Settling Ashes: A New Adult/College Romance (The Ashes Series Book 2)

by Gardin, Diana

  She studied me. “I don’t think you know how vital you are to my survival. Now that I have someone like you in my corner, I don’t ever want to lose it. You know that, right?”

  I nodded, toying with the hem of her shirt as she straddled my lap on the couch.

  She lifted my chin. “Clay. Tell me what you’re ‘thinking and wondering about. I’ve seen it; I’ve just been too much in my own world to ask about it. I’m ready now.”

  I met her eyes and felt the question toss itself around in my mind, trying to find the right way to come out.

  “Beau,” I began. “He was important to you. He helped you when…when I let you down. He loved you for a long time, and you knew that. I know that you loved him, too. Now that he’s gone…do you wish…do you wish…”

  Her quick intake of breath startled me, and my hands tightened on her back.

  “Clay, are you asking me if I wish it had been you instead of him?”

  The enormity of the question hit me like a brick wall, and I wished I could take it back. It was too big, too profound a question to be asking her while she was still grieving. And I knew I didn’t really want to know the answer.

  I shook my head quickly. “Never mind, baby. Let’s change the subject.”

  She shook her head slowly, never taking her eyes from mine.

  “I did love Beau. I loved him for the unconditional love he gave me, even when I forced him to leave me back in high school. But Clay, I’m in love with you. You’re my present and my future. Beau knew that; he didn’t like it but he knew it. And he died for me anyway. I can never, ever comprehend that, and it blows my mind in a way that takes me far away sometimes, wondering about it.

  “But you…you are my everything. From this moment on, I promise never to make you question that again. The fact that I am blessed enough to be sitting here with your arms around me, safe and warm…the miracle of that isn’t lost on me. Because I could have lost you that night, too.”

  Her voice broke on the final word, and I crushed her to me. Maybe I’d been scared to hear the answer, but I was damn sure glad she gave it.

  “Clay,” she sighed, her lips finding mine. “I love you. I need you. Now and forever…and ever.”

  My hands ran up her spine, making her shiver. She was mine, and she was back. I could feel her, all of her, here with me again. Maybe she’d come to the end of her grieving period. And I was so grateful to have her here with me again.

  I kissed her tenderly, wanting to taste every inch of her, missing her scent and her flavor.

  “God, baby, you’re it for me. I can’t wait until the day I can promise that fact to you in front of everyone.”

  I pulled her shirt up over her head and bent my head to nip at the sweet skin of her shoulder. She tensed and moaned in my arms, and the sound fueled me like gasoline to a raging fire.

  In once swoop, I lifted her into my arms and carried her down the hall to my bed, laying her gently down, never breaking the contact our lips shared. I was fused to her.

  I lowered myself over her, and I held myself up on my forearms above her as I took a minute to pull away and feast on her eyes. I silently asked her if she was okay enough for this, and she just as silently answered in the affirmative. Speaking without words; something I never thought I’d be able to do with a woman.

  So I continued to undress her, while she used her eyes to plead with me to hurry.

  She lay there on my bed, totally vulnerable, and I marveled over the beauty that was Paige Hill for the hundredth, no the millionth, time. She was stunning, the kind of girl that stopped men in their tracks so they could stare. And she was mine.

  I lowered myself onto my elbow and turned to my side, my fingers gently drifting across her stomach and over her ribcage. She shivered under my hand, and my rock-hard arousal flinched in anticipation.

  I bent my head to her body and devoured her skin, every inch of it, showing her piece by piece how lucky I thought I was, and how sweetly delicious I thought she was. I left little hotspots along her skin, and with every whimper of pleasure I elicited from her, I knew I would never get enough.

  Finally, when I plunged into her for the first time since she was kidnapped, we both cried out from the sheer ecstasy our bodies’ fusion created.

  This woman was my equal partner in every single sense of the words, and I would never let her forget it. Not for the rest of our lives.

