“I think I do.” He bumped his hip into her. Thigh to thigh and against the arm of the couch, she had no retreat. “One kiss. That’s all. If I’m wrong, I leave. But if I’m right, you get to tear my clothes off and make love with me right here on the couch.”
Encounter.
Harley ignored his mind and focused on her. He couldn’t resist tossing that dare into the mix. Anger wasn’t the only vibe pouring off this lovely lady. His male instincts weren’t confused. They’d zeroed in on her desire the moment she’d acquiesced and sat her pretty backside down. A woman with murder on her mind would not have done that.
Encouragement.
Judy ran the tip of her tongue over her bottom lip, her eyes on his. Baiting him like he was baiting her, another positive sign. When she didn’t say no, he closed the distance. Tired as he as, he wasn’t dead.
Exhume.
A statue could not have moved less. The closer he got, the more rigid she became until... Until... He leaned forward and grazed her lips with his. Her breath hitched, another definite plus. She closed her eyes, a good enough yes for him.
He closed his and pressed a chaste kiss onto the tender flesh that melted like the sweetest honey with a hint of jasmine He savored the sensation of her mouth to his, letting it fill his senses. Their breaths mingled and he wanted more. Tongue. Nipples. All.
The Mortimer train was on the track and rolling. E words or not, this was right and good. The Army calls it muscle training when a troop does something so many times he could do it in his sleep. His heart definitely knew its way around this woman. He trusted that muscle right now.
Smoothing one hand up her arm from her elbow to her shoulder, he aimed for the back of her neck with the other, not relinquishing the taste of her, just pushing her off balance enough to upset her marble countenance. The statue thing she had going relaxed with a soft sigh. Marble turned to warm flesh and blood. He cupped the back of her skull, holding her in place as he deepened the contact, asking for more and willing to take all she’d allow.
Please let me remember something. Anything. Don’t let me lose this woman.
Ah, she smelled good. He inhaled deeply. All the stress he’d been carrying melted away.
“Judy.” He poured the last of his heart and soul into her name. If she’d only reach for him, pull him closer, give him just one sign he wasn’t the loser he felt like.
I love you. I know I do.
“Harley,” she whispered between lips and tongues. A slender hand touched his chest, not pushing him away, just planted there like it might want to do more. Any minute now. Did he dare press forward? Was he that kind of brave? Hell, yeah.
The snaps to her bra went next. Muscle memory served him right again. Even through the fabric of her shirt, the three snaps succumbed easily. A moan thrummed up from deep inside of her, and he took that for permission to proceed.
Besides, any minute now it was all going to come back to him. He knew it, so he kept on going, his hand fumbling the hem of her shirt, pulling it up and out of his way. With those tantalizing breasts warm against his chest, the mission was clear.
Remember, damn it. Find a way. Love this woman. Today. Tonight. Always.
Her hand moved from his chest to his wrist, stopping his mission dead in its tracks. He pulled back, just enough to read her intentions, and, of course, to take in the extra soft jiggle beneath her shirt. Those luscious breasts were unleashed, and his heart did a triple somersault, banging so hard against his ribs she had to be able to hear it. Tender nipples waited to be teased to perfection if she’d let him. He could make her real happy. He knew it. With all his soul, he wanted to do nothing but please her.
“Who am I?” she asked, her eyes hazy and warm. Judy leaned in for another kiss, tugging his lower lip in a gentle nibble.
“Judy O’Brien, the woman of my dreams.”
She smiled against his mouth, believing him. He hoped.
“You’re wearing my ring,” he told her the obvious, sure his brain would help him out any second now. Until that last news flash, it had grown oddly quiet in the E department.
“Where were we when you gave it to me?”
Oh, hell. A test. Her mouth was still fully engaged with his, savoring him as much as he was her. He kept kissing, deepening the contact and stalling for time. Where had he given her the ring? A big dead zone answered, offering absolutely nothing but empty space in his brain. A raft of really good lies bubbled up. Right here in their apartment? On that beach in the picture? Candlelight dinner? A groan escaped from his gut, but it was not a sound of passion. More like the agony of defeat.
