by Ava Frost
“I know.” He said. He’s stopped laughing, knowing that she was being honest with him and trying to act like an adult in the situation.
“I’m sorry to have made things awkward. I didn’t want that to happen.”
“I know.”
She nodded and, squinting, looked out at the trees in the distance. “Did you….did you tell my dad?” She asked.
Garret shook his head. “I don’t see any reason why he would need to know. This has nothing to do with him.”
The way he said “this” gave her pause. It seemed almost too serious. What was “this”?
He reached out and placed his hand over hers. Both Karen and Garret looked down at their hands, hers almost completely covered by his. “If nothing else, it was kind of a confidence boost. Imagine an old man like me being interesting to someone like you.” Garret confessed. It was true that he had spent more than a few hours wondering what he had ever done to deserve the love of someone so genuine and beautiful as young Karen.
“You’re not so old.” Karen interjected.
Garret shrugged. “You know what I mean.”
She wanted to ask him what he meant by “someone like you.” She longed to know exactly what he thought of her as, how she looked through his eyes. But she didn’t have time to ask for clarification because at that point they could hear the tell-tale car door slam of her dad getting home from the corner store. Garret snatched his hand away and put distance between them, jumping up towards the grill. Karen thought she saw a flash of guilt in his expression.
From that moment on, something changed between them. Every time Karen caught him looking at her, she was sure she could see fire in his eyes she’d never noticed before. She thrilled every time he glanced at her, or said her name. The simple name, the one she’d grown up secretly loathing, sounded so pure and beautiful in his voice. He seemed to say it with a kind of reverence that made her feel beautiful. It seemed impossible, but Olivia’s advice to hook up with Garret seemed a little bit less absurd now. He never told her that he was uncomfortable, or that she should be ashamed for fantasizing about him, as she had expected. No hint of disgust could be seen in his expression when he looked at her. And she caught him looking at her more than he ever had before, she was sure of it. She tried to rein herself in, telling herself that maybe he just hadn’t had time to tell her how inappropriate and unreciprocated her feelings were. But despite that, she couldn’t do anything about the way her breath became shallow and short every time he “accidentally” brushed against her. Every slight touch was laced with passion.
Garret was in anguish. Any time he was away from Karen he reminded himself how hopeless the situation was. It wasn’t as if he could honestly date her. Christopher would be horrified by even the suggestion. The temptation for a no-strings-attached fuck to get it out of their systems was strong. So strong. After years of short term girlfriends and a few one-off dates who he never really clicked with, the idea of sleeping with Karen, so innocent and yet uninhibited...so...well…young, was enough to have him awkwardly having to adjust himself in his pants at the workplace.
He wanted her. Badly. He felt so alive, so invigorated by the intensity of his desire for her. But the guilt and feeling of unworthiness was heavy. He was obsessed with her, barely a passing moment going by when he was not consumed by either lust or shame. If only she wasn’t his best friend’s daughter. Age was certainly a factor between them, he being a good twenty years older than she, but she was an adult, legally, physically, and mentally. He was a bad friend, yes, but not a criminal.
When she arrived at his office, he bolted out of his chair.
“Karen—”
“I’m sorry. I know you are busy. But I can’t stand it anymore.” She said, bursting into the office and closing the door behind her. She paced a bit, thinking about sitting down, but deciding against it. She came to stand a few feet from him, her defiant chin up in the air, and fire in her eyes. He’d never seen her look more determined or more vulnerable.
“Do you want me or not, Garret?” She said, her eyes narrowing.
“Karen, I—”
“I know. I know it’s wrong. That’s not what I’m asking. I don’t want explanations, just a simple, yes or no answer. Do you want me?”
He stared at her, his lips parted and his brows upturned in a maddening expression of concern. It wasn’t the look she’d been hoping for. She’d been hoping that if she caught him off guard, out of the blue, that his defenses would be lowered enough for him to act on impulse. She could see that impulse in the heat of his glances. She might be young, but she knew enough about men to know that look when she saw it.
“Garret…” She whispered. His silence was devastating her. As stupid as it was, in the past few days, she’d made herself believe that she could finally have him. It was a stupid dream. He wasn’t an impulsive boy, but a grown man who always weighed his actions. He was so sensible. It was breaking her heart.
Garret saw her. She stood so confidently, but he saw the pinkness in her cheeks, and the slight tremor in her legs. She was quaking behind that veneer of aggressiveness. The answer to her question was screaming in his head. Yes. Yes. Yes. God, he wanted her. He wanted her more than anything. But just because he wanted her didn’t mean that he deserved her, or that having her would be reasonable. It could so easily destroy a thirty year friendship.
He was prepared to lie. The denial of his overwhelming desire for this young woman was on his lips when he saw the wetness in her eyes. She must have seen the “no” in his expression before it had come out of his mouth, because a big tear was now rolling along her nose. He rushed to her, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her against him, tucking her head under his chin.
