by Mary Calmes
Hutch smiled at him. “You really are a good guy.”
“No,” he countered. “Just better than the guys you’ve let near you.”
“Meaning what?”
I could hear it in the tone on both sides. Coz was drawing the conclusion that Hutch had zero self-respect, and Hutch did not love being judged. I would have said something, but it wasn’t my place to—
“You’re both being dicks,” I flared before my brain caught up with my mouth.
They looked startled by my outburst.
“You”—I waved a hand at Hutch—“think he’s slurring your character, and he is, a little, but only because he can be a total self-righteous prick, and not because he actually thinks you’re a whore. He respects the fact that you put yourself out there.”
“I—”
“And you,” I said curtly, indicating Coz, “want him to value himself more, but you can’t help being a little bit of an asshole about it. But you gotta remember, not all of us have families that love us and good friends who think we walk on water. You’ve had one setback your whole life, and so regular human frailty you should give people a pass on.”
They were both staring at me, wide-eyed.
Fuck.
I forgot. That’s what pot did to me, made me arrogant and chatty. It was a lethal combination.
Spinning fast, I jogged away, down the street toward Wrecked.
“Kel!”
I broke into a run.
“Kelly Seaton, you better stop right there!”
Sprinting as fast as I could, I turned the corner, crossed the street, and careened into the front door of my target restaurant, making it to the hostess stand barely breathing hard. Between the gym and my job, I was in pretty good shape.
“Kelly,” Didi Garretty said, smiling at me. “Are you meeting somebody?”
“Mia and her mom and some others,” I answered, taking a quick breath and straightening my suit, pulling on the cuffs so I was pristine again.
“Oh, yes, we just put some tables together.”
“For five people?” That made no sense.
“No, sweetie, for twelve people,” she said, stepping out from behind the stand so I could see the cute gray pencil dress she had on. “I assume they counted you.”
I hesitated because I didn’t even want to go in anymore. And they didn’t really need me. It wasn’t like I was actually part of the Renaldi family.
A whistle caught my attention, one of those high-pitched noises you had to put your thumb and index finger into your mouth to make. It was completely unladylike. So, of course, it came from Mia. When I found her face in the crowd, the words “get your ass over here” were easily discernible.
Didi snorted out a laugh. “You better go, huh?”
“Shit,” I muttered under my breath.
Of course, my party had joined Britton Lassiter’s. Why wouldn’t they? It just made perfect sense. I had the sudden urge to run home and change. I was outfitted for Laredo later, looking sleek in a suit for picking up guys. But here at Wrecked, which was basically an event hall restaurant, the kind people could rent to have parties, wedding receptions, b’nai mitzvah, and the like, I was overdressed. People were wearing sandals, for crap’s sake.
When I was almost there, Mia came around the table and held out her arms. As I reached her, she lifted her head so she could whisper in my ear. “Not my idea—it was Britton’s mother’s. He came over to talk to me and she followed along and suddenly furniture was moving.”
I grunted softly.
“Just so we’re clear. I wouldn’t do that to you, and we both know our mother thinks Britton’s pond scum.”
Our mother… that was nice.
I squeezed her tight, making her squeak on purpose, and then stepped back, smiling as she took hold of my hand and led me back to her seat and the one to the right of her.
I greeted the table with a wave. “Hey, everyone.”
They all said hello back, and I was introduced to Landon Cheong, Emmett’s son, who was very handsome, and his equally stunning fiancée, Blaire Adina. I met Britton’s mother, Jacqueline; his father, Edward; his brother, Eric; and then Olivia came back from the bathroom and rushed over to hug me.
“This is the guy who saved me from the psycho the other day,” she explained, which got me a handshake from her dad—who insisted I call him Ed—and a guy clench from Eric.
Britton thanked me from the other end of the table where he was sitting with Kennedy Vaughn, his girlfriend visiting from Ann Arbor.
They were in a long-distance relationship, but she was considering moving to Mangrove since it was, she said, perfectly quaint and charming.
“I’m just waiting for this man to ask me,” she teased, more for his benefit than mine, bumping him with her shoulder.
Everyone immediately started in with the oohing and ahhhing and how cute and adorable they were together. It was too much for me.
Hearing the opening chords of a song I knew, I turned back to Mia, standing over her and hovering. When she tilted her head back to see me, I waggled my eyebrows for her.
“You’re an ass.”
“Just come on,” I said seductively. “They’re playing your song, baby.”
She growled, and even the people at the next table overheard her. The laughter came quickly, everyone finding her amusing, even Kennedy, who, though focused on her boyfriend, clearly liked his new law partner.
Mia put her hand in mine, and I helped her out of her seat and walked her to the middle of the empty dance floor. I turned to her as the first verse of one of the most beloved ELO songs took off. I spun her around as she shook her head and then moved away just enough to give her room to get her groove on.
“This is my song?” she asked as I sang along to “Evil Woman.”
I nodded as she threw away any semblance of decorum, and we danced like idiots, clearly dorking it up, having fun. When we got together, our collective age was fifteen.
