I stared at the doors. Two glass doors that would lead to my new life and I couldn’t open them. I was still waiting for Colt.
It was quiet now, the motorcycle had passed. My time with Colt was over. I thought he was the guy I could depend on. I thought we could change things and make a new life together. I opened the big glass door. I was the only one who could change my life.
North and Shearer was in Suite 201. I walked in and went straight to the receptionist’s desk. “I’m here for an interview.”
* * *
The interview started out with a test on my accounting skills. I must have aced it because they took me right into a conference room. Karen, the office manager, talked to me about my school courses and experience at the club. Once the questions were through, she put down her notepad.
“Would you be able to start as soon as one week?”
It was hard to breathe. Maybe this wasn’t what I really wanted? Leaving the club had never been this real before. It had always been a concept, an idea hanging inside my head.
But Becky wasn’t a concept. She needed a stable life where Mom came home at night and where I could always pay my bills. When she was old enough to ask me what my job was, she deserved an honest answer. I needed to set an example for my daughter. That was real.
“I can start as soon as tomorrow, if you need me to.”
“We’ll need to get your desk ready. How about Tuesday? Next week?” Karen smiled. “Welcome aboard.”
By the time I finished filling out paperwork and reference requests, I had to go pick up Becky from the bus stop. I stepped out of my car in my dressy pants and nice blazer. Becky’s eyes were wide as she hopped off the bus.
“You look very smart, Mommy.”
She nodded at her proclamation, and I laughed. I felt very smart.
I just had to get through one more week at the club.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Colt
After Tate yelled at me, he ordered me to sleep. According to him, I needed to calm down before I started my hunt for the skimmer. When I woke up, my shirt was dried and caked with blood from the fight, so I showered and changed and headed downstairs. I found Skeeter sitting at the bar eating a plate of eggs.
“Morning.” He grinned. “You look like shit.”
“Thanks.” I laughed and it hurt my face. At some point last night, Bear must have landed a few punches I was too irate to remember. I had a pretty awesome bruise on my cheek. I poured myself some caffeine and sat at the bar next to Skeeter. “I’m gonna go take a look at those security tapes. You in?”
He nodded. “Hell yeah, let’s go.”
* * *
Hours and hours of recordings, and nothing. The cameras themselves were motion-activated, so everything we watched should have some footage of Bear stealing the club’s money, or at least checking on it. This was supposed to be our smoking gun, but instead we came up with hours and hours of squirrels.
The warehouse was infested with fucking squirrels. Every time one of the goddamn things ran in front of the camera, it would start recording. An eternity of squirrels running back and forth in front of our cash. Nothing had been touched, no one came in to take a peek and see what was there. Just boxes stuffed with fake cash, and squirrels.
Skeeter threw the remote down onto the little table in the warehouse office. “Well, this is a fucking bust.”
“How many hours do we have left?”
I looked at my laptop. Shit. “About six hours. Wanna get a pizza?”
After we stuffed our faces, Skeeter turned to me. “So, that was a shitty thing you did to Krista.”
I threw the half-eaten slice of pepperoni back in the box. I wasn’t hungry. “Who the fuck are you? Dr. Phil?” Skeeter was worse than a chick, always badgering me about my relationship. But he was right. I tapped on my chin and turned my head to give him a good angle. “Just a take a swing and get it over with. I know you want to. Right here.”
Skeeter laughed. “You talk to Krista yet? Tell her you love her?”
He dragged out the word “love” when he said it. It sounded comical, just like this whole situation. I had finally found the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my days with. She was sexy, smart and independent, and I didn’t deserve her. I wasn’t good enough for someone like her, not by a long shot.
I didn’t answer him. I couldn’t make things right with Krista. I’d fucked up so many times, and last night was the worst. I couldn’t expect her to wait for me to get out of prison when I couldn’t even stand up and make a commitment to her in front of the club.
“I’m gonna tell her goodbye, head back to Cali.” I turned to Skeeter. “Will you keep an eye on her? Make sure she’s safe?”
Skeeter nodded and was quiet for a while. He smoked and we watched the tapes. “I’ll keep an eye out for her,” he promised. “But it’s gonna be hard with her new job.”
I paused the recording. “What?”
“Yeah. She didn’t tell you? She told Tate she got a new job.” He grinned. “You guys too busy fucking to talk much?”
I was stupid. Of course. She’d just graduated from school a few months back. It all made sense. She was gonna make something of herself and she didn’t need me around to do it. I wanted her to succeed, I just wished I would be there to see it.
Maybe there was a way I could still help her. I stopped paying attention to the security footage. I didn’t have to be in her life to help her out. She’d need money to get things started, and I had plenty of that shit. I’d spent the last few years trading stocks and building up a nice offshore bank account. I could make sure she and Becky had a good life.
We finished up the rest of the recordings. Toward the end, we got a surprise when a raccoon showed up for about two minutes, but nothing incriminating. We couldn’t get Bear for anything. Damn.
“Well, this was a bust,” Skeeter griped. He threw away the empty pizza box and I packed up my laptop. Time to head back, I needed to talk to Krista.
