Wilder (The Renegades)

by Rebecca Yarros

  “Yet! You’re not even healed and you’re ready to jump back on a bike and flip it backward.”

  “Forward,” he corrected. “We were going backward in Rome, but I’ll actually be working on flipping it forward. Three times, which has never been done. We just didn’t have the right kicker in Rome.”

  My mouth hung open for a second until I snapped it shut. “You nearly got yourself killed going backward, which—forgive my physics—should be easier than forward, and now you’re going to take it up a notch?”

  “If you think that’s almost killing myself, then we should probably talk about your definition of death.”

  That carefully constructed wall I kept lost a brick.

  “I am more acquainted with that concept than you have ever been!” I yelled.

  Okay, maybe it lost an entire row of bricks.

  “What? Because our brakes didn’t work on the zip-line? That was a baby accident compared to what I’ve seen—what I’ve done.”

  My fingernails dug into my palms. “Like what happened in Rome? You can’t tell me nothing happened when you’re sitting on two tampered brake assemblies and a cracked chest plate. You’re not that stupid.”

  His eyes narrowed. “Is that what you call trusting your friends? Stupid?”

  “Is that seriously how you define trust?”

  “Yes.” He walked forward, and I retreated until I felt a stone wall at my back. “That’s when you hand someone your faith.”

  “Blindly?”

  His eyes narrowed. “I’ve known some of them my entire life. I would take a bullet for any of them.”

  “Would they take one for you?”

  “Yes,” he answered instantly.

  “How the hell can you be so sure when you’re sitting on evidence like that? You’d hop back up there and wait for someone to do something that kills you?”

  “I don’t expect you to understand.” His eyes went glacial, which only fueled the anger controlling me.

  “Why? Because I don’t want to hurl my body through space? Because I think you don’t have to do extraordinary things to be extraordinary? I can’t understand because I’d rather curl up with Netflix than drive as fast as I can just to see if I can beat the score of the guy next to me?”

  “What? I don’t race.” He shook his head. “You wouldn’t understand because you live in a bubble of your own making. You can see the amazing things happening around you, but you’d rather watch from the inside because you think it’s safer.”

  “It is safer!” I shouted. Too close. He’s too close.

  “There’s a difference between being alive and living. I live. Every day. I challenge everything, even the law of gravity.”

  “Because you like people screaming your name,” I hurled.

  “You nailed it. It’s all about the fame, isn’t it?” he said, his voice dripping sarcasm. “It’s about landing the trick, about doing something that’s never been done before. About breaking every limit set, even the ones of my own body, because I make the rules. I decide what can and cannot be done. And it’s honestly a hell of a lot of fun.”

  “Fun.”

  He leaned in closer. “Fun. You know, what happens when you let go just a little, step outside your bubble, maybe put on a pair of shorts.”

  I flinched. “You’re an asshole.”

  He smirked. “I’ve been called worse.”

  “Given the trail of women you leave in your wake, I don’t doubt that.”

  “Every woman I fuck knows what she’s getting into.”

  I tried to swallow past the giant ball of pain that lodged in my throat. “And you wonder why it’s hard to trust you.”

  His shoulders dropped, and he backed up a step. “So that’s where we’re at?”

  “Is there a we?” I asked, my voice losing almost all of its fight.

  “I thought so. But you see, there’s the difference between us. I saw you and I wanted you. I talked to you and I liked you. I felt this connection between us and I jumped. You’re the one on the fucking fence, as usual.”

  I would have snapped back, but damn it…he was right.

  “Everything about you scares the shit out of me,” I said honestly.

  His hand cupped my face. “When are you going to understand that’s where life begins? Right at the edge of that fear.”

  I looked away, unable to hold his gaze for one more second before I crumbled. I flipped my wrist and gasped. “Oh my God. Paxton, we were supposed to meet up with the class ten minutes ago.”

  He straightened. “They won’t leave us. Let’s go.”

