Whiskey Lullaby

by Dawn Martens

  “What?” I ask as soon as I reach them.

  Kristen pulls me to her and gives me a hug. “I’m so sorry, Jase. I’m sorry for everything. She wanted to tell you as soon as she found out that she was pregnant with Jenny, but I talked her out of it.”

  “It wasn’t just you. It was all of us,” Matty says, pulling Kristen from me to him. He wraps his arms around her. “We all should have just stayed out of it.”

  “No, you don’t understand. Julie didn’t want to even go out with Dean. I forced her to. I wouldn’t leave her alone about it. Then when he asked her to marry him, she said no. She told me she couldn’t love anyone but Jase. I kept on until she said yes,” she says and starts to cry.

  “This is no one’s fault but my brother’s,” Bethany says as she walks around the corner. “I have been blaming myself for his actions for years, but it doesn’t do any good. All we can do now is pray that the baby isn’t his.”

  “It’s not,” I say firmly. Everyone looks at me with questions in their eyes. “If someone says any different, I will kick their ass.” I walk away without giving anyone a chance to respond. I drive straight to Pop’s.

  As soon as I walk in, he hands me a beer. “Tell me what in the hell is going on.”

  We sit at the kitchen table and I tell him about the baby and about what Dean did to Julie. I still cannot get the image of him raping her from my head. “What am I going to do if the baby’s his?”

  Pop stands up and places his hand on my shoulder. “We’ll kill him. Then we’ll bury him so deep, that no one will ever find him.”

  I look into Pop’s eyes; they are filled with determination. I swallow hard and nod my head in agreement. I’ve never thought about killing someone before, but if there’s ever a man that deserves to be dead, it’s this bastard. Pop and I don’t talk anymore. He finishes his beer and heads to bed. I go to my old room and crawl into the bed that I slept in as a child. I just don’t want to go home to my lonely apartment tonight.

  Chapter 16

  Julie

  I’m at the doctor’s office waiting to get called in for my ultra sound. Bethany and Kristen wanted to come. Even Jase left a message saying he would be here if I needed him, but I felt like I had to do this on my own. I’m so nervous that I can hardly sit still. What if this baby is Dean’s? What will I do then? I’ll have to run, but what about Jase? He’s a good daddy to Jenny. I can’t take her away from him. Can I?

  I finally get called back. I’m led to one of the exam rooms. I just finish tying on the paper gown when the doctor walks in. “I was told that you requested that I do your ultra sound, instead of the technician.”

  I do my best to explain the situation without crying. He walks over to me and places a hand on my shoulder. “If you can, tell me the exact date you were assaulted and the date that you had consensual sex.”

  “I was admitted to the hospital on July 12th. He raped me the night before, or it could have been really early that morning. I don’t really remember much of it.” I take a second to think. “I was with Jase on August the 9th.”

  The doctor nods and walks over to the ultra sound machine. “That’s four weeks. There shouldn’t be any trouble determining the father.”

  He places the probe on my stomach and starts to move it around. “See that right there?” the doctor says as he points to the screen. It looks like a blinking blob to me. “That’s your baby.” He starts pushing buttons and numbers appear on the screen. He pulls the probe from my stomach and pushes a few more buttons. He then hands me a CD. “Those are pictures of your baby. Next time, you will have a 3D ultra sound; it’s kind of like a little movie. It will almost be like you’re looking right at your baby.”

  The only thing I care about right now is whether this is Dean’s baby or not. “The father?”

  “You are right at sixteen weeks. There is no way that this baby was conceived in July. This is definitely not your ex-husband’s child. I was almost certain of that before we even started, but I did not want to say anything until I knew for sure. After you were brought to the hospital, you would have been given the morning after pill. It is standard procedure after a sexual assault.”

  I am so relieved that I start to cry. The doctor continues to talk for a bit. When he finally leaves the room, I rush to get dressed. I quickly pay and make my way to my car. As soon as I’m behind the wheel, I call Jase.

  “Julie.” The sound of his voice sends me into tears again. “Don’t cry baby. Everything will be okay. I already told you that it didn’t matter to me. I’ll take care of the baby either way. That bastard will never lay his hands on it.”

  I start to laugh through my tears. “It’s not his. The baby’s yours.”

  Jase is quiet for a moment then I hear a whispered. “Thank God.”

  I hear my phone beep and see Kristen’s number pop up. “Kristen is calling. I need to answer it. I was supposed to call her as soon as I got done, but I wanted to call you first.”

  I click over without giving him time to respond. I wanted him to be the first to know, but I’m not ready to talk about us yet.

  “What happened?” Kristen asks without giving me time to say hello. I can hear Bethany in the background.

  “Jase is the daddy!” I shout with happiness.

  She screams with joy. Then she tells Bethany. I can hear Bethany shouting in the background. They are both talking and I can’t understand a thing that is being said, so I hang up the phone without saying goodbye. I lay my head on the steering wheel and let out the breath that I have been holding since Jenny’s party.

  *****

  Jase

  The baby is mine! “Fuck, yeah!” I shout out. All the guys in the garage turn to look over at me. Pop comes out of the office and asks what’s going on.

