by Jennie Adams
He paused to draw a breath. ‘Why haven’t you retired yet, anyway? You’ve got to be past retirement age.’
‘Compliments, compliments.’ She tucked his arm into hers, and with that they began the slow ascent to Henry’s first-floor bedroom. ‘Maybe I haven’t found anyone I’d like to spend my retirement with. I miss my Bert. It would take a special kind of man to replace him.’
Henry’s eyes narrowed in contemplation. ‘Or maybe just to understand that he’s gone, and be a friend, eh?’
Nate frowned after them. ‘I think my grandfather just stated his intentions to pursue his nurse.’
Chrissy raised a brow, a grin forming on her face. ‘I think you may be right about that.’ Her smile faded and she sighed. ‘I hope he’s going to be all right. At least Margaret is cooperating with the police. She was quite willing to tell them everything she knew, contact names, details of the items she stole and from whom…’
‘Margaret is trying to do the right thing now, in her own way. She’ll always be selfish and vain, but maybe she’ll find a way to be happier with herself.’
Nate paused. ‘It hurt you to learn of Henry’s gambling, didn’t it?’ He closed the sitting-room door and drew her down onto the couch. ‘I’m sorry your idol turned out to have feet of clay, Chrissy. I know that must have been hard to hear.’
‘It was.’ In that first moment that Henry had admitted the truth, she had felt sick inside. Betrayed. Because she had looked up to him and thought of him as almost a surrogate father, and hadn’t wanted him to let her down. ‘I guess all people have failings.’
And who was she to judge Henry for his? ‘He’s still a good man, Nate. One of the best. He reacted that way because he needed Margaret to love him and she failed him.’
‘Like your parents failed you?’ He took her hands in his, stroked his thumbs across her knuckles. ‘Tell me what happened, Chrissy, and why there’s guilt in your eyes sometimes when you look at your sisters. And why it is that sometimes when they reveal they love you, you almost seem as though you think you don’t deserve it? I know you love them in return, so…what is it?’
Only someone who cared deeply could have seen so much about her. In truth, she had worked very hard to hide the whole truth even from herself. Chrissy bit her lip.
‘Trust me with it, Chrissy. Please.’ His hands tightened on hers, and his eyes gazed deep into hers with such honesty, such promise, that she almost cried out.
‘Because, you see—’ he hesitated, took a deep breath and then plunged on ‘—I’ve realised that I’m in love with you, and, no matter what else we have to deal with to get there, I want to marry you and keep you in my life. I want to get rid of the barriers, Chrissy, so we can be together.
‘I’ve been afraid, too, you see. That I would ruin our relationship if I stayed.’ His chest expanded on a deep breath. ‘But tonight has showed me it’s not about that. Leaving Henry didn’t help. It only made it worse, because he loved me and needed me, and I needed him.
‘I realise now that I can care for him and it will only do him good, no matter what else is happening in his life at the time. I want to care for you the same way. I’m hoping that you might love me, too.’
‘You want to care for me because of the baby.’ Because of the child they had made, Chrissy told herself. Not because he loved her. Wanted her. He felt affection, not love. Not the real kind. The forever kind.
‘You could have lost the baby in that car accident today.’ His mouth tightened in pained remembrance. ‘When I first got there, I don’t know what happened to me, Chrissy, but Gertie…I thought you couldn’t possibly have survived. She looked like a write-off. I guess because of my fear.’
He released her hands. Laid his gently over the flat tummy that even now cherished their child. ‘I didn’t want to have lost our baby, but I feared it. Most of all, I didn’t want to have lost you. Marry me, Christianna Gable, and I will make you happy.’
His throat worked. ‘We can be happy together, Chrissy, if we love each other. I’ve realised that now.’
It was a plea from his heart. She recognised that immediately, and if Nate was brave enough to put his past behind him and reach out for happiness with her, then she had to at least try to help him understand all that drove her. All that formed her feelings and thoughts about life and relationships.
