Fearing the worst I asked, “Is it going to offend her?”
“Probably,” my aunt replied as she buckled her seatbelt.
“Why must you antagonize her?”
“I love it,” my aunt said, as though it made perfect sense.
I looked out the window and saw an orderly waving me down. His red face had me concerned.
“Go, go, go!” my aunt yelled, slapping me on my arm.
Instinctively, I slammed down on the gas pedal. “What’s going on?” I shouted. We fishtailed out of the parking lot, sliding on the slick snow.
“Pfft,” Aunt Shirley said, waving her hand at me. “These people have no sense of humor. At arts and crafts today we had to make some lame-ass sculpture out of clay. Everyone was doing a stupid Christmas tree. I decided to spice things up and turn my Christmas tree into an anatomically correct penis. You’d think the way everyone was reacting, ain’t no one ever seen one before!”
I let out a snort. “Aunt Shirley! They’re going to kick you out if you aren’t careful.”
“What the hell do I care? I don’t wanna be there anyhow. It was your boyfriend that put me there!”
I refused to rise to her bait. Mainly because to an extent she was right. Garrett and Mom gave Aunt Shirley the choice after she accidentally set her house on fire—and went in public without any pants on—that she could either go to a full-blown nursing home, or the assisted living home she was in now.
Pointing the Falcon to the other side of town, I headed to the office to pick up Mindy—leave it to Hank to be working on the newspaper Christmas night.
The office was lit up like a Christmas tree. Which was ironic, seeing as how Hank refused to let us put up a tree or even Christmas lights outside. He said he didn’t want people driving by and thinking he ran some froufrou girlie magazine. Yeah, like Hank and Cosmo were one in the same!
“Don’t forget, I expect a call in and some type of story every day,” Hank said around his signature unlit cigar.
“Hank,” I said exasperatingly, “what on Earth makes you think I’ll have something to report on daily?”
Hank yanked out his cigar. “Because I know you two numbskulls,” he said, waving his unlit cigar at Aunt Shirley and me. “Wherever you go, trouble follows. You’re an investigative reporter…go get me an exposé.”
I rolled my eyes and headed toward the door. I swear, sometimes I wonder where he gets these outrageous ideas.
“Oh, and if you get my wife caught in the middle of your shenanigans like you did last time…well, let’s just say I know how to make people disappear.”
Mindy laughed. “Oh, Hank, leave the poor girl alone. No one is scared of your bark anymore.”
Speak for yourself. I just wet myself.
“Mindy doesn’t do nothing she don’t wanna do, old man. Remember that,” Aunt Shirley said.
Fearing for my life, I pushed the ladies out the door. “I’ll write something daily, I promise.”
I felt Hank’s glare the whole way to the door. I know Mindy touted his gentleness, but I never saw it.
“Merry Christmas!” I shouted.
“Bah!” Hank turned and went back to the paper.
Once we had Mindy in the car, I had Aunt Shirley text Mom to tell her we were heading out. I figured it would take us a little over four hours since it was still spitting snow.
I pulled out of the city limits. “Next stop, Lake of the Ozarks for some relaxing girl time and a wedding!”
If I only knew then how wrong I’d be.
Chapter 3
Cavern Beach is a relatively small town. It has a two-lane highway that goes straight down the middle of town, with numerous businesses scattered along the drag. What makes Cavern Beach different from the other small towns along the lake is that it actually has a small downtown area instead of just two lanes running through town.
The lake house at Cavern Beach has been in our family for generations. My grandma and grandpa bought the tiny house when they were newlyweds. Years of remodeling projects had turned the tiny house into a glorious three thousand square foot home spanning two floors. An enormous wooden deck surrounded the house and ran all the way down to our private dock.
In the last ten years, the housing market has exploded in Cavern Beach. Our nearest neighbor, Jim Cleary, is a local contractor. A few years ago he built a gorgeous stone house sixty yards from our lake house. He’s a really nice guy, but unfortunately I rarely see Jim when I’m here because he’s so busy.