It was pouring rain by the time we got out to our bikes. Dammit. Skeeter unpacked a nylon wad from his saddlebags.
“What’s that?”
“Rain gear.” He started putting on the jumpsuit.
“No one wears rain gear. That’s for pussies.” Shit. I didn’t mean to insult the guy, he’d just solved all of my problems with my damn relationship. “Sorry, man, I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just no one wears that in California.”
Skeeter laughed and zipped up his waterproof jumpsuit. “Welcome to Washington State.”
Chapter Thirty-Five
Krista
Bear glared at me from his non-swollen eye on his way to the bar. Someone really went to town on him last night. I didn’t know who and I didn’t care. I was quitting.
The thought hit me as soon as I walked through the doors of the club. I might never see this place again. I would also never see Colt again. Not even that could dampen my buzz. I was about to have a real job, a respectable job where I didn’t have to get naked or worry about how much lube to use.
About halfway through the night, I looked up to find Colt standing in front of the bar, dripping. My heart and my body did a flip-flop. Our first meeting after the big rejection.
Goddamn he was hot. His white thermal shirt was nearly transparent and his black leather pants cupped everything. How bad would it be to have one last goodbye kiss? So what if he apologized and said sweet things to me while I was giving him a lap dance. He wouldn’t be the first guy. He also wouldn’t be the first guy to make a promise and then not show up.
I shrugged it off as best I could. I might not be able to have him, but maybe we could have one last hour together. I caught myself reaching out to touch his chest. Instead I shuffled the receipts for the latest liquor purchase.
“What happened to you?”
“There’s this stuff called rain gear.” He grinned. “I don’t have it.”
His smile caught me off guard and made my knees melt. He’d only ever smiled with Becky before. He’d sent me a few half smiles, but never this kind of devastating, hint-of-a-dimple grin. God, he was so hot my nipples hurt.
Even though he’d embarrassed and humiliated me in front of the entire club, twice—once while I was practically naked—I still wanted him. I was doomed. It was a damn good thing I had a new job in a week, otherwise Tate would have fired me because there was no way I could sleep with anyone else. Colt didn’t want me, I knew that, but I wanted him. Even if I was just playing at a relationship, fooling myself in exchange for some hot sex.
“We don’t use rain gear in Southern California. I could order some, but I’ll be out of here before it even arrives. I’m leaving tomorrow.”
The bottle of whiskey slipped in my hand. “Tomorrow?”
I knew he was going to leave. I knew that the patch on the back of his cut was different than everybody else’s. From the moment he walked into my life, I knew it was only temporary, but tomorrow was so soon.
My heart squeezed. I’d never see him again. Tonight was our last night.
“I need your help with something.” He grabbed the tail of his thermal shirt and wrung it out. A little tiny triangle of brown abs peeked out at me as he twisted the material. The water splashed to the floor. “My pants have swollen and the zipper is stuck.”
He gestured toward his crotch and I tried not to look. Really, I tried. His leather pants were soaked completely through, to the point where they’d probably be ruined. They also stuck to every part of him, including his crotch.
“Oh yeah, leather can do that.” I stepped out from behind the bar. A lot of guys had problems with leather pants if they got caught in a rainstorm. I reached out for his fly, but he caught my wrists.
“My room.” It wasn’t a question; it was a demand.
I watched his ass as we climbed the stairs. He was leaving tomorrow. I repeated this to myself with every step. Tonight was going to be our last night and I would make it count.
He held the door open for his room and I followed him in.
I’d been in this particular room about a thousand times, but now it held his smell. It was his room. If I ever walked into this room after he left, I would remember standing right there, next to the bed, with Colt in front of me, staring down into my eyes.
The door closed behind me with a click. Colt walked past me, yanking his shirt over his head. “I need you to help me with the pants, and the belt.”
Stepping even closer to him, I went for his belt. I’d unbuckled so many belts in the last year, I could do it blindfolded, but this one was leather and swollen with water. I yanked it twice. On the third yank, I stumbled sideways and he caught me.
His arms were wet but hot as he held me against him. I laid my cheek on his bare chest and just let him hold me. As shivers rose up and down my back, so did the memory of his words.
“I’ve had my fill.”
“You’re a good person and a good mom.”
Then there was the worst memory of all. “You’re claiming the whore for your old lady then?”
It was always a roller coaster with him. I needed to protect myself better. I wanted him to make me feel pretty and give me orgasms. It was a slippery slope straight into one-sided love.
But after tonight, I would never see him again. I needed just this final goodbye. I trailed my fingers down his chest, but he pushed me back.
“I’m sorry about what happened with Bear,” he whispered.
I was desperate to look into his eyes. But I couldn’t let myself. I couldn’t look at him because I was weak. Because I would think of him saying really nice things in the dance room but then remember that he didn’t stand up to claim me in front of the club. I was tired of him never going quite far enough. That was the problem with Colt—he took me all the way to the edge, but that’s where it ended. Well, that’s where it ended for him. I’d jumped off the cliff long ago, but he just couldn’t do it. I was in love with someone who would never love me enough.
