by A. E. Wasp
“Put me down!”
He squeezed her until she squeaked, then did as she asked. She peeked around him, raising her eyebrows. “And who is this handsome hunk of a man?” Jean Bonura may have been tiny, but she was a knockout beauty, even at sixty. And she appreciated handsome men as much as Troy did.
“Nonnie Jean, this is my friend, Dmitri.”
She gave him a look over her glasses, one eyebrow raised. “Friend?”
He blushed, caught out. He’d often thought his grandmother had known he was gay, but they’d never discussed it.
“Sean,” she called over her shoulder. “Get out here and meet your uncle’s friend.” She put just the smallest emphasis on the word friend.
A kid Troy barely recognized came out of the kitchen. He hadn’t seen Sean in his short-lived trip home after getting out of the army. He’d been somewhere; Troy couldn’t remember if anyone had ever told him where.
Tall and skinny, dark-skinned with hair darker and wavier than Troy’s, Sean wore tight black jeans and a black t-shirt dusted with flour. The height and skin were a genetic gift from his father.
Mary and Fahrad had never married, but Farhad had stuck around after graduating from the University of Pennsylvania with an engineering degree. Troy liked him, but they’d never been close. Sean must be about twenty now; Troy realized with a shock.
“Hey.” Mouth a thin line; Sean lifted his chin at Troy. His eyes slid over to Dmitri, and he checked him over from his blond hair to the checkered Vans on his feet. “Hey.” Dmitri at least got a smile.
“Hey,” Dmitri replied, with a look to Troy.
Mary came down the stairs, drying her hands on her jeans. Troy looked up at her. “We need to talk,” they said simultaneously.
Dmitri picked up the shopping bags. “I’ll make myself useful in the kitchen. Sean, want to show me where to put this stuff?”
“Absolutely.”
With a backward glance at Troy, Dmitri followed the kid into the kitchen.
chapter six - haul out the holly
A half and hour later, Dmitri sat at the kitchen table rolling tortellini while Nonnie Jean critiqued his technique.
“Cut him some slack, Nonnie,” Troy said as he slipped into the kitchen. “It’s his first time.”
Jean picked up one of the finished balls of cheese-stuffed pasta and examined it closely. “Well, all things considered, it’s not bad. He’s got good hands, your friend.” She took one of Dmitri’s hands, turning it over to examine his fingers and palm. “Are you an artist?”
“I’m a vet. A veterinarian.”
“Ooh, a doctor. Very nice.” This was directed to Troy.
Did everyone know he was gay? How could they know when he had just admitted it to himself not that long ago? He knows now that Mary, at least, has had her suspicions since he was a child. He had to admit; it felt great to tell her and to be able to gush freely over how good-looking Dmitri was.
“Can I borrow Dmitri for a moment?”
Jean puts her hand on his arm. “Well, if you promise to bring him back.”
“Scout’s honor.”
Dmitri stands up. “I promise I’ll be back. This is too much fun to skip out on.”
Troy pulled Dmitri outside by the shirtsleeve. “Your nephew is totally gay,” was the first thing Dmitri said when the door shut.
“Yeah. I know. And I found out why he wasn’t here when I got back out of the army. He was at a gay conversion camp he dad sent him to.” The blood rose again in Troy’s face, pounding in his ears. He wanted to find Farhad and beat him.
Mary hadn’t given him any details about what had happened, just that she had found out only after Sean had been gone. She’d had to get the police involved to get him back. It had been very, very ugly. Because Sean was legally an adult, his father had gotten him declared incompetent. Nobody had mentioned it to Troy because nobody had known.
“She kept it a secret?” Dmitri looked shocked. “My family would have been up in arms.”
Troy sighs and his shoulders sagged. He lowered himself to sit on the stoop, head resting in his hands. “She was scared. It was right around the time Leo was beaten to death for being gay. Remember I told you about that?”
“As if I could ever forget. Good Lord.” Dmitri sat down next to him, both of them ignoring the cold cement seeping through their jeans. The sun set behind the house. Any minute, his mom would shoo him and his brothers off to get dressed for dinner.
