Although she didn’t see him often, they had spoken a few times since renewing their acquaintance at the Coopers’ ball. He was always an amiable companion and to her relief seemed to have gotten past whatever romantic hopes he might once have harbored for her. Instead, he had been true to his word to be a friend.
“Lady Northcote.” He bowed. “What a happy coincidence, finding you here. I didn’t realize you were a reader.”
She curtsied in return. “Yes, on occasion, I have been known to pick up a book. I am pleased to see that you do the same.”
“I do. Although today I am here on an errand for a friend.”
After a couple of minutes of casual conversation, he turned to give his friend’s order to the clerk, while she made her own literary selection. They stood chatting pleasantly afterward as her purchases were being wrapped up.
“Are you in a hurry to return home now?” he asked as they walked out of the shop and stepped onto the pavement.
“Not a hurry, no. Why do you ask?”
“Oh, no reason.” He tugged at the cuff of one sleeve, appearing suddenly uncertain. “Well, that’s not strictly true, but I ought not to have raised the subject.”
“It would seem you already have, though I do not know to what subject you are referring.”
“It’s only that I could use a lady’s opinion, since I’ve no knack for doing these things on my own and all my female relations are out of Town at present.”
Torn between exasperation and amusement at his rambling, she reached out and briefly touched his arm. “Lord Eversley, please, I beseech you. Just tell me what you require.”
He stopped and met her gaze. “Forgive me, dear lady. My nerves are getting the best of me. You see, I am planning to ask a certain young lady to marry me.”
“Oh.” She smiled. “How wonderful. My felicitations. Might I ask the name of the lucky girl, or would you prefer to keep it a secret?”
He studied her. “Well, I suppose there’s no harm, considering we have you to thank for our happiness, at least in part.”
“Me? How can I possibly be responsible?”
“Why because you brought us to one another’s attention, of course. Or rather you helped bring her to my attention.”
Her forehead creased. “In what way? Who is the young woman with whom you are smitten?”
“Lettice Waxhaven.”
Her eyebrows shot to the top of her head and her mouth dropped open.
“I’d met her before, of course, but I’d never really taken the time to get to know her,” Eversley continued, too busy talking to notice what Esme was sure must be a look of utter stupefaction on her face.
“We shared a coach, she and her mother and I, when we left Braebourne,” he said. “Lettice and I got to talking. She’s really quite a wonderful girl, very giving and thoughtful. And so sporty. Did you know she loves lawn bowling and archery? I had no idea we shared so many interests in common.”
Esme would never have associated any of those descriptions with mean, spiteful Lettice Waxhaven. But maybe she hadn’t really gotten to know the real Lettice either. Perhaps jealousy had caused the other girl to behave the way she had around Esme. Because if there was one thing she remembered about Lettice, it was the fact that she had been desperately in love with Lord Eversley.
And now it would appear he was in love with her too and about to pop the question.
“Well, I am delighted for you both,” she said. “But I really don’t see how I can be of assistance.”
“As I said, if you can spare the time, I’m on my way now to pick out an engagement ring. I realize it’s a dreadful imposition, but if you could help me, I would be immensely grateful.”
“Oh, I’m not sure that’s such a good idea. I don’t really know Lettice’s taste,” she hedged.
“But you’re a woman. Anything you choose would have to be better than anything I’d select.”
She hesitated, worrying her lower lip between her teeth as she decided whether or not to be completely honest. “Eversley, I know you mean well, but I don’t think Lettice would like knowing it was me who helped choose her wedding ring.”
“Why not?”
“Well, she doesn’t really like me.”
He brushed off her remark. “Of course she does. She even told me how sorry she is for what happened that night at Braebourne. How she didn’t really mean to bump into you and that she’s felt dreadful about it ever since.”
Esme rather doubted that tale. On the other hand, she supposed that if it were not for Lettice Waxhaven’s actions, her drawing of Gabriel would never have been revealed. And if the drawing hadn’t been revealed she would never have met and married Gabriel and fallen in love. When she considered it in that light, she supposed she was the one who owed Lettice a debt of gratitude. Still . . .
“Very well,” she said, “but swear you won’t tell her I helped you. A lady likes to think her groom made the choice all by himself.”
A wide grin creased his cheeks. “You always have been a bang-up girl, Lady Northcote. If I weren’t marrying Lettice, I believe I would kiss you.”
She laughed and took a step back. “Yes, well, please don’t. My husband would most definitely take exception.”
Eversley shivered. “Indeed. Northcote is one man I would never want to cross.”
“Where is this jewelers?”
“Only a few blocks away. We can walk if you’d like?”
She nodded. “Yes, that sounds lovely. I’ll have my coachman follow us there.”
• • •
Gabriel left Brooks’s club, but rather than taking his curricle home, he decided to walk, sending his tiger on ahead without him. It was a fine spring day and he was eager to stretch his legs. The city thrummed around him, vibrant with life and bustle and noise. But as much as he enjoyed the city, he was beginning to grow tired of the constant busyness and the demands on both his time and Esme’s.