  I wanted to take it slow and languid, because I knew we were together now and had all the time in the word. My body, however, had other ideas. With only a few thrusts from me, she crested over the hill of heavenly gratification, and she pulled me right along with her. I groaned as I rode the wave, and pulled her closer to me as she whispered my name on the tail of a breath.

  And then I buried my face in her neck, breathing her in and holding her tight.

  “I missed that,” she whispered. “There was a moment where I thought I’d never have it again. Thank you, Clay. You came for me. Again.”

  “Always, baby,” I said softly. “Try not to get away from me again, though, alright?”

  She smiled teasingly. “Okay. But I want to get up and make you some dinner.”

  “No,” I growled, tasting her neck. “We’ll order in.”

  She giggled, and I rolled over. I kept my arms around her and she tangled her legs with mine.

  We talked softly until we heard the front door open and close. Drew was home, and from the sound of it he had a giggling conquest with him.

  “Good to know Drew hasn’t slowed down any,” Paige remarked with a roll of her eyes.

  “Yeah,” I said thoughtfully. “I don’t know. I think he’s actually been bringing the same girl here. I’ve gotten used to that particular giggle.”

  Her mouth dropped. “Seriously? Why’s he hiding her?”

  I rose and climbed over her to stand. “I don’t know. Want to find out?”

  Paige

  Clay and I were like stealthy spies, creeping down the hallway until we arrived at Drew’s door. I looked at him when we were standing just outside it, and he covered my mouth with his hand to smother my inevitable giggle.

  “Ready?” he mouthed.

  I nodded.

  He knocked on the door. “Drew! You in there?”

  “No,” was Drew’s muffled reply. I giggled again.

  “Get out here, man,” Clay insisted. “We need to talk dinner plans. Paige is buying.”

  That got Drew’s attention. He should have been thinking with his head instead of his stomach, and then he would have known Clay would never let me pay for dinner.

  I backed into the dark bathroom across the hall.

  Drew opened the door and peeked out.

  “Where is she?” he asked.

  “Getting dressed,” Clay said nonchalantly. “Come on and look at a menu real quick.”

  Drew slid out of his door and closed it behind him. They headed down the hall to the kitchen. Clay tossed a “you’re up” glance over his shoulder, which was my cue.

  Here we go, I thought. I tiptoed across the hallway and flung Drew’s door open wide.

  The girl laying back on her elbows atop Drew’s bed, still fully clothed, thank God, had chestnut brown waves falling gently past her shoulders and a killer set of heels on her feet.

  “Gillian?” I squealed. “What the—“

  She let her head drop back. “Oh, crap. Busted.”

  I just stared at her, open mouthed. When I pulled myself together, I jerked a thumb toward the door.

  “Living room. Now.”

  I turned on my heel and marched out of the room and down the hallway.

  Clay took one look at me and raised his brows. He and Drew were leaning over a bunch of take-out menus spread out on the kitchen counter.

  “Oh yeah,” I told him. “They’ve got some ‘splaining to do.”

  Clay looked at Drew, and Drew glanced at me. Then he glanced behind me at Gillian, who shuffled slowly into the room.

  Clay roa
red. “No way!”

  I folded my arms and went to stand in front of him.

  “How long?” I asked them both.

  Gillian went to stand tentatively next to Drew, who continued to amaze me as he placed a protective arm around her shoulders.

  “Dude,” Clay said, grinning. “This is going down in history as the best-kept secret in of all time.”

  “I thought you hated Drew!” I exploded. “You’re always so disgusted with how he eats. You think he says stupid things—“

  “Hey!” Drew protested.

  “Sorry, Drew,” I said. “But I’m confused, here.”

  “Yeah,” Clay chimed in. “I thought you considered Gillian the biggest snob on campus.”

  “Hey!” Gillian shouted angrily.

  Clay shrugged, but not apologetically. This was their doing. They needed to dig themselves out of it.

  “Look,” Gillian sighed, scooting away from Drew to go sit on the couch. “We didn’t tell you because we thought it was going to be a one time thing. There was one drunken night after Matchstick’s. Drew had totally protected me from this sloshed ogre of a guy pawing all over me at the bar.”

