by J. S. Scott
“You were just as tired, and you were always right there with me,” Kara argued, acknowledging that those had been difficult months, endless nights with little or no sleep for both of them.
“That’s different,” Simon said belligerently.
Kara pulled back, only to meet his ferocious expression. “That’s why you don’t want another child? Because you think it will be painful and difficult for me?” Her eyes filled with tears, the enormity of the reasons for Simon’s hesitance slapping her in the face.
It’s all for me, because of me. He’s trying to protect me…as usual. Had she not been so wrapped up in her negative imaginations, she might have realized why he was being hesitant earlier.
He looked back at her, their gazes clashing together and holding. “Why the hell else would I object?” Simon asked, perplexed.
She reached out and stroked his cheek with her palm. “Oh, Simon,” she sighed, hating herself for never asking him exactly why he didn’t want a child when they’d discussed it before. She’d been too busy wondering if he was losing his passion for her, if she was less attractive to him now. Her damn post-pregnancy insecurities were getting to her. “I love you.”
His grip tightened convulsively around her waist. “I love you, too. That’s why I don’t want you to hurt anymore.”
Kara’s heart ached as she glanced at his agonized expression. With Simon, everything was black and white: if something would hurt her, he’d do whatever it took to avoid it. “The pain was quickly forgotten as soon as I held Ginny for the first time,” she told him softly.
Simon shook his head, the movements stubborn. “Not for me. Fuck. I still have nightmares about you screaming, of being terrified something bad was going to happen to you. That was the longest day I’ve ever had to live through, and I think that one damn day took years off my life.”
Kara bit her lip to keep from smiling. She’d told Simon many times that if he didn’t stop saying bad words, Ginny was one day going to add them to her limited vocabulary. She hadn’t seen him curse in front of Ginny since she’d told him that, but Simon would never be an angel. He’d been through too much, lived his early life so tough that he was lucky he’d survived, much less become a self-made billionaire along with Sam. The fact that he could still be so sensitive to her needs constantly amazed her. He’d never been able to stand to see her unhappy or in pain. She knew it, but it still astounded her. “You’re an amazing man, Simon Hudson.” Leaning forward, she kissed him softly and backed away again, aware that she was still sweaty and smelly. “I forgot all about the pain very quickly. And those colicky days, the teething and sleepless nights are all part of being a new parent. It’s over. Let it go.” She wanted him to stop tormenting himself. He’d been there with her every step of the way—except for the actual labor pains, and he’d been up whenever she was up with Ginny, even though he’d needed to work the next day.
“It can’t happen again. Not if we have a choice and it doesn’t matter to you if we have another child,” he said gruffly.
“It doesn’t matter. And it won’t happen again. I’m okay with not having another child.” Watching the agony in Simon’s expression had convinced her having just Ginny would be fine. In reality, she could end up pregnant again someday. Birth control was amazingly effective, but there was always a tiny, tiny chance that she could still get pregnant. However, she wasn’t about to remind Simon of that little fact. He’d never get rid of the condoms.
His muscles relaxed, and he shot her a relieved grin. “Thank Christ!”
Her heart lighter, she asked him teasingly. “Are you going to let me take a shower before Ginny wakes up? I smell.”
“It’s not like I haven’t had your sweaty body in my arms before, sweetheart. Except those times were a lot more satisfying,” he reminded her in a graveled voice.
“We were both sweaty.” Kara wanted to remind him that they hadn’t had hot, sweaty sex in a long time, but she didn’t. Did it matter if their sex life had mellowed out when they both loved each other? Having a child was wonderful, but exhausting. Wasn’t it natural for things to change?
“Don’t work out like that again. It’s dangerous,” Simon warned ominously.
“I know.”
“And Ginny isn’t here. Mom and Michael took her for the night.”
Kara gave Simon a shocked look. He rarely let their daughter out of his sight. “Surrounded by security?” Knowing Simon, he’d likely sent an entire army of his security detail to watch over Ginny while she was with his mother and her new husband. Ginny’s grandparents adored her, but Kara was surprised that Simon had relented to an overnight visit.
