by M Helbig
“Who’s dead,” I said. “And it sounded like it’ll be some time before they elect a new one, so we’re not likely to find a replacement any time soon. We need to find someone else. Where else can we go to find some quests to help the town?”
“The tavern!” everyone said at once.
“Ohhh, that’s not going to work for us,” Olaf said. “What other places are there here?”
“Well, there’s Fistbeard,” Yary said. “And he seems to like me.”
Alizia winked at her. “Of course he does. Everyone likes you the minute they meet you . . . Why doesn’t everyone like me? Is it my strong personality? Do I come off as intimidating?”
“Yeah, that’s it,” I deadpanned. “You intimidate everyone with your ‘personality.’ Now come on.”
It took us another hour to find his house in the sea of identical buildings, largely because we had to spend extra time avoiding the vicinity of the inn. Eventually, we found it when Fistbeard happened to open his door.
Fistbeard saw us approaching and scowled deeply until his eyes found Yary. I told the group to halt and had Yary approach him alone.
The dwarf’s thick beard spread to form a grin. “What’s it ye need, me fellow fist?”
Yary returned his smile. “I was wondering if you knew of any more quests I could do for the town to raise my faction so I could borrow that key?”
Fistbeard massaged the end of his beard. “Hmm, the mayor— right. Well, Lager—right. I do need . . . but that wouldn’t help with the town faction, so hmm. Ye can always just kill them hylves to the north of that village. They give Grimrag faction for every kill. There also be the constructs.”
“Are the constructs any easier?” I asked as I moved forward.
Alizia nearly knocked me over in her sudden interest. “And do they drop potions or alcohol as loot?”
“Nay,” Fistbeard said. “They be old, walking statues, and as such, have no need for eatin’ or drinkin’ like us mortals. They’re the remnants of the army of the old conqueror Gerinashu the Beige. Many in our town used to follow him back in the day, but those ones had a fallin’ out with them constructs after he died, and the constructs murdered the lot of ‘em. The constructs were feared for their brutality on three continents, so they not be easy in the slightest—course I be imaginin’ they be in pretty bad shape after all them centuries with no one to fix ‘em. Ye see them dwarves they killed were the only ones who knew how to build or repair ’em.”
A loud dwarven voice drew our attention from behind. “If ye need some Grimrag faction, I can help with that.”
The group turned to find Lagereyes, with Tinkerbeard wincing behind her. A door slammed behind us and Fistbeard was gone.
“Fantastic,” Alizia said. “It’s good to know that some people know when to let bygones be bygones—unlike some people in this group.” She glared unconvincingly at Olaf and me.
“Aye,” Lagereyes said. “Me grief overcame me a bit last night, but after a good night’s sleep, I woke up with a much clearer head and realized the error of me ways.”
Alizia sighed. “Good to know there’s NPCs in this crazy world who’re kind, rational, and forgiving.”
The irony in that statement, since Alizia was an NPC herself, made me snicker. Olaf laughed too.
“Nay, I don’t have a quest for ye, but me new husband does have something better. New husband?” She turned to Tinkerbeard.
You have received -2,000 Faction with the Town of Grimrag. -1,920 Town of Grimrag (Hated).
Tinkerbeard’s face creased like he was fighting back a need to apologize.
“Ye see, a smart woman knows that even though the system be set up to screw her, there’s nothin’ she can do about it in the short term, so she finds a way to work around it. Ole Tinkerbeard here always had his eyes on me, so I marched up to his door as soon as I woke and proposed to him. We were married half an hour later. He’s the most prominent dwarf left besides Fistbeard—and that one was easy enough to buy off with some of me booze. With no one to oppose him, me new husband just got elected the new mayor of our wonderful burg o’ Grimrag in record time.”
“Negative two thousand!” Olaf said. “Now we’ll never get that key.”
“Aye, plus it should put ye at Hated with our fine town,” Lagereyes said. “Bein’ a good sport, me husband has told the guards to let ye leave, but if ye come back they’ll kill ye on sight.”
“What a witch!” Alizia said. I wasn’t sure if she meant to say that in group chat or not, but knowing her, she probably meant to say it out loud.
