“I think you guys should let me go in alone,” Gill said.
“What? Hell no.” Drew shook his head firmly. “We all go.”
It actually sounded like a good plan to me, and I was about to say as much to Drew when Gillian interrupted me. No surprise there.
“Why? It’s not like there’s anything dangerous in there. Just a bunch of men who--” she unbuttoned the top two buttons on her fitted button-down shirt--“who would be more easily persuaded by a woman.”
“Gill!” Drew exclaimed.
I glanced from Gillian to him. His eyes were bugging. I didn’t know why he was so horrified. Gillian was a very capable girl.
“What? Don’t you agree with me, Clay?”
She narrowed her eyes at me, and it was crystal-clear that I’d better agree with her in this instance.
“Yes,” I said quickly. “We’ll be right out here if you need us.”
“Dude!” Drew gasped, looking scandalized.
“She’ll be fine, Drew.”
He leaned against the car, crossing his arms in front of his chest. He shook his head of shaggy brown hair agitatedly.
“Five minutes, that’s all you get. Then I’m coming in after you,” he told her.
“Fine. That’s all I need.” She turned and walked confidently up the sidewalk to the glass double doors, her heels clicking on the concrete as she went.
Drew glared at me the entire time we waited, which was approximately five minutes and thirty-eight seconds. When Gillian appeared again, he breathed a sigh of visible relief.
“What’s your deal?” I asked him curiously. It was no secret the two didn’t get along. Like, at all.
“It’s nothing,” he muttered.
Gillian approached the passenger side of the car, holding an index card.
“What’s that?” I asked her as she opened her door.
“Address,” she answered smugly.
I hopped in the car, and we were off again as she plugged the address into her GPS app.
When we pulled up to the complex, I sat back and breathed deeply.
“This is it,” I said low and determined. “This is Paige. She’s here. I’m going to be able to talk to her. Finally.”
“Well, what are you waiting for?” Gillian screeched.
I got out of the car, with Gill and Drew close on my heels.
The entire walk up to the second floor to the apartment where Paige had been staying for the past month, my thoughts were swirling hazily in my brain.
Would she shut the door in my face? Would she listen to me? Who was this Beau to her now? A month was a long time, and Paige was hurt. What if he had taken my place? He wanted to. I didn’t even know the guy, and I knew that much. You couldn’t spend time around Paige and not want her. She was utterly loveable. And terror washed through me as I approached the door to knock.
I raised my fist when the adjacent door suddenly opened and a woman in her thirties walked out, scrolling through a cell phone screen.
“Hello,” she said cautiously, looking at the three of us. “Can I help you?”
“Uh,” I hedged. “We’re actually looking for the guy who lives in this apartment. Do you know him?”
“Beau? Yeah I know him. Nice guy. Why you looking for him?”
Gillian piped up. “Because my friend has been staying here with him and we need to talk to her. I went to high school with Beau.”
The woman visibly relaxed at Gillian’s admission. Her shoulders, which were previously tense, lowered and her eyes softened.
“Oh, okay,” she said. “Well, Beau’s off on Mondays, but I’ll tell you right now they aren’t here. Beau didn’t say anything before they left, but I saw him loading the girl’s suitcase into his truck before they pulled out.”
My heart clenched in my chest, and I stared at the woman.
“What do you mean, he loaded up her suitcase? Where the hell were they going?”
“No clue,” the woman answered, shaking her head. “A trip, maybe? I doubt it, though. Beau’s pretty serious about his job. I doubt he’d just take off. So maybe he was just taking the girl back to where she lives?”
My heart took flight. Could that be true? Could Paige have gone home?
I was sprinting for the SUV before Gillian and Drew could catch up to my thoughts. I heard them thanking the woman and then they were behind me, climbing into the car that I was already sitting in.
“She went home,” I said, thinking furiously. “She came back to me on her own.”
“Drive!” Gillian shouted, pounding the dashboard with her tiny fist.
She didn’t have to tell me twice.
