“Have you ordered my new uniform yet?” I ask Eleanor.
I’ve had the same ill-fitting uniform from when I started, for over a year now and just finally convinced William to order me a new one. Yes, the tight top had gotten me good tips, but I felt so awkward wearing it especially when I had a table with a family and my tits were pouring out.
“Why? Done trying to keep up with me and my tips?” Tippy comments, coming up beside me.
“No one can keep up with what you do on the side to get those tips,” I reply, not looking at her.
“That’s not what I hear. I guess I missed out on the show this weekend. I was too busy getting the best dick of my life, other than Sven. I guess you took his cock like a champ, or so everyone told me.”
I see red, like actual red flashes in my vision. I don’t realize what I’ve done until the pain ripples from my knuckles and down my arm when Tippy begins screaming. I blink and look down at her ass on the floor, blood pouring from her nose. I stand there, my mouth agape, my pulse raging, my heart pounding. I just watch as Eleanor comes and helps her, applying towels to her face to help stop the bleeding.
“What the fuck?” William says.
“She hit me!” Tippy screams and I swallow.
“Faye, is this true?” he asks me.
Ashamed, I look at him and nod. “I’m gonna have to let you go,” he tells me, all while Tippy’s still screaming bloody murder.
My walk home is one of feeling like absolute shit. What am I doing? I don’t punch people in the face when they piss me off. No, I just smile and pretend they don’t bother me. It felt good though. So damn good.
**
“Oh my God, you should’ve hit her again,” Gwen tells me as I recount my firing that night.
“No shit. I don’t promote violence, but she deserved it,” Shine says, and I look down at my glass of wine.
We’re sitting on the floor around the coffee table in the living room, the air smelling of patchouli and roses. Sweetie’s asleep upstairs. Shine showed up this morning and asked if she could crash here for the night. I want to ask if it was because of the fight with Jasper, but haven’t. I didn’t tell her what I witnessed I think mainly because I don’t want to embarrass her, and I also feel guilty I didn’t step in when she was being hurt.
“What am I gonna do? I owe Sven and the guys money, and now I won’t be able to pay ‘em.”
“Come to Diamond Dan’s and work a few nights,” Shine suggests.
“I can’t do that,” I sigh.
“Why not?” Gwen asks.
I look between the two like it’s obvious, but they don’t seem to get it. “I’m a mom, I can’t-no offense,” I say with a hand toward Shine, who nods in understanding. “I just, isn’t it, I can’t-”
“Stop, that’s Gaye in your head,” Gwen tells me.
“It’s quick and easy money, I’m telling you. Just go in and check it out, no pressure,” Shine shrugs, lighting a joint and offering it to us.
“No, I’m not doing anything for a long time after Saturday,” I state.
“Why, what happened?” Gwen asks.
“You didn’t hear?” I ask, again looking between them and they both shake their heads. “Apparently, I gave Sven a blow job in front of everyone.” A flush engulfing me.
“I think I did too, I mean with Joseph. He didn’t flat out tell me we did something, but I heard some comments,” Gwen says, handing the joint back to Shine.
“Doesn’t that bother you?” I ask her.
“No way! We had fun. I don’t remember it, but I don’t regret it or anything,” she says casually.
“All I heard about is last night some guys ran a train on a sweet bottom. That’s what everyone’s been talking about,” Shine tells me.
Okay, so Gwen was cool and calm about it, and the club didn’t even give a shit anymore. But that wasn’t what was bothering me. It’s Sven’s behavior and deflection, turning it on me about not wanting to get married. Maybe I just wasn’t cut out for his life, the biker life. But I love Sven, and I want to be with Sven. I know we just need some time to cool off, time for him to figure out what he wants. I decide to write him a letter, since sometimes I feel like what I need to say isn’t so easy to verbalize.
I know he understands where I come from, how I was raised, how this lifestyle is so different for me. I don’t blame him for what happened, but the fact he felt so little about it, I also know I need to take into consideration about where he comes from and how he was raised.