Other people joined us from other tables, and when the song was over and “Tainted Love” came on—weirdest mix ever—we walked back to the table and flopped down into our chairs.
“I ordered a couple pitchers of margaritas,” Eric announced, “and appetizers as well.”
“Thank you,” Mia said sweetly. “Though I’m thinking we’re good with water.”
Yes, water was very good. I still needed to hydrate more.
As I raised my glass, I noticed my drink napkin was folded up under my salad plate. When I opened it up, I saw writing in black ballpoint. The message was simple: Britton Lassiter wanted to speak to me outside.
Chapter Five
EXCUSING MYSELF from the table, I crossed the crowded restaurant, heading for the front door. When I was almost there, Coz stepped in, alone, suit jacket on, glancing around until he spotted me.
“It’s not my fault you’re no longer on a date,” I groused as I got closer, intent on brushing by him. “So if you came here to yell at—Coz!”
He had grabbed my arm, stopping me, holding tight. “I need to talk to you.”
“Britton asked me to meet him outside.”
Releasing me abruptly, he just stood there, close, breathing my air.
“So,” I said, exhaling fast. “Where’s Hutch?”
His gaze lifted and met mine. “He went home.”
“Why?”
“Because you scared him to death.”
I was incredulous. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“Come here,” he said, hand on my back, steering me out of the restaurant to the sidewalk. Once there, he turned to me so fast that I had to stop midstride or mow him over. “Why are you even out tonight? You’re not fit company for anyone.”
“I––”
“Excuse me?”
We both turned, and there was Britton Lassiter, looking like he’d seen a ghost. Yeah, he definitely remembered me now. It was easy to tell from his sort of shell-shocked demeanor that he wasn’t sure what he was suppos
ed to say.
“I wanted to speak to––”
“Sorry.” Coz clipped the word. “But I need to speak to Mr. Seaton right now. It’s official police business.”
“No, it’s not,” I argued, trying to step around him to reach Britton.
Coz put his arm out, corralling me, keeping me behind him. “Yes, it is. I suggest you return to your table, Mr. Lassiter.”
Clearly confused, eyes darting between us, Britton nonetheless beat a hasty retreat and disappeared back inside the always loud, always rambunctious establishment.
“What the hell was that?” I barked when Coz once again faced me.
“Like I said, you’re in no condition to talk to anyone as messed up as you are.”
“What’re you talking about?” I asked even as I felt my heart start to pound with excitement. All of his attention was on me, and it was a rush and a terror at the same time.
“You were so jealous,” he said gruffly, his voice deep, seductive, slithering down my spine. I forgot how to breathe.
What could I say? There was nothing that wouldn’t sound stupid, that wouldn’t give me away.
I tried to take a step back, to move away from him, but he took gentle hold of my face, and at the same time, his thumb stroked over my cheek. The throb of need in my gut made me jolt with his touch, and I saw the wicked curl of his lip in response.
“You’re trembling.”
Was he pleased? His smile, the pulse beating in the side of his neck, the way his breath hitched––all of it said he was, but we were in uncharted territory.
“You were insane with Hutch.”
I knew I had been, and I knew why. I had actually tasted the jealousy. I was surprised neither he nor Hutch had remarked on the glorious shade of green I had probably turned at the time.
“And after you left, he asked me how blind I was.”
I needed to get out of there, so I pulled free and turned from him, rushed down the street, and heard my name called out even as I slipped down an alley a block from the restaurant.
“Wait!” he roared.
I stopped, inhaled through my nose, and held it for a long moment as my best friend caught up to me.
“Jesus, I’m an idiot,” Coz grumbled to himself.
His boots really were gorgeous; I knew that because I was staring down at them. Even though the alley was not terribly well lit, I could still see the workmanship.
“Stop running from me.”
I nodded.
“I get it, why you never told me what you wanted.”
How could I have?
“I mean, I’m all you’ve got, right? If you fucked us up, what else is there?”
Nothing.
There was nothing else. His mother, his sister, the town, all of it came back to him, to Coz, the man who gave me back my life.
“But you gotta remember, I wouldn’t even be here, living this life, without you.”
I stayed silent.
“The humvee was taking fire when you crawled in,” he reminded me. “But you never tell that part.”
I huffed out a breath.
“People think you pulled me out of a car with a flat or something, but you got carved up and burned getting me free and had to return fire all at the same time.”
I knew the story; he didn’t have to refresh my memory.
“And then they shelled it again, and no one could tell it had ever been a vehicle after that. It was just pieces of charcoal on the road.”
I coughed softly.
“You saved my life, you stupid prick.”
But my gift had only lasted moments. His was ongoing, it was everything.
He took a step forward, up against me, into my space, so I had to tilt my head back to look into those dark liquid eyes of his.
“No one looks at me the way you do.”
“Of course not,” I rasped, buzz gone, feeling vulnerable and self-conscious, a little light-headed as well as horrifyingly embarrassed, nervous, and starving. But more than all of that… I wanted… needed….
“Kel?”
I backpedaled, but not far, just a couple feet, so I could pivot and pace.
“Are you all right?”