I had to keep focused on the task at hand, his pants. Here I was undressing the man I loved, who had treated me like shit. I tried to stay angry, I swear to God, I tried. But my knuckles brushed against his abs and his skin was hot against my fingers. I imagined undressing him at night; my whole body tingled. I recognized that feeling now—arousal. I wanted him.
I wanted the guy who went to Becky’s dance lesson, who made funny voices during The Wizard of Oz, who woke me up the next day by holding me. But he was also the man who took someone else to his room to hurt me. The man who didn’t have the courage to claim me as his woman.
I gave his pants a good yank and the button popped off. As I reached for his zipper, he caught my wrists. He touched his thumb to his middle finger, holding my wrists loosely.
“My boots first?”
Right. Boots first, then pants. He sat on the bed and I settled on my knees in front of him. I’d knelt in front of a thousand guys, but this time I unlaced his big black combat boots and took them off. The boots were also wet and they made a popping noise when I got them off his feet. I took off his wet socks too. It was so intimate, the kind of thing you would do for someone you cared about, like a girlfriend, or a wife.
Robby had been my husband, but our marriage had been nothing more than a piece of paper. Colt would be a partner. He would care about me and my life and then we would create our life, something together. He just needed the balls to say it.
“You all right?” He frowned. “You stopped.”
Shit. One sock was still hanging off his foot. I’d gotten lost in my little daydream.
I straightened. Time to work his zipper.
Of course the zipper was stuck. I pulled his pants away from his body to give the zipper more play, and it gave way. He pushed his pants and his boxer briefs down to his thighs. His dick, hard, now bobbed in my face. A tiny little bead of moisture on the tip. I wasn’t the only one who was aroused.
I looked up at him and he stared back at me. We both wanted to say goodbye.
My tongue flicked out and I licked the drop. I hadn’t had a chance to taste him before. Salty, a little bitter, delicious. I wanted to know all of him, the way he had known me. If one piece of my heart couldn’t forgive him, I wanted this as a consolation prize.
I closed my lips around his shaft and gave him a long suck. I wanted to love him, to feel him love me. He may not say it, but I could feel it through his body.
He shifted a bit and grabbed my shoulder, pulling me off. “Krista, stop.”
My heart dropped and I backed off.
“I’m sorry, I thought we both wanted...” I waved at his dick standing tall and hard between us. This had been a bad idea. I jumped to my feet and turned to go.
“Wait.” He caught my arm and stuffed himself back into his wet boxers.
He dug something out of the pocket of his pants. He took my hand and placed it in my palm. Wet, crumpled twenties. He was paying me for showing that I loved him.
Tears burned hot down my cheeks and dropped onto the cash. I couldn’t look at him.
“That’s Robby’s money.” He tilted my chin up to look at him. “What’s left of what he stole from you. But this is from me.”
Five hundred-dollar bills. Wet, but perfect. He pressed those into my hand as well. I looked up at him and then back to the money. I thought what was between us had been beyond payment.
He bent close to me and whispered in my ear, “Let me take care of you. Be my girl.”
Be my girl.
My heart stopped. “Be your girl, like girlfriend? Or like girl that you happen to see when you’re in town?”
&nbs
p; It would be so easy. I’d never have to worry about my rent. He would come up to visit on runs and he would give me amazing orgasms. I would never have to worry again.
I leaned my forehead against his chest and he put his arms around me. He was wet, but his skin was warm against mine.
“Krista,” he whispered against my hair. “Don’t think, just feel. Okay?”
He didn’t answer my question. But he placed both hands on my ribs and goose bumps broke out over my body. He ran his fingertips across my back until he found the clasp on my bra. It gave way. I forgot the question.
I needed to explore all of him, every ab, nipple and glorious muscle. I skimmed over his chest, trying to memorize him.
He pushed me back. “Let’s get you undressed.”
He grabbed the hem of my tank top and drew it over my head. My bra fell off my shoulders and landed on top of my shirt. I pushed on his shoulders and made him sit on the bed. It took us a second, but we got his wet underwear off. His dick sprang up. He was still hard and ready for me—not some hooker fantasy. Me.
Might as well put some of my skills to use.
I stepped in between his legs and slowly undid my jeans. Opening the front of my pants, I teased him with a bit of my pink panties. Then I stepped back and turned around, easing my jeans down so he got a nice view of my butt.
I could hear him chuckle. “Can I touch you?” he asked.
I smiled to myself. The answer to that question had always been no. But for Colt... “Yes.”
Bending at the waist, I pushed my jeans down to my ankles. Colt’s finger tracked the crack of my butt. His other hand smoothed across my hip.
“Turn around, babe.”
I stepped out of my jeans and shoes and turned back to him. On his face was raw need. Good. That’s how I was feeling too. I straddled him and balanced on my knees.
I started to grind.
This wasn’t just sex; it was power. He looked at me with such need, like no one else before him. It was power because I knew that need was driven by more than just lust for my body. He loved me. He wanted me, the person—not the whore.
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