Five
Paige
Beau and I sat on the couch, the silence stretching like an enormous rubber band between us. Gillian wasn’t home, and when I went and retrieved my cell phone from my bedroom to call her, her phone was turned off. So we’d sat down on the couch to wait, and to think.
“What if she hates me?” I asked Beau, chewing my bottom lip.
“Not possible,” he answered immediately. “It’s not possible, Paige. I mean, she’s Gillian, so she’s gonna chew you out when she sees you. But then she’s gonna hug the crap out of you and cry like a daggum faucet. Then she’ll probably yell at you some more.”
I smiled at how well he knew Gillian. How well he knew me.
“You’re one of those people it’s impossible to be mad at,” Beau sighed. “Trust me, I know. I wanted to hate you when you pushed me out of that hospital room after the fire. But I couldn’t. No matter how hard I tried. No matter how many bottles I stared into the bottom of. I just couldn’t do it. You’re too easy to love, and you imprint yourself on someone’s soul, like a tattoo. I may as well have gotten an actual tattoo of your name, because you’re scratched into me for the rest of my life.”
“Beau,” I exhaled the word.
Why hadn’t I realized the depth of his feelings back then, when we actually had a chance? Now, I didn’t know if I would ever get the pieces of my heart back from Clay Forbes. I knew there wasn’t a chance with Beau anymore.
“That’s why I’m sitting here with this pit of fear in the bottom of my stomach. Because when you see him again, things won’t have changed for him. I hate him so fucking much for hurting you, but I know in my heart, as a guy, that he just made a mistake. No way could he have stopped loving you for someone else. It just isn’t a possibility.”
He stared down at his clasped hands. His voice had grown softer with his last words, and I sucked in a breath. He hadn’t said that to me before, that he thought Clay had merely made a mistake.
“You think he still loves me?”
He looked at me patiently. “You really have no idea what you do to people, do you?”
My brow furrowed. I didn’t have time to mull over his statement because there was a soft knock on the door.
I looked questioningly at Beau. “Gill wouldn’t knock.”
He shrugged. “You want me to get it?”
“No,” I said, standing. “I need to get used to opening the door again in my own apartment.”
He nodded and watched me while I took the three steps from the couch to the front door.
When I flung it open, Tima stared at me from the step.
“Paige?” she gasped. “Oh, my God. You’re home!”
She threw herself into my arms, her dark curls trembling around her head in a wild frenzy while she squeezed me. She pulled back, staring at my face and keeping a hold of my shoulders. Her dark brown eyes narrowed, and her exotic features took on a stern expression.
“Where have you been?”
“I’ve been hanging out in Haygood, just trying to clear my head a little. I was always going to come back, Tima.”
She shook her head slowly. “You have no idea what your leaving did to everyone. We knew why you left but…we love you so much, Paige. I mean I’ve only known you one semester and you’re already one of my best friends. I missed the hell out of you, gi
rl.”
I hugged her again. “I missed you, too.”
Beau stood up, and Tima noticed him for the first time. Her eyes grew large.
He came around the coffee table to shake her hand.
“I’m Beau, Paige’s uh, friend. She’s been staying with me this month while she got it together. It’s nice to meet you.”
She shook his hand, her eyes still as big as gold dollars. When she looked at me again, her expression was a little dazed. I smiled knowingly. Beau could do that to a girl.
“Oh, you’re gonna have some explaining to do,” she said plainly.
I laughed. “And I plan on it. Don’t worry.”
Tima’s eyes darted around the apartment. “Where’s Gill?”
“That’s what I was hoping to ask you. You haven’t seen her?”
“Oh, crap.” She smacked a palm dramatically against her forehead.
“What?” I asked, worried.
“I forgot! Seeing you open the door…that’s why I came here in the first place! She, Clay, and Drew went to Haygood to look for you.”
“What?” My mouth dropped open. “But how’d they know I was there?”