“Don’t cry. For god’s sake, don’t cry.” He said, stroking his fingers through her hair. Fuck, she smelled like sandalwood and roses. Like summer itself. Even as he was in the position of letting her down and trying to comfort her like an uncle, his body betrayed him, reacting in a primal way to the softness and warmth of her body.
She shook her head against his chest, gripping the front of his shirt in her fists. “I love you, Garret.” She mumbled into his chest, then turned her head up to look at him in the eye. “I love you. I know it’s stupid. I know Dad will…I can’t help it. I’ve loved you since I was a dumb little girl and I thought it would go away but when I came back home I...”
“Shh. You shouldn’t tell me these things. You are lonely. You’re in shock from the move. Once things settle down, you’ll meet another guy. Someone your own age. Someone better than me.” He said, wiping her tears away with his fingers. Her skin was so smooth.
“No man will ever understand me or love me better than you.” She could feel the heat of his body through his clothes and she leaned against him. She couldn’t stop herself from reaching up and dragging her fingers along the warm side of his neck and through the slight streak of gray in his hair at the temple. She watched him gulp, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. He looked like he was in shock, standing there, gripping her waist, unmoving. Gathering her courage, she rose up onto her tip toes. Her nose brushed against his, their lips a hair’s breadth apart as she stroked his cheek with the pads of her fingers.
“Garret. Please.”
The words were barely out of her mouth before he tilted his head, the slight movement all that was needed to close the gap between their lips. He kissed her so softly, it was barely a touch. Her heart leaped into her throat and pounded so hard she knew that he must be able to hear it. It seemed impossible, that such a gentle kiss could be so violent. She was euphoric when he pushed his masculine fingers through her hair, goosebumps erupting down her arms. Her fingers were resting on his jaw and she could feel his shift when he gripped her hair tighter and deepened the kiss, leaning her back as he seemed to tower over her. She yielded to him with a thrill that made her shudder as his tongue explored her mouth. Her mind was completely wrapped up in this moment, the voice in her head
silenced to a quiet chant of his name. Garret. Garret. Garret. She was finally, finally, kissing Garret.
She’d been imagining this moment since she was a child. She’d been attracted to Garret since before she had any idea what it really meant to be attracted to a man. He’d been the object of her private, unspoken sexual awakening as a young teen. He’d been the fantasy in the dark of the night. He’d been the benchmark against which she compared every romantic encounter she’d had.
And, to make matters worse, he was living up to every fantasy. He was a damn good kisser. The way he leaned her back, the way he claimed her lips in a way that was dominant but not domineering. This was the kiss of a real man, not a young buck college boy thinking only of how best to get her pants off. Garret kissed her like she was someone important. She let her fingers splay out across his leanly muscled chest, feeling the restraint coiled in his muscles as he attempted to curtail the overwhelming hunger that the meeting of their lips had unleashed in him.
When he pulled away she gasped quietly at the sudden loss. She stared up at him, panting, her lips reddened. A tawny forelock of hair had fallen over his forehead. He looked disheveled, agitated.
“I shouldn’t have—I’m sorry.” He breathed.
She couldn’t bear to stand there and listen to him apologize. It was a lie, she knew it was a lie. He wasn’t sorry. But she couldn’t watch him make excuses. Turning on her heel, she burst out of the office just as suddenly and brusquely as she had entered, leaving Garret standing in her wake.
Chapter 4
Christopher was on the phone as Karen was working on making lasagna for dinner. She could easily tell that it was Garret he was talking to because of how at ease her father sounded. She felt a pang of guilt, knowing that if her dad knew what had been going on between Garret and her, it might destroy their friendship. She knew that her dad had been lonely when she went away to school, and she knew that it had been Garret who had looked out for him, forcing him to go out and have fun, sometimes surely against his own will.
Her heart clenched in her chest. Even knowing the pain it would cause her beloved dad, she couldn’t stop wanting Garret. What had begun as an innocent little secret crush when she was a teen had been left like a seed in fertile soil all the time she was away and now that she saw his face again, it had bloomed into something utterly overwhelming.
“Yeah, she’s making lasagna. You coming over tonight?” She heard her dad say into the phone. Her breath hitched, just like it always did, now, at the prospect of seeing Garret.
“’About an hour.” He continued. He turned around and caught her eye. “Dinner will be about an hour, yeah?” He asked her.
Karen nodded mutely, picking up the casserole dish and sliding it into the hot oven. Despite her complex feelings about the issue, knowing that Garret was on his way had her skin prickling and her heart beating faster. She couldn’t think of his face now without reliving that breathtaking kiss in his office. She knew that his defenses were so close to breaking down and, selfishly, she wanted only to make them crumble even more.
As dinner cooked she dashed into her bedroom. She felt like she was getting ready for a first date as she rifled through her clothes for something that was sexy and yet not too obvious, settling finally on a tight pair of yoga pants and a form fitting tee. It was casual enough that her dad would think nothing of it, but if she was reading the look in Garret’s gaze correctly, she knew that he wouldn’t fail to notice how the outfit left little to the imagination. She swiped on a bit of mascara and tinted lip gloss and dabbed a tiny bit of perfume on her wrists and between her breasts.