As I write, I start thinking about me asking him to confront Jasper and how he didn’t, and it occurs to me how bratty that was of me. Who the hell am I to tell anyone what to do? And he was right, it’s not my business. Shine’s an adult, if she doesn’t like it she can leave him. I think it pissed me off more that Sven questioned me and didn’t do what I wanted. I’d turned into Gaye yelling at Frank, expecting Sven to drop everything and do it, just like Frank does.
As I write the letter and I look deep into myself, I grow more frustrated. I want to be with Sven more than anything. But something inside me wants to hold onto the independence of not being married for some reason. I think maybe, seeing Gaye and Frank, Gaye uses her title of being his wife against him or something, and I don’t want Sven and I to turn into that. I end the letter with I’ll pay him back and I hope that he gives me the time to do that. After sealing up the letter, I give it to Joseph to give to Sven because I think he’ll see him before I do.
I decide to take up Shine’s offer to go to the strip club she works at, not to dance, but to waitress, much to the disappointment of Diamond Dan himself. Dan was an okay guy for being a side-of-the-road strip club owner. I’ll only be working Friday and Saturday nights, the busiest nights for the club. I’m nervous, but not only need the extra money to pay Sven, but also to support me and Sweetie now that I was fired from the diner. I still had my job with Milton, but there was no way I could earn enough to pay Sven with just that job. The strip club job was something I could go to after Sweetie was asleep and Gwen told me she had no problem watching her those nights. Sweetie usually spent one of those nights at Ida’s anyhow.
I started work and it was fine. Creepy truck driver guys, along with guys in suits went there. It was the only strip club for miles and it attracted all types. A few weeks in and I’ve developed a rapport with the regulars. Yes, weeks.
Those same weeks I haven’t been in contact with Sven. Joseph told me he’d passed along my letter but still nothing. Maybe he didn’t like what I said and wanted to end us, as-is. Anyway, I wasn’t dealing with that part of my life. I was sad and wanted him, but I wasn’t going to beg him either. I knew the next time I saw him, I was laying down the law that if he wanted to end things he needed to tell me to my face, not just ignore me.
So, in my head we were together, as sad as that may sound.
I was making a lot more money at the strip club than I did at the diner and knew I’d have enough to pay Sven back soon. One of the highlights of my new job, was I got to watch Shine dance. The woman was like a goddess up there and the guys always came to see her. She would wear an outfit that reminded me of an old-timey fortune teller, loose fabric and jewelry that jingled as she moved. She was hypnotic.
Every Saturday night, I took my break at the same time Shine was on stage, and Owen came in just to watch her too. He’d recently taken a liking to her, and would sit in the back, shrouded in the shadows. He’d never order a drink, and would leave as soon as she was done. As weird as it may seem, I stood just inside the corridor for staff and watched him watch her. He wasn’t leering at her or being pervy, he just watched her. It was so obvious he crushed on her and I wished she’d get her head out of her ass and recognize it. I didn’t want Owen to see me and tell Sven I was working here. Sven wanted to marry me, of course he wouldn’t be thrilled to know I was here, but part of me feared he wouldn’t care. I’d asked Shine if she’d seen Owen and she’d tell me no, but I knew she had and just didn’t under
stand why she wasn’t trying to be with him.
One Friday night, while I’m working the floor, filling drink orders and rushing around, the music for the dancer on stage has me wiggling as I walk to the hallway so I could take my break. I’m startled when I look up and see Sven standing there, leaning against the wall. His eyes pierce me, not in a mean way, but in an intense way.
“You scared me,” I gasp, putting my hand on my chest.
His eyes sweep over my body covered only in a burgundy macramé bikini that Gwen made me. My breasts are pouring out from the sides of the top, down to my white go-go boots and his eyes flare as he takes me in.
“What are you doing here?” I ask.
“I’m not gonna give you some speech about wanting to claim you, or how I promise you this or that, but I’m sorry. I pressured you unnecessarily and made you think that marriage is what I need now. I want it, but I can wait.” He shakes his head and I swallow thickly. “I know being on your own, making your way is important, but I want to be the man and take care of you and Sweetie, that’s just what I want. Stop making money such a big deal, and let me take care of you, yeah?”
