Hearing Matilda’s heavy sigh, Jane watched her dad respectfully lower his fork to his plate. Jane folded her hands on her lap. Pilar held her hands over her mouth and nose. Anything that could send Matilda over the edge would be colossal.
She took a deep breath and then read each word with great deliberation:
Russ needs you, Matilda. He will need you more after I’m gone. You know you’re like a sister to me. If at all possible, I want to see you. But I don’t know if I can live that long.
Jane watched Matilda swallow hard. She cleared her throat and continued to read:
One of our dear church members, Makana MacCauley, has taken over some of my classes. I wrote to you about the MacCauley tragedy. He has his own problems so I don’t know how long this will last. If at all possible, please come.
Knowing that Matilda could burst into tears, bellow out an unseemly string of unacceptable syllables, become uncannily silent, or even throw things, they waited.
Mr. Buckley ventured to mumble, “I’m sorry.”
Matilda sat with her finger bent against her lips and her eyes lowered. After a long moment, she laid her hand in her lap and nodded. “I thought Pansy had mentioned a Rose MacCauley before. I remembered because she has the name of a flower. Seems there was some family tragedy. Something about her son’s wife being in a terrible accident.” Her head moved from side to side, and she sighed. “Perhaps I could be of some help to her.” She smiled. “We who have suffered loss have a responsibility to comfort others.”
She let that sink in. Jane found it amazing that her aunt could say so much without really saying it and leave no room for debate. Matilda had lost her husband. Jane’s dad had lost his wife and brother. Jane had lost her mother and uncle.
Her daddy must be thinking they all had a responsibility to others. And she was sure the Bible said so.
Matilda held out her glass to Pilar. “Could you freshen my tea, dear?”
“Oh, of course.” Pilar stood and pushed her chair back under the table. She went to the sideboard, dumped the tea into the sink, filled the glass with ice from the icebox, and poured the tea from a crystal pitcher.
“I must go,” Matilda said dramatically after the tea was set at her plate and Pilar had moved away to await any further directive.
“Yes, I understand your concern,” Mr. Buckley said. “How long since you’ve seen Pansy?”
“Ten years,” Matilda said. “I’ve been remiss, but of course, when your dear brother was alive, I traveled wherever he suggested.”
Jane knew her dad would be skeptical about that. Matilda rarely did anything she didn’t want to do.
She looked at them again. “I must go to Hawaii. Perhaps Pansy will still be alive by the time I arrive. If not, I need to comfort my brother. Maybe I could help out in that school. As you know, Kermit—I mean Russell—Russell is my only living blood relative.”
Jane knew her dad would be thinking that when Jane’s mother had died, Matilda had been right there to help in any way. She’d become, not a mother, but a wonderful friend and companion to Jane and a big help to Jane’s dad. When her husband had died, Matilda had been able to comfort Jane’s dad with tales of the wonderful life his brother had lived.
“I understand.” Jane saw compassion in her dad’s eyes as he looked at Matilda. “When are you leaving?”
Matilda lifted her napkin from her lap to her nose for a moment and sniffed lightly. Her voice trembled. “How can I, Buck? A lady of my position cannot travel that far alone. I must have a companion.”
Jane’s heart almost leapt from her chest. The glance between her and Matilda before her aunt again slid her gaze to John Buckley spoke volumes. They both knew who that companion must be.
Jane’s dad nodded. “What about your friend who traveled to California with you? Would she not accompany you?”
“Oh no, Buck. She fears water. Would barely put her toe in the Pacific Ocean. She would never step foot on a ship that would keep her on the water for months.”
“You might advertise,” he said.
“There isn’t time.” She folded the blue paper, and her lower lip trembled. “And how could I trust a stranger?” She returned the note to her skirt pocket. “I would have to wear my gold pieces taped to my body.” She glanced again at Jane, and the lowering of her eyelids seemed to say, “Jane, it’s your turn.”
“Daddy.” Jane turned her face to him. “Aunt Matilda has done so much for us. What if I accompanied her to Hawaii?”
