by Syd Parker
Nicky chuckled out loud. “Ma, that’s your sister.”
Maria already turned her attention back to her roasted potatoes. Her only answer was a loud snort.
Lex rolled her eyes. “Seriously, Nicky. How are you still living here?”
Nicky snuck a look in his mother’s direction before replying. “Just a few more months. Once I graduate, I’m moving out and getting a place with one of the guys from the Academy.”
“Are you serious?” Lex’s loud reply reverberated around them. A sheepish look spread over her features, but a glance at her mother, and she knew that there was a definite benefit to her mother getting old. She couldn’t hear a thing. She leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially. “You’re really moving out? Ma will have a fit.”
“I know.” Nicky’s face broke into a wide grin. “I figured I’d break it to her today.”
“What are you three whispering about?” Maria set a plate of feta cheese slices covered with oregano and drizzled with olive oil between them. She ruffled Nicky’s hair. “Look at my Nicky. He’s going to be a cop. He does just like his big sister and abandons his poppa to run the business by himself. Thank goodness your cousin Peter has a head for numbers. Perhaps, he will give his momma grandbabies, since you two won’t take pity on your mother.”
“Ma, seriously.” Lex let out an exasperated breath. It had been five years since she and Aspen had lost the baby, and she could tell by the pained expression in Aspen’s eyes that she didn’t need the reminder. She would have gladly given Lex’s mom grandchildren. It didn’t work out that way and Lex felt the need to protect her still. She found Aspen’s hand underneath the table and squeezed it. “I’m sorry.”
Aspen squeezed her hand back then released it just as quickly. She shook her head to let Lex know she was okay.
“Aspen, you are coming for Nicky’s graduation.” It was more a statement then a question. To Maria, she was still part of the family no matter what had happened. It was just expected that she would be there.
“Ahh…I don’t think that Cass…well what I mean…” Aspen pleaded with Lex to save her.
“She can’t, Ma.” Lex interjected. “A’s getting ready for a show.”
Disappointment flashed briefly in Maria’s eyes. “Nonsense. You will come. The whole family is going to be there.” She squeezed Nicky’s chin and shook his head around. “Don’t you want to see our Nicky graduate?”
Aspen’s face reddened, and she could see from Lex and Nicky’s expressions that there was no deterring Maria now that she had made up her mind. She opened her mouth to reply when bells started ringing through the house. Saved by the bell.
Lex watched her mother’s retreating figure for several seconds before smiling apologetically. “I’m sorry.”
Aspen shook her head. “It’s okay. I probably shouldn’t have come. It’s weird for me to be here. I think your mom forgot you are with Cass, and we aren’t together anymore.”
A pained expression flashed in Lex’s eyes before she forced herself to smile. “She never wanted anyone else for me. She always thought you were perfect. She never really got over us breaking up.”
Aspen winced. She had never really gotten over them breaking up. Perhaps she shouldn’t have come today. It was all too much. They were no misconceptions that they were together. Cass and Lex never spent Thanksgiving with each other, so it was no surprise she wasn’t here. But, Aspen’s presence probably came as a bit of a shock. She hoped Maria wasn’t actually under the impression they were getting back together. “Your mom knows we are getting a divorce, doesn’t she?”
Lex colored. “I, uhhh…”
“Lex!” Aspen’s mouth dropped open. “You didn’t tell her?”
“I couldn’t.” Lex smiled sheepishly. “She still thinks we will get back together.”
Aspen threw up her hands. “You better tell her.”
“I will.”
“When?” Aspen countered. “God, this is going to be an awkward lunch. You probably didn’t even tell her that we weren’t back together. You were just going to show up with me and let her believe what she wanted.”
The guilt was evident in Lex’s eyes. She didn't set her mother straight. The conversation was a bit one—sided anyway. When she had called Maria to let her know that she was bringing Aspen home for the holiday, Maria had been overjoyed. She had even gone so far as to say what her real opinion of Cass was. At the time, Lex knew she should have corrected her, but she didn’t. Choosing instead to play make believe for a day. One look in Aspen’s eyes and she suddenly knew that was a bad idea. “A, I’m sorry. I’ll talk to mom. For now, can you just let it go? I don’t want to mess today up. You know how she gets.”