“Sven,” I begin and pause. I know money isn’t everything, but what am I doing? This isn’t me. “I know it was shitty of me to expect you to lay some claim for me. I didn’t like Tippy thinking you were fair game. But what I didn’t understand is that you wanted the same from me, and I’m sorry it took a fight and distance to make me realize that. But I missed you- I still do miss you,” I stop, inhaling deeply.
“You wanna be with me?” he asks.
“Yeah.”
“Then that’s it,” he shrugs.
I walk closer, putting my hands on his chest. “I’m sorry for how I acted-”
“Shut up. It’s over now. I read your letter, I feel you,” he tells me, wrapping his arms around my waist and acting like the last few weeks of agony didn’t happen. “Now that the MC’s bought the club, I’m basically the owner, which means I get to fuck you in an office or something, right?”
I lift an eyebrow. “They’ve bought the club?” I ask.
“Owen’s taken an interest in the place, thought it might be good revenue for us. It’s also how I knew you were working here. So, what do you say? You, me, office?”
“Actually, I’d rather you take me home. Sweetie’s at Ida and Ivan’s.”
His hand takes mine, pulling me through the hallway, before I stop him because I need to go back for my bag. When I reemerge, he’s on his bike right by the door. I tossed on a silky robe because I didn’t want to waste time getting dressed and the material catches in the wind, parting the bottom below the tie and flashing Sven my barely-there bottoms. His hand reaches for me and jerks me against his lips, a hand searches between my legs and fingers roughly trail up between my folds. My knees tremble as I fight the urge to fuck him right here, but I’ve had enough of public displays so I pull away and get on the back of the bike.
As soon as he parks outside the house, we’re a flurry of kissing and groping as he walks me backward toward the side door. I turn in his arms to open the door, not wanting to fall down the basement steps if we got too lost in our passion. He kisses the back of my neck, while his fingers undo the silk sash tied below my tits and presses my front against a kitchen wall as we enter. We both groan and I smile as his hands feel so good. I push back and moan longer as he grabs my bikini covered breasts, having parted the material of the robe. Then, he’s kneeling behind me and turning me in a flash, jerking down the bikini bottoms and tossing them over his shoulder. Thick, rough fingers pet my curls, coaxing my lips open before his hot mouth latches onto my clit. My eyes close as my head tilts back, and I lift a leg as my fingers comb through his hair. I missed the tickle of his beard against my sensitive flesh, touching my thighs and clit.
“Oh, yes. Sven, I missed your mouth on me,” I exhale. His lips and tongue work on me with a fervor that has my body feeling like fire and electricity are pulsing through me.
He goes down on me for minutes, executing the most precise and lethal pleasure on me. I’m not even done shaking from my orgasm before I pull his shirt up over his head and push him down onto his back against the kitchen tiles.
“Fan, jag älskar dig,” he groans, and I know enough now to translate his words as, “Fuck, I love you.”
“I love you,” I echo back and lean down to kiss him.
My hands slide into his hair as I grind my hips down, rocking back and forth as our lips play.
My lips trail down his neck, while my fingers flutter over the hair on his jaw and feel his throat work under my lips, his heart pounding against my chest. His rough fingers finally remove the robe gathered at my wrists in a crumple of silk. His hands cup the naked globes of my ass as he forces my pelvis down and around. We both groan and I push up on my hands, looking down at him, his shirtless torso tan and glowing in the dim light of the moon coming in through the windows. We look down at my body moving against his, and he reaches up to finally take off the bikini top. My breasts tumble out, heavy and needy as my nipples bud up just before his lips cover one, teasing me softly with his breath and tongue. I gasp and moan quietly, my hips moving fast and I know I’ve saturated the denim of his crotch with my wetness.
“Goddamn, you’re so sexy,” he tells me, kissing between my breasts.