He thought back to the peace and serenity of Highhaven, of the blissful weeks he and Esme had spent there during their honeymoon. He wondered what she would say to the idea of going back, leaving the city and Season behind and escaping to their own private retreat by the sea.
Despite her obvious popularity among the Ton, and the pleasure she seemed to take at the various entertainments they attended, he’d sensed a growing restlessness in her lately. She seemed oddly secretive at times, drifting off, lost in her own thoughts when she didn’t think he noticed. He told himself it was nothing, that she was only tired from the pace of their current social obligations. But he couldn’t help wondering if it might be something more.
I should suggest a trip to Highhaven. A change of scene would do both of us good.
He turned a corner and continued on another pair of blocks. He was looking ahead, studying the other passersby, when he caught sight of a familiar coach and team of horses.
Esme had told him she was going shopping. She must be in one of the stores.
He was about to cross the street to find her, when the door to a jeweler’s shop opened and out she came.
Only she wasn’t alone.
She was with a man. A man he recognized.
Eversley.
Gabriel’s hands fisted at his sides as he watched her smile and laugh with her former beau. Eversley laughed as well, then moved closer to her, taking her arm as they both stepped out of the way of a couple trying to walk past them.
For a moment she and Eversley looked cozy and conspiratorial, as if they were both in on something only the two of them knew. They turned then and moved toward the carriage. Eversley took her hand and bent over it before assisting her inside.
Gabriel stepped back, sliding into the concealment of a building where he would not be seen. He waited until her carriage drove away.
And that’s when the pain hit, his stomach roi
ling as if he’d just taken a brutal punch to the gut.
And he supposed in a way he had.
Yet despite the evidence before his eyes, he couldn’t believe she would betray him. Not his Esme.
Then again, he’d been deceived before. Quite suddenly he didn’t know what to think.
Blindly, he turned away and started to walk.
Chapter 27
It was well after midnight when Esme heard a key scrape in the lock and the quiet click of the front door as it opened and closed again.
Leaping to her feet, she hurried out of the drawing room where she had been waiting for the last several hours and into the hallway. Relief flooded through her at the sight of Gabriel as he set his hat and gloves on the hall table. Moving quickly forward, she wrapped her arms around him and pressed her face to his chest, breathing in his warm, familiar scent. “Gabriel, thank God you’re home. I’ve been so worried.”
She waited for his arms to come around her, for him to explain what had happened and why he was so late in returning. Instead, he remained stiff, his arms hanging loosely at his sides.
She looked up. “Where have you been? I expected you hours ago. Your driver said you left your club around three this afternoon. I sent him back out later to look for you, but no one seemed to have any idea where you might have gone.”
He pulled away from her and stepped free. “I’ve been walking.” His voice sounded dull and tired and wrong.
Very wrong.
A shiver went through her. “All this time you’ve been walking? Where did you go?”
He shrugged, not meeting her eyes. “Around the city. I don’t know. I’m going to my study.”
Turning, he crossed the vestibule and started down the corridor, his footsteps echoing on the cool marble. She stared after him for a long, silent minute, then followed.
He was pouring a drink by the time she entered the room—whiskey from the looks of it. Raising the glass to his mouth, he tossed it back, then picked up the decanter again to pour another. He replaced the stopper with a noisy clink but didn’t acknowledge her.
As she stood watching him, she remembered another time when he had changed abruptly for no apparent reason. When he had closed her off. When he had left.
“What is it?” she asked softly. “What has happened?”
He ignored her and drank more whiskey.
“Won’t you talk to me? I’ve been frantic all evening, wondering what could have happened to you. I imagined all sorts of dreadful things. That you had taken ill or were in an accident or had even been set upon by thieves and murdered.”
His eyes met hers, his own derisive. “Thieves, Esme? Murder? Really? I had no idea you were so dramatic, but then again, you are an artist, I suppose. And here I assumed you’d still be out, dancing the night away, and would barely have even noticed my absence.”
Her lips parted on an astonished inhalation. “You know I wouldn’t go out for the evening without you. We were promised at the Nugents’ tonight, but I sent a note ’round and made our excuses.”
“You needn’t have done. You ought to have attended. I’m sure it wouldn’t have been difficult for you to find some willing gentleman to escort you.”
A muscle flexed in his jaw, his eyes turning darker.
She crossed her arms over her chest. “What is that supposed to signify, since I presume you do not mean one of my brothers?”
He flexed his fingers and slammed the glass down on his desk, oblivious to the alcohol that splashed over the side. “No, I damned well do not. I saw you today,” he said accusingly.
“Saw me? Saw me where?”
“With him. Eversley.”
She was so astonished, a laugh rippled from her throat.
Gabriel’s eyes shot fire. “So you think it’s funny, do you? The two of you looked awfully cozy, snuggling up together outside that shop.”
“Do you mean Hatchards?”