I made the turn off the main drag onto Highway TT. On this side of town the houses are spread out farther apart. A few minutes later I made a right-hand turn into the half-mile driveway we shared with Jim.
“It’s about damn time,” Aunt Shirley said. “I’ve had to pee for the last hour.”
I rolled my eyes and turned off the Falcon. Aunt Shirley dashed into the house. “I’ll get her suitcase,” I told Mindy. “You go on in.”
“Want me to send out your mom?” Mindy asked.
“Sure,” I said, reaching into the trunk to unload the suitcases. The trunk space in the Falcon was astonishing. You could easily fit at least two dead bodies inside…not that I’ve tried, of course.
“Hey, sweetheart,” my mom said, kissing me on the cheek. “I’ve been worried.”
“Snow stopped a while back. We’ve just been driving slow.”
Mindy opened the front door as Mom and I carried in the suitcases. I stepped inside the wide foyer, stomping my feet on the welcome mat.
“Bring my suitcase in here,” Aunt Shirley called from the archway to my immediate right. “I’m going to stay on this side of the house.”
When you first walk into the house, the kitchen is on the left, opening up into a great room. Immediately on the right—where Aunt Shirley was staying—were two bedrooms and a shared bathroom. On the other side of the house, was another master bedroom and bathroom. The great room had a staircase leading downstairs that housed three more bedrooms and a bathroom.
Pushing open Aunt Shirley’s bedroom door, I lifted her suitcase onto the queen-sized bed. “Do you need anything else?”
Aunt Shirley was unloading her purse. “Nope, I’m good.”
“What the hell are those?” I shouted.
Aunt Shirley scowled at me. “Hush up! We’re gonna get caught!” Satisfied no one was coming to see what the commotion was about she said, “These are just a little surprise I have for the bachelorette party.” She handed them to me.
For the first time in my life, I was holding penis ice trays. I didn’t know there was such a thing! “Where on Earth did you get these?” I asked.
Aunt Shirley scoffed at my innocence. “Off the Internet. You can get anything off the Internet. I got silicone ones just like this for the jello shots.”
I handed the trays back to her. Paige was definitely gonna flip over these…and not in a good way.
“We’re going to run to the grocery store in the morning. Do you wanna go with us?” I asked.
“You betcha! I need to get some booze to do the jello shots. We’ll try some out Wednesday night before I decide on which ones to do Friday for the bachelorette party.” She twirled the trays in her hand. “I can’t wait to bust out these lovely beauties.”
I shook my head and closed her door. I don’t know why I’m still shocked at the things she sometimes does. Needing a stiff drink, I walked into the great room. The walls were painted a light crème brûlée. I know this because I spent two days last year painting them. With the natural lighting from the windows it gave the room a warm, cozy feeling.
On the far wall of the living room was a large, sliding glass door that led to the wrap-around deck outside. Crossing the room, I walked into the kitchen.
“Is she settled?” Mom asked, handing Mindy a mug of hot tea.
I gave her an incredulous look. “That woman will never be settled.”
Mom and Mindy laughed.
“I told her we were going to the grocery store in the m
orning, and she wants to go to buy some booze.”
“Sounds about right,” Mindy said, blowing on her tea and taking a tentative sip.
“What time are Paige and her mom due?” Mom asked.
“I sent her a text about an hour ago, and she said they were just half an hour behind us. So I’m expecting them any time now.”
“I’m looking forward to spending time with Bea and getting this wedding underway,” Mom said, filling the teapot with more water. “Do you want tea?”
“Maybe something a little stronger. You forget I just rode four hours with Aunt Shirley.”
Mom laughed. “I saw some whiskey in the cabinet. How about cinnamon plum tea with a shot of that?”
“Sounds fabulous.”
As mom made the tea, I went ahead and took the rest of the suitcases downstairs. There were three bedrooms and a bathroom where Paige, Mindy, Megan, and I would stay. The room Paige and I were sleeping in had two single beds. When the rest of the group got here—the men—we would have to change some rooms around and pull out a few trundle beds, but for right now we had plenty of room.