Another tangle of tongues and the gentle hand on his wrist turned into a rigid stop sign. She pulled back. Pointy green microscopes scanned his eyes looking for someone to be home.
Sorry. The lights are on, but....
“You don’t know, do you?” Her voice lingered all deep and breathy against his lips. Yeah, she was turned on. Good deal. But still sad.
“No.” He could not lie. “I’m sorry. I’m trying, but I don’t.”
Sadness shadowed her face, but instead of being angry, she pulled him to his feet with her. After tucking her shirt in place, she headed to the hall still gripping his hand. Was she going to take him to bed with her in the middle of the day? Well alrighty then.
The less than honorable thought had barely flitted through his mind when other women’s faces in other times and darker nights shuddered over him with a chill. Sleazy women. Skanky women. Not ladies. Surely not Judy.
He balked, suddenly not so sure of himself. A sickly sensation pitched in the bottom of his stomach. There was a time he’d sought women like them out. They were good enough for the mess of a man he was—then. The image of a guy lying against garbage cans in a dirty ally materialized next. It was raining. The man looked half-dead. Gray. Strung out.
Zack’s words came back. ‘You don’t do drugs.’
But I did and—that guy is—me.
He shook the ugly images off. What the hell was he thinking?
Holding fast to Judy’s hand, he gulped the nauseous realization down. He’d thought this game of cat and mouse would lead he and Judy to bed, but more, he’d hoped to find the place called home again. Everything in his soul told him it was with this elegant, sexy woman. It had to be her. They seemed to fit together. Only his brain seemed unconvinced, steadily tsk, tsk, tsking at every thought and hope, filling him with doubt.
The air in this apartment seemed suddenly stale and not enough. He squeezed her fingers half-afraid she’d evaporate like everything else good and decent in his life. One truth had finally fallen into place.
She’s too good for me.
Twenty-Nine
Harley could be such a dumb ass. Did he really think she was taking him to bed when he didn’t have a clue who she was? Oh no. Judy had other plans. The only way he was getting into their bedroom again was to remember. And he would.
With her hands on his shoulders, she stopped him dead in his tracks at the entry to the hall. For her plan to work, they had to take this trip back in time together. She meant to hold off until he was healthier, but since he’d shown up unannounced, why not?
Judy forced all the charm she could muster to her face, eyes and voice. “Are you Harley Mortimer?”
“Umm, well yeah, hi.” His brows furrowed. Fatigue stalked his usually bright eyes, turning them dull. She nearly changed her mind. The flirting tease she’d seen for a moment in the living room looked more like the living dead right now. Something was happening inside that poor man’s mind. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea.
Determined to try, she reached into the entertainment center anyway, tapped a couple switches and let the quiet music fill the room. The lights dimmed in sync with the volume of the music. Placing one palm in his, she lifted it. Her other hand settled on his shoulder which put her breasts in proximity to his chest.
As predictably as the sun rising in the east, he looked down at her cleavage. She knew her
man. Full breasts and long hair distracted Harley in a snap. Putting all of her feminine wiles into play, she counted on his inherent weakness as a red-blooded male to get him where she needed him to go. All he had to do was remember one tiny detail from their past, and everything else would fall into place. It had to.
“I hate to be forward, but would you care to dance?”
“Who? Me?” He chewed on the right side of his bottom lip. “Umm, I don’t think I usually dance until I’ve had a few drinks, but, umm, Zack... He tells me I don’t drink anymore, and....”
Half of her wanted to laugh, the rest wanted to cry. She knew the body language, the way he rolled his shoulder like his neck hurt. Because it did. Tension had to be tweaking his back and neck muscles all the way to the top of his scalp. When a hint of sadness shadowed his eyes, her hand tightened. He looked so damn handsome and still lost, as if he might pull away.
Judy gulped. Was she torturing or helping? She didn’t know anymore. Searching her mind for all the words she’d said the day they’d first met at Mark and Libby’s wedding, she whispered, “I promise I won’t step on your feet.”