“She didn’t want anyone to think he was gay.”
“But he is, right? I mean…”
“Yeah. And she knows about me. She wants me to ‘talk’ to him.”
“About what?”
Troy shook his head. “I don’t know. How can I know?” He looked up to the darkening sky, then around the familiar yard. It was if he was seeing it for the first time. “She said after realizing that Sean was gay, she knew I was, too. She said she’s always known, just hoped it would…go away or something.”
Dmitri snorted. “I think your grandmother knows, too. She’s pretty sharp. She’s been grilling me, subtly, about our ‘friendship.’ And in front of Sean, too.”
“Yeah. Well. Worst kept secret in West Virginia, I guess.”
“Are you going to come out?”
Troy pushed himself up, pacing around the front yard. “I have to. I mean, the shit Sean’s probably heard at that place. And I know how it is to grow up here. He’s only six years younger than me, you know? Not a lot has changed. I feel like if I don’t come out, then what’s going to happen to him? How will he know it’s okay to be himself? That’s he’s not wrong or disgusting?”
Dmitri stood in front of Troy, stopping his pacing. “Hey.” He put his hands on Troy’s shoulder. “I know I’ve been pushing this. But that was before I met your family.”
“What’s wrong with my family?”
“Nothing! Nothing at all. I love your grandmother. I like Jean. I liked the whole family. It’s just. I mean, I knew you were Italian. At least half. I just didn’t know how Italian. They are, like, full-on Catholic Church Italian. Saints and Madonnas in the house Italian. You don’t get a lot of that in Colorado.”
“So?” Troy crossed his arms over his chest.
“So, I’m saying, your family dynamic is different than mine. Your brothers are a little rougher than mine. More macho. And the whole area is more conservative. What worked for me, won’t necessarily work for you. And I just wanted you to know, I support whatever decision you make on when, if, and how to come out to your family. From being just a friend to full on sex under the Christmas tree.”
Troy barked a laugh. “It is a big tree.”
“That’s what I’m saying. And so pretty with all those lights. I’m glad you’re a multi-colored, blinking lights family.”
“We alternate that, too. With Church. You are getting the full-on Bonura Feast of the Seven Fishes Christmas.”
“Well, I’m loving it.”
The night sounds filled the cold air. Tree frogs are chirping despite the cold. The noise of the highway over the hill and the faint train whistle carried on the crisp air.
“What am I gonna do?” Troy asked softly.
“Come here.” Dmitri pulled him into a hug, a hand on the back of his head. “I don’t know. But you’ll figure it out.”
A car pulled around the corner, and they sprang apart seconds before it coasted to a stop in front of Troy’s parents’ house.
A pretty young woman got out of the car, her arms full of foil-wrapped food containers. “Hey, Troy! Am I too early?”
“Not a bit, Charlene.” With a backward glance to Dmitri, Troy walked over to her and took some of the packages out of her hands. “I forgot Mom told me you might be coming. Where’s Patti? I hear she and Davy are dating?”
“I think it’s more of a friends with benefits thing. She might stop by later.”
“You look great.” She did. The pretty high school girl had grown into a classy looking woman. Her blond
hair shone, and her red dress highlighted her knockout figure.
“You’re looking pretty handsome yourself. You beating the girls off with a stick out there in Colorado?”
Was she flirting with him? He laughed nervously. “Ah, no. Not really. Kind of busy.”
“So no girlfriend?”
She was definitely flirting. Oh god. “No. No girlfriend.” He forced a smile and held himself back from turning to Dmitri.
Dmitri came and stood next to him anyway. “Hi. I’m Dmitri. Troy’s friend from Red Deer.” He reached over Troy’s arm to shake her hand.
“Charlene. Troy and I went to school together. Our whole lives.” She gave him a firm handshake.
“Oh, that’s fun. My best friend Angel and I met in middle school.”
“Umm hmm.” She looked the two of them over thoroughly, weighing them up in her mind. Her eyes narrowed, then she smiled. “You guys are good friends?”
“Yes.”
“Well, there goes that. And I owe my sister five dollars.” She turned to Troy. “Is he good to you, Troy?”
