“I’m sorry about earlier. I realize I should’ve spoken to you in private about my reservations.”
“Yes, you should’ve. I didn’t know you had such strong feelings on the matter and neither did your old man.”
“My dad doesn’t know nothin’ about me.”
He moves to sit at the table and leans over, placing his hands on the surface.
“For what you said about your brothers earlier, because whether you like it or not they are your brothers, I could kick you outta the club. You know that, right?”
I nod and move closer toward the table. “I do. I didn’t mean no disrespect.”
Ivan gives me a long look, a cold look, a look that almost has me wanting to leave and forget what I came here to talk about. Until he stands once more and gives me a small smile.
“No worries, son,” he tells me, placing his hand on my shoulder. “A family means never having to hold your tongue or watch your words.”
I nod, clearing my throat.
“We’ve all been to war,” I stop him. “Seen shit, been through shit. I won’t let what happened over there take over my life, but I cherish every day that I’m back. I risked my life for my country when I could’ve run and deserted responsibility. If I risk my life for this club, every man should be expected to do the same. You have an auto-body shop that isn’t even running, a car lot barely scraping by.”
Ivan grunts and crosses his arms.
“I’m not meaning to be disrespectful. But when I was growing up I couldn’t wait to be in this club, to ride and feel like a family. But this…I want to know that if I agree to start working on club shit, that we can also agree to get the businesses up and running so we’re not so dependent on runs.”
I feel the words I’ve been wanting to say leave me and a burden I’ve been shouldering being lifted off.
“I know me and my guys, we don’t want to work on houses and shit for nothing. We can turn this club around, make it strong again. Just put that faith in us to have the backs of everyone in the club.”
I then look at him for the first time since beginning speaking and he’s nodding, stroking his beard before looking out the window.
“I’ve been waiting for someone to kick me in the ass about this. Didn’t expect it to be you,” he says, looking at me with something in eyes I can only label as fatherly. “I want this club to be great again, and maybe new blood is what we need. I’m putting my trust in you and I think you guys can turn it around. We’ll need to go to gathering and get a vote, but I know the rest of us want what you want, for the Warrior of the Gods to be great again. And I have faith you will do that, Sven Frederickson.”
A swell of pride rises in my chest, it almost conquers the trepidation…almost. I can’t help but feel like I’ve given into the life I tried so hard to separate myself from. But I also feel like it’s my destiny. I don’t know how Missy will take it, if she’ll accept it or not and leave me. Nothing I can do about it now. What’s done is done and I know at the end of the day, to support us, I need to do this.
I pick up Sweetie and bask in the hug she gives me, how her face lights up when she sees me. I know this little girl is not only something special, but already holds a special place in my heart. We beat Missy to the ice cream parlor but Sweetie doesn’t want to wait, so she orders a blue moon cone and we sit at one of the little tables outside the shop.
“Do dragons like ice cream?” she asks, squinting as she looks up at me.
“I assume so, who doesn’t like ice cream?” I shrug.
“Hey guys,” Missy says as she approaches us, leaning down to kiss my cheek as she scoops Sweetie up and into a hug, sitting back down with her on her lap.
“You want something?” I ask.
“I’m hungry,” she sighs.
“Me too, hot dog or burger?” I ask, standing.
“Mmmm, hot dog…and fries,” she smiles.
“You got it,” I tell her, heading into the shop.
I’ve been trying to think of what to tell her about the MC. That I’m in. I already have in mind all the things she’s going to say, the questions. It’s just working up the nerve to actually tell her. Coming back out with our food, Missy’s wiping blue ice cream off Sweetie’s mouth as she tries to get away and run to the park just a few feet away.
“Okay, go you animal,” Missy teases as Sweetie breaks free. “Thank you,” Missy says, leaning up to kiss my lips as I set the red plastic basket with her dinner nestled inside in front of her.
“How was your day?” I ask, picking up my burger and taking a bite.