“There are so many agents with them that their cupboards will be bare tomorrow just from feeding them all,” Simon agreed without remorse.
Kara chuckled. “She won’t like it.” She moved off his lap, and he finally let her go. Helen Hudson was an independent woman who ran her own restaurant and had never allowed her sons to put their security anywhere near her. Even though she’d finally relented and married her live-in boyfriend, Michael, she was still the same kind, feisty woman Kara had always known. And Helen had no problem taking her sons down a peg or two when they deserved it, billionaires or not.
“She’ll have to get used to it if she wants to take her granddaughter overnight. I don’t compromise on security for you and Ginny,” he replied ruthlessly.
Don’t I know it!
She and Simon used to argue endlessly about the legions of security he’d put on her ass. Now, she didn’t bother. She usually had Ginny with her, and she wanted her daughter protected just as much as Simon did. “So we’re alone tonight?” she asked, heat beginning to bloom in her at the thought, realizing they hadn’t had any time together without Ginny since their daughter was born.
“We are,” Simon answered, his eyes smoldering, looking up at her as she stood. “I plan to take my wife out to dinner and spend some time alone with her.”
Kara shivered at the flash of fire in his gaze. “I’ll shower quickly. It will be nice to have a night alone.” Ginny was her heart, but she and Simon hadn’t spent a night with just the two of them together since their daughter had been born.
“Nice? It will be much better than nice, sweetheart,” he growled.
“I hope so,” she whispered to herself as she scurried off to the bathroom, happy that she and Simon had talked about one of the things standing between them right now. They spent so much time talking about Ginny, scurrying from one task to another, that they’d forgotten how to talk about themselves as a couple.
Somehow, I have to tell Simon how I feel about our love life.
Had she really been afraid of how he’d respond, or had she just been too busy being a mother?
I’d trust him with my life. I’ve always trusted him with my feelings, and he’s never let me down yet.
Hopefully they could resolve all of the issues they’d put aside for so long…tonight.
Chapter Two
Kara entered the kitchen nervously, knowing that what she was wearing now hugged her curvier body tighter than it had before she’d given birth. Her little black dress seemed even smaller than before, the skirt flirting with her knees and the silky material clinging to her fuller hips and breasts. Leaving her hair down, she’d done her makeup carefully, feeling more feminine than she’d felt for a long time. Digging into the drawer, she’d donned her sexiest lingerie set, another item of clothing she hadn’t bothered with for a while. She’d slipped on her three inch stiletto heels with no worries. They might make her taller than some men, but Simon would still tower above her. Her husband was so muscular and tall that he’d been the first man to actually make her feel petite.
Her jacket on her arm and her small clutch purse in hand, she looked around the large room, spotting Simon leaning against the counter, his back to her, talking on his cell phone.
Kara moved into the kitchen, the clicking of her heels on the tile floor causing Simon to turn around.
“Is everything okay at your Mom’s?”
“Everyone’s fine,” Simon answered distractedly, his covetous stare never wavering.
Kara sighed, eyeing her gorgeous husband in a dark gray suit and burgundy tie. “You’re looking very handsome, Mr. Hudson,” she teased, trying to get her racing heart under control. Even after two years of marriage, Simon got to her, especially when he was looking at her like he wanted to devour her whole.
He stalked toward her like a predator, his eyes flaring with hunger. “You look beautiful, but I’m not sure I like that dress,” he growled.
Kara’s heart sank. “It looks too tight?”
“It makes you look like every man’s goddamn fantasy, and I don’t want you to be any man’s fantasy except mine,” he grumbled unhappily as he stopped in front of her.
Kara let out a startled laugh. “You’re the only one crazy enough to think I look good.” She was letting her own insecurities get to her. Simon had never, ever criticized the way she looked. In fact, he’d always made her feel like the most desirable woman in the world. Even when she’d been at her frumpiest since she’d given birth, he’d told her she was beautiful. She just hadn’t believed it.
