by Charles Dean
A week. A full week, and nothing I said or did cast doubt. But I put on a show at a bar for a bunch of drunks, and she suddenly starts doubting me? Lee was a little disappointed by her lack of faith, even if it was entirely justified, and he really was a liar.
“Now, do you understand? Augustus can deliver whatever amount you desire, and I, as his messenger, shall make sure that all your orders are met,” Lee proclaimed, once more returning to his disgusting used-car sales pitch.
Through continued use of deception, you have received +1 Deceit. Current Deceit: 15.
“I . . .” The bartender’s mouth hung open, and where his words failed to come out, another patron’s quickly did.
“Turn all of my water into beer, and I’ll believe any damn thing you say for the rest of my life,” one of the patrons quickly volunteered.
“I don’t need convincing either. That’s a miracle! That’s amazing! I don’t see how this is possible! Who else can do this?! Even the best mages I’ve seen in this city can only blow stuff up or heat things. This is changing the very nature of a liquid!” the man exclaimed loudly.
The bartender nodded right along in agreement with his patrons. “I’ve never seen anything like this in my entire life. Here. This is the money I owe you. I’ll pay. I’ll pay, and I’ll thank Augustus. I had no idea. I had no idea that my deeds had been noticed or that all my years of working hard to make the best beer would leave me actually blessed by a god. I’m so sorry that I doubted you!”
The man’s genuine and heartfelt words pierced Lee’s conscience like daggers, but he didn’t let it show. “Don’t worry about it. It’s no big deal, and I’m just the messenger. If you want to show your honest devotion”--he stopped as he pulled out few of the remaining copies of the Book of Lee that he still had--“please spread the good word,” he continued, kicking into high gear, as if he were trying to talk the group into timeshares. “It’s not required, and I’ll still sell you the beer, but it’d be nice. Also, feel free to visit our church in Satterfield if you ever have the time. We don’t have this beer there yet. This is special. It has been gifted specifically to you at the moment for your service to humanity, but we do have another set of treats I think you’ll like. Just ask for bacon or fried chicken and waffles.”
“For my service to humanity . . .” The bartender scratched his chin as he thought about that. “Bacon and Waffles? Because I served humanity, even when others wouldn’t?”
“Satterfield, huh? That’s not too far from here. What’s the church doing set up there? Why wouldn’t you start it here?” one of the patrons asked.
“Because Augustus told me that the people there needed help,” Lee said, looking over at Amber, whose frown quickly morphed back to a weak smile at that line. And I’m glad I got there when I did.
“Can anyone come?” the man asked.
“Anyone is welcome, and we’ll always do our best by Augustus to have a table and place to stay for you if you come,” Lee promised.
Those types of questions continued as Lee changed the rest of the water into beer. The crowd of patrons insisted on watching the entire time, and for some reason, it seemed to continuously amaze them. He thought that they’d get tired of the party trick after watching it several times, but they only grew more and more enthusiastic each time.
Your actions and deeds have successfully converted three people to your religion. Faith has increased by 8. Current Faith: 630.
By the time they left Heaven’s Hammer, they were beloved by everyone. There wasn’t a single person who didn’t believe that Lee was the messenger of an actual god. In a way, he wished that he was. It would have been better than getting stuck working with this offshoot member of some divine pantheon playing a sick version of deity survival games.
“So, you only came to Satterfield because Augustus told you that people needed help there?” Amber asked when they got farther away.
Lee nodded. “You could say that.”
“But he didn’t actually tell you to save us?” Amber pressed.
“Did he have to?” Lee asked back. “If you put a hungry fox in a chicken coup with only one chicken, aren’t you responsible for that chicken’s death?”
“Yeah, but you’re not a hungry fox,” Amber said.
I am, just not in the way you think. Lee groaned at the terrible joke. “No, maybe I’m just as simple to Augustus. He knew me, and he knew that I would see that the villagers needed help--just like you know that a fox would find the chicken. He set everything up and watched the result. So, is he to receive blame or credit?”