  We backtracked our steps through the alleys, but they all looked the same. The arches looked the same, the roofline, too. When we came to the crowded main walkway, he grasped my hand. “Stay with me.”

  “Yes,” I answered.

  His smile did little to conquer the fear racing down my spine, but he was with me…what could happen?

  “There’s the door,” he said, and we raced toward the arched exit. Thank God.

  I blinked and pulled my sunglasses down as sunlight assaulted my eyes. “Wait,” I said, spinning. “This isn’t the way we came in.”

  “But that’s the exit,” he said.

  I looked at the door. “It’s door four. We came in door nine.”

  He swore under his breath. “The whole layout is like a wagon wheel. We just need to get to door nine,” he said, and pulled me back into the market. We ran the outside path of the market, counting the numbers of the doors as we passed them.

  “Nine!” I said, but my heart sank and then pounded. “They left us.”

  He looked at his watch. “We’re a half hour late. Damn it. What I wouldn’t give for my fucking cell phone right about now.”

  I looked at my watch. “Oh God. Pax, it’s four thirty.”

  He nodded like he’d made a decision. “Okay, we need to find a cab and get to the port.”

  My hand clasped tightly in his, we made our way through the crowded path until we reached the street. Paxton tried for five minutes to hail a cab and finally stepped into traffic.

  A cab stopped right before hitting him.

  I was too scared of missing the ship to chastise him, just got in the backseat. Paxton slid in next to me and, over the course of another five minutes, managed to convey our destination to the cabbie. We jolted into traffic, and I bolted forward when the driver hit the brakes.

  Paxton leaned over me and fastened a seat belt that looked like it had been installed during the disco era. We hit gridlock traffic, and I broke into a sweat.

  “They’re going to leave us,” I said as I looked at my watch.

  4:55.

  “They’d better not,” he muttered. Then he glanced over at me and sighed, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pressing a kiss to my temple. “I’ll take care of you.”

  I scoffed. “Who is going to take care of you?”

  He laughed. “There’s my Firecracker.”

  We were stopped on the bridge when I looked past him and lost all hope.

  “Hey, Pax?”

  “Yeah?”

  “They left us.”

  “How are you sure?” he asked into my hair.

  I pointed to the window. “Because that’s the ship.”

  Paxton’s attention snapped to the gorgeous white cruise ship with Athena painted across the bow that was currently sailing out of Istanbul.

  “Well, fuck.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Paxton

  Istanbul

  “What are we going to do?” Leah asked me, her voice pitching higher with every word.

  My brain raced. It wasn’t like we could land a helicopter on the ship…or could we?

  “Whatever you’re thinking, try bringing a little reality into it,” she suggested, her eyes wide. “We’re not strapping ourselves to the backs of dolphins or trying out a jet pack—”

  I covered her mouth with mine, quieting her the only way I knew how—the only way I wanted
to. I kissed her breathless, losing myself, groaning at the way she responded to every stroke of my tongue, every soft bite at her lower lip. I kissed her to put a Band-Aid over the gaping wound we’d ripped open in that market.

  The cab lurched forward as traffic moved, and I broke the kiss. “It’s going to be okay,” I promised her. “No matter what just happened, we’re going to be okay. Trust me, Firecracker.” I meant more than being left behind, and by the timid smile she gave me, she knew it.

  “Okay,” she said.

  Never had one word meant so damn much to me.

  I tucked her under my arm and leaned toward the cabbie. “Can you change directions?”

  “Where to?” he asked.

  We needed a hotel for the night, and there was no way I was taking Leah anywhere that wasn’t 100 percent safe. “The Ritz-Carlton,” I answered.

  “Pax, I don’t have that much money on me,” Leah whispered.

  “Lucky for us, I do,” I answered. She looked down, so I tipped her chin up to look into her eyes. “The money is nothing. Let me take care of you.”

  She nodded, and I kissed her puckered forehead.