She paused when she realized that she was arranging her appearance in an attempt to seduce Garret right under her dad’s nose. Looking at herself in the mirror, she reached for her phone and shot off a text to Olivia.
Karen: SOS
Olivia: What’s up, buttercup?
Karen: I’m trying to seduce my dad’s bff
Olivia: Get it! I support you 100%
Karen: No… you’re supposed to talk me out of it.
Olivia: You texted the wrong girl. Is he into it?
Karen: He kissed me.
Olivia: hahahahahahahaha lol GIRL. Forget dad for a second. It would be cruel of you to deny this man the magnificence that is your ass.
Karen: I mean….it does look pretty good rn. Not gonna lie.
Olivia: See? You’re an adult. It’s really none of your dad's business who you sleep with. Not to make it weird but like, he doesn't own you. It doesn't need to be this big deal. If it will make you feel better I’ll hook up with your dad, send me a pic.
Karen: First of all, gross. Secondly, that would actually make things even, technically.
Olivia: send me that picture, woman. Is your dad hot?
Karen: goodbye.
Olivia: Don't speak to me again until you fuck that poor man.
Shaking her head, Karen tossed her phone onto the bed. Maybe Olivia was right though. Maybe she was assuming too much. Maybe her dad really didn’t care. After all, if he is best friends with Garret then he must think that Garret is a generally good person, and wouldn’t he be happy that she was with someone whose personal goodness he could vouch for?
Her thoughts were cut off by the sound of a car rolling up the driveway. Her heart skipped a beat and she waited until she heard Garret walk into the house and greet her dad before exiting her room, not wanting to look suspiciously eager.
His jaw didn’t necessarily drop, and she wouldn’t have noticed if her gaze hadn’t been drawn to his lips, but his lips did part and his eyes did dilate when he looked at her. She gave him what she hoped was a knowing smile and he looked away pointedly. He had obviously come right from work because he was still in his suit, his thin tie loosened around his slightly scruffy neck.
“It smells amazing in here.” He offered.
“It’s been awhile since there’s been home cooking in this house.” Christopher said, smiling proudly at his daughter.
“Do you like lasagna?” Karen asked Garret, crossing close to him to get to the kitchen, peeking in the oven.
The three of them passed the greater part of the evening in pleasant conversation. They talked about Karen’s experiences at school, with her offering up some of her favorite stories. She found the whole meal difficult though, as Garrets every glance in her direction seemed to be full of an unspoken heat. She longed for the courage to reach for his hand under the table or even just to brush her leg against his, but she found herself suddenly shyer than she had been for over four years.
After telling a story about some of her exploits during a brief stint living in an apartment with four other girls (some bits omitted for her father’s sake) she caught Garret’s gaze and felt a blush rise to her cheeks. She wondered how her father could be oblivious to the tension between herself and Garret. To her the pressure in the room felt heavy and thick, so much so that she found her breath becoming more shallow and feverish with every passing moment.
She was startled by the sudden ringing of her Dad’s phone. He cursed and pulled it out of his pocket, frowning at the unknown number.
“Just a sec, sorry.” He apologized before answering.
“Yeah, this is him. — Someone what? — How bad is the damage? — Okay, fine. Yeah I will be there in a few minutes.”
Karen and Garret glanced at one another as Christopher rose from his seat and ended the call.
“I guess someone has broken into one of my properties and vandalized the place. The police are there. I gotta go. I’m sorry guys. Carry on without me and I’ll be back…later I guess. I don’t know. I’ll let you know.” He was distracted and plainly annoyed as he went around gathering his keys and wallet.
Garret’s expression was stunned as he assured Christopher that it was fine and not to apologize. He kept surreptitiously looking over at Karen, who sat silently. Her father misinterpreted that silence for disappointment and kissed the top of her head.
“Don’t wor
ry, sweetheart. The lasagna is fantastic and will taste just as good heated up later. I plan on eating a lot more.”
Karen let out a nervous laugh, relieved that he was reading her tension as being upset that he couldn’t stay for the rest of dinner.
In less than no time, Karen and Garret were left alone in the kitchen, each reeling from their sudden privacy. Garret rubbed the brown stubble on the side of his cheek and looked down at the floor while Karen, making herself busy, gathered up the dishes and took them to the sink. When she heard his chair scrape behind her she winced, thinking he was going to leave the room in an effort to get away from her, but her fears were eliminated when, seconds later, she felt his hands wrapping around her middle as she stood at the sink. She closed her eyes, her hands going still under the stream of warm water, as Garret tilted his head down to pepper the column of her neck with warm kisses. She sighed, her hands dropping the plate she’d been holding and instead gripping tightly to the edge of the sink. Her skin was inflamed with the desire for his hands to roam, but they stayed firmly planted at her waist She felt like a violin string stretched tight, aching to be plucked.
