by Sam Destiny
“I’m so damn close, Ev, I’m not sure I can hold much longer,” he gasped into the crook of her neck, and she cupped the back of his head, her own edge so close, she could almost feel it.
“Just a little more,” she begged. “Please. So, so close.”
And she’d never before been there with another man. Not when they’d had her in bed for hours. Not when they’d teased her in the shower.
Not ever.
Yet Tank had taken practically no time to get her right there. Or it was the outdoors, the thrill of maybe being caught.
It had to be, because everything else meant she’d be thinking of Tank in ways she feared would leave her broken.
“Evangeline.” Her name was a prayer on his lips, a barely-there gasp as she felt him jerking inside of her, the waves crashing together over her head, taking her down, making her shake.
“Yes.”
Just one word, but it was all she needed him to know, although there was no doubt he could feel the way she was reacting to him. He moved slowly, helping her ride out the orgasm until her heart rate settled again.
Tank held her, almost gentle, kissing her pulse, kissing her cheek, nibbling on her jaw, then he suddenly pulled back and placed her on her feet again.
“There, happy now? Quick, hard fuck against the side of the house and your best friend almost caught us.”
He placed a hand next to her head against the wall after she’d pulled up her pants, and leaned in so close, their noses almost touched. “Was that what you wanted?”
She froze, the words getting stuck in her throat. Yes and no, that was the answer.
Because now that they were done, the crime had been committed, she realized it wasn’t just the sex she craved, but the adventure with him.
“You wanted me,” she stammered and he pressed a hard, angry kiss to her lips.
“Yes, and I got you, right?” There almost seemed to be a catch in his throat, or did she just hear it because she wished it were there?
“I’m gonna dispose of the condom away from the house. You better get back inside, Evy,” he muttered dismissively and then turned away, leaving the house behind when he hit the street. She watched his receding back and had the urge to run after him, to say something, but there was really nothing she could say because he wasn’t one for kids and relationships.
As it turned out, sadly she wasn’t one for meaningless fucks because this? This had made her heart race like nothing ever had before, and she had a sneaking suspicion most of it was due to the soldier currently all but running away from her ‘welcome’ party.
He was such an idiot. With the condom in hand—a hot reminder of what he’d just done—he walked until he found a trashcan. Not caring whom it belonged to, he threw the condom in and then paused next to a tree on the street, resting his head back against it, staring up at the star-filled sky.
His whole body was trembling, and it certainly hadn’t been the exercise he’d been getting, but the way he’d come, hard and unyielding, with no way to keep it back any longer with Evy.
God, had he ever come that fast, that hard? He couldn’t remember. In fact, he could hardly ever remember the girls he took up against one wall or the other, but he sure knew it wouldn’t happen anymore because nothing would compare.
He couldn’t believe how much he’d wanted it with her and he knew trying to lie to himself would be useless.
Slowly he made his way back to Hilary’s place, to the inviting lights that now held less temptation than before. No, instead he was tempted to seek the shadows and find out if she’d lingered; if she’d needed as much time to calm herself down as he had.
His parting words had been cruel, he knew that, but the words he’d had on the tip of his tongue instead had terrified him.
Let’s try this thing.
Please, we should see where this leads.
Did you feel it, too?
All those romantic notions that were nothing to a guy like him.
“Thomas!”
He almost snorted as Jazz came out of the house, holding out a bottle of beer for him before nodding toward the left and the small bench there.
“I’m not in the mood,” Tank replied, wanting to dodge his best friend, but Jazz didn’t let him.
“Neither am I. Sit.”
And that was the reason why Tank did, taking the beer with no intention of drinking it.
“One beer won’t hurt you, and you might need it because I need you to stop dodging me when I ask, and stop lying, okay?”
“Can’t promise that because I’m not even sure what we’re talking about. However, I can promise you I didn’t steal your collection of porn magazines. That was someone else.”
As if Jazz would possess those.
As if anyone would take them.
“You really are in love, and it’s Evangeline. Of all people on this damn planet it’s Tessa’s best friend. How did that happen?” Jazz asked and Tank knew he couldn’t get around talking this out now. Then again, he wanted to talk about it because he needed someone to sort the mess in his mind.
“Are you asking as Tessa’s fiancé, or as my best friend?”
“I’m always both, but that doesn’t mean you cannot trust me.”
Tank snorted. “Of course not, you’ll only blab everything to Tessa the moment I’m out of sight.”
Jazz thought for a long moment, taking a drag from his bottle of Coke and then sighed. “I won’t. You’re my best friend, and have been for years, so tell me.”
Tank sorted through his thoughts, tried to find the one to best start with, but there was nothing, so he began with the first time he’d thought there could be more.
“Remember when you were with those important people and there was this Halloween ball going on the girls went to alone?”
“You, Evy, and Burger,” Jazz recalled.
“She sat across from me, pale and frustrated, saying she wished she’d had sex with a guy who could’ve manned up after holding his dick in. And I was sitting there, thinking I would’ve with her. Had I accidentally gotten her pregnant, I would’ve at least offered money.”