“You don’t just look good. You look hot and too damn sexy.” He speared a hand through her hair and tilted her head up.
Her breath hitched as she heard a possessive, feral tone in his voice that she hadn’t heard in a long time, the sound of a man who was about to lose control. She exhaled into his mouth as he gave her a warm, gentle, tender kiss on the lips before releasing her to help her put on her jacket.
Did I really think he was going to tear my clothes off right here in the kitchen and take me?
Kara loved the tender side of Simon, but she missed her out-of-control husband who had to have her, needed to possess her and know that she was his.
He guided her out the door and to the private elevator for the penthouse without saying another word. Breaking the silence as they stood by the doors, she asked curiously, “Where are we going?”
Letting her into the elevator first before following her, he answered, “I made a reservation at your favorite Italian restaurant.”
“Oh, God,” she moaned. “The pasta will go right to my hips. I’m trying to lose weight.”
“Why?” Simon asked, sounding perplexed as he pushed the button for them to go down to the ground floor.
Her head snapped up and she gaped at the confused look on his face. “You know I’ve gained weight since I had Ginny. I haven’t lost my baby weight. I don’t feel…sexy anymore,” she confessed, knowing she never had felt sexy until she met Simon.
It’s time to step up to the plate and tell him about my insecurities. I don’t want to hide my emotions from him anymore.
Simon’s face grew stormy and he reached out and punched the emergency stop button with an angry grunt. “Is that the reason why you were nearly killing yourself on the treadmill? And why you’re barely eating?”
“I’m eating,” she argued.
“Not enough,” he grumbled, crowding her against the wall of the elevator. “You think you’re not sexy?” He pinned her to the wall of the plush elevator with his muscular body, a hand on both sides of her head, his body an impenetrable wall against her.
“We don’t have sex the way we used to, and I know I’m carrying extra weight,” she blurted out without censoring herself, letting Simon know exactly how she was feeling.
“Jesus Christ,” Simon hissed irritably. “You’re the mother of my child now. I can’t be the same selfish bastard that I used to be. You’re exhausted taking care of our child.”
“I’m also a woman,” she reminded him hesitantly. “I need you.”
“You are my woman,” his forceful voice informed her. “My wife. But you never seemed to want me. I knew you were tired, and you fucking shied away from being naked in front of me all the time. I thought you were sending me signals that you were either too tired or not in the mood, and I didn’t blame you. I tried to help as much as I could with Ginny, but it wasn’t enough.”
Kara froze as she gazed up at his face. She hadn’t wanted to be naked in front of him, and she’d breastfed Ginny until she was a year old. The first months had been rough, her daughter waking during the night wanting feeding. Then came the colic, and lastly the teething. Kara’s priority had been taking care of her daughter, and she probably hadn’t been in the mood. “I was tired until Ginny got past the colic and teething,” she admitted. “After that, the exhaustion got better. But I didn’t want you to see my body because of the extra weight and my stretch marks. I feel…unattractive, Simon.” She wondered if this was how all women felt after having a baby. She hadn’t been herself, barely taking time to shower in those early months when Ginny needed her constantly.
Simon pinned her hands over her head with a husky, tortured groan. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and you’re even more beautiful because you’ve borne a child, our daughter. I was trying to be respectful of what you needed. I felt like a selfish bastard every time I had to have you, but I tried to be quick and gentle with you.”
Kara’s eyes filled with tears. “You were gentle. And I wanted you, too. I just didn’t feel sexy. I want to feel like your woman again.”
“Fuck!” Simon’s curse exploded, the sound booming in the small space. Stepping back, he released her wrists and held her face between his hands, forcing her to look at him. “You are my woman. You never stopped being mine, and you’ll always be mine. Don’t you know that I can’t live without you, that you’ll always look beautiful to me? Christ. You accepted my damn scars. I don’t think you even see them when you look at me. Do you think it was easy for me not to lose it every time I was inside you? No matter how tired I am, every time I see you, my cock is hard. Every time I look at you, I want you. Every. Single. Fucking. Time.” His voice was low and vibrating with emotion.
