by Clare James
I should’ve worn some goddamn clothes to bed so I wouldn’t be so tempted to rub one off with her face in my head, her words in my ears, her touch on my skin.
I gripped my shaft, low at the base, and allowed myself one slow stroke. It would be so fucking good with her. My fist pumped again, this time of its own volition. Soon, I was lost in the image of her strawberry hair and green eyes and all that porcelain skin. I was caught up in the grip of my fist, and the ache low in my balls. I let myself get off on it. And when I came hard and fast, nothing but her name was on my lips.
“Why are you such a bear this morning?” Tabby asked from the phone, far too early for the weekend. I slowly pried one lid open, and then the other.
“Hey T-bear,” I yawned, “what’s up?”
“Breakfast, you tool,” she said, reminding me of our morning date. She was leaving soon and wanted to catch up before spring break. “What’s wrong with you? You sound weird.”
“You know how my weekends are,” I told her. “I don’t mean to be a dick, I’m just tired, that’s all.”
“I'm sorry, big brother, but you’re not getting out of breakfast. I’m going to be in Mexico for ten days and I need to spend time with you before I leave.”
“I want that too, Tab,” I told her. I rolled out of bed, found a pair jeans on the floor and yanked them on, then scrounged around for a clean T-shirt. “I'll wait for you outside in the parking lot.”
I was hoping maybe some fresh air would do me some good.
“Okay, I’ll see you in about ten,” she said before hanging up.
I hated the dread knotting in my stomach, knowing that I’d been betraying my sister by spending time with Jenna. But hell, I don’t ever remember being so hard up for a girl. I had it bad, but maybe spending some time with Tab was exactly what I needed to get my head on straight.
Or not.
When I got out to the parking lot, Jenna was there with the mutts. Of fucking course. She looked adorable in her pj shorts and oversized sweatshirt, clomping around in a pair of winter boots. Molly and Ruby were running around her in circles, practically tying her up in their leashes. Perfect. That only brought to mind other things that I’d like to do with the woman. Those lucky mutts.
“Hey,” I called out to her, unable to help myself. “There’s a noise ordinance in the neighborhood, you know. We have quiet hours,” I looked at my watch, “for another fifteen minutes.”
“Is that so?” she asked, a soft smile on her lips.
I approached. “It is. Here, let me help you with that,” I said as I grabbed Ruby’s leash and tried to untangle her. I bent down and looped the leash between her legs, unraveling one and then the other.
Just don’t touch her skin, moron.
“Why are you so nice to me?” she asked, the words hanging in a bubble above her head to illustrate what a schmuck I was. But I was so far beyond getting the message. Jenna’s cinnamon scent filled the air around us making my brain all weird and fuzzy. I sucked it all into to my lungs, desperate to hold on to some little part of her.
Beautiful, now I sounded like a serial killer.
I touched her cheek, trying for some semblance of normal. “You deserve someone to be nice to you, Jenna. You deserve so much.”
That was the absolute truth.
“So how did you sleep?” she asked.
“Not great. You?”
“Same. Are you working today?” she asked, reaching down to pet Oscar. I was already kneeling by Molly and Ruby, trying to keep them from twisting their leashes again.
“Yeah, I was just going out to grab some breakfast before my shift."
“Oh, you know I was wondering—”
I interrupted her by looking over my shoulder when Tabby arrived and never got a chance to hear the end of that sentence. My sister was there waiting for me, and I wasn’t going to risk being seen with Jenna to set her off.
I didn’t want Jenna to take any grief from Tabby because of me. And Tabby would assume it was Jenna initiating things, not me. So I turned away with hardly a goodbye.
Oscar barked at me as I made my way to Tabby’s car. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear he’d just called me an asshole.
Tabby and I caught up over omelets and pancakes, and I felt a little better when we parted. A little less like a turncoat. I wanted to tell her what Jenna and I were becoming, but I didn’t know what that was so I decided not to mention it to Tab until I could define it. She didn’t freak out when she saw Jenna in the courtyard, so maybe she was getting used to the idea of her being around.
The station was pretty quiet when I arrived for my shift. I know it’s a little sick, but I was hoping for a shooting or robbery today to make things a little interesting. So far, all I’d seen was a few leftover drunks from the night before.
“Let’s go, kid,” Jones said before I even made it over to my work area. He was gulping down a Styrofoam cup of sludge, which made no sense when there was a perfectly good Starbucks across the street that was now open.
He waved me over and the adrenaline started to kick in. Maybe it was going to be a good day.
“We’ve got a new tip on the shelter,” he added.
Shit.
We jumped into the squad car and drove the seven minutes to Top Dog, and I broke out into a sweat. Jones pulled to a stop across the street and we sat and watched for a minute.
In the large front window, I spotted Jenna. She had a puppy in her arms and a huge dog at her hip. She was smiling—the real smile—completely in her element. She was destroying me, and I couldn’t believe it was all going to end before it ever started, because the way Jenna felt about this place, and the animals, she’d never forgive me if she knew I was on the team trying to shut it down.
“All right,” Jones said when he was ready. “Let’s go in. But this time, you take the lead.”