She wanted a future with Nate. More than anything. But would she be enough to hold him and keep him happy? The only way to find out was to expose all her failings. If he still wanted her after that…
‘I don’t know if my problem is resolvable, Nate, but I want you to hear it, because I love you, too.’ The liberation of simply putting it into words brought tears to her eyes. ‘I love you and I do want a life with you. I’m just still not sure it’s possible.’
‘I’ll help you to believe it.’ He brought his mouth to hers. Kissed the taste of tears from her lips, wrapped his arms around her and stilled, his face buried in her hair. ‘Talk to me. Let me into this last stronghold, and maybe we can break it down together.’
‘All right.’ She took a fortifying breath, drew back a little so she could look into his eyes as she talked.
‘First of all, Bella and Soph believe that our parents left all of us because they just got sick of parenting.’ She shuddered, and forced herself to continue the confession. ‘But I was the one who ultimately drove them away. The one who was not bright enough, not talented enough, not interesting enough.’
She feigned an unaffected shrug. ‘In comparison, Bella and Soph were always beautiful and artistic and remarkable. Our parents left all of us because they couldn’t stand me. Had to get away from me, and I’ve never had the courage to tell my sisters the truth.’
A breath shuddered out, then another. ‘I was afraid that Bella and Soph would be angry and leave me, too. Sometimes, when I look at them, I think about what they’ve lost because of me, and I feel guilty because they’ve lost it, and yes, I guess I feel less talented, less appealing, but I’ve tried to accept that. I love my sisters, and the rest is just…the way it is.’
‘They’re not better than you. Not more beautiful or talented or special or anything else!’ The deep anger in his eyes demanded her attention. ‘Have you looked at yourself? Really looked?’ He flung a frustrated hand out. ‘Have you looked inside your heart? Why do you think your sisters love you so much? It’s because there’s so much to love!’
Before she could attempt to respond, he went on.
‘Your parents were stupid and selfish to leave.’ His fists clenched. ‘I don’t know why they did it, but that was their fault, Chrissy. Not yours. And if they left because they thought you weren’t as good or as special as the others, then they were twice the fools I already think them.’
His arms locked around her, as though he could hug away the years of hurt and confusion and blame if he simply held on long enough.
She fought back tears and forced herself to examine her thoughts, the feelings she had hidden away in places that might never have seen light if not for him. ‘I’m not sure I know how you knew and understood all that, but I won’t deny it. I guess I’m going to have to reassess my self-image a bit.’
The remainder of his anger drained away, and his arms relaxed a little. ‘We’ve both been foolish, blaming ourselves for things that were out of our control.’
‘Like your mother, and the problem with Margaret and Henry.’ She nodded. ‘Bella still had to take on a lot of responsibility, though, and Soph was so young.’
‘And you all stuck together and came out of it stronger and better. Like I should have stuck with Henry.’ His mouth lifted at one corner. A tiny whisper of tender encouragement. ‘But in truth, don’t you think if they only wanted to leave you, your parents would have simply shoved you into a boarding-school, taken the others and run? Have you ever considered that?’
At first, the idea was simply incomprehensible. Then she realised it was possible. ‘I guess I could discuss it with Soph and Bella.
I’ve always believed they incorrectly assumed that our parents found all of us wanting. But maybe that wasn’t true.
‘In any case, I do want to let it go. That stuff has no part in my future, except for me to learn from it and choose to be a better person than either of my parents was.’
‘So let it go with me.’ His face softened, and he swallowed hard before he spoke. ‘I want it all with you, Chrissy. The house in the suburbs.’ His hand dropped to cover her tummy again. ‘Children. Family. I want to stay right here and build that with you. Please, say you’ll marry me.’
‘I will.’ Tears rushed to her eyes and she flung herself into his arms. ‘I will marry you. I can’t imagine life without you now, but Nate, you don’t have to stay. If you hate the idea of working here—’
‘Of being among the people who taught me all I know about shipping? Who were kind to me and treated me as their own?’ He shook his head.
