After dinner, I packed a suitcase and then said goodbye to my brothers and sisters.
“You’re not going to disappear again are you, sissy?” Beth asked.
Although her question made my heart race, I tried to ignore that reaction and answer her fear with reasoned calm. “No, baby girl, I’ll be with Beau and Angel. They’ll keep me safe, and Beau’s house is just around the corner.”
“Fact, ya can come ’round to visit whenever ya want,” Beau added. “I know Angel would love to see ya too.”
“And I’ll be back around here as much as I can. It’s just time for me to be a grown-up with Beau.”
“You promise you’ll visit?”
To reassure her, I held up my hand with my pinkie out. “Pinkie swear.”
I said goodbye to everyone else and then grabbed my bag and gave it to Beau. “I’m going to take my bike. If that’s okay with you?”
I didn’t tell him that part of my reason for wanting the bike was so I had an escape route if things got too much for me at his place.
Beau smiled as he loaded my suitcase into his car. “Darlin’, I get to hold ya all night tonight, and tomorrow night, and every night I can think of. I can take a few minutes apart for you to ride to my place in exchange. Plus, I’ve been dyin’ to see ya on the bike again.”
I reached up and placed my hand over his heart, right where the tattoo he had of me rested on his chest. “Did you want to follow me then?”
Beau stuck a little way behind me as I wound my bike through the handful of streets to get to his house. It was actually a little freeing being back on the bike again. The last time I’d climbed onto it was when I’d ended up at Cedar Creek Falls after needing to escape my house. It was also the day of my breakthrough with Mum. Uncle Flynn had returned it during one of his trips to ensure everything was running smoothly at home while Mum and Dad were up at the hospital.
By the time I had my helmet off, Beau stood in front of me.
“Ya need to take me for another ride one day,” he said before slicking his tongue over his lips.
“You really like seeing me on my bike, don’t you?”
“There ain’t nothin’ I’ve seen that can compare.” He wrapped one arm around my waist and slid his hand down over my arse. I shivered at the touch, in a not entirely pleasant way. Beau read my reaction and lifted his hold back up to my waist.
Angel rushed out of the house. “This isn’t a joke, is it? You’re moving in?”
“I hope you don’t mind?”
“Are you kidding me, girlie?” she asked, practically skipping as she continued to close the distance. “I’m over the fucking moon! The three of us are going to have so much fun living together.”
She wrapped her arms around me as Beau and I chuckled at her enthusiasm.
I settled into Beau’s easier than I’d expected to.
It helped that there were no babies crying in the night and that Beau’s reluctance to have sex was completely wiped away. In fact, we were freer together than we had been the whole time I’d been home from the States.
A few days later, the interview was on TV and Angel served us all drinks while we sat and watched it again. I was relieved it was out there, even if I did end up going to bed early—followed instantly by Beau.
Once the interview had gone live, the phone rang off the hook. Other outlets wanted follow-up interviews. Surprisingly, most didn’t want more information about what had happened to me but instead wanted to know more about Beau and me. When Mum put the options to us, Beau and I agreed to a post-Bathurst press conference. It would leave us free for the preparations for Bathurst while still showing the sponsors I was willing to play the promotions game so they wouldn’t pull the plug when the time came for me to take over from Steve Parkins.
When the team headed to Bathurst, Beau and I stayed in Brisbane until after my appointment with Dr Bradshaw. After my appointment was finished, we swung by the house to pick up Angel and then the three of us hit the road. The drive was going to take around twelve hours, and we’d already agreed to take it in turns so we could drive through the night and get there in time. We could have flown most of the way and hired a car to get to the track, but tackling the airport with the interview still fresh in people’s minds just seemed too much of a hassle.
I was drifting to sleep in the backseat when Angel and Beau launched into a duet in the front. They weren’t intentionally noisy, but the passion in the music had obviously gotten the better of them both. I opened my eyes and watched with amusement as they leant towards each other when singing the call and response chorus. As they sang, they moved and danced in almost perfect sync.
The lyrics were about fighting for someone, and the country pop sound had me smiling as I listened to Beau’s and Angel’s perfectly in-tune voices. It had been a while since Angel had let go and sung properly, at least in front of me. It was something she used to do during the assembly parades at school from time to time and had often done as we’d danced around my bedroom during sleepovers.
Angel leant across the car and sang into a pretend microphone before her gaze fell on Beau and she grinned before singing a little louder. Beau turned away, still singing the lyrics. Angel’s gaze travelled over the side of his face. Then her lips turned up.
I snapped my eyes closed when she sent a guilty glance in my direction. Leaving my eyes closed so they would think I was already asleep, I listened to their conversation when they stopped singing.
“We’ve barely had time to talk lately,” Angel said.
I hadn’t thought about the strain their relationship must have been under. Between Angel and I keeping up our dates, Beau now being needed in the office to train and prepare for his permanent role as race coordinator, and me taking all of Beau’s time at home, Beau and Angel wouldn’t have had any alone time.