Aspen sighed wearily. “Yes, I know.” Maria was an outspoken Greek woman, and Lex had no desire to set her mother off today. “You promise you will talk to her?”
“Yes.”
“Thank you.” Aspen felt her heartbeat return to normal. It was one thing to play house with Lex, but to have her family believe that they were back together was unacceptable. For the time being, though, she would play along. She didn’t feel like being the one that broke Maria’s heart today. Pulling away from Lex’s penetrating gaze, she punched Nicky in the arm. “So Nick, you have a girlfriend for real, don’t you?”
Nicky’s face reddened. “Yeah, I do.”
“Don’t want to introduce her to the family yet, huh?” Aspen winked.
“No.” Nicky’s eyes widened at the thought. “I really like this one and there is no way I’m letting Ma get to her yet.”
Lex leaned forward and joined in. “Smart move. You know Ma would have her upstairs trying on her old wedding dress.”
“Oh god!” Aspen chuckled softly, remembering the first Christmas at the Tataris house. She was forced to try on Maria’s dress and veil. It practically swallowed her. “Yeah, you may not want to bring her home until after you’re married.”
“Ha, Ma would kill you.” Lex warned.
“What Ma will kill you?” Maria walked back into the kitchen.
“Nothing, Ma.” Nicky grabbed a slice of feta and stuffed it in his mouth.
Maria swatted him on the back of the head. “Don’t nothing Ma me.” She regarded him with a stern expression.
“Nicky was just teasing that he was going to slice off a huge piece of turkey.” Lex said innocently.
“Ooh.” Maria smacked the back of his head. “I would kill you twice if you did that.”
Aspen snickered quietly. The exchange was reminiscent of so many holidays before.
“Your aunt Irene and your cousins are here. We will eat soon. You keep your hands off the turkey.” Maria scolded Nicky, but her eyes still sparkled. No matter what happened, Nicky was still her baby and there wasn’t much that he could do that would make Maria truly mad. “Take that to the table.”
Nicky shot Lex a grateful smile and grabbed the plate off the table. “I’m gonna see if Pop has the game on.”
“Lex, you can watch the game. I know you need to write about it later.”
“It’s okay. I DVR’d it, so I can catch up later.” Lex offered quickly. “Besides, it’s just the Thanksgiving game. It’s not that big a deal.”
“Go on.” Maria put her hands on her hips impatiently. “Wake your father up too.”
Lex started to reply, but her mother waved her off. “Go. I want to talk to Aspen alone.”
Lex shot Aspen a look as if to say I’m sorry, there is nothing I can do.
Aspen watched her walk away, praying that she could disappear. She wasn’t ready for the conversation that she knew was looming. She tried to stave it off by distracting Maria. “Do you need help with anything else?”
Maria waived her off with a smile. “Sit, sit. I want to look at your sweet face. I haven’t seen my girl in too long. Alexis should never have let you go.” She shrugged and settled herself beside Aspen with a sigh. “But she’s wised up and soon, maybe you will give me a grandchild.”
&
nbsp; Maria’s eyes were filled with such hope that Aspen prayed she couldn’t see her face pale. “Mmm…maybe.”
Maria studied Aspen’s face closely. There was something in her eyes that gave away what she was trying to hide. She squeezed Aspen’s hand. “Alexis thinks her momma isn’t so smart sometimes. But I know. I can see it in both your faces. You never could hide from me, Kopela Mou. I can see in your eyes that you and Alexis are not back together.”
Aspen swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded.
Maria squeezed her shoulder. “It’s okay, honey. I know in my heart that you are meant to be together. That much I am convinced of. Alexis, sometimes she gets scared, afraid she will let people down. I can tell she still loves you and if I’m not mistaken, you are still in love with her. No?”
Aspen blinked back tears and smiled wistfully. “That was such a long time ago, Maria. We are so different now.” Aspen’s heart ached just to say that. “Besides, it doesn’t matter. She’s with Cass now.”
