by A. E. Wasp
As quickly as Jay-Cee could, he said his goodbyes and ushered Chris out. “Is your car here?” Jay-Cee asked.
“Yeah, but is it okay if you drive? I can come back and get the car tomorrow.”
“Absolutely.”
Once they were buckled in Jay-Cee’s Expedition, he paused with the car in reverse. “Am I taking you to your apartment or my apartment?”
Chris looked down at his hands and picked at the cuticles on his thumb. “I don’t know. I don’t care.”
Jay-Cee had no intention of letting Chris out his sight for a while, so where would be best for both of them? “Fair enough. Let’s go to your apartment. That way I don’t have to drive you home later.” And that way he wouldn’t be able to give in to the urge to lock Chris into his apartment and never let him leave.
He had to get a hold of himself. What he felt for Chris couldn’t possibly be love, it was mostly like a mix of adrenaline, confusion, lust. If it was love, then he was truly, royally, fucked.
“Sounds good.” Chris leaned his head against the seat back and closed his eyes.
“Don’t go to sleep,” Jay-Cee said. “I don’t know where you live.”
Where Chris lived wasn’t the nicest part of town. Tired old apartment buildings with faded brick or peeling paint lined the streets. Old pickup trucks outnumbered the cars, and grass grew up through the cracks in the asphalt parking lots.
Jay-Cee knew the jobs he offered didn’t pay a huge amount, but he did try to pay his assistants enough to live in town. Maybe he should check around and see if rents had gone up.
Although, he wasn’t sure money was the issue for Chris. Sometimes he got the feeling that Chris had money from another source, or that he came from money. The literature he quoted, his familiarity with opera, all pointed to the same kind of prep school education Jay-Cee had experienced. Then there was the fact that his paychecks often remained uncashed until Jay-Cee asked him to please deposit them so he could balance his accounts.
Outside of giving directions, Chris didn’t speak for the entire twenty-minute drive. He stared out the side window.
Inexplicably, Jay-Cee found himself getting angry now that his first rush of fear had passed. He pulled into the parking lot of Chris’s small fourplex and threw the car into park with more force than necessary.
Chris unbuckled his seatbelt and popped the door open. “Thanks for the ride,” he said as he prepared to slide out of the SUV.
Jay-Cee grabbed his arm. “Where are you going?”
Chris looked at him like he was crazy. “Home?”
“Not by yourself, you aren’t. Wait.” Jay-Cee unbuckled and got out of the vehicle. He walked around to the passenger’s side and pulled Chris’s door open, holding it until Chris got out of the car and stood next to him, waiting. “Okay.”
They walked up the dark stairway to Chris’s second-floor apartment.
Inside the small apartment, light streamed from the kitchen windows, illuminating the cramped living area. A closed door limned in light faced into the living room, and a small hallway led to another a bathroom and a bedroom.
Through the kitchen windows, Jay-Cee saw the golden field and the white tops of the foothills receding into the distance, and he knew why Chris had chosen this apartment despite the neighborhood.
“Nice lighting,” Jay-Cee commented.
Chris stood in the middle of the room as if waiting for something. Exhaustion radiated from him, and Jay-Cee had no defenses left to muster against what his heart and body were telling him he needed to do.
Gesturing for Chris to follow him, he walked to the small couch and sat down. Chris trailed behind him. Jay-Cee spread his legs and pointed to a spot on the floor between them. Chris bent his knees and folded himself down on the thin beige carpeting, resting his head against Jay-Cee’s thigh with a sigh.
With his hand on Chris’s head, he could feel the slight tremors still running through his body. He ran his fingers through Chris’s hair as much as to buy himself some time to gather his thoughts as to calm the boy down.
There were a couple of ways this could go. There was the rational way where Jay-Cee made sure Chris was okay, maybe made him a cup of tea and something to eat, and they sat and talked across the safe distance of the kitchen table. That was what should happen.
But if that had been going to happen, he wouldn’t be sitting here on Chris’s couch, with Chris kneeling between his spread legs. Jay-Cee needed this maybe more than Chris did. And they were going to have to talk about what they were doing. Jay-Cee pet Chris, running his fingers through his hair, down the graceful nape of his neck and the soft down there.