“Mmm . . .” Amber thought about it for a moment. “So, you were a pawn?”
“Absolutely.” It felt good to finally answer one of her questions truthfully. He was, without a doubt, a pawn in this game of gods. “I definitely am . . . in a way. But, considering it helped me save you, I’m okay with that. If I hadn’t been a pawn, I can’t even imagine what would have happened to you.”
“I see . . .” Amber bobbed her head slightly. “Okay, so that’s your type of truth, is it?”
“Is that bad?” Lee asked.
“No, but I still don’t like it,” she humphed.
“Is that what was bothering you earlier?”
“No, it’s . . . It’s something else,” she answered.
“Okay then. But you’ll tell me when you have time?”
“Of course. Speaking of time, we still have plenty of it before dinner or that weasley Leprechaun is likely to change shift. Does Augustus want us to go sell some more beer?”
Her tone was slightly sharper as she asked the second question, and Lee couldn’t help but worry because of it. Considering that he had just walked out of that bar with a little over 560 silver pieces, or 5.6 gold, in profits, as well as several more potential converts, he absolutely wanted to do it again. The only problem was that he now felt uncomfortable doing it with Amber in tow. “Are you sure you’re okay with me doing this?” he asked. “I’m going to have to tell truths that you don’t consider to be whole truths--truths that you don’t seem to like all that much--because Augustus expects me to take care of these things.”
She frowned while looking down. “I’m . . . I’m fine with it,” she sighed rather unconvincingly. “Let’s just get it done so that we have money for Satterfield. I know you’re really working hard for the town, and that's important.”
“Thank you,” he said, rubbing her head again, “I--”
Something suddenly caught his attention, however, and he left the next words unsaid. There was a man just ahead who looked just like one of the guards from the first grocer he had visited in town. If he didn’t know any better, he could have sworn the man was following him.
-----
After visiting several more bars and confusing the hell out of a few more grocers, Lee finally returned to the alleyway, carrying two barrels of beer with him. On the way, a death notification popped up.
Your party has killed Seamus. Your party has been awarded 11 silver, 20 copper, a superior-quality steel sword and 517 Experience. Your share of this is 2 silver, 80 copper, and 130 Experience.
He expected to find a drunk Miller chatting with Ling, but instead, he saw an entirely different sight. There was a Leprechaun lying flat on his back in a pool of his own blood. His arms had been ripped off and carelessly thrown to the side, but it appeared as if someone had cauterized the wounds on his torso and sealed them closed to prevent him from bleeding to death.
“I wish you hadn’t left me here to watch that,” Ling said when she saw Lee coming towards her. “He . . . The Leprechaun left work early . . . likely to either report the incident to his higher-ups or find those guys from earlier and make sure it was done, and he came straight to this alley. Then Miller . . . Miller had fun.” Ling gestured to the body. “It wasn’t . . . pleasant.”
“Don’t blame me,” Miller said defensively. “It’s not my fault at all that this happened. I told him exactly what I’d do, and the idiot came straight t
o us. His death was inevitable.” Miller kicked the body with his toe as if proving his point. “The slimy, traitorous bastard couldn't even do us the dignity of trying to fight us face to face. What a coward.”
“Mmhmm . . . But how did he know to come here to follow up on the muscle?” Lee asked.
“I saw him speak with the guard at the door of the guild as he came out. The guard pointed in this direction, so he must have told him where we went or where his friends went,” Ling replied.
Lee glanced down at the body of the man who, per Miller’s threat, had been drowned to death by the blood that had drained of his once-twitching arms. He didn’t know how that would have worked, and he couldn’t even begin to imagine how horrible of a sight it must have been for Ling to watch.
“Yeah, and he could have definitely killed him in a quicker, cleaner way,” Ling said. “He didn’t have to be so gruesome about it.”
“I had to keep my word. If I don’t keep my word, then what good am I? If I promise something, I have to follow through,” Miller said.