  …

  An hour later, we were checked in to a terrace suite at the Ritz-Carlton, and I had never been so thankful that I’d brought my credit card. We’d devoured some room service and calmed down enough to think rationally.

  “Okay, let’s see what we have,” Leah said, leaning toward the coffee table and emptying the contents of her travel wallet thing. “I have our passports—”

  “Wait. You what?” I picked mine up and verified the goofy smile picture. “Why?”

  “Because we’re required to have them in Turkey. I knew you’d probably jump into the river or get yourself blown up, so Hugo gave me yours before we disembarked, thank God. And what kind of middle name is Iskander?”

  “Greek,” I answered. “Have you been snooping, Firecracker?”

  Her cheeks flushed pink. “It’s only fair. I bet you have an entire file on me, right?”

  “Actually, Penna does,” I answered honestly, then tossed the contents of my pocket into her pile. “And she won’t tell me a damn thing that’s in it.”

  She sighed in relief, piquing my curiosity.

  “Okay, let’s see.” She picked through our pile, then included the teapot she’d stored in her little backpack with a tube of sunscreen. We had two passports, enough Turkish lira for lunch, breath mints, lip balm, a folded itinerary for today’s plans, my credit card, our empty wallets, and a condom.

  “Seriously?” She raised her eyebrows at me.

  “I keep it in my wallet,” I answered with a shrug. “I guess it’s a good thing since we got fucked over by the ship.”

  She rolled her eyes. “We knew the rules. This is our fault.”

  “Okay, let’s make a plan,” I suggested, trying to focus my frustration.

  “Right. Okay, we have to meet up with the ship by the next port or we’re kicked out of the program.” She opened the laptop I’d had the hotel deliver and slid it between us on the coffee table. As she logged on to the internet, she leaned forward, showing a strip of delicious skin right above her— Holy shit. She was wearing a thong. A pink one. A tiny pink string that led from the little triangle peeking above her jeans to slip between the globes of her perfect ass.

  “Paxton?”

  I snapped forward. “Sorry. I was shamelessly checking out your ass.”

  Her mouth opened and shut a couple times, but she didn’t pull her shirt down in the back, just shook her head and half smiled in a way I couldn’t interpret.

  “Okay. Well, the next actual port is Athens, and that’s in five days. Well, five days from tomorrow.”

  Perfection. I had five days with her to work this shit out between us, figure out what the hell we were doing before we got slammed with cameras again. And I knew just the place to take her.

  She sighed.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked. “Other than the obvious?”

  Her shoulders dropped. “We’re going to miss Mykonos. This is the week with the optional shore excursions.” She clicked through the ship’s itinerary. “Damn it.”

  Out of this entire experience, Mykonos was the one thing she’d wanted. “What day is the Mykonos one?”

  “Thursday.”

  I could work with that. I put the computer on my lap and started to make arrangements.

  Four days with her. Four days to show her who I really was, why I did the things I did. Fate had given me one opportunity, and I was taking it.

  “What are you doing?” She looked over my shoulder.

  “Buying plane tickets.”

  If I turned my head, I could kiss her again. I could set the computer down, flip her to her back, slide over her, and find out what my name sounded like when she was screaming it.

  My fingers flew faster, booking us on the nine thirty a.m. flight.

  “Mykonos?” she asked, looking at the screen.

  “I figured we could spend four days there, then hop back with the shore excursion on the fifth day. We wouldn’t even have to wait until Athens.”

  “You’re…you’re taking me to Mykonos?” Her eyes were huge pools of disbelief and wonder.

  I clicked the purchase button before I gave her my full attention. “I promised you I would. I know a great house we can stay in, and I know we’re missing classes, but it will give you a chance to re—”

  This time she stopped me with a kiss. She didn’t push it further, just a simple press of our lips, but when I felt her smile, it went down in my book as the third best kiss of my life.

  And she already owned the top two.

  “Thank you,” she said.

  This girl was tying me in some serious knots. “I had them bring up pajamas for you, if you wanted to hop in the shower.”

