“No,” she said, with an amused smile playing at her lips.
I shrugged, having seen all I needed to see. “Well, it was worth a shot, I guess.”
She returned the gesture before she answered in a strangely humored voice, with no inclination that I had actually figured her out. “Sure, I guess, if you say so.”
“Ashley,” I answered carefully, with a prideful smile shimmering behind my saddened eyes, “believe me when I tell you that it is always worth a shot.”
Chapter Seventeen
Ashley
I wasn’t really sure what I was supposed to be doing. There was a lot going on and I felt as though I was caught in the middle of it. After his cryptic message, Tyler had left the room and closed the door behind him.
Although I knew that I shouldn’t be, part of me was intrigued by what he was saying.
Still, instead of trying to have a conversation with him, I decided that it would be better to just sit in down and focus on other things, besides the curiosity that the meathead had piqued.
However, no matter how hard I tried, I knew that it wasn’t just my curiosity that had risen through the comments that he made. He had also, probably unwillingly, hit a nerve. For as much as I hated to admit it, there was a time where he was right. That time had long since passed now, but there was a good portion of my life where I always wanted to see the best in people. I would be the one to give the underdog a chance and try to find decency where others could not.
Growing up, this caused me to get hurt a lot, but I was never dissuaded. My mother and I were a lot alike in that regard, which was probably why she stayed with my father for as long as she did. It never really worked out for her either, but it was still an ideal that I held close to my heart. It was something that I admired about my mother and tried to emulate in my everyday life.
Yet, once my mother died and my life took a spiraling turn for the worst, that part of me was finally beaten down until it was just a shadow of my former self.
Much like many of my other more desirable traits, they lessened significantly or failed completely when my mother passed away and I was unable to get them back; that is, until I went to college.
Until then, I felt as though I was living in a storming, tremulous cloud. I was insecure and afraid. My life as I knew it was failing me and all I could do was sit back and watch as it was destroyed.
I no longer had my mother and my father seemed to steadily coil toward insanity. He claimed that I was all he had, but the feeling was not mutual. Soon after my mother died, my father became so distant that I honestly began to believe I had lost him as well.
Guilt ate him alive and the more I stayed in this house, the more I realized that it wasn’t so much that he was spineless, in the traditional sense. I began to believe that he was just trying to please his new family so much that he completely forgot about the family that he had left from my mother.
I knew that deep down, my father loved me. That wasn’t really the issue that I was having. Rather, it was the fact that the manner of love was not the same. He didn’t care about me anymore. He was too busy trying to relive his life and get it right, that he didn’t bother to fix what was still broken.
However, that wasn’t my stepmother’s fault, or even, as much as I would like to blame him for everything wrong in the world, I couldn’t even in good conscious blame Tyler.
I noticed this not long after my mother died and although his oddity and singularity had changed in form, it still manifested in a way that made me feel the same.
I hadn’t just lost my mother that day. I might not have known it, but I had also lost my father too, and that was what changed me.
After trying to find not only the best in my father, but also the man that I remembered when he was around, to absolutely no avail, I began to grow bitter. Every time my father hurt me, I stopped caring just a little more and now, seeing him with his new family, completely disregarding me because I didn’t want to completely accept them as flesh and blood like my father had, had snuffed out the light of forgiveness for good.
When I realized this, I became increasingly angry. I couldn’t help but feel the sense of aggravation and hardship that attached itself to me. I not only hated that Tyler was right, I also hated that I had completely given up my otherwise unwavering compassion. It was just too painful to always look for the good.
Even if I found it, the pain I had endured to fight through all of the darkness inside the person had inevitably left a stain on my heart and I knew that I just couldn’t take it anymore.
So, once he left, I got up, after a moment to ensure that he was gone, locked the door, went back to my bed, lay down and went to sleep, hoping that when I woke up, I would be back in my dorm room and this would all be a bad dream.
Unfortunately, I awoke the next morning in basically the same position which I had fallen asleep the day before.
As soon as I opened my eyes, I felt a pain in my head and aching muscles from the way I was sleeping. I didn’t feel hungover anymore, but I certainly didn’t feel that good.
I was unbelievably thirsty and could not help but notice that a good portion of my pain was coming from the fact that I was starving.
After all, I hadn’t eaten or drank anything the day before. I was probably very dehydrated as well and in the summer heat, that was basically the last thing that I wanted to be.
So I was forced to get up and go downstairs, just as my stepmother was serving breakfast to everyone.
Oh joy, I thought as my eyelids drooped into an unhappy expression.
“There you are, Ashley,” my father said, smiling at me. It was strange, because this was literally the first thing he had said to me in a week. Maybe he forgot to take his medication and momentarily forgot that I was the cause of all his troubles. I thought to myself sardonically, but what I said was, “Good morning, Dad.” I then looked over at Theresa and said good morning to her as well, before turning my attention to Tyler and nodding my head.