“Yeah, honesty is important,” Amber agreed. It was ostensibly an agreement with Miller, but Lee knew that it was a dig at him more than an acknowledgment of Miller’s point.
“Well, our mission was a success,” Lee proclaimed, finally putting down the two barrels he was carrying. “We managed to raise 2,750 silver pieces for the town. I don’t think we can repeat the same trick again soon though. We may have talked several bar owners into overstocking on our stuff.”
“And this barrel tastes as good as the first two?” Miller asked, grabbing one of the casks.
Lee laughed. “Isn’t there only one way to find out? How ‘bout we go to the Hunter’s Guild now and crack it open?”
“Aren’t you worried about the guard at the front door? He obviously saw the people from earlier and now this Leprechaun all follow us into this alley,” Ling pressed. “He might cause trouble for us, and the bodies are tucked out of sight but not perfectly hidden.”
“That’s a fair point,” Lee agreed. “The way I see it, there are plenty of backdoors to shops around here. Everyone who followed us in might have left the alley through one of them. As for us and our leftovers, we’ve been walking in and out of this alleyway with beer barrels, right?”
“Yeah, and-- Oh.” Ling immediately picked up on what he wanted to do.
“Can you get us three or four more while we use the broken one for the first set of parts? I don’t know how many we’ll need, but it’s better to be on the safe side.”
“Yeah, I can do that.” Ling nodded once and vanished around the corner while Lee and Miller went to work chopping up the bodies so that they’d fit easily in the barrels. It was gruesome work, and no one but Miller seemed to be at ease with it, but it had to be done. He had hoped Amber would help, but she followed after Ling.
“Something seems to be bothering everyone today,” Lee noted, but it was also a question directed at Miller as he finished cutting an arm in two and tossed both parts into the semi-broken barrel.
Miller nodded. “Yeah.”
“You’re madder today than usual, aren’t you?” Lee asked. He clearly recalled how much more aggressive, angry, loud and argumentative Miller had been. Normally, he’d just agree to do what Lee asked of him. He’d argue sometimes that it wasn’t ‘right’ or ‘just,’ but he wouldn’t try to blatantly go against what Lee wanted or create a huge row over it.
“He’s not the only one that needs killing in this town,” Miller said, gesturing over to the body he had mutilated while Lee was gone.
“Ah.” Lee felt like he was starting to pick up on the source of Miller’s rage. “So, you’ve come to this town before then? Before we met?”
“You might say I’m familiar with some of the people--some of the types of people--that live here.” Miller’s voice might have seemed calm at first, but the way it just barely quaked and vibrated, the way he emphasized his syllables, made it clear that he was growing madder by the second.
“You’re not going to tell me, though, are you?” Lee asked, sensing that Miller’s use of vague answers was intentional.
“We have inventories. Why are you insisting on carrying stuff around all over the place?” Miller asked irritably.
“Because I still haven’t dropped off all of the supplies from our last trip, and my inventory is nearly full, so I thought carrying might be easier,” Lee replied.
“Mine’s not though. You could have just asked me. I can chop up these bodies and throw them in my inventory if you insist on hiding our good deeds like some sort of villainous serial killer. Ling has figured out how to use an inventory too, and so has Amber.”
“Yeah, I know they have.” He had seen them use theirs frequently, and Amber had watched him cycle the ingredients from his own only a short time ago.
“So, you’re trying to do it all yourself?” Miller asked. “You want to save the world alone? Take on all the danger by yourself? Do everything you can before asking someone else for a hand?” Miller was practically fuming now as he laid into Lee. “Is that why you sent my hard-working Paladins to level in some of the safest areas around Satterfield? And why you won’t let villagers leave the town unless they’re in pairs?”
I was only trying to figure out why you’re mad. What is with all the questions? Lee didn’t like where this was going, but he couldn’t not acknowledge the issue. “Yeah, kind of. Maybe I just don’t want people to get hurt because of me.”