A darkness swept over me, twisting into my heart to say that they shouldn’t need alone time. The truth was though that they were friends. They’d been there for each other when I’d frozen them both out. Plus, it made it easier for me if they were friends. For starters, it meant Beau had someone else when I needed him to go away. That didn’t stop the bag of snakes that writhed in my stomach at the way Angel looked at Beau when she didn’t think I was watching. So many times, I’d been in his arms and she’d sent glances so full of longing that it phyically hurt to witness them.
“Heh, yeah, it’s been crazy. You and Phoebe are gettin’ along better now though, ain’t ya?”
“Yeah, I think so.” I could feel her eyes on me. “I hope so.”
“Ya don’t sound too convinced.”
“I am, and we really are. I just . . . it’s hard sometimes, keeping all of this a secret. Somehow it’s harder than it ever was before now that she’s around all the time. I didn’t expect it to be so difficult.”
When Beau didn’t respond, I cracked open one eye to see what was happening, and found he’d reached for her hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb. “I understand, sweetness. I know it ain’t easy. Why d’ya think I’m here in Australia?”
Because I was supposed to be asleep, I couldn’t exactly ask what they were talking about. It was clearly something they’d discussed with each other before though. Some secret that Angel had to keep from me . . .
Had something happened between them after all?
I closed my eyes as my heart raced.
“It’s worth it though,” Angel said with a sigh. “I can’t imagine having to go back to how it was a few months ago. She’s come so far.”
I swallowed down the need to speak and tried not to let my mind run through conspiracy theories. Beau loved me; I had no doubt about that. I trusted him—I had to or I would go crazy.
With that decision made, I forced the thoughts out of my head and tried to get some sleep before it would be my turn to drive.
WHEN BEAU handed over the wheel, he didn’t sleep. Instead, Angel headed to the back seat to try to relax. Even when I suspected she might have be
en asleep, I didn’t raise the issue of what I’d overhead. The mood grew more solemn the later it got. The roads were full of road trains, and I had to hold tight onto the steering wheel as I overtook them. It was taking all of my focus.
Angel took the last shift, and despite the fear I usually felt when she drove, I was content to take the backseat with Beau. I sat in the middle seat and wrapped my arms around him. With his chest beneath my head, I tried to get a little more sleep.
By the time we arrived in Bathurst early the next morning, we’d each driven for a little over four hours each, and the total journey had taken almost fourteen hours including breaks. We were ushered straight to the track and into the team area—I had barely an hour to prepare before I was due in the car for the first practise session. It was the best thing in many regards because I didn’t have a chance to overthink the weekend ahead.
The tight timeframe also meant I didn’t have to face the media for an interview. Instead, Beau headed straight to the pits while I kitted up to get in the car.
“Phoebe, I’m glad you’re here,” Dad said. “There’s been a slight change in plans.”
“What’s that?”
He looked over my suit and grinned as if he’d never been more proud of me. “You’ll be starting the big race.”
“What?” It had been agreed that Steve would start the race. It was his last attempt at tackling the mountain after all. It made sense, and it also made it easier if he started and finished, and I just took a straight session in the middle to get the minimum number of laps.
“Steve wants to try a new strategy, and I think there’s some merit in his suggestions.”
“And that strategy involves me starting first?”
“Yeah. It’ll be good experience for you in getting it off the line if you’re going to take the car over next year.” I still hadn’t signed the contract, but between the interview and the way I’d felt at Sandown, Dad was pushing on as if the contract was a done deal. In truth, it effectively was. The signature was just the bottom line.
“Does it also involve me finishing?” I wasn’t sure I was ready for that.
“We were thinking three changes so that Steve is the driver who crosses the line. It also puts less pressure on him for the stints. He’s not as young as he used to be.”
“He’s only a few years younger than you.”
“Exactly. Practically an old man.”
“You really want me to start?” I asked, changing the subject. The question I really wanted to ask remained glued to my tongue. Did he really trust me to do that?
He just grinned, as though he understood the worry behind my question. “I can’t wait to see it. Now get out there and make everyone else excited to see it too.”
I slipped into the car and hit the track. Just like Sandown, when I was on the track, I found myself, but I also didn’t have the passion I once did. It was a job, and I would do it well, but it wasn’t my everything. I’d never imagined there would be anything I wanted more than being on the track, but there was. He was in the pits, feeding instructions through to me over the comms. The other desire was an impossibility, but that didn’t stop me from longing for it.
“Dawson, how’s the car feelin’?”
“Like home.”
Beau ran through a few tests and changes Dad and the techs wanted to run, and then I pushed hard for a few laps to get down a good time. When the practise session was over, Steve asked if he could have a chat in private. After letting Beau know where I’d be, and who I’d be with, I agreed.
“How are you feeling, kiddo?” Steve asked once we’d found our way to Dad’s office.