11
Jenna
After Michael left this morning, I felt empty and rung out, twisted, drained, and left in a heap of unwanted. Dramatic much? So what? I had every right to be in a mood.
He had the nerve to say that I deserved someone to be nice to me. He’d said a lot of sweet things that didn’t amount to much when he ran from me whenever his sister was in sight. I was getting sick of the mixed signals; not that I was any better, I admit that. But I also wasn’t the person with all the baggage, and I certainly wasn’t trying to hide.
But once again, Tabby was mucking up my life. Still, I couldn’t hate her. I’d been strangely jealous when Michael had told me about Tabby and Jules’ girls’ night out during our dinner. It was something I hadn’t had in years.
Was it ludicrous that there was a part of me that really wanted to be Tabby’s friend?
Of course that was never really in the cards for us so I guess, without thinking, I did the next best thing…I became her enemy. And now I was paying the price because the first guy to make me actually feel something in forever just had to be the brother of my nemesis.
Goddamn him for that.
“What in the hell happened to you, dear?” Gloria said when I arrived at the shelter. Apparently, I couldn’t fake it for anyone these days. That was something that was going to have to change. I couldn’t be leaving myself susceptible to a breakdown just because Michael ignored me. I was better than that, stronger than that. And if I wasn’t, surely I could fake it.
“I didn't get much sleep last night,” I told her. It wasn’t a lie. Actually, I wasn’t getting a lot of sleep at all lately. Another reason I needed to get over whatever was going on between Michael and me.
“I have just the thing to perk you up,” Gloria said, leading me into the doggy playroom. I followed her inside and gave her an appreciative smile when she shut the door before I was immediately attacked by nearly a dozen dogs who all wanted my love.
I would give it to them happily, because they were the only ones who deserved it.
For the next twenty minutes, I took turns rubbing bellies, playing fetch, and runn
ing around with the attention-starved pack of sweetness in the room, and it took no time at all before my mood started to change. This is where I needed to be. This was why dogs were so much better than dudes. Now if I could only remember that when Michael came into my line of sight, or brushed up against me, or clouded my brain with his amazing scent that was a cross between fresh laundry, pine and crisp spring air.
Why wasn’t I confident that would happen?
Too soon, the intoxicating puppy high came crashing down. Gloria waved at me from the big window on the other side of the playroom as a man in blue came through the front door. Officer Jones was his name, but he looked more like an MMA fighter than the guardian of the law.
“Morning ladies,” he said. “Just here to check a few things out.”
“What things?” Gloria asked as her eyes surveyed the place, making sure everything was in order.
“Well, headcount of your little critters for one,” he ticked off on his finger before checking his notebook. “And something else that’s come to our attention.”
Gloria waved him on, indicating to tell her what else was on his alleged list. We feigned surprise when we both knew this was the result of some other complaint from Sullivan. If he couldn’t get us one way, he was going get us another.
Watching the cop question Gloria left a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
“Let me show you,” he continued. “It's out here.”
He walked us out the main door to the yard. I noticed his squad car sat across the street in the front of the shelter. His partner—or someone—was waiting in the front seat, probably plotting their next stop of harassment for the day.
Officer Jones took out a tape measure and placed it on the ground to measure the flipping grass. I kid you not.
My mouth dropped open and Gloria rolled her eyes.
“Ladies, the neighborhood ordinance here says the grass can’t be over five inches.”
Geez, who did that sound like?
“That’s not grass,” Gloria protested. “The grass hasn’t even come in yet, these are weeds. And the snow has just melted, so they’ve been buried for the last six months.”
Officer Musclehead just shrugged. “Regardless, this is part of your lawn and must fall within the ordinance guidelines. I don’t make the rules, I just enforce them.”
I had to feel for the guy a teeny tiny bit. He didn’t look like he wanted to be out here doing this ridiculous work, but obviously someone was forcing his hand.
“It’s okay, Gloria. There’s a mower out back. I’m on it, officer.”
I cursed Officer Drop-Kick the entire time I mowed our patches of weeds. He wasn’t much different than Michael with his stupid rules and over-the-top law and order crap. That set me off cursing him as well.
The cursing must’ve followed me inside, because someone said, “Whoa, remind me not to get on your bad side.”
I recognized the voice, and when I looked up, it was Christian.
His cheeks flushed when he approached. “I didn’t think it was right to show up at your apartment, but I came to tell you that I’d like to see Ruby again.”
Well, that was thoughtful and well within adopter/adoptee protocol. Michael and his paranoia. Pfft, there really were some good people left in the world.
“Sure, I think she liked you,” I lied.
“Right.” He shook his head and a lock of blond curls fell over his eye. I forced myself to admit that he was kind of cute. This was the only way to move on from Michael.
“But I’m hoping it was a fluke,” he went on, “because I really think she’s the one for me.” His eyes stayed glued to mine when he said that last part.
“Well, when would you like to see her?”
“That’s the thing, I was hoping to make it a double date. I hope you don’t think this is too forward, but it’s rare I get to meet a girl like you, so cool and someone who cares about more than getting manicures or what brand of aviators I’m wearing.”
If he only knew.