His mouth fell open. After several moments, he closed it. He opened it again. “Jane, you’re getting married.”
Four
Jane could say one thing with confidence. “Daddy, you know I can’t have anyone but Aunt Matilda plan my wedding. She’s been like a mother to me.” She lowered her hands to her lap and absently moved the diamond ring toward her knuckle and back again. “We can’t expect her to plan a wedding while her sister-in-law is. . .”
Instead of finishing the sentence, she looked down at her food. A sense of guilt washed over her for having felt so excited over the possibility of going to Hawaii when the situation was so dire. But Matilda’s phrase, paradise in the Pacific, kept tripping across her mind.
“Daddy,” she said, “Aunt Matilda has done so much for us. For me. Maybe it’s time we did something for her.”
He certainly couldn’t dispute that. Matilda kept her eyelids demurely lowered and her napkin pressed to her lips.
Her dad was rarely without words, but he seemed to be searching for some. Finally, he said, “Matilda, you don’t know how long you’d be away.”
She shook her head. “No. There’s no way of knowing.”
He exhaled heavily. “Jane, what would Austin say about your being away for. . .” He shrugged. “An indefinite period of time?”
“Why, Daddy,” she said as if mortified. “Austin spent those years away from me getting his education. Should he have that privilege, but not me because I’m a woman? Would you want me to marry a man so selfish that he wouldn’t want me to be a kind, caring person?”
He seemed to be struggling with how to answer. Finally, he said, “Well, no, of course not.”
“Oh, Buck,” Matilda said, drawing his attention back to her. “Pansy wrote several years ago that the tourist trade has started in Hawaii. By the hundreds, people from all over the world visit each year. It’s a paradise, Buck. Why, it wouldn’t surprise me if Jane decided to get married there. It’s a perfect place for a honeymoon.”
Matilda made it sound like everything was settled. She had included the romantic idea of a wedding and honeymoon in spite of her sister-in-law’s illness. But looking from her aunt to her dad, Jane recognized that uncertain look in his eyes. He frowned. “I’ve heard it’s an uncivilized place.”
“Uncivilized? Why, Buck, it’s been seventy years since the missionaries went there and made the Hawaiians wear clothing.” Matilda’s hand came up and lay against the bodice of her dress, fashioned in the latest style. “And too,” she went on. “Pansy said they’ve almost stamped out those sensuous hula dances. The hula is only done now for parties and special occasions, and the dancers wear clothes.” She fanned her face with her hand as if the thought were too heated to discuss.
Jane stole a glance at Pilar. The two of them had seen Matilda’s own version of the hula right in Jane’s bedroom.
“Why, those Hawaiians don’t even square dance like you do here in Texas.”
Jane could almost visualize Matilda teaching the Hawaiians to square dance. Her dad was probably thinking the same thing.
Matilda must have seen his brow furrow and the slight shake of his head. She moved to another subject. “Besides, Buck, from information I’ve received from Pansy, Hawaii is so civilized they don’t let their cows wander off unattended right up in their front yards. Her gaze moved to the wide windows of the dining room, as if seeing a herd of cows.
Her dad’s gaze followed Matilda’s, and he spoke defensively. “They have
to graze.”
“Yes, Buck, but not so close to the house. Why, Pansy said the cattle and horse ranches there had cowboys before we had them here.”
“Hawaii has cowboys?”
Matilda nodded. “Hawaii has huge cattle ranches, and Pansy said the cowboys are called paniolos. They send salted beef all over the world. Apparently, their ranchers are as advanced as—or perhaps more advanced than—you are here.” She paused, giving him time to take that in. Jane and Matilda knew her dad did everything in the most up-to-date way.
Matilda went further. “Jane and I could check that out and send information to you. Besides,” she added, “A spirited girl like Jane needs an adventure before she settles down to take care of a man for the rest of her life. Austin has said he had enough travel during his years abroad. He wants to settle down.”
