by Zoey Ellis
As she re-entered the corridor, she saw Emric waiting for her, standing with his hands clasped before him.
She froze for a moment, and then smiled at him. “Good morning, Emric.”
“Good morning, Your Majesty,” he said, dipping his head into a bow. “It is good to see you up and about in the castle.”
Amara thanked him and then headed away from the red dungeon. He kept pace with her. “Where are my guards?” she asked, lightly.
“Unfortunately, they had to be disposed.”
“Disposed…?”
Emric inclined his head. “Killed.”
Amara stopped abruptly. “What?” She stared at him. “Why?”
Emric smiled at her apologetically. “You managed to escape them when they were supposed to be protecting you. That is unforgivable and akin to treason in King Malloron’s eyes. Anyone that fails such a duty must pay the price.”
Amara stared at him, shocked at his casual tone. “But there was no reason to kill them. It wasn’t their fault!” she spluttered before she could continue. “A punishment would have been enough.”
Emric peered at her, his brows twisted in incredulity. “You are His Majesty’s bonded mate, the queen, and the carrier of the future heirs of Eiros. Regardless if you fought hard to escape them, whether you used magic or attempted to damage yourself, they should be with you at all times. That was their job. His Majesty has been very generous to allow you the freedom of the castle, Your Majesty,” he said pointedly. “Any failure in your protection is just not a risk I can tolerate.”
Amara's mouth dropped open. “You ordered them killed? Not Malloron?”
Emric began walking down the corridor again and gave her a sideways glance. “King Malloron would not want to be bothered with this kind of thing,” he explained. “I am very clear on his instructions and preferences about the red dungeon and about you. If I cannot take the initiative when I need to, I am of no use to him.”
Amara kept pace with him while her mind tried to adjust to everything he said. Of course, Emric would need to make those kinds of decisions; he was Malloron's assistant after all. And while she was grateful that Malloron chose not to lock her in a room like he had done before, she was still disturbed by the thought that her impulsive decision to see the red dungeon again, to try to satisfy her curiosity and to see if there was any further information she could give the Mothers, had caused those men their lives.
They remained in silence until they left the servant’s area of the palace. Emric led her through a number of corridors and down into a small quiet corridor where he let her into a neat set of rooms tucked away from view of the main corridor.
“Where are we?” she asked, looking around the room.
“These are my rooms.”
Amara's brow shot up in surprise. “Your private rooms?”
Emric nodded. “It is nearly noon. You need somewhere quiet to eat.”
Amara hadn’t even thought of that. She looked around the rooms and was surprised to find them neat, tidy, and plainly decorated in creams, tans, and pale soft colors. She wouldn’t have guessed that Emric lived in such a place. He dressed so vibrantly that it almost seemed like a complete mismatch.
Her food arrived within a few moments, complete with its own table and chair, and Emric gestured for her to sit while he pulled over a seat, then joined her with bowls and plates of food he had already prepared for himself.
“How are you finding being queen?” he asked, as they both began to eat.
Amara's sigh was heavy. She searched for words to try to explain, but she couldn't.
“It's that great, is it?” Emric said, a warm smile on his face. “You will get used to it, Your Majesty. It may not seem like something you can deal with now, but I assure you, you have what it takes to be a great queen.”
“I’m not a real queen,” Amara told him. “I exist only as Malloron's mate and breeding partner, not as his queen.”
Emric frowned, somewhat offended. “I'm not sure why you believe that, but it's not true. Yes, you are Malloron's mate, but you are also queen to these Lands. Malloron would not have made you such if he did not feel that you are capable.”
Amara placed down her spoon. “You truly believe anything he tells you, don't you?” she said, somewhat sadly. “I'm no queen, Emric. It doesn't matter what he says.”
“I never have any reason to believe that what Malloron tells me is not true,” Emric said sharply. “But in this case, I don't need him to tell me anything. I can tell by the way that he talks about you, and his actions with you, and the way he looks at you. The only reason I even have a mate is because of the way he recognizes how he feels about you.”
“You have a mate?” Amara said in surprise. “I thought you had no friends or family.”
“I don't,” Emric said, his face softening. “But it turns out I do indeed have a mate. And I have rejected him for years.”
“Why?”
Emric said quietly for a moment, his eyes locked with Amara's. Then his shoulders dropped and he looked away. Placing down his spoon, he fixed his hands in his lap. “I have never told anyone this,” he began. “But I'm willing to tell you because I believe you’ll understand.” His voice lowered to a murmur. “You may be the only one who understands.” He took a breath. “When I first arrived at this palace, I was in bad shape. I'd been abused, I was starving, and I was weak. I had no strength and no ability to even explain anything about where I’d come from or who or what I was.
“King Malloron was a prince at that time. He was the one who offered me work inside the castle as a servant, but I was different from all the other servants, and I didn’t want him to know that so I accepted his job offer and allowed his healer to see to the really serious wounds but didn’t continue to see her once I could walk. I told him I just needed time on my own.