  “Thank you. That sounds like heaven.” She pushed off the couch and stood, her stretch revealing another tantalizing strip of skin, this time of her stomach. “I’ll take the couch tonight. Your ribs need that bed.”

  Hell no. “Absolutely not. My ribs are fine. You’re in the bed.” When she cocked her head at me, I almost laughed. “I never said chivalry was dead. I’ll sleep on the floor before you’re out here on the couch.” After the day we’d had, the last thing I was going to do was put her to bed on the couch.

  The few feet that separated us felt like a mile, the words we’d thrown at each other in the market coming back to wedge their way between us.

  She nervously chewed on her lower lip before meeting my eyes. “You know what? We’re adults. We’ll both take the bed.”

  My mouth went dry, every possible scenario running through my oversexed brain. Could I sleep next to her and keep my hands to myself? Yes, because you’re not a fucking animal. Don’t be an ass. “Okay.”

  Her smile was tentative. “Okay. Then I’ll be right back.”

  She disappeared into the bathroom, and my eyes locked onto the door like I was suddenly going to develop X-ray vision. She was getting naked. Twenty feet away from me. I groaned, rubbing one hand over my eyes and the other adjusting the growing issue in my pants.

  The draw I felt toward her was incredible, indescribable. Stronger than magnets, than chemistry, it was a primal, clawing need in me—not necessarily for her to be mine, but for me to be hers. To be worthy of being hers after all the shit I’d done, the fuckups of epic proportions that never went away.

  And once she realized what I’d done…why I’d really chosen her…

  I was so fucked.

  This wasn’t how I planned it.

  She was nothing like I assumed she would be. She was strong yet unsure, smart yet naïve. Innocent, yet so sexy that my hands literally tingled whenever I thought of getting them on her skin.

  Skin she wouldn’t show anyone.

  She turned on the water. Now she was naked and wet.

  “Knock it off. It’s not like she invited us,” I said to my overly excited dick.

  I fired
off an email to Penna and Landon to explain our current situation, making sure they knew we were fine, had funds and a plan. The last thing I needed was them calling in the cavalry. I had zero doubt that if I wanted to, I could get us onto the Athena tomorrow. But then I would lose out on the private time I had with Leah, this precious chance to simply be with her. No school. No cameras. No distractions.

  I left them with instructions not to rescue us and hit send.

  Now I had to find a way to get us on the same page, to take down whatever walls she’d constructed.

  The shower still ran. I debated all of five seconds and fired up Google.

  This is wrong. Don’t do it.

  I brushed the angel off my shoulder. If I didn’t know what had happened to her, I couldn’t help her, and obviously she wasn’t opening that door on her own. I didn’t need to throw it wide open, just enough to get a peek.

  Eleanor Baxter, California.

  I typed three words into the search engine and sold my soul to the devil as I hit enter.

  The screen filled with links, and I clicked the first one, my heart sinking at the title of the article. “Granada Hills Senior Survives Fatal Canyon Car Accident.”

  The article loaded, and the picture of a crumpled car at the bottom of a ravine came into focus. Holy shit.

  How the hell did she walk away from that?

  Maybe she didn’t.

  I devoured the article.

  eighteen-year-old eleanor baxter was found late last night, severely injured, clinging to the topanga canyon wall, over one hundred feet above where the car she had been a passenger in burned into the morning. the driver, identified as nineteen-year-old brian newcomb, was killed in the crash.

  reports indicate that newcomb lost control of the vehicle, a late-model honda civic, which went off highway 23 a little over twenty-four hours before santa monica fire and rescue discovered the scene, using a helicopter rescue team to bring ms. baxter from the ravine.

  initially, the vehicle had rested along the canyon wall, but eventually fell to the bottom of the ravine.

  “i don’t know how she hung there so long,” captain delmonico, with smfd told us. “it looks like she was in the car almost eighteen hours before she managed to get out. with the condition she was in, it’s a miracle she held on for another six hours. strong young lady, that one is.”