Jane watched her father’s face. He seemed to be in deep thought. She knew he loved her, but ever since she had turned thirteen, he hadn’t quite known what to do with her except treat her like he would a boy. She was grateful for that and for Matilda’s influence on her life. Because they never tamed her wild streak, Jane did not consider herself a drawing-room type of person.
“Jane, what about your students?” her dad said in an apparent last-ditch effort to find a reason not to let her go.
“Daddy, they are equestrian students,” she said, as if he were the child and she the parent. “The classes are at my convenience and theirs.”
His eyes brightened. “Your own equestrian events, Jane. You’re becoming a well-established equestrienne.”
Jane tried not to show the sudden stab of disappointment that swept over her like a cloud of Texas wind in a dust storm. In the last two events, she’d placed second to Rebecca Cawdell. It was downright embarrassing every time she looked at the trophy or anyone congratulated her.
“Well, if they’re advanced in Hawaii like Aunt Matilda says, I could learn even more while there.” Maybe she really could and come back to get that gloating gleam out of Rebecca’s eyes.
Although he smiled before he said, “I would miss you,” he sounded sad.
Jane reached over and covered his hand with hers. “Daddy, you could come there any time. Even go with us, if you like.”
His lips tightened, but she saw the slight glimmer in his eyes meaning that such an event was a real possibility.
“Of course you could,” Matilda said. “Buck, I couldn’t very well have asked you to come along unless Jane agreed first. But that would be wonderful, having Jane and you along on this most important trip to be with my poor, ailing sister-in-law and comfort my brother.”
That brought it back around to the seriousness of the trip.
Jane did want to be helpful to the Russells. She expected, however, that she and Matilda would still be able to see the sights of that exotic land. But how much freedom would she have with her father there, watching her every move?
Five
Jane picked at her meal. The delicious aroma had vanished, and the food was tasteless. She could not pressure her father into anything. Matilda was the only person in the world who could come close to talking back to him and get away with it.
And too, Matilda had taught her that more flies are caught with sugar than with vinegar. So Jane sat there being sweet.
“Well,” her dad said, “I realize this is important to you, Matilda. And Jane. . .” Straightening his shoulders, he leaned back against the chair, a signal that he had decided.
“Jane,” he said, “since you will have to wait until your aunt returns before the wedding is planned, and if it’s what you want. . .”
Jane nodded and lowered her eyes lest they pop out with anticipation.
“This trip can be a wedding present from me. That way, apart from the sadness of the situation, you may find some joy in your journey.”
Her heart hammered against her chest. “I really think it’s something I should do, Daddy.”
“Yes,” he said. “I can tell both you and Matilda feel a great sense of responsibility in this matter.” His glance swung toward the high ceiling. She had the feeling he might understand her and Matilda better than she’d realized.
“But with you gone, that would mean changes here, too. Eating dinner alone without my little girl. For a year, at least.”
His gaze wandered to Pilar. Was he thinking he wouldn’t need Pilar and her mother without Jane around? But how could he in all good conscience dismiss them, even for a year, after he’d saved them from a life of destitution?
Her father seemed to be debating the issue himself. “Matilda will be busy comforting her brother.” He smiled at Matilda, then turned his attention back to Jane. “You might become bored.”
Bored? Jane could hardly believe that word. The stories from Pansy’s letters that Matilda had shared over the years had been enchanting. Of course, Matilda had a way of making a trickle of water sound like an oil gusher.
Matilda slapped both hands down on the table and put on her best smile. “You are so right, Buck. Why not send along a companion for Jane?”
“Wha—” Jane’s father stammered. “Who?”
“Why, who else but the one you implied.” She lifted her hands in the air. “Pilar.”
Pilar screamed, and they all jumped.
She quickly slapped her hand against her mouth, and the gulp of swallowing just about made her choke.
A face peered around the dining-room doorway. Jane glanced from Inez to Pilar, whose head began to bob like it might fall from her neck. Her mother’s head was doing the opposite, moving from side to side as if the very idea was out of the question.