We can hear the music from the Plantain High School marching band practicing in the distance. Even though they’re inside the gymnasium, the doors must be open, and Missy taps her foot along to the music.
“Okay,” she sighs. “Milton was in the office all day, I could barely get anything done he kept calling me in for this or that. I swear when he gets married he’s gonna drive his wife crazy,” she says while dipping a fry into ketchup and eating it.
“Have you met his sister Jill before?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Owen wants us to go on a double date. He thinks you could set that up.”
Missy’s eyes flick to mine to see if I’m being serious, before laughing.
“I know, right?” I say.
“Uh, sorry, but Owen’s delusional if he thinks Milton would ever let that happen.”
We eat and I’m about to break the news, when she says, “You see Owen lately?”
“Today,” I sigh, “and Joseph.”
“Oh yeah? What were you guys up to?”
“We were at the MC,” I say tentatively.
Her eyes focus on me, “What does that mean?”
“We’ve been asked to do a job-”
“What about school?” she interrupts.
“Said they won’t let me back in on scholarship, need to get the money.”
She puts her hand on my knee. “I’m sorry, babe,” she says.
“I can do a few runs with the club and get the money,” I state.
She nods, “Okay.”
I know she doesn’t understand what “runs” means, or what we do at the club and I can see the uncertainty in her eyes and in her demeanor.
“I can’t tell you much, but I don’t want you to worry about it, yeah?” I tell her, putting my hand over hers. When she gives me an unsure expression, my fingers wrap around her wrist and pull her to sit on my lap. “What?”
“Nothing,” she says softly, running her fingers through my hair as I nestle my face against her neck. “I trust you to do what you have to,” she states.
I look up at her, I want to tell her what we do but don’t want to put that worry on her. “Just know, I won’t ever risk us, or anything with Sweetie, okay?”
12
MISSY
One year later
I kept thinking the amount of papers covering the desk got less and less, that my days as an employee at the police office were numbered. But every night Milton would say “see ya tomorrow.” I thought things might be weird between us after I left my parents’. Other than asking me randomly if everything was okay, he hasn't mentioned anything more.
Kindergarten for Sweetie had come and gone and she was about to begin first grade in a few weeks, so while I worked at the police station, she went to Joseph’s parents’ place and his mom Ida would watch her. I really like Ida, she’s soft spoken and kind and Sweetie liked her from the first moment they met. I knew Ida was a mother figure to Sven and even though he never said so, I think he really liked that Sweetie had a connection to her. I felt like the consistency was good for her since after we left my parents, we stayed in Ida and Ivan’s basement for almost six months. Then, something almost bizarre happened. At work one day, the mailman brought me a manila envelope. My name on the front along with the police station address. Curious, I opened the package to retrieve a thick stack of papers with a small note paper clipped to the front. The typed no
te reading:
Faye,
Here are the deeds and paperwork for the house. The property is yours. Will be in touch soon. Dad.
And that was it. I hadn’t heard from either of my parents since moving out over a year ago and I wanted things to settle before contacting my dad. I for sure thought he’d send me our things from Mississippi, but they never came. I called his law office several times just to be told he’d call me when he could. My first instinct when I received the mail was to call my parents’ house, but realized that was dumb because surely Gaye was home and I didn’t want to talk to her, so I called my dad’s law office yet again.
“He’s out of the country,” his secretary told me over the phone.
“What? Where? For how long?”
“Not sure, dear. I’ll leave a message for him-”
“And my mother?” I question.
“Again, I’m not sure.”
Hanging up, I looked over the paperwork and asked Milton if it was as simple as me just having the papers and keys to the place. He wasn’t sure and sent me to City Hall to ask someone there what I needed to do. Sure enough, I filled out and signed the paperwork and the old mansion was mine. I took Sven and Sweetie out to dinner that night and broke the news. The look on Sweetie’s face, I wish I could keep in my memory forever. She loved that house just as much as I did and Sven, well he seemed happy for us. I also hired him and his friends to finish work on the house, to which he gladly accepted. This was also hard for me because although I’d been working and was more on my feet, I couldn’t afford a lot of the materials and labor to finish the house, so with much reluctance, I let Sven talk me into letting him help with that.