Lagereyes’s smile grew larger as she shooed us arrogantly toward the gate. I looked to the group for some sort of answer to this predicament but everyone was just as shocked and clueless as me.
We made our way to the gate as seemingly every dwarf in town lined the path, all giving us the same disapproving glower as we passed. I was fully expecting rotten fruit to be thrown at us, or booing, but the eerie silence was much worse. The only sound we heard was the creaky wooden gate slamming shut behind us.
Overseer? They Should Call Her the Underseer
“Now what?” Alizia glared at the gate like it had betrayed her. “Without quests, this’ll take us weeks, maybe months of boring grinding to reach the level we need to get that key. Clewd’ll probably be gone by that time anyway.”
“Regardless, I must do it,” Olaf said. “With or without you.”
“We’re with you, Olaf,” I said. “And if we focus and work at it non-stop, we can finish this a lot faster than you think, Alizia.”
“That’s not saying much,” Alizia grumbled.
“Yary, could you ask Georgius to keep an ear out if Clewd’s whereabouts change?” I asked.
“Sure thing. Sending the message now,” Yary said.
“Great. Now let’s go kill some hylves!” I said.
Olaf and Yary nodded with determination in their eyes and we started moving. Alizia cursed under her breath and followed shortly after. We made our way back to the hylf village in half the time it’d taken before, as our knowledge of the way and our newfound determination guided us.
The first pack of hylves we ran into were no match for us. Despite me ruining my first attempt at Root, we finished the fight with full HPs. The next five packs went down even more easily when Alizia pulled out a gong. She seemed surprised that it stunned them. Though after thirty minutes of excruciating headaches, I took it away from her. It didn’t seem to make much of a difference on the next pack.
We were already up 60 faction, and if we continued at that pace, we’d have it up to Revered well before even my most conservative estimates. I was beginning to think we might even exceed that as we found ourselves just on the outskirts of their village with its promise of a much denser population. Almost immediately, we ran into a pack of three Rovers. Through a swipe of her club, using Shout and her unique blend of banter and annoying, Alizia was able to draw two of them on her. I plucked the loose one off Olaf with my bow after a couple of shots and managed to get Hamstrung on before it got to me.
“You know, we’re getting so good, I think I can do this in my sleep now.” Alizia yawned dramatically.
“We believe you,” Olaf said. “There is no need to prove it.”
“Yes, and there’s also no need to prove anything else to us during combat or out of combat.” I jogged toward the group, hitting my hylf in the knee to reapply Hamstrung. “Yary, focus on the one Alizia’s got, please.”
“Listen to our leader.” Olaf turned to stare at me. “He knows what he is doing.”
I glared at him as I cast another Root.
Yary had drawn aggro on the second one. True, she wasn’t in any true danger as she was still at 81%, but I figured it was best for her to learn now rather than when we were fighting something harder.
“Sorry, I forgot,” Yary said.
“You know, Horus, with a grumpy attitude like that, you’ll never get a girlfriend.” Alizia turned to the one on Yary. “I Sho
ut at you, you dog faced . . . dog bodied? Eh, that was horrible. Maybe I do need a nap.”
Olaf finished off the first one, almost burying his dagger in its kneecap for 109! “We can all see you do not have the Tiredness debuff, Alizia. Now focus. Horus is about to drag his back around, and we need you to Shout at that one as well.”
Alizia rolled her eyes. “I think I know how to Shout at things by now, My Mother the Mustache.” The second hylf leapt at her, but she effortlessly caught it on her shield, activating Shield Slam and leaving it in a stunned pile on the ground. She gave me the “come on” sign with her shield.
I jogged past her, this time purposely hitting the hylf with a regular shot and letting Hamstrung fade. It bared its fangs and let out a feral snarl as it bounded for me at full speed.
“Jeez, poster child for rabies and bad breath.” Alizia pivoted to face it. “I Shout at you!”