‘They really are like family, Chrissy, and if I stay I get to have that, plus you and our child, plus Henry close by and your sisters for sisters-in-law. Only a fool would leave, and I’ve had enough of being a fool.’ He hesitated. ‘Unless you have a hankering to travel?’
She pushed her owlish glasses up her nose, then on a spurt of defiance tugged them off. ‘Maybe one day. For now I’d rather start that life with you right here. What about Paul Erickson? You promised him a job.’
‘He’ll have to accept that I’ll be overall manager, but, if he’s still willing, we’ll share the work. I’d like to have someone there who really knows his stuff, and Erickson does.’
‘That sounds like a plan.’
He smiled. ‘Only part of the plan. You see, I want to be able to spend time with my wife.’ His face became thoughtful. ‘If you want to keep working, will you go part-time and move up? Work on the more managerial stuff? A lot of your talent is wasted where you are now.’
‘Are you sure you’re not saying that because you don’t want me working with the handsome and appealing Mr Erickson?’
‘How do you know…?’ He broke off when he realised she was teasing him.
She twirled her glasses in her hand. ‘Oh, I think I have a few ideas about you, Mr Nate Barrett.’
He took her glasses from her and tossed them onto the sofa. ‘OK, but I want you to take the change of job.’
‘If it means I get to work with the boss,’ she grinned, ‘I will.’
He returned the grin. ‘So, no barriers remaining between us, hmm? Just how much do you need those lenses, anyway?’
‘Not much.’ She stifled a smile. ‘In fact, the last two times I’ve visited the optometrist, I’ve had a hard time convincing her to give me even the lightest prescription. Whatever small problem I had with my eyes as a teen, it’s fixed itself. I was just hiding behind them, for the most part.’
A rather hungry smile crossed his lips. ‘Maybe just reading glasses, then, so I can have fun taking them off you now and again.’
Now, there was an idea. Chrissy decided she liked it. A lot.
On the same note, she pulled the pins from her hair and let it fall around her shoulders. ‘Maybe I should get this cut, too. A short bob, or something. Although I’m only just starting to get used to the idea that I kind of like my hair. My mother didn’t like the curls, you see, or the colour, or pretty much anything about it. But did you know it feels quite sensual when it’s down? Especially against bare skin.’
He groaned. Closed his eyes as if he was in pain, then opened them to sear her with a hungry look. ‘If you want to cut your hair, if you need to do that, I won’t stop you.’
‘But?’
‘But I think it’s beautiful, and if it makes you feel sexy, you have no idea what it does to me. I’ve got about a thousand ways to show you, though.’
‘Then I guess I’ll keep it long.’ She grinned, thinking of the ways she could tease him with those long locks. Thinking of the stunned expression he had shown the first time he saw it unrestrained. ‘For the time being, anyway.’
‘And you’ll marry me and make lots more great-grandbabies for Henry with me?’
‘Well, you’d have to define lots. I don’t know that I’m ready for a football team.’ Her smile wobbled a bit. ‘Actually, I have enough trouble keeping my plants alive. What if I’m not a good mother, Nate?’
‘You will be.’ He said it fiercely. ‘And I’ll help you look after the plants, or we can take them to a plant doctor or something. There are bound to be specialists out there….’
He trailed off and his expression became even more serious. ‘You’re my world. If it was only ever the two of us, it would be more than I had dreamed of. I love you, Chrissy. I love our baby, too, but he or she is an unexpected bonus. One we’ll love and care for together with any others we may have.’
‘I love you, too.’ Her voice dropped to a loving whisper. ‘And I like the idea of being your wife.’
‘I like the idea of being your husband.’ He tugged her to her feet and swung her into his arms. He stopped twirling her before she had a chance to get dizzy. Smiled sheepishly. ‘I don’t want to upset the baby.’
One last thing filtered through her mind. And it was kind of a big thing, although not particularly important. ‘Since when have you owned the overseas arm of the company?’