  Realization dawned on Clay’s face. “I remember that night! I wondered why you were being so protective.”

  “Yeah,” Drew said sheepishly. “I drove her home that night.”

  “And I swear, Paige,” Gillian continued. “I thought it was a total drunk mishap. But then…it happened again. And again.”

  “Eeewwww,” Paige protested.

  “Well,” Gillian said indignantly, folding her arms across her chest. “You asked.”

  “And,” Drew cut in. “We realized…”

  He crossed the room and sat next to Gill on the couch. He pulled her into his lap, which was so cute my jaw fell to the floor again.

  “We realized it was more than just a fling.”

  He kissed her temple softly, and I began to feel faint. I looked at Clay, and he was staring at the couple with a bewildered expression.

  “So why didn’t you just tell everyone?” he asked.

  “Because I didn’t want you all to look at us like you’re looking at us right now!” Gillian shot back defensively.

  I sighed, going over and sitting on the coffee table across from them. I grabbed Gillian’s hands.

  “I’m so happy for you, Gill,” I said sincerely. “I think it’s amazing. And—“

  I looked at Drew and smiled. “You couldn’t have picked a better guy.”

  She looked at Drew and rolled her eyes in typical Gillian fashion. “I know. He’s pretty fantastic. I guess.”

  Drew smiled happily. Clay came over to pound his outstretched fist. “Congrats, man. I’m happy for you guys.”

  Drew’s expression turned serious. “Now, we were talking about dinner. I’m starving.”

  Gillian punched him in the arm.

  I smiled over at Clay and realized that everything was exactly as it should be. We were all going to be okay. Everyone was going to get to be happy. I could relax into it, appreciate it for what it was.

  The shiny new beginning to a wonderful life.

  Epilogue-Six Months Later

  Clay

  “Where are you taking me?” asked Paige, narrowing her eyes in suspicion.

  It was warm again, finally. I thought that particular winter would never end. It was bittersweet. It was the first winter Paige and I had spent together; meaning the first Thanksgiving, first Christmas, first New Year’s celebration we had rung in as a couple. But we had been through so much this year. Most days I wished it had all been easier.

  But then, Paige and I wouldn’t be the couple we were. And the couple we were was completely unbreakable.

  “Don’t be so nosy,” I told her. “Shit. Attempting to surprise you is damn near impossible, woman.”

  She leaned over the console and nipped at my ear, and the steering wheel lurched slightly to the left.

  “Hey,” I said softly. “One car accident is enough for one lifetime, okay? Take it easy. You’re going to want to do that later, anyway.”

  She leaned back into her seat, smiling. “Oh really? Confident, are we?”

  I laughed at the fake pout she was sporting, turning the wheel to maneuver the Land Rover smoothly into the parking lot of the campus bookstore.

  “Really, Clay?” she asked doubtfully. “You’re supposed to be taking me to this surprise dinner, and we’re stopping at the campus bookstore?”

  I grinned at her. She was so oblivious, and I relished it. She had no idea the night I had planned for her. She deserved everything she was going to get tonight, and so much more.

  Paige had been my rock this year. After the holidays, we returned to school from spending the break in Ohio with my family. She was nervous and thrilled about staying in the governor’s mansion, and she and my sisters had bonded in a way that almost brought me to tears. She was amazing and everyone knew it. Even my mother had begun to go easier on her, after a serious sit-down chat with me.

  When we returned to Rutherford, I had to buckle down and focus so that I could graduate with honors. She’d been by my side, helping me study, editing my papers, whatever I needed. She was the stability my life had been lacking before I met her, and the fact that she stood by me when I needed her most told me everything I ever needed to know.

  Paige Hill was it for me.

  I parked the car and leaned into her. “I’m ready for that kiss now.”

  “Yeah?” she said, leaning in close.

  Then she reached out a hand and put a finger to my lips.

  “Well, I’m ready to see what you have up your sleeve,” she said playfully.

  “Ah!” I said, laughing. “Damn. Alright, then.”