Jane knew that Pilar was happy just pulling down the bedcovers for Matilda. The thought of going to Hawaii would be as earthshaking to her as it was to Jane.
“Daddy, Pilar has been very much like a companion to me—at times, like a younger sister.” That was partly true. In earlier years, they had cried together about Pilar’s loss of her dad.
“Besides, Buck,” Matilda said, looking at Inez instead of him. “Inez is capable of running this household without Pilar. I mean, with only. . .you here.”
Inez’s hand moved to the throat of her high-necked black dress. “But she’s only seventeen.”
“Oh, how lovely.” Matilda about came out of her chair. “Imagine Pilar celebrating her coming-out debut in Hawaii.”
She’d shocked them all into taking on the demeanor of statues. After a long moment, the unblinking gaze of Inez moved to Pilar. The two stared at each other as if looking at strangers.
Jane wondered if Inez was thinking about a coming-out debut. When Inez’s husband had lost his business and killed himself, it had seemed that any hope of Pilar’s marrying into a fine family was gone.
Inez turned and disappeared from the dining room. Pilar’s head was bent, not bobbing anymore, and her teeth had captured her lower lip.
Matilda sighed. “Maybe I can convince Inez to let Pilar go as a companion to Jane.”
After dinner, Jane walked with Matilda in the gardens, and they settled on a bench.
“Matilda, what was the tragedy Pansy mentioned?”
Her aunt paused. “I honestly don’t recall, Jane. We wrote to each other often, and she told about many events in their church and school. The MacCauley name seems familiar, but I just can’t place which tragedy that was.” She patted Jane’s hand. “We can find out when we get there.”
When they got there. Oh, she could hardly wait. And she could hardly believe her dad had given his permission and blessing.
“Matilda, I can’t get over how you can get people do what you want them to. I know why Daddy agreed to send Pilar along.” She laughed. “To help protect me. But Inez was shaking her head with that stiff look on her face. As soon as you talked with her in the kitchen, though, she relented.”
“Didn’t you notice, dear?” Matilda said with an air of superiority. “She didn’t have much fight left when I reminded her that she and your daddy would be here alone.”
Jane wasn’t sure she understood.
Matilda grinned. “Inez used to be very friendly with me. But after your mother died, she seemed to be competing with me for your father’s attention. I think she’s sweet on him.”
Jane’s mouth opened in surprise. “I never suspected. I don’t think he does, either.”
Matilda nodded. “She probably tells herself it’s gratitude. The Ashcrofts were never extremely well-off, but they were considered successful and were accepted in society circles. After the bankruptcy and the shame of suicide, that vanished. Inez has, not so graciously, accepted her role as housekeeper and has tried to teach Pilar that she is only working class.”
“Takes a strong woman to do that, doesn’t it?”
“Indeed,” Matilda said.
“Um, Matilda, have you been. . .are you. . .sweet on my daddy?”
Matilda laughed. “My dear, if I were, don’t you think I’d have had him proposing to me by now?”
Jane giggled. “Well, yes.” She had no doubt that Matilda could marry any man she wanted to.
“He’s too much like his brother. So. . .settled, I suppose you could say.”
“Weren’t you happy with Uncle Wesley?”
“Oh, yes. I livened him up, and we traveled all over. But you don’t always know what you want or what you’re getting until after you’ve got it.” Her eyebrows lifted. “Don’t you worry about Austin.” She smiled off into the trees. “You’ll liven him up.”
Realizing she was twisting the ring on her finger, Jane looked down. Traveling to Hawaii and back would take about ten months, at least. They couldn’t just get there and turn around and come right back. Possibly for more than a year, she wouldn’t have to be concerned about planning or even thinking about a wedding. Just as Austin’s travels had settled him, so would hers.
When she returned, she’d be ready for that. . .surely.
She dared not look at Matilda. Burning deep inside her and making vivid pictures in her mind was that island of paradise. Like a jewel in the sea on the blue Pacific, it seemed to sparkle in her mind with a brilliance far greater than what she wore on her finger.
Aloha Love Page 2