Finally, Chris broke the silence. “Is Benny going to be okay?” He rubbed his hand absently on Jay-Cee’s shin.
Jay-Cee’s anger flared, and he damped it down quickly. Anger had always been a cold thing in him, the same with fear, but Chris made his blood burn. Enough of this despair and gloom. He wanted Chris to burn with him.
He grabbed a handful of Chris’s hair on the back of Chris’s head and tugged it sharply, forcing Chris to look at him. Decision made. Chris needed it, and Jay-Cee needed to give it to him.
Chris exhaled sharply. Eyes wide, he settled back on his heels.
“Do you want this?” Jay-Cee asks. “Do you still want me? Even like this?”
“God, yes.” Chris’s hands clenched on his thighs.
Energy crackled between them. “Are you sure you know what you’re asking for?”
Jay-Cee’s fingers still clenched in his hair, Chris shuffled around on his knees to face Jay-Cee and nodded, licking his lips.
“Use your words,” Jay-Cee said. “I need to hear you say it.”
“Yes. I want this.” Chris’s voice was sure and steady. “I want you. You know I do.”
Oh very young, Jay-Cee thought before releasing his grip in Chris’s hair and leaned back on the couch. He would take such good care of Chris. “Then hands behind your back.”
Chris complied quickly, grasping his wrists against his lower back.
God, he was so beautiful. Jay-Cee’s breath caught in his throat, and he gripped the back of the couch. He schooled his face to remain impassive, something he’d had a lot of practice doing. How to start? Jay-Cee couldn’t remember ever being with someone so innocent like this. Chris was a born sub, and he doubted Chris even knew.
But maybe he was underestimating Chris again. As Chris had pointed out, there was a lot they didn’t know about each other. Jay-Cee leaned forward, running his finger up Chris’s throat. He grabbed Chris’s chin with two fingers and tilted his head up.
Chris grunted in surprise, eyes dilating.
“Have you ever done this before? Submitted to anyone else?”
Jay-Cee felt Chris swallow, and his eyelids fluttered shut as if just saying the word did something to him. “No,” he croaked. He opened his eyes and looked directly into Jay-Cee’s. “Never wanted to for anybody else.”
Now it was Jay-Cee’s turn to close his eyes against the fierce want in Chris’s expression, and the turmoil in his heart. Love and lust and want and need and it all spiraled down to a beautiful golden boy on his knees for Jay-Cee. He didn’t know if he would survive this. But what a beautiful way to burn.
“Good,” Jay-Cee ground out, voice gruff. “But we’ll start slow then.” God, where to start? How to explain quickly so he could get his hands on Chris. They didn’t need a checklist. This wasn’t some scene between strangers. This was them.
He caressed Chris’s face, then pulled his jaw down, holding Chris’s mouth open while took possession of it.
Chris gave as good as he got but kept his hands clenched behind his back. They were both breathing heavily when Jay-Cee pulled away. “I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do,” he said. “But I also won’t let you lie to yourself or me about what you really want. It’s my job to know what you need better than you do, to push past what you think you should want, past those lines society draws between acceptable
and deviant desires. Do you understand?”
Chris’s whole body shuddered, and Jay-Cee saw the hard line of his erection running down his thigh, trapped under his jeans. It had to be uncomfortable, but Chris made no move to adjust himself.
“If you want me to stop, to really stop, say rutabaga, and I’ll stop right away. No questions, no judgment. Okay?”
Chris nodded, his expression softening as if he were surprised Jay-Cee had remembered that from their first night together. As if Jay-Cee could ever forget any second of it.
Jay-Cee squeezed his jaw again. “Use your words. I need to hear you say it.”
Chris licked his lips. “Rutabaga. If I want to stop.” He searched Jay-Cee’s face. “Don’t make me want to stop,” he ordered.
Jay-Cee was totally under his command. He would devote all his skill to making sure Chris never wanted to stop. Mouth dry, he nodded at Chris.
“Use your words,” Chris said, expression serious except for a tiny quirk of the corner of his mouth.
“Brat,” Jay-Cee said, yanking his chin up sharply. He ran his thumb over Chris’s lips. “Trust me. You won’t want me to stop.”
