to fuck them before, but I’ve never seen a woman and just wanted . . . her. Fuck, it’s hard to explain. It was just a different feeling. I want to say it was that I wanted to possess you, but that sounds fucked-up.” He exhales and lowers his gaze to my lips. “Something in me just wanted something in you.”
“I get it,” I say, licking my lips. “You don’t have to explain. I get it.”
“Good,” he says, kissing me hungrily. I taste the whiskey on his lips as I pull away, our eyes still locked.
I reach my fingers out absently to touch the scar on his neck as I say, “Shall we take this to the bedroom?”
His lip twitches and his dark eyes flash with amusement. “Pretty sure that’s my line.”
“Well, hurry up and make your move, then, because I want you inside me,” I say, not holding back. I find myself feeling comfortable saying almost anything to this man—I don’t feel shy or that he will judge me. I know for a fact my bold words turn him on, which he proves yet again as I feel him grow hard under me. “I can feel your interest.”
“I know you can,” he says, grabbing my jaw with his hand and bringing my face to his for another kiss, this one more demanding. “Fuck, you’re so beautiful. The men at the clubhouse are going to go nuts for you, except I’m going to fuckin’ murder them if they even look in your direction.”
I roll my eyes and slide off his lap, then fiddle with the button on his jeans until he moves my hands out of the way and undoes it for me and pulls them down, exposing himself to me. I slide my panties off impatiently and lift my dress up and over my head.
“Take your T-shirt off too,” I demand.
He looks amused, his eyes dancing, but does as I say, flashing his ripped body as his T-shirt lands on the floor next to my dress. I straddle him, my mouth slamming down on his as he practically rips off my bra. Reaching between us, he slides himself inside me, both of us moaning at the feeling. I start to ride him, bouncing up and down, controlling the speed and rhythm. When he moves his mouth away from my lips to suck and lick my nipples, I fuck him harder, giving it all I have.
“Fuck, Valentina,” he growls, lifting his head and looking me in the eye. “Harder.”
Harder?
I go harder.
When I feel myself on the verge of coming, somehow Ardan must know it too, because he says, “Yes, come all over my dick.”
I don’t know what my tell is, but I like that he’s so in tune with my body.
A hard slap on my ass sends me over the edge, and through my haze of pleasure I hear him say, “Going to come.”
“Yes,” escapes from my lips.
Yes to everything.
After he finishes, I sit on his lap, him still inside me, and bury my face in his neck, exhaustion taking me over.
“I’m going to sleep like this,” I announce.
“Me too,” he replies.
I kiss his neck, soft and gentle, telling him without words how much I appreciate him. He wraps his arms around me and holds me while I close my eyes and just enjoy the moment. When I’m about t
o fall asleep, I decide I should probably move off him, so I do so, but I don’t go far, lying down on the couch and laying my head on his thigh, my arm wrapping around him. His hand instantly finds my hair. After a few moments, he lifts me in his arms and carries me to my bed.
“So now you want to go to bed,” I grumble, yawning.
He chuckles deeply, lifting the blanket to cover me.
“You can’t stay a little longer?” I ask when he doesn’t get in next to me.
“If I do, then I’ll never leave.”
A long, lingering kiss, and then he heads to the clubhouse, while I fall asleep.
NINE
WHEN Ardan cancels on our plans again, I get a bad feeling in my stomach. He said he was needed by the Wind Dragons and that the second he could, he would be back to see me. Trying not to think about it too much, I keep myself busy on my day off by tidying up the apartment.
When Jess texts to see if I want to go to dinner and a movie with her, I take her up on the offer. It’s the first time I’ll be seeing her outside of work, but I’m happy she invited me. When I think about it, because I’ve been spending most of my time with Ardan, I haven’t really made any other friends here, apart from the girls at work, which is stupid of me. I should be out meeting new people and seeing what this city has to offer. I dress casually in a pair of jeans, a black V-neck top, and flats, and then drive to the theater Jess asked me to meet her at. I find her standing in the lobby, looking down at her phone. She’s wearing all black, a Harley tank top, and jeans.
She glances up as I approach and smiles.
“Hey,” I say, smiling back at her.
“Hey, yourself. I got our tickets but I didn’t know what snacks you wanted, so I thought I’d wait for you.”
“What would you like? I’ll get it,” I say, pulling out my purse. “I’m just going to get some popcorn and a drink.”
“Sounds good,” she agrees as we walk toward the counter.
I pause and grin. “Maybe some chocolate too.”
I don’t want to ruin dinner afterward, but I’m kind of hungry.
She laughs and says, “My kind of girl.”
I buy the snacks and we go into the movie. After it’s over, we have dinner together before I head home. I really enjoy the night and tell myself I need to do this again. I need to have balance in my life; not everything can be about Ardan, because then when he’s busy I get bored and don’t know what to do with myself, and I don’t want to be that girl. I send him a quick message before I go to sleep, telling him I hope he had a good night and that I’m going to bed.
I fall asleep before I get a reply.
“Hotline Bling” by Drake plays over and over as my phone rings. Half asleep, I reach around for it in the dark, finally finding it under the pillow next to me. I press the green button and say in a sleepy voice, “Hello.”
“Valentina, open the door,” Ardan says, making me sit up in bed.
“You’re here?” I ask, confused.
“Yeah, open the door, darlin’.”
I hang up and rush to the front door, unlocking and opening it. When I see him standing there, his face looking paler than usual, a bad feeling settles in my gut.
“What happened?” I ask, closing and locking the door behind him.