The house is a labor of love, and although I like what my parents decided for the renovations that were already done, I wanted to add some things and Sven also had suggestions. We made the house the way we wanted and in an unspoken sort of agreement, it was decided this will be Sven’s house too.
A few months after moving into the property, there was a knock on the door. With no word from my father, I swung it open half expecting it to be him. But there was Gwen, suitcases in hand.
“Oh my God, what are you doing here?” I squealed as she dropped her bags and we did a jumping hug.
“You told me you got the house and well, Joseph and I want to get serious and there’s nothing in Alabama keeping me there.” She smiles.
“I can’t believe it,” I gush, helping her pick up her luggage.
“Soooo, I can’t stay with his parents…need a roommate?” she asked.
“Clearly, I have no problem with that!” I laugh as we drag all her stuff into the foyer.”
“What’s going on?” Sven asks, coming in from the kitchen where he was washing out paintbrushes in the sink.
“Gwen’s moving in,” I begin, before Joseph’s big booming voice interrupts from the kitchen behind me.
“My Alabama girl here?”
Sven and I move aside, while Gwen smiles wide and runs toward him as he exits the kitchen.
Of course, not too long after, Joseph started staying the night a lot and bringing his stuff over since he’d been living with Owen while Sweetie and I lived with his parents. I didn’t mind, and it really felt like for the first time in my life, Sweetie and I were part of a family. Once the house was finished it would be plenty of room for all of us, but Gwen and Joseph were looking for a place in the meantime while she worked at the hair salon in town.
After my secretarial job, I'd go home and check on Kendall for an hour while I got ready for the diner job. I felt bad missing out on time with her, but we needed the money more than ever now. Yes, I got the house for free, but I still had to pay for utilities and food. Everyone pitched in with money and Sven and Joseph did jobs for the club, but I still longed for that sense of doing it on my own. Sven would watch her in the evenings and put her to bed. Most nights they'd come up to the diner for supper and I'd take a break and enjoy their company. I absolutely loved Sven and Sweetie together. He was the male figure in her life that I'd always hoped for and I think she was providing something that was missing in his life too. He just lit up when she was around and I loved the way he’d look at her when she’d talk about her imaginary things. I just felt like she woke some part of him that he never knew was there, or let die when he was younger. They had inside jokes and handmade maps for dragon searching, Sven even made her a little enclosure for any fairies she might find. If I couldn't be with my daughter as much as I wished, I'm happy she was with Sven.
Things between me and Sven had slowed down. We went from hot and heavy, hanging out alone whenever we wanted, to now stealing chaste kisses here and there. It's not that I didn't want Sweetie to see us like that, but I didn't want to confuse her. We shared a bedroom in the house and I assume she knew that, although we didn’t broadcast it. She really loved Sven and there was still a little fear in me that he'd grow tired of us and move on, leaving a little girls broken heart in his wake. But I'd be broken hearted too.
Working at the diner has continued to be less than pleasant. Tippy, a.k.a. Cleopatra Eyes, has been a thorn in my side since day one. From taking my tables food and giving it to her own, to trashing the bathrooms when it was my turn to clean them, to even putting gum in my hair, the girl was a menace. Even with my daughter there, every night she'd unbutton her uniform to show off her tits and flirt with Sven. She had some nerve that one. Sven would say hello and not much else, then she'd turn her attention to Sweetie in an attempt to just remain at the table. It made my blood boil. Sven was mine...wasn't he? We never officially talked about it, but he was the only one I was with and as far as I knew I was the only one for him as well.