God, what a mess, and it was all my fault. I should have told him years ago, been honest and bared my soul or simply taken him, jumped him, claimed him, made him mine.
“What did you say?”
I was muttering, having a whole conversation by myself as he watched me with… what? “Don’t smile at me like I’m an idiot.”
He shook his head. “You’re not an idiot, you’re adorable.”
“I… what?”
“You’re all flustered because I’m giving you my attention. Fuck. Why didn’t I just do this a long time ago?”
Power and strength was rolling off him, and all I wanted to do was what I always did, and lean.
“Come here.”
I shook my head. “You don’t… you mean more to me than… and I….” God, what was I trying to say? “I don’t wanna do anything to mess up.”
“I know.”
“I should go.”
“Hey.”
My head snapped up without me thinking about it, and I was again caught in his liquid gaze.
“Why would you think I wouldn’t want you?”
“You could have anybody,” I said quickly. “And I’m not….”
“You’re not what?”
I gestured at him. “You’re you.”
He shook his head. “I should have known this was where your head was.”
“Coz?”
“Right up your ass.”
“What did you say?”
“You pick and choose what you want to pay attention to, it’s how you are.”
“I don’t understand.”
He snorted out a laugh. “It’s like, I’m disfigured, right?”
“Oh, you are not!” I growled. “I hate it when you––”
“Shut up,” he ordered sharply. “I am. I’m missing an entire arm and everyone sees that first, except you. Even my mother and sister try and help me, do more than I want them to, but not you. Never you.”
I simply didn’t see Coz and think he had any limitations. He was the same as he’d always been. All I saw was what I craved.
“When you look at me, you just want me.”
My heart stopped.
“What makes you think I don’t want you right back?”
Because… how could he?
“You don’t see a man missing an arm,” he said, taking a step toward me. “You just see me, and you wanna touch me.”
He had no idea how badly I wanted that.
My whimper came out low and desperate as he closed the distance between us, then slowly traced up my arm with his hand. When he reached my chin, he tipped my head back so our gazes were again locked.
“No one really knows me but you. No one sees me but you,” he whispered.
“What if you change your mind?” I couldn’t be abandoned again. Once by my family, second by various friends and boyfriends—even Britton Lassiter had played his part.
“I won’t.”
I swallowed hard. “Why now? Why the change?”
He palmed the back of my head before he bent and kissed my nose. “’Cause you want me so bad you’re gonna start sabotaging all my dates.”
It was not beyond the realm of possibility.
“So maybe you just take me like you said, and then everyone else will be safe.”
“Yeah, okay,” I murmured, giving in, my skin tingling everywhere he touched. “But I won’t, yanno, let you leave once we… once I… I couldn’t.”
“Good.”
“Okay, so, follow me home,” I said raggedly, my voice cracking. “Come get in my bed.”
He caught his breath and I held mine until he spoke again. “You don’t feel sorry for me, do you?”
“Why would I feel sorry for you?”
“Guys pity me. It’s why they fuck me.”
“It’s not,” I sighed, reaching for him, easing him down, closer with each passing moment. “You know me better than that.”
“I do,” he agreed before he kissed me.
It was gentle, tender, and I lost my mind.
I attacked him, mauled him, shoved my tongue in his mouth, sucked on his, tasted and licked, desperate to be closer, finally ending up plastered to his chest, hands in his hair, grinding against the thigh he’d wedged between mine. His body was so hard, his skin so hot, and I’d waited so long… I was ravenous for him.
“Jesus Christ,” he panted, swallowing great gulps of air. “Why didn’t you ever say you wanted me this bad?”
“Because you would have never believed me until now,” I answered breathlessly before I recaptured his mouth, parting his lips as I kissed him again, deep and slow, taking my time as I hadn’t the first go-around when I thought he’d pull away at any second.
His moan was dark and primal as he clutched at me. He shoved me backward into the exposed brick wall, his hand on my ass, gripping, squeezing, and me struggling to feel more of him. I needed to touch him more, everywhere, and after tugging his shirt out of his pants, I yanked and pulled until my hands slid over his hot, sleek skin.
When I started fiddling with his belt buckle, he wrenched free, gasping, hand braced on my chest to keep me still, keep me from reaching him.
I was devastated. “You don’t want… you—Coz?”
The scowl, the one I recognized as a sign of annoyance, that I was talking too much, had jumped to the wrong conclusion, allowed my heart to start beating again. “Of course I want you. Everybody wants you.”
For one night, maybe, but I was too much trouble to keep. My life was far too wrapped up with him. No one could compete with Cosimo Renaldi. “I’m no good for anyone but you—you spoiled me for anybody else.”
“Oh yeah?” he asked, and I could hear how rough his voice was, both of us still recovering from oxygen deprivation.
“Yeah,” I promised, putting my hands on his hips, my mouth dry just looking at his bruised lips and rumpled clothes, all telltale signs of being ravaged.
“So all this time, all I had to do was say the word, and you would have been mine?”
“Yes.”
He raked his hand through his hair as he stared down into my eyes. “For crissakes, Kelly, why didn’t you tell me?”