“Getting better.” Although we’d always been good teammates, and he’d taken an interest in my career since I’d first stepped into a production car, Steve and I hadn’t really ever fallen into deep and meaningful conversations, so it was a little weird starting now that he was about to leave. There wasn’t much more he really needed to know either.
“Are you ready for next year?”
I paused for a moment, trying to gather my thoughts. “I will be. I think.”
“You’ve got a good man there in that Beau of yours, it’s no wonder your dad helped him stay in the country.”
“Thank you. I wouldn’t be where I am now without him.”
“Do you think you would survive on the track without him on the comms?”
“Honestly?” I chewed on my lip as I thought about it. “I don’t know.”
It was a hypothetical question anyway.
“It’s something to think about because whether or not I’m in the car with you for the enduros next year will depend on the answer to that question.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve talked with Dec about my plans for next year, and my preference is a clean retirement.” He rubbed his eyes. “I’ve been doing this for long enough, and with Steph pregnant with our third—”
I tried to pretend I wasn’t affected by the news even though my hand twitched into a fist involuntarily.
“—we feel it’s important that I stay at home. But of course, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for your dad. He’s put so much faith in me and given me so much. If he needs me—if you need me—I’m there.”
“What’s that got to do with Beau not being on the comms?”
“Oh.” His eyes widened.
“Oh, what?”
“Oh, I thought you knew.”
I dipped my brow to show that I didn’t in fact know.
“Beau’s going to be in a production car next year.” He said the words slowly as if waiting for me to flip the table at any moment.
It wasn’t anything I didn’t know. The production car schedule was different to the ProV8s though; they didn’t use the track at the same time. “Yeah, and?”
“And he’ll be the second in your car. Unless you need him on the comms that is.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “So you three have already discussed this? Without even talking to me?”
“Not formally. But I did speak to Beau about his plans, and I spoke to your dad to find out whether he thought he’d need me.”
The enormity of what was ultimately going to be a decision I would have to make in the next twelve months or so sunk in. One word from me would either have Beau in the ProV8 or back in the pits.
“It’s not something you need to decide now, but while you’re out there, why don’t you consider that? You know as well as I do what it’s like to watch from the sidelines, but I think we both know Beau would endure that willingly to make you happy.”
“He’d give me everything,” I confirmed, certain of the truth in every word.
“I know. Anyway, good luck out there this weekend, although I’m sure we’ll chat more before we’re needed out there again.”
“Thanks, Steve.”
He left the office, and I sat in thought as his words played in my mind.
“Pheebs, Beau was looking for you,” Dad said. He was about to leave again when he paused and assessed me. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m good.” I waved my hand to dismiss him even as I remained lost in thought.
I had a lot to think about.
I SAT ON the line with the roar of the engine echoing in my ears. My foot grazed the accelerator, and the snarl that issued surrounded me like music. It drowned out my thoughts for a moment.
“Are ya ready to start?” Beau’s voice sounded in my comms.
“It’s a little late to back out now if I’m not.”
“I’m sure I could send Steve racin’ onto the track if ya need him.”
“Or you could jump in.”
“Heh, I ain’t really dressed for that.”
“Is that something you’ve thought about though?” It probably wasn’t the best time to be thinking about what might happen next year, but it was the only thing stopping me from worrying about the other stresses running through me.
“Can we get through this race before we star
t to worry ’bout that?”
“It’s something you have to think about. Steve spoke to me about your chats.”
“Darlin’?”
“Yeah?”
“Focus on what ya need to do. You’re startin’ in fifth. If ya don’t get away clean, it’ll—”
I rolled my eyes. “Beau?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re starting to sound like Dad. I know the risks. I know the tangle. It might be my first time taking this car off the line at the start of a race, but it’s not my first race.”
“Yes, darlin’. Ya should probably pay attention now then.”
“Yeah, yeah. Just . . . stay close to the comms, won’t you?”
“Always.”
Closing my eyes, and taking a breath, I brushed my foot across the accelerator again. With the roar of the engine in my ears filling me with peace and determination, I psyched myself up for the take-off.
When the warning sounded, I flexed my fingers around the wheel and ran through the first steps in my mind. Getting away clean, especially from the third row of the grid, wasn’t going to be easy.
The first risk was stalling the car. The engines were so finely tuned that the wrong balance between the elements could easily leave a driver stranded on the starting line.
Once I got off the line, the next danger came with corner one—notorious for claiming victims on the first lap. The further back someone was on the grid, the worse it became. I had four cars in front of me, one to my side, and around twenty that would all be up my arse in an instant of the launch. The press of so many vehicles all trying to take one corner within seconds of each other could result in an early end to the race if I didn’t keep my wits about me.
With the risks and how I planned to manage them running through my head, I watched as the green flag lifted.
I jumped from the line.
Both hands stayed firmly on the wheel as the hundreds of horsepower in the engine launched me forward. Then my fingers found the gears and I turned myself over to the motions. They were as familiar to me as breathing, and by the time I hit Mountain Straight, I was in the zone.
Phantom (Phoebe Reede: The Untold Story #5) Page 6