“We were all talking on campus this afternoon, and Gillian just kind of figured out that you must be with Beau. So she tracked him down and Clay took off like a crazy person after you. Gillian and Drew were barely able to get in his car before he tore out of the lot.”
I sank back down on the couch. I knew I’d better call him. I didn’t want them driving all around that town looking for me when I was right here. Safe and sound.
I sighed, pulling out my phone.
I pulled Clay’s name up in my contacts, and pressed SEND. My stomach was tying itself into a nice big bow, the muscles in my gut clenching into tight fists as I waited. It rang once, and then an incredulous voice drifted over the line.
“Paige?”
“Yeah, Clay. It’s me.”
Silence. There was no sound in the background but the accelerating engine of a car.
“Clay? I’m at home. You guys don’t need to search around Haygood anymore. You can just come home. I’ll be waiting for y’all.”
“Are you okay?”
I almost didn’t recognize his voice. It was as if he were hanging on by a thread; his voice was thin and hollow. It was flat and reedy, but there was a spark of…something. Hope, maybe. Clay’s voice was usually velvety smooth, calm and deep. This was like the Anti-Clay.
“I’m okay. I’ll just be here waiting for you guys.”
“Okay, Paige. We’ll be there soon.” He hung up.
I dropped down on the couch and let my warring emotions wash over me. I hadn’t heard Clay’s voice in a month, and it wasn’t at all like I remembered. Maybe Beau was wrong, and he really didn’t love me anymore. And if he did, I wasn’t even sure if it mattered. Because I knew I wasn’t going to be able to move past what he’d done with Hannah.
Tima reached out from where she perched across from me on the coffee table and squeezed my leg.
“He missed you.” She glanced at Beau with uncertainty. “He hasn’t been himself since you left. Part of that could be because he’s being accused of murder. But most of it is the loss of you.”
“Oh, my God,” I said suddenly, slapping my hands to my cheeks. “I forgot. The case…Hannah! How’s he handling it?”
“Honestly, Paige, I don’t think he is handling it. He’s been trying to handle losing you. So he hasn’t been focusing on his defense at all.”
I sank back into the cushions, covering my face with my hands. “How selfish could I be? He shouldn’t have been worrying about me when he’s been accused of murder, for God’s sake. He didn’t do it, Tima.”
“I know,” she said softly. “All of us who know Clay know he’s not a killer.”
“So why aren’t the police looking for the person who really killed her?”
Tima ticked off reasons on long, graceful fingers.
“Because they know Clay was in her apartment that night. Because he’s her ex-boyfriend. Because everyone on campus has seen them fighting lately.”
Beau let out a low whistle. “Damn. The dude’s in serious horse shit.”
“Yeah, he is,” agreed Tima. “But if anyone can handle that kind of horse shit, it’s Clay and his family.”
“What do you mean by that?” I asked her curiously.
She stared at me. “You don’t know?”
“Oh, right. The governor thing,” I sighed.
“Exactly. So he’s got the best defense attorney that money can buy.”
Beau stood. “You girls hungry? It’s going to be a long night. Why don’t I go grab some pizzas?”
I smiled at him gratefully. “Yes, that’d be great, Beau. Thank you.”
He bent down and kissed the top of my head. “I’ll be back soon, beautiful. Dial my number if you need anything.”
I nodded, and he stuck his hands in his pockets and walked out the front door.
Tima stared after him for a moment, and then she turned around and slapped my leg.
“Ouch!”
“Girl,” she hissed. “That’s the hottest cowboy I’ve ever seen in my freaking life. And I don’t even like country boys! What is up? I know you can’t have moved on from Clay that quickly.”
I shook my head. “It’s not like that with Beau. We were high school sweethearts.”
Tima continued to stare. “So...what you mean is, it’s exactly like that with Beau.”
“No. No! He was the only one I could call to help me when I needed to…to leave. So he came and picked me up and took me to his place in Haygood so I could hide out. I slept in his bed--”I shook my head at her sharp intake of breath--“while he took the couch. He’s just been there for me, a really great friend while I mucked through all of this mess.”
