Table of Contents
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
CHAPTER THIRTY
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
EPILOGUE
Believing in Tomorrow
By
Kimberly Rae Jordan
Copyright ©2017
Kimberly Rae Jordan
ISBN-13: 978-1-988409-21-4
A man, a woman & their God.
Three Strand Press publishes Christian Romance stories
that intertwine love, faith and family.
Always clean. Always heartwarming. Always uplifting.
Cover designed by AMYGDALA DESIGN
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic or mechanical without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations being used in reviews or articles about the book.
This is a work of fiction. The situations, characters, names and places are products of the author’s imagination, or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to locales, events, actual persons (living or dead) is entirely coincidental.
This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment and may not be re-sold or transferred via any method to any other individual. If you are reading this eBook and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please respect the hard work of the author who has spent many hours creating this story for your enjoyment and purchase your own copy of this eBook. Please do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials by illegally downloading or sharing this eBook. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated.
Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights are reserved.
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Table of Contents
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
CHAPTER THIRTY
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
EPILOGUE
If we confess our sins,
He is faithful and just
to forgive us our sins
and to cleanse us
from all unrighteousness.
I John 1:9
Note to the Reader:
Thank you for choosing to spend some time reading BELIEVING IN TOMORROW. This is book four in The Callaghans & McFaddens series. Each book is a standalone story, but your reading experience may be enhanced by reading the previous books in the series. A HANDFUL OF FLOWERS is the prequel to the series, followed by A CHANGE OF HEART which is book one. Both are available through Amazon.
I hope you enjoy reading BELIEVING IN TOMORROW!
~Kimberly Rae Jordan
CHAPTER ONE
April
Samantha McFadden leaned toward the mirror to take a final look at herself. She blended the cream under her eye a bit more, relieved that the concealer mostly covered the darkened skin there.
Working nights was challenging, especially when her daytime sleep was interrupted—as it had been the past three days. Thankfully, even though she was supposed to have worked that night, she’d been able to find someone to cover for her on short notice. Maybe she’d be able to get caught up on her sleep—after her date. Maybe.
With a smile at herself in the mirror, Sammi straightened and grabbed her phone from the makeup table. She shoved it into the purse she’d chosen for the night then picked up her work bag. It held items she would hopefully need later, even though she wasn’t going to work.
With purse and bag in hand, she headed out of her bedroom. After saying goodnight to her mom who was in the kitchen getting dinner ready, Sammi left through the front door of the house, taking the time as she walked to her car to appreciate the cool late April evening.
It was close to six by the time Sammi pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant where she was meeting Jayden Murray. Excitement fluttered to life in her stomach as she spotted Jayden’s car a row over from hers. It felt like forever since they’d last been together.
Jayden had been on a missions trip to China for six weeks, helping at an orphanage. The church sent a group to this particular orphanage each year, and this had been Jayden’s third year to join the team. Sammi had been so focused on completing her nursing degree and then landing the job she wanted that she hadn’t considered going in the past, but she and Jayden had already talked about joining the team together next year. Sammi hoped that it would be the first of many things she and Jayden did as a couple after they were married.
Though the restaurant—which was attached to a hotel—wasn’t the most romantic setting, Sammi had high hopes for their evening. As they’d rung in the New Year together, Jayden had told her that he saw her in his future forever. She’d felt the same way and had hoped that maybe he’d propose when they’d gone out for dinner on Valentine’s Day shortly before he’d left for China. Unfortunately, that hadn’t happened, but she had similar hopes now after having been apart almost two months. Absence had definitely made her heart grow fonder.
As she approached the entrance, a tall man with dark hair reached the door and, after glancing over his shoulder at her, he opened it and stood back to allow her to precede him.
“Thank you,” she said with a smile as she passed him.
“You’re welcome,” he replied with only a hint of a return smile.
She headed to the hostess stand and gave her name. The woman glanced at a list on the podium then motioned for Sammi to follow her. As they moved among the tables, Sammi scanned the room for Jayden, anxious to finally see him. He’d been back almost two weeks already, but aside from a few minutes at ch
urch on Sunday, they hadn’t spent any time together.
“Here you are,” the hostess said as they approached a booth near the back of the restaurant.
Jayden looked up from his phone when Sammi came to a stop beside the table. He gave her a small smile as he got to his feet. Though she had anticipated a tight hug and a lingering kiss, all she got was a casual brush of Jayden’s lips on her cheek as he bent down to her.