He knew Jazz wanted to make a comment, but instead lifted the bottle to his lips. Tank appreciated it.
“After that thought came the one with me and a child. Even in that weird future fantasy I knew no woman would go for someone like me, so it would just be the child, but… Well… I wanted it.”
And it had been scary.
“Okay, so that’s when you realized life was about more, but when did you know you fell for her?”
Tank smirked. “Are you trying to figure out if you could’ve stopped it?”
His best friend didn’t even crack a smile. “Stop being ridiculous. I just can’t… I don’t know. It’s so unlike you and I know what you think about romance and all that. I… I don’t know.”
Jazz lowered his head and Tank did the same, peeling off the label of his beer bottle. “I know why you’re worried, okay? Don’t you think I know I’m the worst possible match for any woman?”
He didn’t know why he’d said that, and he wasn’t sure what he was hoping for. Did he want Jazz to confirm or deny it?
“Honestly? I doubt that, Thomas. You’re loyal and protective, so I think if you really set your mind to it, you could be good for a woman. I’m just a little worried that you don’t have the slightest idea how relationships work.”
“Of course I do,” Tank instantly protested. Nope, you have no clue whatsoever. Movies and food, right? That’s a relationship, right? he thought to himself.
“When was your last serious relationship that lasted longer than a night?”
“Mary-Sue was my last relationship,” Tank replied, proud he remembered the name.
“That was during your last year of high school. You showed me the pictures.”
Damn, Jazz was right.
“Okay, I get it, you know? I do. But isn’t that the whole point of…” He swallowed. “Love? That it changes you?
Makes you want to be a better man?”
Jazz stood with a smile and Tank was about to ask what was going on when the door opened and Tessa came out.
“Oh, there you are. I think we should leave. Evy is off to bed anyway and we might get lucky, having a few hours to ourselves.” She winked and Tank groaned.
“It’s middle of the night.”
Tessa stepped into Jazz, kissing his chest before looking back at Tank. “Once you have a child those are really the only hours you can hope for,” she explained and Tank shook his head.
“You two are disgustingly happy. I can’t stand it.” He cracked a smile anyway because it looked good on Jazz.
Tessa watched him for a long moment, her expression unreadable, and Tank felt himself blush under her scrutiny, as if she could read him better than he thought.
“You’re a good one, Tank, and one day there’ll be a woman for you, making you understand what Jazz and I have.”
Jazz coughed and Tank glared at him while Tessa made her way back inside.
His best friend came closer, leaning in to whisper conspiratorially. “You know what, T? I think you’re not even going to be the problem in this. I don’t think Evy is any more willing to find her happy ending than she was willing to bet Tess and I could end up together. She’s a tough nut to crack and… I don’t know, I guess I don’t even know her well enough to know how you could impress her. I doubt banging her against the wall will do the job.”
Tank felt all color leave his cheeks. “What makes you say that?”
Jazz held up his hands in a pacifying gesture. “It’s your usual M.O. with girls. I… Wait, is there something I should know?”
“Oh please. Evy wouldn’t let me get near her like that even if I was the last man in Monterey. You and I both know that. One night stands landed her in this predicament to begin with.”
Jazz arched a brow. “You call her having a daughter a predicament?”
“Her being here in the US to do her job away from home.”
“I thought she was happy coming here.”
Tank shrugged. He’d thought so, too, but somehow she was… not really as enthusiastic as he’d expected her to be. “I guess she’s just terribly exhausted.”
The door opened again and this time Jazz jumped into action when Tessa came, grabbing the baby stuff to load it into the car.
“I’m gonna leave you to it.” He punched Jazz’s side, feeling the unbelievable urge to hug his best friend and his fiancée, but not wanting to act on it.
Instead he went back inside because no matter what, there was one thing he needed to do before he left that night.
Evy was lying in bed, listening to the commotion downstairs. She’d pretended to be jet-lagged and tired, but really she just couldn’t face Tessa without feeling guilty for all sorts of reasons.
Leila was asleep in the room next door; a room that now had pink walls and unicorn pictures all over. Tessa and Hilary had gone all out to create a wonderland fit for a princess.
Her door suddenly opened and she closed her eyes, afraid it could be Tessa wanting to check on her one last time before leaving. And when in the world had she become afraid of talking to her best friend, the person who knew her better than anyone in the world?
When you started lusting after someone you consider a douche and know he’s been one to her, too, her brain provided.
The bed dipped, but she was pretty sure it wasn’t Tessa. Her best friend would’ve whispered her name from the closed again door.
“Are you really asleep or did you run?”
Tank.
His voice was soft, subdued, and yet she instantly recognized it.
And… how in the world did he know she’d been running away from everything?
It didn’t matter though because she was glad he was there. She had something to say she wanted to get out rather soon.
Sitting up, she was thankful for the utter darkness in the room. She didn’t want to see Tank’s face because then she could pretend he’d liked their earlier encounter as much as she had, instead of being just another number for him.