She just kept right on staring.
“I just couldn’t go through the whole thing with Hannah, Tima,” I pleaded, folding my hands in my lap. “I couldn’t. I went through the death stuff when my family died and I couldn’t experience the hideousness of it all again. I had no idea that Clay would be accused. I had just seen him naked in her bed that night and I…I lost it. I’m sorry I left you guys like that.”
She reached out and grabbed my hands. “I don’t need an apology, Paige. No one will. I’m just beyond ecstatic to see you. Promise me something, though.”
“What?”
“Promise me you’ll listen to Clay with an open mind and an open heart when he gets here. I don’t know what happened between you and Beau--”
“Nothing happened!” I interjected quickly.
“I know nothing happened physically, but the way that boy looks at you is unmistakable. And you are completely at ease with him. It doesn’t seem like you guys ever…I don’t know, stopped dating.”
“What?” I gasped at her assessment of Beau and I.
“Yep,” she said firmly. “It looks like that. But I know what it was like with you and Clay when things were good. And I don’t know another couple that is as in tune with each other as you two. Listen to Clay, okay? He needs a chance to explain things.”
I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. “Do you know what he’s going to say?”
“Yeah, I do,” she nodded. “And you’re going to want to hear it.”
Clay
A forty-five minute drive should not feel like five hours. It shouldn’t. But this one did. No matter how fast I drove, I couldn’t seem to get to Paige any more quickly.
She was home. What did it mean for us? Was she just home, back in school, back as Gillian’s roommate? Or had she come back home to me?
I tried not to jump ahead of myself. First of all, she still thought I had slept with Hannah. I could fix that. It was all explainable. Second of all, she hadn’t come alone.
She’d brought him.
I swear to God, if he touched her in front of me I’d smash his face until he bled. Paige was mine. He’d had his chance with her, and he’d lost i
t. Of course now, he may be saying the same thing about me.
When we pulled up to the apartment, Gillian jumped out and ran toward the door. I stared after her, unsure of how she could sprint that fast in heels that high.
“Dude,” Drew said quietly from the backseat. “I know exactly what you’re thinking. You are not going to punch this guy in the face, okay? That isn’t going to win you any points with Paige tonight. So go ahead and calm yourself down before we go in there.”
I smirked at Drew. “When did you get so smart? That’s Rob’s job.”
He sighed. “When you went and fell in love. Now you’re totally irrational, and it takes both of us to wrangle your whipped ass.”
I laughed, for the first time in a month.
“Can I go in and see my girl now?”
“I don’t know,” he said doubtfully. “Do you have it together?”
“Nope,” I said. “Not until I have her back with me.”
“Okay,” he said, reaching for his door handle. “Let’s go.”
I tried to shake the tension out of my hands out as we walked up to the door. It was wide open, and Gillian was locked in an embrace with Paige.
“Don’t you ever, ever do this to me again! Ever! I can’t survive in this world without you, Paige. You’re my other half!” Gillian wailed.
“I second that,” I said softly, leaning against the doorjamb.
And when she turned to face me, my world, which had been upside down and inside out for the last month, suddenly righted itself again. All of the fear swirling around inside of me, all of the uncertainty about my future…all of the sadness locked inside my heart at the loss of her, all of the worry that ate me up every night when I closed my eyes… it was all just…gone.
“Paige,” I sighed.
The guarded look in her eyes was what I expected, so it didn’t break me. I had things I needed to explain, and once I did, that would all change.
I walked toward her like a fish on the end of a line, oblivious of the other eyes in the room locked on us.
Tima cleared her throat. “Um, Gill? Let’s go to your room for a minute. I want to borrow that necklace.”
“What necklace?” Gillian snapped, glaring at her.
“Shut up and come with me,” Tima said firmly, grabbing Gill’s arm and guiding her to her room.
Settling Ashes: A New Adult/College Romance (The Ashes Series Book 2) Page 4