Frowning, Sammi watched as Jayden slid back into his side of the booth without a word of greeting. When he didn’t move over like he might have in the past so they could sit side by side, Sammi sat down opposite him.
This wasn’t quite the reunion she had hoped for.
“Your waitress will be with you in a minute,” the hostess told them before leaving.
“I went ahead and ordered you an iced tea,” Jayden said, motioning to the glass that sat in front of her.
“Thank you,” Sammi said as she lifted it to take a sip, appreciating the gesture. Maybe Jayden had just had a bad day.
Jayden looked back down at his phone before tapping out a message. Sammi stared at him, wariness blooming in the pit of her stomach. Usually, Jayden put his phone away when they were out together.
She watched him continue to focus on his phone, taking in how much more tanned he was than he’d been before the trip. His curly hair had even more blond highlights shot through it.
When he finally put his phone down and shifted his attention back to her, he didn’t smile like he usually did when he looked at her. Instead, he gestured to the menu on the table in front of Sammi and said, “Do you know what you want?”
Of course, she didn’t. She hadn’t been at the table long enough for that. But rather than say anything, Sammi just shook her head and looked down at the menu, opening it up to find something to eat even though her appetite was suddenly non-existent.
“I think I’m just going to have a burger,” Jayden said. “I’m still trying to catch up on six weeks without my favorite foods.”
Sammi looked up to see him smiling. Confusion filled her as she tried to figure out what was going on. Was this just the awkwardness of being apart for almost two months? After all, their contact had been limited to rare FaceTime sessions and occasional texts. Because of that, she hadn’t felt anything but anticipation about seeing him again, but maybe it was different for Jayden. He’d had an experience overseas that she hadn’t. Maybe they just needed to spend more time together in order to recapture the ease they’d had with each other before he’d left on the trip.
Once she’d decided what she wanted, and the waitress came to take their order, Sammi turned the conversation to the trip, wanting to move past the awkwardness that hadn’t yet lifted.
“So how was China?”
“It was good,” Jayden said as he lifted his glass. He took a sip then set it back down again. “Terrific, in fact. We had a really good group this time around. A good mix of older and younger people. Plus, we had a couple of team members that had medical training, so they were able to help out with medical issues at the orphanage.”
“Medical training?”
“Yeah.” Jayden picked up the napkin wrapped silverware in front of him, shifting it between his hands. “One was a retired nurse, and the other was a…uh…resident. She took time off to join the trip to see the medical needs and practices in the third world.”
“I’m glad it went so well.” Sammi clenched her hands in her lap. “I missed you.”
Jayden gave her a quick smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I…uh…missed you, too.”
When he didn’t say anything further, his gaze drifting around the room, looking at everything but her, Sammi finally asked, “What’s wrong?”
Jayden looked back at her and swallowed, his Adam’s apple moving visibly. “I was going to wait until after dinner to talk to you about some…stuff.”
“What kind of stuff?” Sammi pressed. Now that she’d opened this door, she was going to shove her way through it. She needed to know what was going on. Already a sense of dread had replaced the anticipation she’d had for the evening.
“I…uh…met someone.”
The words hit her like bullets, piercing the very depths of her heart even though she couldn’t quite grasp what he was saying. “Met someone? What do you mean…met someone?”
Jayden shifted in his seat as he laid the silverware down on the table. He pulled his shoulders back, and when his gaze met hers, she saw resolute determination there and knew it didn’t bode well for her. “I thought I loved you, but when I met Autumn and got to know her… Well, I realized that what I felt for her far surpassed what I felt for you. I don’t know how else to explain it.” He paused. “I love her.”
Sammi swallowed hard against the emotions that tightened her throat. “You love…her?”
Jayden nodded but didn’t say anything further.
“But what about me? You said you saw forever with me. You told me we could… That it would be okay because we were going to get married. I gave you my…” Sammi stumbled over the words, feeling sick at the realization that the man she loved, the one who said he’d be with her forever, had so easily tossed aside what they had been building together. They’d shared an intimacy she never would have agreed to if he hadn’t assured her that he wanted them to get married—even though they hadn’t been engaged yet.