“You think they want you to get hurt because of them?” Miller, for someone who often came off as an idiot, was being rather clever today. Lee never expected that he might lose an argument to the lumbering giant he often thought of as a friendly oaf, but he was rapidly running out of verbal space to maneuver.
“This is my mission. I’m the Herald,” Lee argued, leaning back against the wall after cutting up the second body. “The responsibility is mine.”
“It became theirs too the second they joined your cause. Let me tell you . . .” Miller paused what he was doing as well and gave Lee a hard, stern look. “You can try to be a hero, you can try to take on the world yourself and get revenge, get justice, bring order to a chaotic existence, but you’re going to wind up dead. Take it from someone who knows. Take it from someone who tried that route before.”
“Tried it before?” Lee didn’t know very much about Miller’s past, but he was beginning to get the idea that it might have something to do with why he was so mad. Lee had always suspected that something had happened that caused the Firbolg to show up late to the game--he had only been a level ahead of Lee the first time they met, and Lee knew that he only started several months after everyone else--but he had never asked. There must have been a reason Miller was so good with the spear when almost everyone else they ran into was more or less a novice. It was as if he was already as skilled as a journeyman or an adept with the spear from the moment they met.
“I don’t need to talk about it. I failed. I failed by trying to take on the world alone,” Miller said with a sigh.
“And you’re not doing it again right now? Shouldn't you be telling me what your troubles are if you have something you need help with? I’m always here for you,” Lee said. “Just let me know how I can help or who we have to kill. I trust you, and I trust that if you want someone dead, there is a good reason behind it.”
Miller raised an eyebrow curiously. “Without me even telling it to you?”
“I trust you,” Lee reaffirmed.
“But not enough to trust me with your problems?” Miller said accusingly, instantly switching the topic back to one where Lee was on defensive the first chance he got.
“I get it. You’ve made your point. You want to store these pieces in your inventory so that we can move along?”
“It’s fine now,” Miller answered. “Although, I’m still curious about what you’ve got in your inventory that’s eating up so much space.”
“Spare bacon, Books of Lee, some miscellaneous stuff I�
��m working on for the town.” There wasn’t anything that was a super-secret. It all just ate up space. The only thing that he was really hiding was the technology he was trying to port into this world. Without the ability to use electricity, as apparently that was against the rules of the game, he had been constantly racking his brain as to what he could ‘invent’ to reduce the amount of manpower needed to maintain towns like Satterfield. The less time people spent working their day-to-day job, the more time they could spend farming experience, combat skills and items from local mobs around the town. Right now, Miller’s Paladin Order of Lee numbered fewer than fifteen people. Even considering how tiny the town was, that number was still rather paltry. If Satterfield ever faced a real threat, there was no way they’d adequately be able to defend the place.
“I’ll be more than happy to hold all the bacon for you,” Miller volunteered.
Lee laughed, feeling the tension ease a bit. “I’m sure you would, but would I get it back?”
Miller’s own deep and hearty laugh echoed off the walls. “Depends when you asked for it back. Or how much beer I’ve had.”
“So, basically, if I give it to you to hold on to, I might as well consider it eaten by the end of the week?”
“Hey, don’t be that way. I’ll save you a plate no matter what. Can’t eat bacon alone.” Miller grinned, and Lee couldn't help but think that, if someone walked into the alleyway they were in, they’d be greeted by a rather horrid sight as they would find two men holding bloodied blades while chopping up bodies and laughing like mad men.
Once they were finished, they dropped off the corpse-filled barrels in a trash deposit and made their way back to the Hunter’s Guild where they ate and drank their fill for the rest of the night. Lee turned a few more drinks into beer with some of the leftover materials he had as a party trick, trying to work up a few more converts, but overall, they spent the time enjoying themselves at the end of a stressful day before retiring to their respective rooms. Amber didn’t say a word as she came back from a bath and crawled into the bed, and Lee crawled in next to her thinking the long day was finally over, even if it hadn’t been a full hour since the sun had set. It was as peaceful and mundane a night as any--until Ethan woke up Lee by sending pure waves of panic into his thoughts.