I still didn’t care to say very much to him and with the mood that I was in, I dared anyone to ask me why.
However, my foul mood was curbed for the moment by the smell of food. I made my way over to the table and sat down, trying not to think about everything that this room and this table represented to me.
I smiled at everyone before I grabbed the coffee and a plate. Through my hunger, I was blinded. All I saw was bacon, eggs and toast and I didn’t stop seeing it until I had almost finished my second helping.
“Wow, Ashley,” my father commented, “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you hadn’t eaten in a day…”
At his particular choice of words, I tried not to laugh. Joke’s on you, Dad, I thought, you don’t know better. You don’t care to know better…bacon!
Even though I tried, it was hard to be angry or hateful when your body just continued to demand food.
“It’s delicious,” I told Theresa after my third helping. “Thank you.”
Theresa smiled at me in a caring way, even though I seriously doubted that she meant it, before she answered, “I aim to please. Are you alright, though?”
“Yes, I’m fine,” I said, more as a knee-jerk reaction than with any degree of honesty.
“That’s great!” my father exclaimed, before he said, “Because today, we are going to go on a family outing!”
Instantly and probably graciously, I lost my appetite and I could tell from the look that Tyler shot me from across the table that he felt similarly about the idea.
At least the two of us can agree on something… I thought, even though I really had wished it wasn’t that.
Besides the look we shared with one another, no one else spoke again for a long time. No one asked where we were going, or showed any interest at all. The reaction around the table was strange. Even my father and stepmother kept eating. I glanced between one and then the other, trying to figure out what was going on, but eventually, as the reverberation of my father’s words fell away, I
wondered if I had just imagined he had spoken.
With this thought, the air grew strangely eerie.
This house is like living in the Twilight Zone, I thought to myself before I shrugged it off and continued to eat my meal, happy that I wasn’t pressed to comment.
Chapter Eighteen
Tyler
No one said anything for a long time. I guess my mother and stepfather thought that we would just leap up and down with glee at the idea of spending time together, but I was sure that wasn’t going to fucking happen.
Even though they waited patiently and ate their breakfast casually, still grinning broadly as though they had gotten the exact level of excitement they expected from us, no one said another word for a long time.
At first, the silence was weird, but eventually the strain fizzled out and we continued our meal.
Then, after a little while of acting completely normal, I heard Ashley’s father speak up, trying to revive the suggestion that now seemed dead in the water.
“Doesn’t anyone want to know where we are going?” he asked, looking around the table, between Ashley and I, who basically ignored everything that was going on. That didn’t seem to matter though, since he continued without missing a beat, “We’re going to the amusement park.”
Of course, my mother looked like he had just announced that he won the fucking lottery, always the dutiful wife, but Ashley and I seemed to have our own parallel thoughts on the subject.
I sighed and tried to get out of it by saying. “That sounds like fun, but can we take a raincheck? I’ve got to be at the gym in an hour. It’s a big day for me.”
“No,” my mother said suddenly, “you’re not going anywhere…but with us.”
I rolled my eyes. Did you guys stop screwing each other long enough to realize that you had children or something? I thought and groaned.
“A raincheck?” Ashley’s father picked up, almost immediately after my mother had shot me down. “We have been here for a month already and we haven’t done anything together as a family except a few meals here and there.”
“Maybe you would have a better concept of time if you came out of the damn bedroom every once and a while.”
At that, I felt my mother kick me hard under the table, while I heard Ashley try to muffle a laugh.
To my surprise though, my stepfather didn’t get angry. Instead, he amended, “You know what, Tyler, you’re right. Your mother and I have spent a lot of alone time with one another. We are still in the honeymoon phase, though, and it is completely normal, but I do understand. It isn’t fair that we have been neglecting you two and it is time for that to change. So, that is why today, we wanted to get everyone together and spend the day as a family.”
I shrugged, realizing that I didn’t have much choice in the matter as my eyes raised to Ashley.
It was then that I realized this might not be such a bad thing. To be fair, it was a longshot, but then again, stranger things have happened. This could be just the forced quality time that I needed with Ashley to get back in her good graces, which would rocket me back on track.
It was perfect. I had to spend time with her and more importantly, she had to spend time with me. And since we were going to be with our parents, I had to behave or risk everything going to hell.
With this all tumbling around inside my mind, I smiled at the thought and she scowled at me, before returning her attention to her father, “When are we leaving?”
“As soon as everyone is ready. Just get dressed and meet us by the car!”
In response, Ashley nodded and made her way up the stairs toward her room.
Since I was done with my breakfast and was only hanging around because I had to, I followed at a close distance behind her and disappeared into my own room before she could say anything about me being behind her.
As I changed my shirt, I looked in the mirror and checked out my biceps. Your body is truly a piece of fucking art… I thought to myself as I contemplated my moves for the day. I knew that I needed to do something that would win her attention back to me, but I had no idea what that could be.