Maria shook her head. “She’s just filling a void. All these years later, my Alexis is still in love with you. She can never really love anyone else like she loves you. She doesn’t need someone like you, she needs you. She will find her way back to you. A mother knows these things.”
“No.” Aspen admitted softly. “You might as well know the truth. She’s staying with me, so we can file for divorce. She’s marrying Cass.” Aspen could see how badly the words hurt Maria, and she felt horrible for saying them. After all, she had promised Lex that she wouldn’t say anything, but it hurt too much to see the hope in Maria’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Maria.”
“Don’t be.” Maria’s eyes twinkled behind her frown. “I can see you never really moved on. It’s just a matter of time.” She didn’t allow Aspen to respond. She cupped Aspen’s face in the palm of her hand and smiled. “There are some things that a mother just knows.”
Aspen watched Maria walk away and tried to push her words to the back of her mind. She didn’t want to think right now. Today, she just wanted to be happy. She took a deep breath and plastered a smile on her face. She would think again tomorrow.
Chapter 13
Aspen groaned loudly and shut the car door behind her. “I’m going to go take care of the girls.”
“Want help?” Lex shoved the keys in her pocket and started to follow Aspen to the barn.
“Nah, I’m okay. I’ll take care of that, if you want to get a fire going.” A cold wind blew around them, and Aspen shivered uncontrollably. She hesitated for a moment, nearly changing her mind then stopped. The look on Lex’s face was almost too much. The day was perfect, too perfect. Dinner at the Tataris house reminded her too much of being married. Her conversation with Maria had stirred up so many feelings from the past. Surrounded by all of Lex’s family, Aspen had allowed her mind to wonder and where her thoughts were headed was not somewhere she would allow herself to return. That was the past, and this was now. They were living with each other as a means to an end, a way for Lex to sever the last remaining tie that held them together. She needed to put some space between them before her mind started convincing her it was anything but business. “Hey, get Guinness some food, too.”
“Okay.” Lex watched her walk away, not sure how to take her refusal for help. It was almost as if Aspen couldn’t stand to be in her presence any longer. She had seen a cloud pass over her face, and wondered what had happened between dinner at her family’s and now that had caused the sadness in Aspen’s eyes. She almost walked into the barn after Aspen and made her take help. Instead, she shook her head and started toward the house. She stepped inside and looked around the house she had shared with Aspen for the last few months. It was warm and homey. Something she couldn’t say about the loft she shared with Cassidy. It had seemed alright before. Now, in her mind, it seemed sparse and unwelcome. It was so unlike the bunkhouse, which had quickly enveloped them and tucked them into a little fantasy world to which she was rapidly becoming attached.
Lex filled Guinness’s bowl and watched his little nose sniff excitedly then tear into the food with wild abandon. “Buddy, you don’t know how good you have it.” She scrubbed her hands over her face and let out a loud sigh. She knew Aspen would be joining her inside, and she wanted to have the fire built before she got down. She would be cold, and Lex knew she would need to warm up. Within minutes, the kindling took and a warm fire crackled in the fireplace. Pleased with the results, Lex stood up and stretched out her long legs. There were two other traditions that had evolved from their marriage. The second, and the one that her body ached for, was totally out of the question. The first was mostly harmless and Lex was pretty sure she could talk Aspen into repeating that one.
By the time Aspen joined her, Lex had already switched her jeans out for comfortable sweats with Red Sox emblazoned down the leg. She was sitting Indian style on the floor in front of the fireplace rubbing Guinness’s soft belly and listening to him growl in his sleep. She felt Aspen’s eyes burning into the back of her head before her eyes settled on the bottle of Citron vodka sitting on the floor in front of her. She met Aspen’s eyes and smiled. “I figured we could do one of our old Thanksgiving traditions.”
Aspen cocked an eyebrow, and a smile played in the corners of her mouth. “Oh, you did, did you? And, which of our traditions did you have in mind?”
Lex waggled her eyebrows suggestively, and Aspen could feel her face heating up. She shook her finger in Lex’s direction. “Uh—uh. I am pretty sure Mrs. Lex would have a problem with that one.”