“I’m sorry,” she started. “I’m so sorry for outside. I didn’t mean to make you feel as if…”
“I wanted it, Ev, and you know it. You felt it. I could hardly hide it.”
She knew he was trying to make a joke, but his voice cracked ever so slightly.
“You tried to stop us…me. I just really… I can’t explain it properly. God, Tank, I’ve longed to find out how it feels, those rushed pleasures, that brief moment, and I’m too scared to try it with strangers really, so I thought…”
“I’m your man.”
The words sounded loaded, heavy, and her heart thudded in her chest, confused and excited at once.
“My safest bet,” she replied.
“You were right. The only bet really. And I’d always be it again, if you feel up to it, because… well… it was different, and you don’t need to go looking for sex when you know guys like me.”
Guys like me…
She was tempted to ask what he meant, when he charged on. “However, I’m here to make sure this doesn’t make things between us awkward. We’re grownups and I’m still your…”
“Friend,” she supplied because, hell, that’s what they were. He’d been her only true confidante for months because she’d never once worried about him telling anyone else, or asking others what he could do to make her feel better. He soaked up her rants like a sponge, cracked jokes, and bam, she was better again.
“Exactly. So we’re good?”
“We’re good,” she agreed and they were. His voice sounded lighter, less edgy and yet she didn’t feel the bed move. He’d stayed seated.
“Did you honestly just propose a friends-with-benefits thing?” she suddenly asked as the thought struck and his words truly settled in.
He chuckled. “It might get me regular sex without having to buy the chick drinks before.”
“You’re incorrigible,” she laughed, not being able to put into words how much she liked the idea of that arrangement.
“Just helpful and efficient.”
This time the bed moved and Evy cleared her throat.
“Tank? I cannot risk any sexual diseases and all.”
She heard him sigh and couldn’t exactly place it. “We used a condom and I never go without a hood, with anyone.” There was a pause, as if in his mind he added something different and Evy couldn’t help but think she wished she knew what it was. “And besides that, you don’t think I’m going to sleep with others when I know we’ll have fun, do you?”
“Well, I know I won’t,” she stated quietly.
“Neither will I. And now sleep, Ev. There’s an American cell for you downstairs. I grabbed it earlier and forgot to tell you. I saved my number, just in case you’ve forgotten it. Call me, okay? Whenever.”
He left before she could reply.
Somehow she felt as if the ‘whenever’ hadn’t referred to a booty call.
The small house outside of Monterey looked as rundown as ever and yet Tank knew once inside it would be impeccable.
His mother never would’ve won the mother-of-the-year award, but she still had been keeping him clean and feeding him, which was important. Always had been.
Though now when he came home he saw her for the wreck she was. “Mom?” he called, waiting in the dark hallway leading to the back of the house and the kitchen. Next to him were the stairs, narrow and also dark, telling him his mother hadn’t yet bothered opening any curtains anywhere.
Three days had passed since Evy had arrived and he hadn’t heard from her again. It was no surprise really, with her settling in at the new office, the new home, and into old friendships she probably had no idea how to deal with just yet.
Not that he checked his phone often to see if she’d called.
Pussy-whipped.
That was what he’d called Jazz back when Tessa had been around the first time, and he’d been angry abo
ut the way Jazz had been ready to jump whenever she asked for him.
Now he felt like doing the same. There were moments he told himself he wouldn’t if he were busy, but he also knew it was a lie.
If she needed him, and he proved he was always there, maybe there’d be hope for them on the horizon.
“Thomas? Is that you?”
I’m an only child, mother, who else would call you mom? he snarled in his mind.
“Yes. Where are you?” But he already knew. The voice came from the living room and he followed it there, finding his mother on the couch. A quick sweep with his eyes proved the room to be clean and well-kept. He hadn’t expected anything else.
His mother’s problem never had been drugs or alcohol, but the inability of loving another soul. Emotional bonds weren’t for her, never had been, and she’d had a string of lovers from the moment Tank could remember.
He dropped down on the sofa next to her, checking the TV. She was watching some cop show and they were hunting a guy through a dark warehouse.
“Hey Mom,” he greeted her and she turned off the TV before facing him. Others might have construed that as interest in him, but he knew better.
She thought the talk would be over faster if he worried he was interrupting something.
“Son, what brings you here today?”
He wasn’t exactly sure. He didn’t do obligatory visits with her, son or not, and he certainly never dropped by unannounced, but that morning he’d gotten up and felt the need to talk to someone who didn’t know Jazz, Tessa, or Evy.
Someone who didn’t know him, either.
“What if you were to be the grandmother of a nearly two-year-old in just a few short months? And no, she’s not my child, but there is this woman…”
He didn’t finish when seeing his mother’s disgusted face. “You’d raise a child that isn’t yours? Another man didn’t consider the child worthy of him and you’re there to jump in? Didn’t I teach you better? You never went for another child’s used toys. You wanted your own and you got them. Don’t start anything else as a man now.”
“I love that little girl.” And it was true. When they’d been Skyping and she’d been around, he’d done everything to make her giggle because it made his heart light.