This wasn't high school. I didn't need to wear his ring or his varsity letter jacket. I liked that we were uncomplicated, just being what we were. Again, I wondered if all this was what Sven wanted. We never talked about it but Sven is a man of few spoken words.
"I don't like Tippy flirting with you," I comment as we drive to the clubhouse for a party, having just dropped Sweetie off at Ida’s for the night.
"She doesn't flirt with me," he says dismissively as he puts a hand on my upper thigh.
Sven and Sweetie came to the diner tonight and I had to- yet again endure an hour or so of Tippy’s tits in Sven’s face.
"Sometimes I want to yank her by the hair and tell her you're mine," I say in truth but more to gauge his reaction.
He gives me a look through shameless eyes. It’s hot and lustful as he pulls me closer to his side.
"Oh yeah? I think I might enjoy watching that," he tells me and I smack the back of my hand against his thigh. I then inhale sharply when he grabs my hand and turns it over, placing it over his erection.
“You doubt I’m yours?” he asks.
My fingers press around him and he intakes a sharp breath. He parks the truck and I realize we’re at the clubhouse already. His head turns as he cups my cheek and pulls me closer with his arm behind my shoulders. Kissing me hard and deep, my legs opening as I drape the leg closest to him, over his knee. The hand on my cheek, trails down to the hem of my skirt, his fingers sliding along my thigh and cupping my hot flesh, since I decided on no panties tonight.
"Are you mine?" I whisper, pulling away from his lips as I pant.
Eyes meet mine, sincerity gleaming from their depths. "I told you,” he breathes out, “the moment I heard your voice, I was yours Mama."
Like a tidal wave, warmth fills my muscles. But doubts still linger.
"We just never talked about it, and I know in my head what I think we are...but we're not always together. I don't know if you're with other women when you’re not with-"
"Stop talking and give me those lips," he says against my mouth before resuming his tongue fucking of my mouth.
His fingers begin to run along my folds, gathering moisture to lubricate the nub of skin that always makes my body explode. A loud bang on the tail bed of the truck has me sitting up in a panic, my legs instantly pu
lling down and pinning together.
“Goddammit, Owen!” Sven growls, resting his head back onto the seat and I look over to see Owen smiling as he walks over toward the opened driver’s side window.
“Oh damn, sorry,” he says, noticing our appearance. “I’ll leave you two love birds alone.”
Sven gives him another low growl as he lifts his head. I fix my skirt and try to calm my racing heart, preparing to leave the truck when Sven puts his hand on my thigh again.
“Babe…think you could help me?” he asks and I look over in question.
My eyes notice his directed on his lap and the thick bulge beneath his jeans.
“I think I’ll make you wait.”
“Oh, come on,” he smiles, reaching out for me, but I slide away and toward the door, shooting him a wicked grin. “Are you serious?” he asks in a tone that says he really can’t believe my denial.
Without a word, I hop down from the truck and close the door. He groans and lets out a growl as he sits up and gets out, adjusting himself as he walks over toward me.
“You just remember this,” he tells me, tapping the tip of my nose with his index finger.
Walking into that party, I knew Sven was mine. Hand in hand we walk in, past the bikers and other MC members. I hadn’t wondered until now if Sven’s dad would be here. I’d seen him one other time since the park incident, he was drunk and threw an arm around my shoulders, called me a sweet bottom, and passed out. Sven didn’t see it happen and I never told him. I never asked Sven about him, but I got enough information from the encounter at the park to know his dad was just an asshole. Sven never talked about his parents and I could identify with that. I think we both understood without knowing exactly what the other went through, that those people were people we were fine without.
There’s plenty of people I recognize since this isn’t the first party I’ve been to since the park last summer. I don’t know what the club does to make money, but with what I know of bikers, coupled the warning Milton gave me, it can’t be legal. But I never saw any of that. Every time I was here, it was fun and partying, nothing that shouted outright dangerous.
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