I threw the suitcase on the narrow bed and unpacked quickly. I opened the closet door. My breath caught when I saw Mom had already hung up my bridesmaid dress. I tentatively reached out to touch the exquisite dress. I wasn’t sure how fancy Paige would go since it’s just a small, home-style wedding. But she pulled no punches. This was by far the most beautiful dress I’d ever had on my body. It fit like a glove, and I felt like a million bucks wearing it. Of course, I’d only had it on twice, once to try it on and once when the alterations were done…but it was a fairy-tale feeling just the same.
It was a simple, no-frills, pale pink chiffon dress that went all the way to the floor. It had butterfly sleeves and a plunging neckline—not so great for winter. Since we wanted pictures outside, Paige decided we’d both get matching stoles.
I ran my hand down the faux fur. The bright white fur felt soft against the back of my hand. The stole fit across my shoulders and down to my elbows, closing just above my plunging neckline. It would leave a little of my neck and upper chest exposed, but it would keep us warm enough we could take a few pictures outside. We were lucky to be having unseasonably warm weather even though it was snowing a little. Thank you El Niño.
I was going to be taking all the pre-wedding pictures of Paige. It was my gift to her. The rest of the wedding pictures were going to be taken by Hank.
I pulled out my phone and sent Garrett a text. Just checking in. Made it safe.
I’d just finished hanging up the last of my clothes when I heard the water plop notification from my phone. I looked at Garrett’s reply: Good to know. Try to stay out of trouble this week, Sin.
I scowled at the phone. It’s times like this I wish I had a middle-finger emoji. The harshest emoji I had stuck his tongue out…so I sent that as my reply.
I ran upstairs to get my tea. As I walked into the kitchen, I heard a car coming down the long driveway. Figuring it was Paige, I ran to the window. But instead of pulling into our circle drive, the headlights veered off and kept on going.
“Jim must be just getting home. He’s been working nonstop from what I’ve been hearing. Houses are going up all over the lake,” Mom said.
“That’s great. I only got to talk to him for a few minutes when I saw him over the summer. He was busy then, too. But he still made time to come over and have a beer with us one night,” I said.
My mom grew up in this town—and this very house—when both were barely the size of a postage stamp. She went off to college after she graduated high school, which is where she met my dad. They got married, settled down in Granville, and had two kids. He died years ago when I was a little girl, so I never really knew him. Mom decided to stay in Granville…where she spent thirty years teaching at the local elementary school.
On rare occasions she’ll get together with a couple of her old classmates when she visits the lake house. I guess this is where she was getting her information about Jim.
I glanced out the window again and watched the taillights disappear. Jim had decided to put a Morton building up a while back. So instead of being able to see the house like we used to be able to do…we now see the back side of a rather beautiful building. I was glad he didn’t just put up an ugly shed, but instead took the time to make it appear as though the building was an extension of his house.
The workshop was beige and had multi-colored stones going halfway up the outside of the building. The slate colored roof had many different pitches. I remember him throwing out words like gables and dormers when he was putting it up, but I didn’t want to act like I didn’t know what he was talking about. I think it had something to do with the little extensions all over the roof to make it look more like a house instead of a shed.
For Jim, the Morton building was an extension of his business and offered him more seclusion. For a nosey neighbor like me, it made it impossible to see if he was home or if he had company.
Hearing another car, I looked out the window and squealed. Mindy laughed. “I’m thinking that must be Paige and her mom.”
I ran to the front door and threw it open. Mom, Mindy, and I slipped on our coat and shoes and helped Paige and her mom carry in their numerous suitcases and Paige’s wedding dress. By the time we finished, I was exhausted.
“Wanna grab some whiskey-spiked tea and unpack?” I asked.
Paige laughed. “Music to my ears.”
Mom made up a cup for Paige and we headed downstairs to unpack while Mom and Mindy helped Bea.