If ever Troy knew what a deer felt when those headlights hit, it was now. “Um. Yes? He’s a good friend?”
She tilted her head and smiled at them.
It was a good smile, Troy decided. Genuine.
“Good. Then I’m happy for you. And it’s good to meet you, Dmitri.” A cold breeze blew across their small group, and Charlene shivered. “I sure wish your Momma had told me you were bringing a friend.” She gave friend the same emphasis Nonnie Jean had given it. “I would have worn jeans and a sweatshirt. It’s colder than a witch’s tit out here. I’m going inside.” She matched action to words and headed towards the door.
Dmitri and Troy followed in her wake. Troy’s mouth hung open, and Dmitri wasn’t working very hard to swallow his laughter. “Definitely the worst-kept secret in West Virginia. I want her to meet Angel.”
Troy couldn’t answer. So many thoughts swirled around in his head.
chapter seven - in the bleak midwinter
Dmitri straightened his tie and gave his hair one last run through with the comb. “I thought you were crazy when you told me to bring dress clothes. Now I’m worried that I’m underdressed.” He’d worn a basic hunter-green, button-down shirt and a pair of work slacks. At least he’d brought actual dress shoes. “Colorado formal dress means wearing your pants with the part from the knee down zippered in and putting socks on with your sandals.”
“You look amazing. I’m probably gonna have to beat my grandma off with a stick.”
“That is just so wrong. Though she is kind of a hottie. I’m surprised she never remarried after your grandfather died.”
“She said she was done with men. She had her kids, she lived that life, now it’s her turn. She’s got an RV, and she travels around with her snowbird friends.”
“Good on her.”
“Ready to go face the crowd?” Troy pushed the bathroom door shut with his foot. He pulled Dmitri’s head down for a kiss.
It was a long kiss, a good kiss, and had Dmitri seriously considering pushing Troy up against the bathroom door. But given the number of people that been flooding into the house over the last hour and the number of bathrooms in the house, he figured they didn’t have long before somebody started pounding on the door to be let in.
Reluctantly, he pulled back from the kiss. “Merry Christmas,” he said with a hand on Troy’s chest.
“Merry Christmas. Our first.” Troy smiled from ear to ear.
“Here’s to many more.” Being in love had turned Dmitri into a worse sap than he could have ever imagined. And worst of all, he didn’t seem to mind. Being with Troy made him want to curl up on the couch under a blanket and watch Lifetime movies. Made him want to walk hand-in-hand in the sand by a beach somewhere. Made him want to get matching tattoos. He’d never expected this kind of thing to happen to him and now that it had, he couldn’t imagine living without it.
Traditional Christmas carols by long-dead singers played softly in the living room as Dmitri followed Troy down the stairs. He stopped dead in the doorway between the hall and the living room. The house had been decorated for Christmas yesterday when they got there, of course, but now Troy’s parents had pulled out all the stops. “Oh, my God. This looks amazing. It’s like a Hallmark movie!”
Tables shimmered with crystal and polished silver, the gold accents on the mismatched china reflecting the candlelight, and a huge buffet table covered in food from end to end. Presents were heaped under the tree in shiny red, gold, and green foil. The house was full of people dressed in their Christmas best talking, laughing, and smiling with each other.
There was an actual fire in the fireplace that was actually draped with fresh pine garland, and Christmas stockings hung from the mantel. The stockings had each of the Johnson family members’ names on them. A smaller stocking, not quite matching the others, hung next to Troy’s. As Dmitri looked closer, he could see it had the word Sweetie written on it in gold glitter.
He nudged Troy with his elbow. “Look who’s a part of the family.”
Troy walked closer to the fireplace, Sweetie at his side. He smiled when he saw the stocking. “Hey, Sweetie. Looks like you’ve been a good doggie this year. Santa’s got some presents for you.”
Sean walked up to them carrying a tray of champagne flutes. Even he was dressed up for the holiday in a nice red shirt with black pinstripes, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His black jeans had been replaced by a pair of charcoal gray slacks.
“Hey, guys. Merry Christmas. Champagne?”