The hylf spun in mid-pounce and targeted Alizia. It turned slightly and Alizia’s shield only absorbed part of the blow, but after a few rounds of Yary’s lightning-quick blows to finish off the second one, Alizia had recovered the paltry 27 and was trending upward again. With all of us on it, the last hylf didn’t even survive a full minute.
You have gained a total of 1,320 (1,200 +120 Group Bonus) Experience Points! 96,831/100,000 to next level.
You have received +15 Faction with Town of Grimrag! Total: -1,845 Town of Grimrag (Hated).
Alizia roared in victory. A much louder, deeper roar came in response from a boulder a hundred feet away.
“Show off.” Alizia gave me a quizzical look, which I oddly knew meant she wanted me to check Tracking.
I focused on the hylf name in the Tracking interface I hadn’t seen before. “Hylf Overseer.”
Alizia bounced up and down while clapping. “Goodie. We spawned a Rare.”
“I do not think we spawned it,” Olaf said. “With the way those elves described this village, I believe this is a Dynamic Village, meaning that if you kill the boss—the queen in this case—then no new mobs will spawn.”
“Whatever, new-new-Deccy. As long as I get to kill it and get its fancy loots, I don’t care. Now bring it on!” She banged her shield in the direction of the roar.
As well as our group had been doing, I still let out an impulsive gulp. The mob’s roars grew louder and louder until it finally appeared from around the corner. The Hylf Overseer stomped and thrashed into view, opening its—her, now that I could see her bikini top—mouth to reveal a row of nearly a hundred incisors that probably made every plant for miles quiver in fear. I was sure quite a few insects felt the same way; our group, however, did not. The Overseer towered over a thumb-sized pebble, threatening to heft it over her overly muscled frame and dent Olaf’s smallest toenail with it. Her predatory, canine eyes narrowed on spotting us. She darted in our direction, threats of future teeth indents and light bruising obvious in every hopping step.
Alizia rested her shield on the ground. “All right, who has a shrink ray and didn’t share it with me? Do I . . . Do I even need a weapon to beat her?”
“Keep your shield up,” I said. “Remember the kobolds we fought a few weeks ago? They were only a few feet tall, and they nearly killed us all.”
“Eh. Good call, O Captain my Captain.” She planted her large tower shield into the ground and braced herself for impact.
The fact that she was agreeing with me made me even more nervous. Was she really created just to make the game harder for us? Even if she was, she couldn’t possibly be doing it 100% of the time. I mean, how could her paying attention and being prepared for a fight for probably the first time ever be a bad thing? Was she playing mind games with me just to throw me off my game, which was the very thing she’d been accusing me of—and also fairly accurate? I was missing something, surely, but what was it?
Alizia easily absorbed all of the Overseer’s blows on her shield and danced back from her follow-up attack. “So, no super speed on Thumbelina. Speaking of thumbs, should I start using them now? Wanna make this a fair fight and all.”
My near panic attack subsided as Alizia went into her old groove of trying to do something stupid to sabotage us. “No, use your scepter. You know, give her the old ‘royal blessing.’”
Alizia grinned wickedly. “You remembered! I’m touched, but not as touched as this thing’s going to be. You may be ant sized, but I’m the only queen here.” Her scepter crashed directly on top of the miniscule hylf, showering dirt everywhere. The 59! was the biggest number I’d seen come from Alizia that hadn’t hit some vital spot—though since the scepter was almost as big as her foe, I supposed it had hit multiple vital spots, possibly every one it possessed.
Alizia stared at the spot her scepter had made, shrugged, and swung it again. Considering the manic glee in her eyes, I figured any attempts by me to fire into the spot would be wasted and lowered my bow. Olaf and Yary backed away as well. Alizia let out a hoot as her scepter crashed down again but at the last second it stopped, seeming to levitate over the spot.
I cursed myself for not using Inspect on the Overseer while she was still in view. My neurotic doubting had been right. “So, super strength or telekinesis?”
Alizia’s arm moved left to point the end of her scepter directly at me. “I don’t need super strength to wrap my telephone pole around your neck!”
Telephone pole? The only phones that needed those were in museums. The AI writing her lines was using some really old references. My head throbbed with a sharp pain and the 47 was all I saw next. At least I had the presence of mind to lurch backward and avoid the follow-up. “Alizia, what’re you doing?”