  I climbed out and walked around to her side of the car. I loved how she waited for me to open her door. She let me be the gentleman I never knew I was until I had a reason.

  I held out my hand for her to grasp, which she did with a tentative smile, and we walked together inside the bookstore.

  “They’re closing, babe,” she whispered as she watched the cashier count out money on the counter.

  “I know,” I said back in a stage whisper. “But we’re not here to buy books.”

  I led her to the elevator. The bookstore was the tallest building on campus. The bottom two floors were occupied by the actual bookstore, and the remaining thirteen floors were occupied by a faculty housing department. We were headed for the roof.

  The numbers ticked by on the lighted digital display in the elevator. I rubbed my hands on my jeans. Anxiety was beginning to build in my gut, and I glanced at Paige. She was watching me apprehensively, biting her bottom lip. When she caught me staring, she broke into a sunny smile that I couldn’t help but return. Everything about her was still contagious. Would that ever change between us?

  No. I knew, without a doubt, that it wouldn’t.

  “Clay,” she said. “I’ve never been this high up in this building before. What’s up here?”

  “Faculty housing,” I answered as the elevator dinged.

  I smiled down at her, taking her hand. I licked my lips when I noted the patch of skin peeking out from below the top she was wearing. I’d opted to tell her to dress casually, so she wouldn’t be too suspicious. Casual for Paige meant a short denim skirt and a flowing blouse that hitched up in the front, exposing the smooth skin of her stomach.

  Damn it, I hoped I could get through tonight without tackling her.

  I grabbed her hand and pulled her to the door at the end of the hallway on the fifteenth floor. I held my breath as I held the door open so she could step through it.

  Paige

  I walked onto the roof in Rutherford and came out on the other side in Wonderland.

  My breath hitched in my throat as I glanced around me in wonder. Clay told me this place was where some of the faculty lived, and it was evident on this roof deck that this was a place people loved to lounge and relax. There was greenery galore; p
lants overflowing from large clay pots and a few hanging from planters on tall iron poles around the space.

  The entire place was adorned with tiny white twinkling lights; small round bulbs of romantic aura that set the stage for a night I would never forget. The brick walls were covered with framed photos of Clay and I. Some of them were pictures of the two of us; some were pictures of us with our friends on various nights during this past year. I walked around the place like a gallery, marveling at the shots that had been captured. Some of them I recognized, but some photos were taken when I hadn’t even realized there was a camera present. When I arrived at a cluster of photos on the outskirts of the third wall, I froze.

  Encased in those frames were pictures of my family. The smiling faces of my mother, my father, and my brother stared out at me, and a sob escaped my throat as I stared back. Then my eyes slid right and found the picture of Beau and I at a junior dance from high school, and another one of he and I and Gillian laughing merrily on the playground when we were ten. I covered my mouth with both hands.

  Clay’s arms encircled me from behind, and I felt his warm breath tickle my ear as he spoke.

  “Don’t cry, baby. I hope this is okay. I wanted them to be with us tonight.”

  I leaned into him, taking a halting breath as I used his solid body for support.

  “I’m not crying because I’m sad,” I gasped. “This is amazing. How did you…?”

  “Gillian helped me,” he whispered. “Are you okay?”

  I turned in his arms and smiled at him. “I’m perfect. You really have made this a special night. You’re…I don’t know how to thank you for getting these and framing them all. We have enough to cover the walls of an entire house!”

  “That’s the idea,” he muttered. “Close your eyes.”

  I quirked a quizzical brow, but did as he asked. He grabbed my shoulders and walked me toward where I knew the roof edge lay behind a waist-high wall. We walked a few feet, and when we stopped he moved his hands down to circle my waist, a spot I knew he loved to rest them.

  “Open them,” he ordered.

  We were staring at the most beautiful view I’d ever seen. I gasped, unable to help myself. The entire campus was laid out before us, close enough to pick out what everything was, but not so far that everything was blurry and distant. The mountains in the distance were black shadows on top of an even inkier sky. The expanse was dotted with bright shining stars.