“What makes you think something happened?” he replies, stepping inside and wrapping his strong arms around me. “Fuck, I just need to be in bed with you right now.”
I hug him tighter, and when he flinches, I pull back and study him. “What the fuck?”
He winces and pulls up his T-shirt. I check over his abs, which look delicious but fine, then farther up until I reach his chest. I yank my hand back at the feel of new stitches. “Oh my god!”
“I’m fine, Valentina,” he says, putting up his hands as if to calm me down. “I just got a little stabbed.”
I freeze. “You just got a little stabbed ?” I yell, making air quotes with my fingers. “What the hell, Ardan? Why are you not in the hospital?”
He sighs and runs his hand through his hair. “One of my brothers, his woman was in some shit. He was gone on a run up north and I was keeping an eye on her just in case anything happened. Well, shit fuckin’ happened, and I got stabbed in the chest trying to fix the problem.”
I place my arm on his shoulder and look at where the wound is, now covered up. “Can I get you anything or do anything to help?”
He shakes his head. “Right now I just need you and sleep.”
I swallow and nod my head quickly. “Come on.”
We walk hand in hand to bed, and I slide in first, lifting the blanket up for him. When he gets comfortable and pulls me closer to him, I resist a little because I don’t want to hurt him.
“It’s on the other side, darlin’. You can hug me; it’s fine,” he says softly, his accent sounding more prominent than usual.
“Are you sure you’re okay? What did the doctor say?” I ask him in the darkness. “You did see a doctor, right?” My voice turns high-pitched by the end of the sentence.
He runs his hand over my stomach and says, “The club doc came and saw me, just stitched me up a little, but it’s not too deep, so it’s all right. Just said to keep an eye on it.”
“Does stuff like this happen a lot?” I ask, closing my eyes and trying not to worry about him so much.
“Not all the time,” he says softly, clearing his throat. “But sometimes, yes. If my brothers need me, I have their back, and they have mine if I need them. Sometimes we win; sometimes we lose.” I can hear the smile in his voice when he adds, “But we usually win.”
“You’re insane,” I whisper, puffing out a breath. “Thank God you’re okay, though. I don’t know what I would have done if something happened.” I pause, and then add, “Something more than what you seem to think is a casual stabbing.”
He chuckles, then groans. “Now is not the time to make me laugh.”
I groan back and then kiss his shoulder. “You need to stop getting stabbed, babe.”
“I’ll try my hardest,” he says, sounding tired.
“Good night,” I say, yawning.
“’Night, darlin’.”
I’m half asleep when I hear him say, “I’m not going to let anything happen to me, not now that I have you.”
I must have been dreaming.
“Are you angry at me because I got stabbed? It was hardly my choice, and not like I volunteered for it,” he growls, shaking his head in disbelief. “Stop being angry.”
I purse my lips. “I’m not angry; I’m just worried about you, and yes, maybe it’s coming out as anger. Sorry, but I’ve never really dealt with a situation like this before, you know.”
His voice gentles when he says, “I know, Valentina, I know. And I’m sorry you have to deal with it at all. But it happened, and I’m fine, you have nothing to worry about. Now come and sit next to me before I have to carry you over here, and then I will be in pain.”
“Blackmail,” I grumble, sitting down next to him. “Are you hungry?”
“I’m hungry for you,” he says in a husky tone, running his hand up my bare thigh.
“We’re not having sex,” I repeat for the fourth time.
Ardan scowls and mutters, “I’ll kill that bastard again, the cock block.”
I roll my eyes at his joke. “Very funny. Now do you want to eat? I made that pasta, and I’m going to have some.”
“Okay,” he says, sounding like a surly little boy, which makes me snicker. I serve both of us, then return to the couch with the plates.
“Thanks,” he says, taking his and digging in before I can pick up my fork.
“See, you were hungry,” I say before taking a bite.
“Sex beats food,” he says, grinning. “At least sex with you does.”
“Stop being cute,” I say, chewing
and swallowing. “Do you think I don’t want to? Because I do, I just don’t think we should be fucking a few days after you got stabbed in the chest.”
He opens his mouth to speak, but I hold my hand up. “Come on, that’s fair. At least wait until tomorrow or the day after, please.”
“Tomorrow,” he says, his tone demanding no argument. “And this pasta is amazing, thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” I say, happy to be appreciated. It’s something I never really experienced in my last relationship. I remember once I made a simple dinner for Darren, some toasted sandwiches, and he threw it on the ground in a fit of rage and said it was shit. It actually makes me feel weak to think about everything I put up with. But then I remind myself I got out, and there’s no point looking back.
“Do you want to go out for dinner tonight? There’s a place I want to take you that does the best ribs in the city.”
I nod. “If you’re feeling up to it.”
He flashes me a look that says he’s clearly done with my fussing. “Oh, don’t you worry, I’m feeling up to it all right.”
I try to hide my amusement and fail, my lips twitching and him catching it.
“Valentina?”
“Yeah?” I reply, looking down at my plate.
“I love you.”
I lift my head up, my eyes wide.
“Wh-what?”
“I love you,” he repeats, so simply, as easy as taking another breath. “I just wanted you to know.”
He continues to eat while I sit in stunned silence.
He loves me?
So soon?
Is it too soon?
Yes, it’s definitely too soon. What am I supposed to say?
Do I love him?
I think it’s more of a leaning toward loving him. Is that an answer? I don’t think he’d appreciate me saying that, but I’m pretty sure he’s waiting for an answer right now while I’m thinking this.
Dirty Ride Page 5