“Alizia . . . home . . . not . . . jealous?” She laughed maniacally and swung again.
I rolled to the side, still catching part of her blow for 35. Had she finally decided that subtle sabotaging wasn’t working and completely dropped the ruse? Perhaps this was still part of her original plan, and she was just taking her crazy pranks too far this time? Or had she just simply snapped from the realization that we had days of mindless grinding ahead of us?
Alizia’s scepter caught in the ground, and she released a shower of dirt as she pulled it out. I used the cover to at least get to my feet, but before I could take my first step, I spasmed forward as a pair of vicious blows rocked my lower back. I was down to 43% and wouldn’t survive much longer.
“Olaf, some help?” I tried to cast a Regrowth while simultaneously spinning around to face my new foe, but the only thing I accomplished was to get hit in the side instead of the front and to make a neat trail of green energy as my spell fizzled.
“Should I keep hitting Alizia’s target?” Yary asked.
“Considering her target is Horus, no.” Olaf failed to stifle his laugh. “But I do not want to speak for our leader.”
“Yes, stop hitting me!”
Yary tried to salute, but accidentally hit me in the chest. “Sorry.”
“Great, now try to stun Alizia with your ‘spell’ while Olaf focuses on the Overseer.”
Yary spun in one fluid motion. Her palm connected low with a snap. Alizia’s knee gave out and she collapsed flat on her face. Her scepter bounced to my left and I kicked it ten feet away. Each attempt by Alizia to rise was met with a vicious strike to bury her deeper in the ground.
This time I managed to complete my Regrowth without interruption. My HPs ticked up even farther than normal with the addition of the small heals from Yary’s attacks. “Good job, but hold back a little. You only need to keep her busy, not kill her. Anyone know why she attacked me?”
“Knows, mpfh,” Alizia said as Yary knocked her down again. “Alizia, mpfh.”
Yary’s next strike was more of a slap than a bone-breaking blow like the previous ones. “No, I thought it was part of one of those maneuvers you guys worked out before I joined. It didn’t make much sense to me, but you’re all so good that I figured she must know what she’s doing.”
“I guess that’s our fault for not telling you,�
� I said. “When this is over, remind Olaf and me to go over them.”
Olaf’s eyes finally narrowed on a spot behind a broken pot and he ran toward it. “Found her!”
The Overseer plucked her head out from behind the pot right as Olaf’s dagger plunged down. The 63! was smaller than I expected, given how vicious the strike looked. But then again, I didn’t see it finally land as Olaf’s dagger blocked it from my view. The follow-up of 50 was even less impressive; with the small size of the Overseer, I had fully expected those, along with Alizia’s earlier strikes, to take out most of her HPs. Unfortunately, I couldn’t see her bar with Olaf in the way. I couldn’t target her with Inspect to get her precise Hit Point numbers either.
“Olaf, could you move a little to the left?” I asked. “If it isn’t too much trouble.”
Olaf spun completely around, revealing a manically happy face. “Olaf, trouble?” He pumped his tiny legs and charged me.
I instantly froze in shock, giving Olaf a wide-open shot at me. The momentum of the fight was tilting completely the other way as Yary missed her next strike too. Alizia rose and roared, barreling into Yary, though miraculously they clipped Olaf when he scampered by. As he spun and landed on the ground, I managed to catch him with my Root spell. He charged me again, but this time I was able to outrun him. One problem taken care of for the time being, two more to go.
Yary shook Alizia off. “Horus, what should I do?”
I cursed as my arrow missed Olaf’s knee to slow him further. “Don’t die. Keep Alizia busy.”
Alizia cracked her knuckles. “Brilliant. Now, what about me?”
I breathed a sigh of relief as my next arrow barely connected with its tiny target and Olaf slowed down again. “Don’t murder your groupmates, directly or indirectly.”
“Kiyaaaa!” I wasn’t sure if Yary’s cry was some sort of special ability or her getting a bit too into her class, but she let loose with a flurry of punches toward Alizia’s midsection.