  “The baby’s mine!” I shout! I’m so fucking happy. I would have been the father to that child either way, but knowing the child is mine has me so beyond relief.

  “I knew it would work out, son,” Pop says. He walks back into his office and brings out a few beers. “Let’s celebrate the news, boy!” he says, passing me one.

  Pop and I are having a few drinks and talking about Jenny, Julie and the baby when we hear the sound of someone walking into the garage. We look over and there is Bec.

  “You better get rid of her, Jase. None of us are going to turn a blind eye to that shit again,” Pop says storming off.

  I don’t move; I let Bec come to me. “Why are you here?” I ask.

  “I thought we could talk?” she says, making it sound like a question.

  “Talk about what? It’s partly your fault why Julie left in the first fucking place. That shit’s not happening again.”

  Bec puts her head down. “I’m sorry. I’ll just leave,” she says and walks out without another word. She looks totally dejected and lost. Fuck. Another time and I would have been there for her as her friend, but now? Shit, no fucking way. I’ve always had female friends before, but after this mess, I’ve decided to just stay clear of them all. It’s not that I’m worried my dick won’t stay in my pants, but I want Julie to know she can trust me. I push Bec from my mind.

  Pop walks back in as soon as she leaves. “What in the hell was she doing here?”

  “I don’t know. She said she wanted to talk, but I ain’t going there again.”

  Pop stares at the door for a second. “I always liked that girl. She was such a sweet kid, but her parents are two of the biggest douche bags I’ve ever met. Did you know that her parents didn’t want her around Julie?”

  “What? Why the fuck not?” I cannot imagine any parent having an issue with Julie being around their kid. She was a fucking perfect kid. She was smart as hell, always on the honor roll. She didn’t drink and run around like all the rest of us did. Hell, she didn’t even date anyone until me.

  “I know you probably don’t remember, you were just a kid yourself, but Kristen and Bec have been friends since they first started school. They were always running back and fo
rth between each other’s houses, but when Julie and Brandon moved in, Bec quit coming over. Kristen wasn’t invited to her house anymore either. Finally, Angie went over to talk to Bec’s mom. The old bitch said that they did not want their daughter associating with orphans,” Pop finishes with the shake of his head.

  “Shit! That’s just wrong. Julie and Brandon couldn’t help what their mom did. Hell, my woman never did anything bad back then,” I say, defending Julie.

  “No, they couldn’t, but Bec’s parents were always uptight like that. They had to have complete control of her life. I felt sorry for that little girl. As much as I hate what happened between you two, I feel sorry her still,” Pop says, then smiles toward me. “Your woman?”

  I nod. “Julie has always been my woman.”

  “Yeah, I guess she has been,” he agrees, and then walks into his office.

  I hate that Bec had a fucked up life, but I can’t let that worry me now. Julie has to come first!

  Chapter 17

  Julie

  I drop Jenny off at Pop’s on my way to work. He says Jase will bring her back home after supper. Maybe we can talk then. He hasn't spoken to me since I called to tell him about the baby a month ago. I know he has been waiting on me to decide what I want, but I still haven't figured out what I should say. I have to do something, though because Jenny’s starting to get all quiet again.

  I'm only at my desk a few moments when my phone rings. "Julie, you have a call on line one. He wouldn’t give me his name, but he said it was a personal matter," says Bec politely.

  I'm not sure what's up with that girl, but she’s been sugary sweet since she found out I’m pregnant. As far as I'm concerned, she can go back to being a bitch. I'll be polite at work, but that's it. I know she apologized, but I’m not ready to be her friend again.

  "Julie Walker, how may I help you?" I say in the phone.

  "This has gone on long enough. It's time for you to come home. If you're not here in two weeks, I'll come get you." The sound of Dean’s voice sends a chill down my spine. He’s been calling a lot, but this is the first time that he’s spoke to me.

  He's not supposed to contact me. It was agreed upon in the divorce. He keeps talking, but I don't hear a thing. My mind is filled with images of Dean beating me. My stomach starts to roll, and I jump up to make a mad dash for the bathroom. As soon as I stand up, my ears start to ring and my heart starts to race. I try to take a step, but blackness takes over.

  I wake up lying on the couch in Mr. Friedman’s office. Bec is wiping my face with a damp cloth while Mr. Friedman is hovering behind her. I jerk away from her and try to sit up.

  “You just stay right there, little lady. You take a moment to get yourself together, then I’m going to follow you home,” Mr. Friedman says, concern filling his voice.

  Thirty minutes later, I’m walking through my front door. I’m so glad to be home; not only am I worried about Dean’s call and feeling like shit, but I can’t put up with another minute of Bec trying to take care of me. Working alongside bitchy Bec was hard, but working with her now that she has turned painfully sweet is torture. It reminds me of when we were best friends and makes me miss her even more.

  I start to walk into the kitchen to grab a glass of ice tea, but I stop when I hear a whimper. I follow the sound to Bethany's room. I'm scared to open the door. The last time I heard her cry, Dean had left her in a bloody mess on our living room floor.