“Please?” Judy’s voice quavered and, oh, why not? It’s not like she’d asked him to boogie or do the twist. One spin around the living room couldn’t hurt.
“Sure.” Harley’s heart thudded in his chest. Everything he’d wanted to do with her before seemed shallow now.
The dance began slowly. For some reason, he expected she’d lead, but she didn’t. He took a step to the side, and she followed. Then another. She moved in under his chin, resting her ear over his noisy heart like she wanted to be there. A wave of protectiveness filled him when her body melted into his. The fragrance of jasmine filled his nose. A sensation of floating lifted his feet. She was shaking now too.
“I think you’ve done this before.”
“Me too,” he admitted, his mind on the verge of… something. He reached for the small of her back and pressed her tight. Judy had a way of making him feel like he could do anything. Two steps backwards, one to the left, maybe with her in his arms, he could finally remember. He closed his eyes and wished with all his heart it were so.
A half step forward and—the room spun. For just a split second, rainbow shards of light from a disco ball he knew did not exist in her living room fell over a gorgeous redhead in a white sleeveless gown. Her green eyes shone with a light so rare. Glitters sprinkled over the tuxedo he did not realize he was wearing. Over Mark and Libby’s wedding dance. Over....
“Eau Claire,” his dumb mouth said.
“That’s right.” Her fingers tightened at the back of his neck. “Tell me more.”
He swallowed hard. The illusion vanished. Eau Claire was all there was left. It wasn’t even a proper E word, not pronounced O like it was. His brain had just pushed him into the line of fire without a gun in his hand, but it had to mean something. Memories were stirring.
“Maybe this will help.” Taking a step into him, Judy pushed him gently against the wall, one leg between his and one hand on his chest. Her eyes filled with seduction even an idiot couldn’t miss. Her hand slid up the back of his head, her fingers long and tender on his scalp, carefully not touching the goose egg and stitches. The softest breasts pressed against his chest, and damn, he could not think.
“Harley Mortimer,” she whispered all breathy and low. “I want to come home with you. I’m tired of never seeing you.”
He nodded, trying with all of his heart to make sense of what she was telling him with her mouth instead of her body. His hands sank to her hips again, his thumbs caressing the crease where her thighs joined with her body.
Don’t let me disappoint her. Help me out. Please.
This was that word-on-the-tip-of-his-tongue moment, and it better not start with an E. Burgeoning memories pushed him toward... something. He was so close, standing with his toes over the edge and not able to take that final step. Not able to let go and fall.
But nothing, absolutely nothing came to him when he needed it most. Very tenderly, he eased Judy back a step. Unfulfilled expectations glimmered in her sad eyes. He saw it there, a promise and a trap he could no longer avoid.
“Don’t do this,” she groaned. “Don’t go.”
The futility of trying so hard felt a lot like deceit. She was doing it too. They were both lying to each other and hoping this game turned into reality. A gentleman did not treat a good woman like this.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, his eyes to the carpet and his heart down there with it. Anxiety began its relentless shoulder tapping, reminding him he didn’t belong. Not yet. Maybe never again. His throat went dry. Palpitations resumed their steady beat in a heart that had just seconds ago been trying so hard to fall back into love.
He looked toward the door. Where the hell is Zack? “I should go.”
When she released his hand, he knew he was the world’s biggest ass for leading her on.
“Harley.” Her voice cracked. “We can work this out.”
He pulled away. Nothing he did was right. Liquid courage might have helped loosen his tongue, but it could not restore his memory. Whatever was going on, he needed space and time to think. Staying would only hurt Judy, and he had a feeling he’d done enough of that already.
“Please,” she whispered from the hall where he’d left her.
By then, his hand was on the door and his head pounding. “I’ll be in touch,” he said, relief seconds away, but he knew better. There was no reason to come back if he didn’t belong.