18 – If I seemed dangerous, would you be scared?
Taking a deep breath, Jay-Cee closed his eyes and centered himself. He let himself remember how he had felt after Mikey called him. The anger he felt at Chris’s lack of care for himself. The energy in the air between them changed, and when Jay-Cee opened his eyes, Chris looked at him, all humor gone from his face. He sank back down, ass on his heels. Jay-Cee let him sit like that for now.
“To answer your earlier question, I’m not concerned about Benny at the moment,” he said. “I’m more concerned about you.”
Chris’s eyebrows rose in a silent question, but his eyes stayed locked on Jay-Cee’s.
“What you did today was foolish and caused me and someone I care about a lot of unnecessary worry and stress. Do you know what I’m talking about?”
Chris shook his head.
“You didn’t call me from the hospital. You didn’t call me when you were upset.” His fingers tightened a little on Chris’s chin. “I had to get a call from a stranger who told me he was worried about you. He was afraid you were going to run away.”
“I’m sorry.” Chris looked confused. Jay-Cee could see he still didn’t really understand.
“You called Mikey to come take care of Benny, but you didn’t think to call me to come take care of you?”
In all fairness, it wasn’t completely Chris’s fault. Jay-Cee had been less than clear about where the boundaries between them lie. Chris wasn’t used to anybody being there for him to reach out to besides Benny. No one had treated Chris as if he were special, as if he were precious, for a long time, if ever.
“Why didn’t you call me?” Jay-Cee asked. He ran the fingers of his free hand through Chris’s hair.
Chris’s eyes filled with tears. Jay-Cee could see him struggling with what he thought he should say, searching for what he thought Jay-Cee wanted to hear.
“Why didn’t you call me?” he asked again. Jay-Cee gave a sharp yank to the hair caught between his fingers. “Don’t think, just tell me. Why didn’t you call me?”
“I was okay,” Chris said sharply. “I was fine.”
Jay-Cee smacked him sharply on the cheek, the sound shocking in the quiet room. “Don’t lie. Is that really why you didn’t call me?”
Chris shook his head and looked down at the floor.
Jay-Cee grabbed his chin again, his fingers a vice, and pulled Chris up to his knees to look Jay-Cee in the eye. “This is the last time I’m going to ask. And if you lie to me, I’m going to leave. This goes both ways, and I can call it off, too. Now, why didn’t you call me?” he asked deliberately.
“I didn’t want to bother you,” Chris said softly. “I didn’t think you cared. About me. That way.”
Jay-Cee relaxed his grip on Chris’s chin and gently rubbed the pink spot on his cheek. Chris sank back to his heels and pressed his face into Jay-Cee’s hand.
“That’s what I thought.” He shook his head. “I guess I’m going to have to teach you how much I care. Show you, so you don’t forget.”
There wasn’t a seductive way to take off overalls, but Jay-Cee had been wearing them when he’d gotten Michael’s call. He unhooked the buckles, letting the material fall forward.
Chris’s eyes raked over his muscular torso and the multitude of tattoos covering all the skin visible under his white sleeveless T-shirt.
“Eyes up,” Jay-Cee said.
Chris’s eyes snapped to his.
“Now I need you to be good for me. Can you be good for me?”
“Yes,” Chris said breath already speeding up. “Yes, sir,” he added at Jay-Cee’s raised eyebrow.
Hundreds of people had said those words to Jay-Cee thousands of times. It had never sounded anywhere near as good as it did coming from Chris’s mouth.
Jay-Cee looked around the room to see if there was anything he could use for what he wanted to do. Nothing jumped out at him. He touched Chris’s shoulder gently. “I need you to stand up, and I need you to find me something to tie your hands together, and something to go over your eyes.
Chris inhaled a trembling breath. “Right now?”
Jay-Cee smiled. “Right now. The quicker you get them, the easier I will go on you. I might even let you come eventually.”
Chris’s face flushed, the red spreading to the tops of his ears.
Pushing himself to his feet, Chris ran into his room. Jay-Cee heard him rifling through dresser drawers and opening and closing a closet door. He hurried back out of the room, and then slid back down to his knees on the floor between Jay-Cee’s spread legs.