“Aunt Shirley already asleep?” Paige asked as she closed the bedroom door with her heel.
“Yep. But she’s all excited about going grocery shopping tomorrow to get booze for jello shots,” I laughed. “She downloaded recipes from Pinterest for different jello shots. She says we’re having an impromptu jello shot party Wednesday night to see which ones she wants to serve at your bachelorette party on Friday.”
Paige rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Great, just what I need. Your aunt drunk every day before my wedding.”
I bit back my laughter and took a drink of the warm tea instead. The heat from the tea and whiskey burned in a nice way. I decided now was not the time to tell her about the penis ice trays and penis jello molds.
I silently watched as Paige unfolded her plastic-encased wedding dress from the crook of her elbow. Her wedding dress was almost identical to my chiffon floor-length bridesmaid dress…except it was white. She also had a small band of bling under her breasts for enhancement. She was originally supposed to wear her mother’s wedding dress, but the years had not been kind to the dress, and it was deemed a lost cause.
Paige shook out the bottom of the bag. “I can’t wait to put our dresses on. Remember when we’d play dress up in our moms’ dresses and dream of this day?”
“I sure do. Now hurry up and put this stuff away, before you make me cry.”
Paige laughed and shoved the rest of the week’s clothing into her side of the dresser. Picking up her tea, she sat cross-legged on her twin bed and took a sip. “Wow, that’s some strong tea.”
“I told mom I needed something strong after having to listen to Aunt Shirley for four hours.”
Paige groaned. “Please tell me your aunt will be on her best behavior and won’t do anything stupid this week?”
I gave her my best “get real” stare. “You do remember who we’re talking about, right?”
“That’s what I’m afraid of.”
I took another drink. “I’m a little worried about her, though.”
“Why?”
I looked down at the comforter on my bed, contemplating my words. “I can’t really explain it. Sometimes I think Aunt Shirley is giving up. When she talks about the “good ole days” now, it’s not always with laughter…sometimes it’s with sadness. As though she’s coming to grips with the fact the best part of her life is over.”
“That’s so sad.”
&nbs
p; “I know. I just don’t want to see her give up. I wish there was something she could do. Like a way she could use her talents at snooping and asking questions to help others.”
Paige laughed. “A way for her to use her powers for good and not evil?”
“Exactly! But what could she do?”
We finished our drinks and changed into our pajamas. Both of us were thinking about Aunt Shirley and the upcoming week. I had no idea the storm that was about to blow in. If I had, I’d have curled up right there in that bed and never left.
Chapter 4
“Are you two lazy twits gonna sleep the day away? We’re ready to rock and roll!”
I groaned and tried to roll over on my side. Unfortunately, Aunt Shirley was sitting on my blanket so that wasn’t happening. Realizing it was useless to fight, I sighed and opened my eyes.
“What?” I snapped. Usually I’m a morning person…just not when I’m with Aunt Shirley.
“Can you two please quiet down,” Paige moaned from her bed.
“C’mon.” Aunt Shirley patted my shoulder twice. “You’ve got about twenty minutes and then we’re leaving for the store. We’ve already had breakfast. You two will have to hope for free samples at the grocery store.”
“Oh, goody…mystery samples for breakfast,” I grumbled.
The ride to the grocery store was thankfully quiet. Mom and Bea decided to stay back so they could start on the list of food they wanted solely for the day of the wedding. Our job was to pick up supplies and food to last the week. I guess Mom and Bea didn’t trust us enough to get food for the wedding…not that I could blame them. I didn’t exactly have the cooking gene. That seemed to have slipped through my DNA somehow.
Believe it or not, the grocery store in Cavern Beach is twice the size of the one we have in Granville. Since the towns are comparable in size, I guess the fact Cavern Beach sits on one of the largest lakes in Missouri makes it a necessity.
“Should we split up so this goes faster?” Mindy asked as we walked through the entrance of the store.
Girls' Night Out Murder (Ryli Sinclair 2) Page 2