  I place my ear to the door, but all I can hear is her crying quietly. I slowly open the door and look in, worried that Dean may have shown up. I can't see her anywhere. The room isn't trashed, so I can assume he hasn't been here.

  I hear another sob and realize the sound is coming from the closet. I remember her telling me that Dean used to lock her in her closet for days at a time. Hell no! I run and jerk the door open. What I see makes my stomach clench.

  Bethany’s curled up with her knees to her chest. She's holding an old, stuffed puppy dog and rocking back and forth. She looks up at me with tears in her eyes.

  "He's coming for us."

  *****

  Jase

  Jenny and I are in the waiting line at Dairy Queen getting some lunch. I went to Pop's during my lunch break and Jenny was there, so I decided to take her to grab a chicken strip basket.

  "Hello there, Jase, haven't seen you in a while." Fuck! It's Brittany again. Can't this bitch take a hint? I thought Jenny and I were pretty clear that she is not wanted.

  "Daddy, it's that mean woman again," Julie says and rolls her eyes. I have to laugh at how blunt my girl is.

  "What do you want, Brittany?"

  "Nothing really. I just heard that Julie's pregnant again. Wonder if she's going to keep this one away from you, like she did her?" she finishes by motioning her head at Jenny. I start to respond but am cut off by Jenny.

  "My momma didn't keep me away from my daddy. Daddy messed up! I would have left him too!" Jenny screams and stomps her foot.

  Brittany jumps back. “She has your temper doesn’t she?”

  “What is wrong with you? Seriously, you come over to talk to me like that. Even worse, you talk that way in front of a nine year old? Thank God, you don’t have children,” I say, disgusted at her. “Talk like that around my child again, and I won’t think twice about hitting a woman.”

  Brittany looks scared for a moment and then goes back to being a bitch. “Wonder where Julie will run off to this time?" she says with a laugh and walks away.

  I look down to Jenny and she has tears in her eyes.

  "Don't be upset, Sweet Pea. Don't pay any attention to that woman. She’s just crazy," I say, sounding a lot more certain then I am.

  Can I really trust Julie? What happens if she gets mad again? She said that she hadn't even thought about leaving, but I can’t be sure she’s telling the truth. I don't think I can handle her running off again. I can't lose Jenny. I might not know the new baby yet, but I already love it. I'm done waiting. I’ve got to talk to her, really talk, and Julie is finally going to listen to me.

  ******

  I see Julie heading towards her house as I drive Jenny back to Pop’s, so I drop Jenny off with Pop and let him know that I'm taking the rest of the day off. Julie and I need to talk, and we need to do it alone. I've given her nearly a month, and I'm tired of waiting. I plan out the whole conversation in my head during the drive to her house. I’m going to listen to what she has to say, but then she is going to hear me out. Jenny is my kid too, so is the one she’s got growing in her. Julie’s not going to run again.

  I knock on her door, but no one answers. I know they are here, because Julie and Bethany’s cars are both in the drive. I knock again, but still no response. Screw this! I open the door and walk inside. I don’t see anyone, but I hear voices from down the hall. I think I hear someone crying.

  I walk toward the voices and stop right outside of Bethany’s door.

  “He’s coming for us.” I know it’s Bethany talking, but she sounds like a little girl.

  “Did he call you too?” Julie asks. There’s a pause, then she says, “Don’t worry, hun. He’s not coming here. He’s just trying to scare us.”

  “No! He always finds me. I can never hide good enough,” Bethany screams.

  “No, Bethany. I promise he’s not going to hurt us anymore. We’ll run. We’ll run so far away that he’ll never be able to find us again.”

  Oh, hell no!

  I step into the room and I am surprised to find Julie and Bethany on the closet floor, holding on to each other. My anger at them immediately dies when I see the fear on both of their faces. Instead, a fierce need to protect Julie and Bethany fills me. “You’re not going anywhere, and no one is going to fucking hurt either of you.”

  Chapter 18

  Julie

  I’m holding onto Bethany tightly, finding comfort in our mutual fear of Dean. Fear leaps into my throat as a presence fills the room. Dean. Shit, he’s here already. What am I going to do? For a split second, m
y muscles are taut and I feel my heart plummet. Then, I hear his voice. “You’re not going anywhere, and no one is going to fucking hurt either of you.”

  I look up and see Jase walking towards us. He looks angry; I need to explain. “Jase, if he comes here, we won’t have a choice. You don't understand what he'll do."

  “No! You aren’t going anywhere and neither are you,” he says to Bethany. His eyes land on me again. “I’m not having you run off on me again. You're not taking my kids away.”

  “It wouldn’t be like that this time. You have to understand that if Dean finds us, he’ll kill us,” I say quietly; Bethany starts to sob in my arms.

  Jase kneels down on the floor beside us. “He’s not going to fucking hurt you. I’ll kill him first.”

  “You don’t know my brother. He’s not normal. He’s..."

  Bethany seems at a loss for words, so I finish for her. "He’s crazy, Jase.”

  Jase looks at us both and shakes his head. “He may be crazy, but he’s going to be dead if he messes with my family,” he says firmly.

  Bethany looks up and gives him a small smile. “But I’m not part of your family.”