Jay-Cee moaned internally. “Show me.”
Chris held out his hands in offering. In one hand he held a selection of silk ties, in the other a dark blue velvet sleep mask.
Jay-Cee took the mask and set it aside. He made a show of looking through the ties draped across Chris’s palm, separating them with a finger, careful never to touch his skin to Chris’s skin. He selected a baby blue one the same shade as Chris’s eyes. Gently he lifted up and placed it on the couch next to the mask.
Gathering the tails of the remaining ties, he slowly dragged them across both of Chris’s palms, making goosebumps rise on his skin. Jay-Cee loved the way Chris’s eyes rolled up in his eyelashes fluttered.
He beckoned Chris forward, and Chris knee-walked his way against the couch. Jay-Cee reached down and took hold of Chris’s shirt, careful not to touch skin to skin, and pulled it up over his head. The silver lightning bolt he had never seen Chris without gleamed dully against his skin. Jay-Cee wondered if Chris would ever tell him the story behind it. There was no rush. Jay-Cee was more than familiar with the need to memorialize people and events. The tattoos covering his body were a testament to that.
“Hands behind your back,” Jay-Cee ordered. “And turn around so I can reach you.”
Chris turned, graceful even on his knees.
Jay-Cee couldn’t help running one finger from the top of his spine, all the way down to his joined hands. Chris panted as Jay-Cee crossed his wrists and held them both in one hand. He rubbed his thumb gently over the pulse point in Chris’s wrist. Chris whined through clenched teeth, so Jay-Cee did it again and again, digging in with his thumbnail until Chris’s breathing hitched. Swiftly, he tied Chris’s hands together.
“Turn around,” he said, voice gruff with arousal. If he had any chance of making it through all the plans he had and making it good for Chris, he was going to have to let both of them come soon. This thing between them had been building for too long. Weeks of foreplay were enough for anyone.
Chris turned around to face Jay-Cee, his shoulders pulled back and a film of sweat at his temples. The pupils of his eyes were black with lust. He was the most beautiful thing Chris had ever seen.
Jay-Cee ran his thumb over Chris’s pierced nipples and tugged at the metal studs, pul
ling them slightly away from his body. Chris’s eyes closed, and he clenched his teeth against a moan and swayed into it.
“Open your eyes, Christopher,” Jay-Cee said. When he did Jay-Cee looked directly into them. “There will be consequences for your actions today because I need you to remember this lesson. I need you not to do that to yourself again. When you’re hurting yourself, when you let yourself be scared and alone, you’re hurting someone I care about. And I can’t let that happen again.” He stood up abruptly, overalls hanging from his hips and Chris’s face nearly pressed into his crotch. “Stay there,” he ordered. “Eyes front.”
He walked behind Chris and kicked off his shoes. His overalls fell heavily to the floor. The most gorgeous shudder ran down Chris’s back at the unmistakable sound.
Jay-Cee pulled off his shirt but left his black tight boxer briefs on. He needed to get his hands on Chris’s ass, to spank it until it was red and hot and all Chris could think about was the way pain and pleasure mixed as he promised to take care of himself if only to make Jay-Cee happy. Eventually, he might even come to believe that he was worth taking care of for himself.
“Stand up,” he told Chris. Hands tied behind his back, Chris pushed himself up with the easy grace of an athlete.
Jay-Cee pressed up close behind Chris, pressing the hard line of his cock against Chris’s bound hands. Leaning his bare chest against Chris’s back, he felt Chris’s fingers twitch against his cock.
He tilted his head down to whisper in Chris’s ear. “Don’t move. Not a finger. Not an inch until I tell you.”
Chris nodded, and Jay-Cee reached one hand around to unsnap the button of his jeans. He pulled the zipper down slowly, peeling the denim back and inching it down past the cock trapped against his inner thigh. Chris’s back rose and fell against Jay-Cee’s chest.
Jay-Cee tugged the tight jeans to right above his knees, trapping him in the heavy material. He tweaked both of Chris’s nipples, loving the feel of the yielding flesh combined with the hard metal.
He walked back around Chris to the couch and sat down in the center. “Across my lap now,” he said to Chris.