I sit up further, scooting back to undo his jeans and he sits up, following with his mouth on my nipple. My fingers make quick work of freeing his cock. His skin is hot in my palm, hard, and tight, and my pussy seeps with desire. With my knees, I rise while I position him with my hand before slowly sinking down. Sven groans and presses his face against my shoulder, his hands flat against my back. My fingers in his hair as my eyes close. I ride him slowly, teasing him and myself, not allowing him completely inside as I move. Sven doesn’t force, just lets me move and dictate the depth. He knows it’ll be worth it, what I’m doing. Gradually I take more, moving faster and Sven looks up at me, his face a mask of desire. Eyes shuttered, lips parted, jaw slack. Perfection.
“I love you,” he tells me.
Lips press along my collarbone as my head falls back, my back arching as I move a hand to his knee and ride him hard until I come. Sven’s hands grip my ass as he grunts and his body jerks, his expression becoming even more dazed as he touches ecstasy with me.
15
Missy
Six months later
I look around the barren surroundings of the mansion. Call it the southern belle in me, wanting to transform the glory of this house to the way I’m sure it once was. I decide this will be my project, finishing the house. Every wall is white, the floors and banisters are a gleaming refinished wood. But there was hardly anything in any of the rooms and it just felt desolate and not homey. This was my chance to create something I wanted, a space for us to call a home.
I begin by picking through the contents of my Great Aunt’s belongings in the basement, attic and garage. Not everything is my style, but I paint some of the furniture rather than spend the money on anything new. I find some gorgeous Tiffany lamps for the front room, along with a unique velvet couch in an almost u-shape that’s antique. I find an old china cabinet that’s barely in one piece, and by removing the doors and painting it an Egyptian blue, I turn it into a bookshelf for the front room.
Every evening when Sven comes home, I show him what I did that day and he listens patiently as I explain what something used to be and how I’ve made it into the final product. I know he does this just to humor me, but I look forward to giving him the detailed report.
Gwen helps me make lace curtains for most of the rooms, since she can sew her butt off. I hang macramé plant holders she’s made from the ceilings in front of nearly every window. Spider plants and long hanging leaves pour from the pots. I do splurge and buy some wooden hanging chairs for the living room and front porch. They’re fun and Sweetie loves to spin around in them.
Shine’s visits always provide some sort of decoration that
I love, whether it was some sort of quartz or other polished rock for my mantle or peacock feathers for a vase to sit in the corner of the room. She provides the flair and I love everything. She even made some beaded curtains for Sweetie’s doorway that she adores. We painted her room in a rainbow of colors and even hung some crystals Shine had from fishing line in her window, cascading actual rainbows all around her room when the sun sets.
When the inside was completed to my liking, I transferred my attention to the outside. Gaye had butchered the landscape to near desolation, but since they left, I haven’t touched anything, allowing the greenery to grow back in. I didn’t want the place to get out of control again, but I wanted to restore the charm that Sweetie and I fell in love with when we first arrived. The fairy fountain was the focal point and I built around that. I had to spend money on this stuff, but it was worth it. I planted roses, lilacs, butterfly bushes, and lavender. With help from Gwen and Shine, we created a gorgeous oasis around the property. Joseph and Sven built me an arch for ivy to grow around, along with a little playhouse for Sweetie out of spare wood.
The house finally felt like ours and not one shred of Gaye remained. Of course, I thought about my parents all the time, still not sure exactly what was going on with my dad. I was still shocked he’d not at least sent word or come to visit. He knew I couldn’t call their house and because of that, I couldn’t help but think he was purposely avoiding me.
***
Today Sven and I are flying to Hawaii. After our little fight six months ago, things are better than ever. We still argue, but he understands I’m still trying to find my feet, trying to battle the part of me that wants to be, against the part of me that already was. Gwen told me she’d watch over Sweetie for the week we’ll be gone. I was somewhat bummed Sweetie wasn’t coming with, but Sven told me this wasn’t the kind of trip to bring a kid on, and that we could go again with her sometime soon. I didn’t know exactly what that meant, but I assumed he had lots of sex in mind.
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