“Hmm, maybe so.” Lex smiled cryptically then pointed down the hall. “Go change.”
“Aye, aye captain.” Aspen sent her a mock salute and giggled at the middle finger Lex shot in her direction.
“Women.” Lex muttered playfully to no one but herself. She was thirty-three and for the life of her, still hadn’t figured out all the wonderful intricacies of the fairer sex. It didn’t matter that she was one herself. That fact only made her understand more the many facets that made up half the world. She would probably go to her grave as confused as she was today. There was one thing she was sure of, with absolute resolution, was she loved the woman just down the hall. She hadn’t been able to get Aspen out of her system. She weaved in and out of every fiber in her body, making Lex ache with delicious wanting. She knew after spending six months with Aspen, she would either have purged her from her thoughts or have to accept that their souls would be forever joined. The only downside to that was loving someone she could no longer have.
Quiet footsteps broke through her ruminations. She felt Aspen settle down beside her. “Hey.”
“Hey, yourself.” Aspen studied Lex’s face, watching the flames dance in her eyes. There was a winsome sadness in them that spoke to her own soul. She had done a good job of putting a box around her former life and tucking it up on a shelf, no longer feeling the hollow ache that had plagued her for the months surrounding their break up. However, now, in the closeness of the room and the look in Lex’s eyes, she felt herself pulled along by an unseen hand, voices from the past beckoning to her. She felt a shiver run through her, and she forced herself to look away before the pain and longing in her chest made her do something she would no doubt regret. “What’s our poison this year?”
Lex sensed the wall going up. She wanted to tear those walls down, but it wasn’t her place. Her life was with someone else now. Get a grip, Lex. It’s business; it's not personal. Except it was personal. It took on a life of its own, breathing hope into even the darkest corners of her soul. She shook her head, trying to banish the feelings of hope that had taken root and were threatening to divest her of her last shred of resistance. “Lemon drop shots.”
“Wow.” Aspen smiled automatically. It had been a long time since they had done those. She felt a tremor run through her body. She remembered all too well the Thanksgiving that they had done lemon drop shots. It was their first Thanksgiving together, the year they had met each other’s family. It was awkward fo
r both of them, as they put their best foot forward and tried to win over the family of the woman they loved. By the end of the day, both of them needed a drink and a reminder of why they had thrown themselves to the wolves in the first place. And, there was born the tradition of doing shots and spending the evening listing the things they were each grateful for.
Lex watched the emotions play on her face and knew Aspen remembered that first Thanksgiving. She felt her heart catch. She had always been able to read Aspen’s face and know exactly what she was thinking. Her eyes were truly the window into her soul. Lex saw love and pain and hunger flash across her eyes. They still reminded Lex of a stormy sea. She felt something tug at her and without the strength to fight it, she reached out and brushed her thumb along Aspen’s jaw line. Lex could feel her tremble beneath her touch. “I never forgot that night.”
Aspen leaned into her caress, allowing herself a momentary stroll down memory lane before she sat up and pulled away from Lex. “Yes, well, that was a long time ago. A lot has changed since then. And, I’m sure we both have a great deal we are thankful for now.”
Lex nodded. “Yes, we do.”
Aspen leaned back, her palms on the floor behind her. “I’m thankful…”
“Wait.” Lex put her hand on her arm to stop her. Electricity shot up her arm, and she pulled her hand away quickly. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest and when she went to pour their first shot, her hands shook. She wasn’t sure how, but she managed to fill their shot glasses and only lose a couple of drops. She set the bottle down and grabbed Aspen’s hand, exposing her wrist.
Aspen tried to pull away, but Lex gripped her hand tightly and shook her head. “Like old times.”
“I don’t know, Lex.” The heat from Lex’s skin on hers was humming through her body, and she wasn’t sure the close contact was a good idea. Her conversation with Lex’s mom was still fresh in her mind, and it gave her pause. If she were truly going to move on with her life, it started here. She needed to be able to be around Lex and stay unaffected. This was as good a time as any to start.