“No, I mean that jewelry shop. Was he buying you some trinket? I’ve watched him slaver over you like a besotted puppy ever since he came to Town. Don’t think you can hide it from me. As we both know, he was one of your beaux and the two of you were expected to wed, but you had to take me instead when you thought you would be ruined. He wouldn’t step up then, but perhaps he’s regretting his decision. Perhaps you’re regretting yours as well.”
All humor fell away, her hands and heart turning cold. “I regret nothing. And you, my lord, are a ridiculous, jealous fool.”
A muscle twitched near his right eye this time, his jaw clenched so tight she wouldn’t have been surprised to hear it snap. “How dare you.”
“No, how dare you. Accusing me of deceiving you, when I have been nothing but faithful and honest. Condemning me on the flimsiest of excuses too, I might add.”
“Excuses? I saw you,” he charged, his voice deep and grim.
“You saw me what? You saw me speak with a gentleman of my acquaintance on a public street in full view of the world. Watched me get into my carriage and drive home. Alone. Is that what you saw? Now I have a question for you. Why were you spying on me?”
He scowled. “I wasn’t spying. I was walking back from the club when I happened to see you come out of that shop. And if it’s all so innocent, what were you doing in there with him?”
She let out a huff of exasperation. “I was helping him choose an engagement ring for the young woman he hopes to marry. He asked for my assistance, as a friend, and I gave it. If you don’t believe me, you can ask Nathan. He was there the entire time and knows everywhere I went and everyone I saw. He probably heard every blasted word we spoke as well.”
“You shouldn’t have male friends.”
“And you should stop treating me as if I’m your mother or that girl, that Amanda, who broke your heart and left me to pay for it.”
He flinched as if she’d struck him, something harsh and bleak darkening his eyes. In that instant she wondered if she’d gone too far. But she wasn’t going to back down. Not when their very future was at stake.
“What do you know about my mother and that other . . . person you mentioned?” he demanded coldly. “Obviously some little bee has been busy filling your ears with all sorts of juicy details. Who was it?”
A little shiver of nerves went through her. “It doesn’t matter who it was.”
“Some gossip here in London, was it?” he pressed. “Or perhaps one of your chatty friends, the ones you have in for tea? Or, no . . . wait . . . I believe I have it. Was it my uncle?”
The answer must have shown in her eyes, because he nodded at his last guess. “Ah yes, of course, it would be dear uncle Sidney. I am only surprised you haven’t said something about it before now.”
“I knew it must be distressing for you, so I didn’t see the point.”
“Didn’t want to offer your pity, you mean.”
“No, Gabriel, that’s not—”
“But, please, let’s make sure you’ve heard the whole sordid tale. What did he tell you? Did he mention that my mother was little better than a whore and how my father drove himself to madness over her, then blew his brains out after he murdered her and her latest lover? What else did he share with you?”
“Nothing. Don’t—,” she beseeched quietly.
“Did he tell you his favorite part? That he thinks I’m some by-blow spawn from one of my mother’s many lovers? That I look like her but not like my father, who probably wasn’t my father at all, since I am nothing like anyone on the Landsdowne side of the family? How I’m not worthy to bear the Northcote title and am nothing but a misbegotten devil that he tried but failed to fix by means of a belt and the back of his hand?”
“Stop, Gabriel.” Tears filled her eyes. “Please, stop.”
“No,” he said relentlessly, “you brought it up, so let’s get it all out in the open. Let’s have the truth, so you�
��ll know exactly who it is you’ve married.”
She heard the echo of his uncle’s cruel words, understood the damage he’d carried inside him like an unhealed wound. She wanted to take him in her arms and comfort him, as he should have been loved and comforted as a boy. Instead, she stayed where she was, afraid he would interpret her action as the pity he claimed she felt rather than love.
“Gabriel, I do know who you are, and none of the rest matters to me.” She drew a breath. “You are a decent, brave, intelligent man who hides his kindness away where others cannot see it. But I do see it. It is in the kindness you show the servants and the animals. I feel it every time you kiss and touch me.
“You were treated abominably as a child, first by parents who ought to have loved and protected you rather than destroying each other in pursuit of their own selfish desires. Then again by a monster who should have cared for you and nurtured you when you were grieving rather than hurting you even more. You lost your brother and were betrayed by a girl to whom you had promised your love and by whom you had it cruelly rejected. But in spite of all that, you’re the man you are today. A man with a good heart even if he wants the world to think it is black.”
“Maybe it is black and you are mistaken,” he said.
She shook her head. “No. In all the ways that count, you are a good man, Gabriel Landsdowne. You’re not a saint, but who wants a saint? Only think what a great bore you would be then.”
The corner of his mouth twitched, a glimmer of the darkness receding from his eyes.
She stepped closer. “And even if it’s true about your parentage, which I don’t believe, it doesn’t change who you are. Even if you showed me incontrovertible proof that you were another man’s son, it would make no difference to the way I feel.”
“And what is that? You say you love me, Esme, but . . .”
“Yes, but what?”
He frowned and looked away.
She swallowed, a lump in her throat. “And now we circle back around to what started all of this between us tonight. You do not trust me.”
Happily Bedded Bliss: The Rakes of Cavendish Square Page 30