He closed the door and stood there, the knob still in his hand. How does a fool begin to pick up the pieces of a life he cannot recall? How does he put a woman through that kind of hell? Just fumble along until one day his brain kicked in and gave him his life back? How fair was that to her? Of all the words for his damned brain to come up with, it sabotaged him now.
The. End.
Harley pressed his forehead to the wooden barrier between him and the woman he was pretty sure he loved. “Judy,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”
Silence echoed in the empty apartment. Harley’s apartment. Only he was gone, not willing to try anymore. The stark realization in his eyes crushed her. Judy sank to the floor, her hard head in the palms of her hands. Angry sobs wrenched out of her in painful hiccups. This was her fault. She’d pushed too hard. Too fast. And why? Did she think she was so smart now? Did she always have to be right?
Loss hollowed out the thing that used to be her heart. Like a melon-baller gone wild, it sliced and diced, peeled and carved everything inside of her until drawing a breath hurt. She choked, angry for not knowing the secret to unlocking his mind.
Logic screamed back at her. She should have driven him to the hospital. She should have left his recovery in the hands of professional counselors. She should have known better.
Her throat felt ready to vomit her heart out on the carpet if only it would stop the pain. A whine eked out of her. “He’s gone...”
The kitchen phone rang. Hope flared. It was possible. It could be him. Maybe he was standing in the hall and ready to try again. Maybe he was as sad as she was. Maybe—
“Hello?” she asked timidly as she brushed the tears off her cheek.
“Judy. Judy. Judy.” It was that same irritating prankster. “It’s now or—”
“Leave. Me. Alone!” She slammed the phone into the wall, picked it up and slammed it three more times out of sheer frustration. “I just want Harley, Harley, Harley!”
Zack looked surprised when he found out he got to pay the cabbie. “Why are you here? You were supposed to spend a little time with Judy.”
“Sorry,” Harley mumbled apologetically at the curb. He seemed to be saying that a lot lately.
Extinguish.
The dictionary in his head just would not let up.
Zack didn’t pry, the good thing about a man who knows when to mind his business. He and his wife had just settled down for an early dinner with their daughters. Mei bounced out of her c
hair the moment she laid eyes on Harley. Between her hug and the excited squeals of Zack’s two little girls, LiLi and Song, Harley almost felt decent, but not hungry. Mei insisted he join them at the table, but the warm sensation of being in Judy’s arms lingered. It had felt right. Why wasn’t it—
Enough?
He cussed to himself. Damned E words. Let me be.
“Uncle Harley. Are you sad?” LiLi asked, vermicelli rice noodles dripping off her lip from the chopsticks in her hand.
“Nah, darlin’.” Harley reassured her. “Just need some place to stay for awhile.”
“You know you’re always welcome here,” Mei said as she placed a small portion of noodles in Baby Song’s bowl. The little tyke was into feeding herself by hand. It made for a mess, but the adorable two-year old seemed to enjoy it. Song was all smiles and noodles.
“Don’t talk with your mouth full, LiLi,” Mei reminded her oldest daughter.
LiLi slurped until the soggy strings were tucked inside of her mouth. “You can sleep in my bed if you want. I’ll sleep with Song.”
“He’ll be fine in the guest room,” Zack interrupted. “Don’t you have homework?”
“Already did it, Daddy,” LiLi answered, another chopstick full of noodles headed to her lips. “It was easy. Just multiplication. I’m on my eights. Teacher says I’m ahead of all the other kids, so I get to go on a field trip to see George Washington’s old house. Can you come with me?”
Harley played with his plate of Vietnamese food, half listening to the gentle family conversation floating around him. He’d been over to Zack’s enough in the past to know Mei’s good cooking. Funny. He remembered things as simple as rice noodles, pho, and marinated shrimp. Why not Judy?
After a hot morning shower, Judy wound her hair on the top of her head, stabbed it with a large comb and dressed for another day. Zack had called her to let her know where Harley was. He might not be where he belonged, but he would be. She just needed a little help from another alpha male. She dialed his number.
Harley (In the Company of Snipers Book 4) Page 25