Seeing the fierce possessiveness and adoration in his dark eyes, Kara’s tears started to fall.
I’m an idiot. Simon loves me. He’s always loved me. If I’d just talked to him, he would have reassured me.
Kara hadn’t ever seen Simon’s scars as something that made him unattractive. She’d only seen the pain they’d caused him, and it made her heart ache. To her, he was perfect. His strength, his capacity to still love after all he’d been through had been what made her fall in love with him in the first place. He never did anything on a small scale, and his single-minded goal of making her happy had touched her soul. He’d always said he was clueless when it came to romance, but the way he went way over the top with everything just to please her was one of his most endearing qualities. “You’re absolutely perfect,” she whispered, stroking back a lock of wayward hair on his forehead. “Beautiful.”
Simon shot her a wicked grin. “What happened to stubborn, bossy, and domineering?”
Oh, yeah. Her husband was a dominant, hardheaded alpha male, but she loved even those qualities. Most of the time! “I like that sometimes,” she told him in a fuck-me voice that made it abundantly clear where she really adored his bossiness.
“Don’t push me, woman. My patience is about shot,” he warned her.
Kara visibly flinched as the emergency phone rang in the elevator. It wasn’t the first time that had happened. She had fond memories of this particular elevator.
Simon snatched the phone, grumbling into the mouthpiece, “We’re fine. I’m looking for something. It could be a while. Don’t call again.” He hung up the phone with an audible slam, not even waiting for a response.
Kara moaned and slumped against the wall. “I can’t believe you just did that. Security will think we’re having crazy sex in the elevator.” She raised an eyebrow at him, her heart beginning to pulse heavily. “What could you be looking for that
takes this long?”
Simon’s eyes turned dark and liquid. “My wife,” he replied dangerously, opening her jacket and tugging it down her arms. “It seems like I’ve waited forever to see her beautiful body again, to hear her scream my name while she’s coming around me. I can’t wait any longer,” he growled.
“Simon, we can’t do this here.” Her words held no conviction, her legs growing weak as her core clenched with need. Bossy, demanding Simon was back, and all she wanted to do was let him manhandle her, take her over with the passion she could see firing in his eyes.
“We are doing it here. Now,” he demanded.
The insistent command in his voice told her he was nearing the end of his control. Thank God!
He unzipped the back of her dress and pulled it over her head, and she heard him release a tortured groan as she lifted her arms so he could free her from the garment. It dropped to the floor, unnoticed.
“Jesus, woman. Are you trying to kill me?” he grunted, his eyes roaming covetously over her scantily clad body.
She was wearing red lingerie, with miniscule panties, thigh high stockings, and a lacy bra that was so thin, she knew he could see her hard, sensitive nipples. “I thought you liked my sexy lingerie,” she teased, feeling more comfortable as she saw the expression of rampant desire on his face.
“I fucking love it. But you know what it does to me.” Simon shot her a feral, carnal look.
Kara shivered as he ran his hands over her body, teasing her nipples through the flimsy fabric of her bra, and stroking his hands over her abdomen and hips. The desperate, rough touch of his fingers set her body on fire.
“You look even sexier now than you did before our daughter was born, and I didn’t think it was possible for me to want to fuck you any worse than I did then. But I do. It was hell trying to be quick and gentle all the time. I thought it was what you wanted. But I think you want it the same way I do right now. I think you need it to understand exactly how I feel.” His hands stroked over her hips and then cupped her ass, his fingers squeezing her flesh, and then using his grip to pull her body flush against his. “Your body still fits against mine like you were made for me. It’s mine, sweetheart. You’re mine,” he whispered in a graveled voice, his hot breath wafting over her ear. “You’re a fucking goddess. Don’t ever hide yourself from me again,” he demanded as he pulled her tighter against him.