“Merry Christmas.” Dmitri took a glass of the offered champagne. “This, this is amazing. Is it always like this? Every Christmas Eve?”
Troy and Sean looked around at the beautifully decorated room, the loaded table, the happy crowd, and they both shrugged. “Pretty much,” Troy said. “Christmas Eve at the Johnson’s. You’re lucky the whole extended Bonura clan isn’t here. My mom has five brothers and sisters who each have a passel of kids.”
“Where are they then?” Dmitri asked.
“Oh, you’ll meet them tomorrow. No one actually has a house large enough for everyone to fit, so we just do a kind of round-robin thing on Christmas Day. After presents.” He downed his glass of champagne in one long sip, put it back on the tray Sean carried, and grabbed another one. “Come on.” He put his hand on Dmitri’s back high up between his shoulder blades. “We’re going in.”
The next half an hour was a blur of introductions and reintroductions. He met Paul Junior, or Paulie as the family called him. He met a few more friends of the family and found himself telling the story of how he and Troy had met more than a few times.
Teresa must have let everyone know about Sweetie, since beyond a few curious glances, nobody really asked about her. Dmitri caught a couple of people staring at him and looking between him and Troy speculatively. Worst kept secret in West Virginia, for sure. Maybe Troy coming out wouldn’t be as big of a deal as he was worried about.
The actual dinner exceeded all of Dmitri’s very high expectations. He felt a small sense of pride when people praised the tortellini soup that was apparently the Johnson family tradition. It made him happy to know that he had a hand in creating it, no matter how small his contribution had been. Maybe he should start learning how to cook. Maybe he and Troy could make tortellini for their Christmas celebration next year. Maybe he was getting the cart way before the horse thinking about next year.
Conversation flowed with the wine, and Dmitri learned a lot about this part of West Virginia, the shrinking job market, the loss of solid middle-class careers, how many of the local young men and women had joined the military in the face of limited post-high school options.
Troy’s experiecne wasn’t anything special in this neck of the woods. They were just glad he had come home in one piece. Not all of them did.
He also learned that Troy’s brother Davey was kind of a dick.
Two years younger than Troy, D
avey was the same kind of frat boy dude bro Dmitri and Troy dealt with every day at the bar. He also seemed to have some kind of grudge against Troy and never missed an opportunity to pick at him, correct him, or in any way point out some perceived lack.
Case in point.
“Yeah, no, but I mean, PTSD isn’t like a real injury. I mean, normally guys who have those dogs have, like, one leg, or no arms. You just like what, a little jumpy?” He mock-lunged across the table at Troy, spilling some of the seemingly endless red wine he drank with dinner. He laughed at the sour look on Troy’s face.
Dmitri could sense the comeback Troy was fighting not to say. He reached down and pet Sweetie where she lay between his and Troy’s chairs.
Paul stood up from his spot at the end of the table. “Boys, help me clear off this table. I think your mother said it’s time for coffee and dessert. Then people will have time to go home before Church.”
Like so many other Christmas Eves, Troy and his siblings were the last men (and woman) sitting at the table.
Their mom and Nonnie had gone upstairs for their pre-church nap. In the kitchen, Dad emptied and loaded the dishwasher. He’d declined Dmitri’s offer of help, claiming he needed some alone time after all that company.
Checking with Troy if he minded, Dmitri had sacked out on the couch in the living room. Troy said he’d expected Dmitri to make a run for it after two days of continuous company. Moving ten feet away didn’t seem like too much to ask.
Sleep tugged at Dmitri as he sat stretched out on the couch in a slight food coma. The lights from the Christmas tree danced across the ceiling and walls, the flames of the candles flickering as they burned down to stubs. Sweetie snored in front the low-glow of the fireplace, adding to the drowsy ambiance of the room. Orchestral and choral arrangements of Christmas hymns played softly from a radio on a table near the tree.
Charlene and Tina still hung around as well, helping them finish off the desserts and coffee. Tina sat next to Davey; judging by body language she was less than thrilled with the amount of wine he kept drinking and the crap that was coming out of his mouth. Tina had her arms crossed over her chest, and her legs crossed at the knee.