How had this happened? All her life she’d dreamed of only being intimate with one person, and she’d thought that one person was going to be Jayden. Instead, he was telling her that she hadn’t been enough for him. That what he’d felt for her was nothing compared to how he felt about this other woman. Autumn.
What was wrong with her? Why couldn’t he have loved her that way?
And now what? She was no longer pure. All the talks she’d sat through in the youth group gatherings about purity and boundaries came flooding back to her, mocking her for allowing herself to be taken in by Jayden’s words.
I just want to be close to you.
I love you so much. I want to show you.
I love how you make me feel.
I want to feel even closer to you.
You mean the world to me…you’re my forever.
Sammi looked up to see the waitress approaching the table. Her stomach rebelled at the thought of eating the dinner she’d ordered, so as the woman set the plates on the table, Sammie grabbed her purse and slid out of the booth.
“Maybe you can call Autumn to join you,” she said. “I’m leaving.”
“Wait.” Jayden got to his feet and held out his hand. “Sammi…”
Not even remotely swayed by his voice, Sammi spun around and walked away, trying her best to keep her tears from spilling over. As she passed the hostess stand, she frantically looked around, trying to find the signs for the bathroom. It was the one place she was guaranteed that Jayden wouldn’t follow. Not that he was likely to try to come after her. She had a feeling that he was glad to see her go.
When she got to the bathroom, she leaned against the door to push it open then slipped inside the stall furthest from the entrance. Thankfully, there was a fan running that was loud enough to drown out the sobbing breaths she was trying to drag into her lungs in order to keep from falling apart.
How had this happened to her? How had they gone from forever to never? How had she gone from giving her virginity to the man who had said he wanted to be her husband to hearing him say he loved another woman?
What was wrong with her? What was it that Jayden had found in Autumn that he hadn’t found in her? All she had wanted was to marry Jayden and raise a family with him. For a few brief months, that dream had been within her reach. After a couple of failed relationships, she’d thought she’d finally found the man with whom she could spend the rest of her life.
Clearly, she’d been wrong. So very wrong.
Why had none of the men she’d dated wanted to stay with her? They’d say they loved her, but then the relationships wouldn’t last. Some other girl
would come along that they deemed better than her. It had happened three times now, but Jayden was the one that had taken the relationship one step further. He hadn’t just said he loved her. He’d said he wanted to spend forever with her.
Lies. All lies. Lies she’d believed, that now had left her sullied and alone.
So many of the decisions she’d made over the past year had been based on a future with Jayden. Before meeting him, she’d been planning to get an apartment and move out of her parents’ home, but then when things had gotten serious with Jayden, she’d decided to stay put. It hadn’t made much sense to waste money on an apartment when she’d be living with Jayden once they were married. Instead, she’d taken the money she’d planned to use for an apartment and had started saving it for their wedding.
The notebook that was tucked in the drawer of the desk in her bedroom mocked her from afar. Its pages contained copious notes of the details she wanted for her and Jayden’s wedding. Pictures of the dresses she wanted to try on. Dresses for the bridesmaids. Possible venues. The colors she was thinking of having. Pictures she’d printed off with bouquet ideas. Décor ideas. Lists of people who would be in the wedding party.
Matron of honor: Makayla
Bridesmaids: Amy, Grace, Danica, Sierra
Sammi let her head drop back against the tiled wall behind her, her purse hit the floor as her hands fell to her sides. Despair filled her at the thought that her dreams for tomorrow were all for naught.
All she’d ever wanted was to be a wife and a mother, but it now seemed that no one loved her enough to want to be the one to help her achieve those dreams. Was she not pretty enough? Was there something wrong with her personality? What was it that kept men from wanting to commit to her? What was it about her that made it so easy for them to walk away?
Sounds of women coming in and out of the bathroom filtered through the fog of despair that Sammi felt mired in, but still she remained hidden in the stall at the end of the row. She didn’t have anywhere else to go.
Finally, Sammi opened her eyes and stared at the fluorescent lights above the bathroom stall, blinking to clear the tears that still clouded her vision. She took a deep breath as she pulled paper off the toilet roll and used it to blot the wetness from her cheeks. She could see the smudges of makeup on the paper as she tossed it into the toilet, but she didn’t care. If only her memory of the evening could be flushed away as easily as a make-up smudged piece of toilet paper.
Believing in Tomorrow: A Christian Romance (The Callaghans & McFaddens Book 4) Page 1