He looked away, avoiding her glance, and mumbled into his chin, ‘Um, that would be since I left six years ago and Henry insisted I take it over so I’d be sure of a good income and future.’
‘I see.’ She tapped the toe of her shoe on the ground. ‘And just how good is that income? Just how rosy is that…future?’
‘Well, you see, I’ve worked really hard at it because I didn’t have anything else to fill my life, and so—’
‘Nate.’
He pursed his lips and turned a rather endearing shade of blushing man. ‘I’ve sort of made it a multi-million-dollar concern.’
‘Oh. Is that all?’ She laughed at the expression of first surprise, then relief on his face. Then her laughter faded and she cupped his face and let her love for him shine in her eyes. ‘You do realise you’re going to have a bit of work ahead of you in order to get Bella back on side?’
He nodded. Grinned. ‘Yeah, but I get two sisters out of this. That’s more than enough compensation for her hating me for a while.’
‘I’m glad you’re looking on the bright side.’ She paused, smiled again because he was just so wonderful and she loved him so much. ‘And I don’t think it would be a good idea to let Sophia near you with a pair of clippers any time soon, either.’
His grin broadened. ‘I’ll take your advice to heart and keep my hair away from her until she simmers down.’
Chrissy played her final card. ‘Joe will give you the third degree, once I tell him I’m going to marry you.’
‘I don’t like Joe.’
She watched him struggle.
Finally, he growled, ‘But I’ll try to be nice for your sake.’
Then she pressed close, laid her hand over his heart and felt her own swell with warmth and love and longing. ‘Will you always resent strange men who take me out and hug and kiss me?’
‘Always.’ His mouth dropped to hers, and in the ravishment that followed he made it a pledge to love and cherish her forever. ‘Except they won’t be taking you out, because you’ll be busy going out with me.’
She let her heart fill. This was right. She and Nate and their baby. They would build a life together, weather the tough times and rejoice in the good. ‘I’m glad you came to rescue your grandfather after the stroke, even if I didn’t appreciate your presence at the time.’
‘I’m glad, too, even if you frustrated me from the moment we met.’ He pressed her body to his and groaned. ‘Speaking of which, I really want to take you to bed.’
Chrissy gave a mischievous smile. ‘So take me to the cottage. Unless you want to go parking in the convertible and finish what we started that night of the storm?’
Nate was tempted. Oh, he w
as tempted! His body had a number of ideas about how he could make that particular fantasy pleasurable for both of them. But not tonight.
After shouting goodbye up the staircase and raising an eyebrow at the giggles coming from upstairs—from two mouths, not one—he hurried Chrissy outside and into his car. ‘It appears that my grandfather is enjoying that crossword puzzle.’
‘I can think of a few erotic things I’d like to try out with you.’ She said it with an air of innocence, but Nate saw through it.
He growled. Hurried their pace. ‘We’ll go parking another night and we’ll find our own place soon, but for now, I know of this cottage hideaway in the suburbs….’
And so they went.
EPILOGUE
CHRISSY thought it was lovely of Nate—and clever—to insist that, while Gertie was in the repair shop, she and her sisters have the convertible to drive.
Soph was inclined to forgive all after her first trip with the top down, but Nate still steered clear of her clippers, just in case.
Bella was more of a challenge. For several days after discovering Chrissy’s pregnancy, Bella had done little but drink copious quantities of Chai, glare at Nate any time he came into view and sew furiously.
She did eventually condescend to drive Nate’s car. And she stood on the pavement in their little group now, dressed in a brand-new, even more form-fitting midnight catsuit. They were waiting for Joe to bring the refurbished Gertie out of his repair shop for inspection.
‘What’s keeping Joe? I’m dying to see our Gertie again. I’ve missed her.’ Soph gave her metallic peach hair a swish, studied the ends and glanced at her sisters with a worried expression. ‘Do you really think this colour looks all right on me?’
‘Yes.’ They said it in unison.
Bella shook her head at Soph, then she looked at Chrissy’s middle and sighed.