Even though I thought I had found that sweet spot, I had learned with dismay that I was wrong. The other night had really kicked me down a few pegs and I was seriously in need of a new play.
So, after ensuring that my body was still the temple that I treated it as, I focused my attention on trying to look good, both inside and out, for Ashley.
The other night, despite my drunken thoughts, there was nothing that had discouraged me. In fact, it had only upped the reward to such a challenge.
I knew that I needed to figure out what I was going to do and I needed to figure it out fast. After all, it wasn’t every day I was handed such a gift and I had every intention of taking full advantage of it.
I’m not going to let this shit go to waste. I pulled my shirt over my head and searched around my messy room for my shoes.
I wasn’t lying when I had told Ashley’s father that I had a date with the gym today, but once I realized what an opportunity I was given, the gym, at least for the immediate moment, didn’t matter. I could do my work-out any time; now was the time to go after what I really wanted.
When I was finished getting dressed, I made my way downstairs, just as I heard the car horn blast.
I quickened my step in order to get the good seat in the car. I knew from the way up to the beach house that my stepfather liked to pack heavy on one side and therefore, I wanted to get into the car so that I could get the good side. I wasn’t quite sure how long the ride was going to be, but I was sure that I didn’t want a seat that was forced forward just enough to be annoying, so I made sure I staked my claim.
Then, when Ashley came out, I locked eyes with her and I could see the disappointment of getting the raw end of her father’s packing welling up in her eyes. She glared at me and her shoulders fell. I carefully smiled at her, made a motion as though offering up my seat and then nodded in a caring way before sliding over.
She simply glared at me as she approached, but when she got into the car, she smiled slightly and said a quiet, “Thanks,” which was plenty of encouragement for me.
I beamed at her with a dangerously debonair expression before I leaned my head back as much as I could, given the forward pointing seat. It wasn’t comfortable, but it was glorious. I couldn’t have asked for a better prospect.
Even though we didn’t speak much on the short drive to the amusement park, mostly because our entire family had literally nothing in common, I was happy to see that I had made some headway already in the pussy pursuit that I refused to give up on.
At this rate, I was sure by the end of the day, I would have her eating out of the palm of my hand and begging to go down on my dick just as soon as we were out of parental sight.
I smiled, thinking about all of the interesting places we could probably fuck and get away with it in an amusement park.
Still, I reminded myself that today was not about having sex. Rather, it was about gaining her trust.
Unless circumstances changed dramatically, i.e., she got hit in the head, had amnesia and forgot all of the shit that I did to her up until this point in our relationship, I would not be pressing for sex in any way.
Today was about proving to her that she could still have fun with me without fearing that she was going to get into trouble. That was basically the entirety of my goals and come hell or high water, whatever the hell that means, I was going to stick to that plan, knowing it was virtually the only way to reach my ultimate goal; and I was not going to rest until I had taken ahold of that goal and suffocated the life out of it with my bare hands…and other extremities, of course.
Chapter Nineteen
Ashley
Throughout the ride to the amusement park, there was a looming sense of faked emotions and an underlying sense of aggravation.
The car ride was slow and almost painful. I hadn’t been in the car with my father in years and this was not exactly the sit
uation I was looking forward to, especially in light of his current attitude. There was nothing that I wouldn’t do to get him to just turn the car around and take me back to the beach house.
I would love to have a day where the family, where his family, left me home to enjoy the solitude and pretend my life wasn’t falling apart around me. But of course, my father wanted to include me and like an idiot, I had gone along with it.
Why is it that the second he is nice to you again, even a little, you crumble into a million pieces and everything is forgiven? I asked myself as I crossed my arms and tried to ignore virtually everyone that was in the car with me.
Granted, it wasn’t all that difficult, seeing as how no one spoke, except for Theresa trying to keep the peace and asking us questions every once and a while.
Those questions usually remained unanswered, or just returned with one-word responses, but this was the life she chose. She had a son who was one of the most awful people I had ever had the displeasure to meet and married a man who was certifiable.
I had to admit that his daughter wasn’t much better, but I certainly wasn’t as bad as my father or as evil and conniving as Tyler; at least not yet and therefore, I did feel slightly bad for her.
Even though I wasn’t with her all that much, whenever I was, I couldn’t help but notice that the world seemed to almost forget her. Everyone did their own thing, even my father, and although she tried, she was always cut out or just stuck in the middle.
Perhaps not to the extreme that Theresa seemed to find herself in, but I felt badly for her because in a way, I knew that I could relate to her. When my parents would fight, I would always try to be the peacekeeper and it while it never worked, I always ended up feeling worse than they did. But that didn’t mean that I was willing to accept her as anything more than my father’s child-wife, along with her lunatic son.
Dirty Stepbrother - A Firefighter Romance (The Maxwell Family) Page 93