“Maybe I could take you out for dinner afterward, and we could have an interview ourselves, see if we’re compatible?” he asked, hopeful.
I must’ve made a face because he looked down. “Too much? Sorry, that was cheesy.”
“No, it’s not that. It was a cute line. I just wasn’t expecting it.” I pulled at my shirt. “God, look at me, I’m a mess.”
“You’re beautiful.” He smiled. “So, what do you say?”
“Okay,” I agreed. There was nothing stopping me.
“Tomorrow night?”
“It’s a date.”
So maybe a date could kill the itch that Michael infected me with. That was the plan. Hopefully, it was for the best.
12
Michael
I faked a phone call—that was how I solved my problems lately.
“Sorry,” I answered the bullshit call and motioned to my phone, “it’s my parents, an issue with tuition. I’ll just meet you in there.”
Jones cracked his neck, his face unreadable. I couldn’t tell if he was onto me, or not. What a freaking pussy I was, but after what I pulled this morning, I couldn’t have Jenna finding out about this too. I stayed in the car, pretending to discuss tuition costs with my dad, while Jones left the squad and went inside to harass Gloria and Jenna.
I’m sure I was making a great impression. This was why I didn’t want to get involved with anyone in the first place. I couldn’t mess this up. I’d lucked out getting the internship and it was possible that I could have a job lined up right after graduation. Then what could my dad say about my career choice? It was our deal. I get the job, and he’d have to help pay the college costs that I’d racked up in two states, because I sure as hell wouldn’t be able to cover them on a cop’s entry-level salary. Those bills could bankrupt me, and then I could kiss my career goodbye.
It was excruciating sitting in the car and doing nothing. Jones charged in there like the badass he was, made demands, and mortified them with the tape measure shit. He sent them scrambling—and mostly likely into a panic—all because they wanted to take care of animals that no one else wanted.
It made me physically ill.
As we pulled away, I watched Jenna wheel the lawnmower out on the front lawn, and I felt like the biggest kind of asshole. My emotions were all over the place, and no matter how many cons I ticked off in the Jenna list, the pros were too great. I could no longer stay away.
So I spent the rest of the day doing research, and was happy to uncover something on Sullivan that I thought might help with this fucked-up situation.
After, I’d stop at Jenna’s place and make this right. Tabby was leaving for Mexico for ten days, so there was no chance of hurting her. I could explore things with Jenna, and if we really had something, we’d deal with it then. Together.
I had it all planned out, what I was going to do, say, and even how I was going to hand her the Buddy Walker, I bought on my way home. It was pretty clever move on my part if I do say so. The Buddy Walker was a cool gadget for walking multiple pets without tangling. Though maybe it was a stupid idea, because it was a helluva lot of fun untangling the pooches from her legs.
Once I was back at the apartment, I wasted no time going over to her place. I knocked on her door and the pups went nuts, like they usually did. But Jenna never answered.
Looked like I’d have to wait.
I decided to be productive until Jenna returned, and headed downstairs to the laundry room to take care of my neglected chores. But after trekking down there, I noticed out of order signs on all of the machines.
Great. I cracked my neck like I’d seen Jones do earlier, feeling a headache coming on. This was the last thing I needed this week. It was bad enough to walk around with a hard on all day, but now I was going to have to do it in dirty clothes?
Not going to happen.
I transferred the clothes from my laundry basket into a backpack and then I strapped it on my shoulders and took off for the neare
st laundromat. I needed to blow off all this nervous energy anyway.
The weather still sucked ass, hovering around 40-degrees. I zipped up my jacket, and pedaled faster. I was still a bit of a wuss with the weather. That’s the thing about Minneapolis, the climate wasn’t for the faint of heart. Growing up in Chicago, I thought I was a hardy sort. Minnesota, however, was kicking my ass.
I was fitting in though, and really enjoying the city. It was beginning to feel like home. My fingertips were turning to ice, and I was sure my ears were approaching frostbite, but I continued on like a true local. Some of these crazies biked all winter long, and just changed out their bike tires. They were hardcore.
I cruised past the old Victorian homes, the packed dog park, and the quaint little bistro on the corner, until I reached my destination. I had never actually been to a laundromat before. This was going to be interesting. I locked up my bike and headed inside. The warm air from the circulating dryer instantly warmed me as the scents of fabric softener and detergent filled the air. So far, not too bad. It was almost comforting. I took my soiled clothes to the machine in the corner and dumped them inside. The place was quiet, and I looked forward to getting some studying done while I was here. I took the seat in the corner, when I heard someone swearing at what I can only imagine was another person.
“You motherfucker,” a woman’s voice rang out in the room. Her comments were followed by a crash and two smaller thuds. I had to get up from my seat to see what was going on.
“You stupid, idiotic, piece of metal crap.” She continued her rant.
This time, I wasn’t so intrigued, or concerned. I knew that voice. This couldn’t be more perfect.
“Ah, what’s the trouble, Jenna?” I asked her as she slowly turned around.
“Oh, thank God. Michael, can you help me? The stupid spin cycle isn’t working. I put my money in the goddamn machine, and put the detergent in, and the water filled up, but then it just stopped working.”