“I became a servant and recovered slowly, but I needed to hide my injuries and my differences. I couldn't allow anyone to see that I wasn't even in a good enough shape to work as a servant in the castle. I tried to keep myself away from most people, tried to find places to hide and sleep separately from the rest of the servants.
“There was one man who started working at a similar time that I started. I only noticed him because he was extremely handsome and extremely confident. He was always the center of attention, and it was clear he enjoyed it. I only ever saw him when we had similar shift patterns, but once we were put into the same quarters.”
Amara picked up her spoon again and began to spoon her soup into her mouth, her eyes on Emric.
“I didn't think anything of it—he didn't pay much attention to me. But one morning, when I returned from a hiding place, he asked me where I had been. Obviously, I didn't want to tell him—it wasn't any of his business anyway. But he was insistent. He said that he noticed I wasn’t in my bed that night, but I didn't know how he could have known. You know what the student quarters are like, there are loads of beds in there and servants get swapped out all the time. And also, our beds weren’t anywhere near each other. I couldn't figure out how he could tell I wasn’t in my bed when the servants next to me had no idea I was absent during the night.”
“They didn't care,” Amara murmured. “But he did.”
Emric’s brows rose, but he continued on. “Anyway, I didn't tell him where I had gone and why and that really annoyed him. He kept asking who I was seeing in the middle of the night. I tried to keep out of his way after that. I swapped quarters with another servant and he didn't really have a way to find me again—there are so many different shifts so it was easy to avoid him. He was very interested in the pleasure chambers King Malloron had started and was keen to be involved with their security. So, while King Malloron was establishing them, he switched between roles. He bragged about it constantly, clearly proud that he had been given such an important job and responsibility. I thought he was generally a sex-crazed idiot and just tried to avoid him as much as possible.
“But then we came across
each other again when we were put on the same shift about a month later. When we started, he would ensure that he was always working close to where I was. This didn't bother me at first, it didn't seem like it was anything that he was doing on purpose, but then he began to pay attention to me, which was something that I didn't want at all. He asked my name, how old I was, where I was from, questions about my family… He started off slow, as though it was casual, but soon I realized that he was basically trying to find out everything about me, and I was suspicious about it.
“Once again, I swapped shifts with another servant so I wouldn't have to deal with him, but this time he was not going to let me escape. He sought me out one evening, when I was cleaning one of the lower dungeon corridors and told me that I had better stop avoiding him or he would report me to the king. At this time the king was King Malloron’s father, and I knew that he would not have any reason to keep me if this Alpha, who clearly had his son’s favor, made up lies about me. So I decided to do whatever he asked me to.”
“What did he ask you to do,” Amara asked quietly.
“He wanted to have sex with me.”
Amara nodded. She could have guessed.
“He said it would only be once, and that he wouldn't hurt me.”
“And did he?” Amara asked hesitantly.
Emric shook his head. “It was the only time I enjoyed it in my life at that point.” He paused. “It wasn’t just sex. He held me and talked to me…” he shrugged. “It was so different to what I was used to.”
Amara breathed out, relieved. “So he's the one who is your mate?”
“The story is not finished.” Emric smiled. “A few nights after that happened, another servant approached me. He said the Alpha had recommended me as someone to go to for a good time.”
Amara groaned, closing her eyes.
“There were servants who did this in the castle,” Emric continued. “Exchanging favors for favors. There weren't a lot of them, but they did exist. I had seen the Alpha with this servant who approached me, I knew they were friends. But I didn't expect that he would extend his threat to have me serve his friends. I didn't really have a choice so I did it. And then another one of his friends came, and another, and another. And none of them were gentle. All of them sought to hurt me.”
“Why?” Amara asked, bewildered. “Why did it have to be painful?”
“Because that is what they like.” He hesitated. “And because they were punishing me for what I am.” He squared his shoulders. “I'm a Gamma, Your Majesty. I have no scent.”
Amara started in her chair. That couldn't be right. “That’s not true. I’ve experienced your scent before.” She couldn’t smell it now, but she remembered that she had.
“That was a fabricated scent made with potions,” Emric explained. “It gives a whiff of a Beta scent to make people I first meet think everything is normal. After that they don’t tend to notice I have no scent unless I get very close to them.”
Amara stared at him in shock. “Gammas are a separate dynamic to Alphas, Betas, and Omegas?”
Emric nodded. “The main identifying part of our dynamic is that we have no scent and we cannot scent others. It is a fascinating phenomenon for a lot of people, and many who enjoy exploring the perverse revel in that kind of phenomena.”
Amara lifted her eyebrows and blew out a breath. She hadn’t ever heard of any other dynamics before, but she could see how the people in this Land would take advantage—they had taken advantage of Omegas well enough. She nodded in understanding, pushing aside her soup bowl and pulling forward a plate of stewed beans. “So what happened next?”
“I decided I had to leave the castle,” Emric said. “It had become so bad that they began approaching me in gangs and organizing times and places where no one would find out what was happening. I knew I couldn't stay to live that kind of life, regardless of how much I felt indebted to the prince. So I made preparations. A couple of days before I planned to leave, a gang got to me. Obviously, I gritted my teeth and aimed to get through it, as usual, but that Alpha interrupted. He stopped what was happening… I couldn't tell why. He seemed angry and attacked one of the other servants after he pulled them off me. While they were fighting, I escaped and did everything I could to stay as far away from them as possible. Luckily, the next day, Malloron approached me. He said that the healer who’d healed my initial wounds had revealed to him that I was different and that, now that he was taking on more responsibilities, he wanted me to make use of my dynamic and skills for the royal family. He said I was to become his assistant and did I have any objections. I told him that I would love to take on the role but would only do so on the condition that I had a private room that no one knew about. I think he thought the request was odd, but he granted it. What I didn't realize at the time was that he also wanted me to speak on his behalf to other officials and investigate various situations both within the Western Lands and internationally, as well as organize the rest of the servants. I didn't realize that he was giving me such control and power. I told him that I wasn't sure I could represent him in such a way—I didn’t have the experience. But he told me the fact I was even concerned about that suggested I was the right person. He said he only asked for three things from me in the role; loyalty, obedience, and truth.”
Emric took a breath and then lifted his glass and drank deeply. Amara watched him closely, shaking her head in disbelief. “But I don’t recall the servants being like that when I was one.”
“That’s because I changed the way things were happening when I started my role. It was a slow process but eventually, I got the servants running the way I would have liked when I was one.”
Of course. That made sense. Amara suddenly wondered if the servants were the only part of Erios that weren’t corrupt.
“I learned only a couple of weeks ago,” Emric continued, “that the Alpha didn't know anything about the abuse because he’d never sent anyone to me. He had spoken about me to his friend but he didn’t know his friend had approached me or told others. The Alpha thought the gang rape only happened that one time when he found me, and he severely injured all who were involved in that particular attack over the following months, which I didn't realize.” Emric leaned forward. “I have been trying to avoid this man for years, since I've been working for King Malloron. All that time, I had no idea he wasn't truly behind what happened to me. He had been trying to convince me to be with him, and,” Emric averted his eyes, “I admit, we have been together again a few times since then, but I still rejected the idea of being with him. It was King Malloron who forced me to give him a chance.
“The point I'm trying to make is that you only see a part of Malloron. You do not see the full picture. You do not see what he does for you, what he is constantly doing for you all the time. You don’t know how concerned he was for you that he discarded his own injuries. You cannot possibly know the anguish that he is in, the pain at the idea that you didn’t care enough to bite him back. I’m only able to see how it has affected him because I have known him for decades and I can tell. He doesn't trust anyone in his life for a reason; I don’t know what it is, but he was letting you in. You destroyed that.”
Amara’s view blurred as tears filled her eyes. “It is not that simple, Emric,” she said. “He lied to me about something he knew was extremely important to me. You were never lied to.”
“Did he lie to you?” Emric asked pointedly. “Or did he simply not tell you the truth? There is a difference. It is a difference that is important here in the Western Lands. I do not know Malloron to be an outright liar. That's not to say he hasn’t before, but where he can, he chooses to be ambiguous.”
Amara sighed with irritation. “But this is the problem,” she said. “How can anyone feel comfortable with the man who chooses to be ambiguous rather than just be truthful? All in order to meet his own selfish desires. The benefit is always for him, never anyone else. How can anyone be comfortable with that? Even your mate did things for you that
benefited you not him. Malloron has never done that.”
“He bit you,” Emric snapped. “You think that was solely for him? He could have bitten you at any time before that if he wanted to. Do you think he would have put himself at risk like that for anyone else? I have never known of him to. He was trying to protect you from Brecc, and you would have been protected if you had just bitten him back!”
Amara blinked, surprised at his harsh tone.
Emric bit into his chunk of bread and chewed slowly, his breathing heavy as he avoided her gaze. After a few long moments, he spoke again. “The fact that you were taken meant that we went to war, Your Majesty.” His voice was much calmer, but Amara watched him closely. “Many people were affected by this.” He put his bread down. “Do you know, Emperor Drocco from the Lox Empire did the same thing for his Omega? He traveled here and attacked the castle to get his Omega back. Malloron thought he was an utter fool. He despised him for his weakness and mocked him openly. And yet when the time came, he didn't even think twice about doing the exact same thing—about going even further, in fact, because not every Alpha would have risked biting you with the hope of you biting him back.”
Amara sighed and blinked away her tears. It wasn't as though she didn't know that was true, but it wasn't the full story. “That is not a reason to punish me and his children,” she said quietly. “That is something we should be able to talk about and get past.”
Emric smiled wryly. “You are forgetting who you are talking about. King Malloron doesn’t know how to do that. He is used to cutting out the people in his life he can’t trust. But he can’t do that with you. He’s trying to cope with that the best way he knows how, but it’s difficult for him. He is constantly distracted from what he’s supposed to be doing.”
“Why are you telling me this?” Amara asked suddenly annoyed. “He won’t listen to me. He won’t talk to me. He is making me and the babies suffer—there’s nothing I can do about the damage he is currently inflicting on all of us. He won’t forgive me for it.”
