by Jay Forman
I’m sorry.
I held the phone tight, staring at the screen, willing it to light up again.
Me, too.
I really didn’t know.
Want to talk?
Yes.
I threw the duvet off, swung my feet down to the floor and stepped on Imbri’s plush shell. I picked him up and put him back on the bed but then changed my mind. I wanted to bring him with me for moral support. I was about to make either the smartest or dumbest move of my life.
I only stubbed my toe once as I tried to navigate my way out of my room and down the hallway to the top of the stairs. Imbri and I made it down to the ground floor without incident. I waited for another flash of lightning and saw the outline of Jack’s body on the couch.
I held Imbri tighter and walked over to the couch. I’d been planning on gently sitting on the edge of the couch, but Jack’s walking cast had different ideas. He’d taken it off and left it on the floor beside the couch. Imbri took flight when I tripped over the cast and flung my arms out to catch myself as I fell forward. I think he landed either on or near Jack’s head. I landed half on the coffee table and the rest on the floor beside the couch.
“What the hell?” Jack’s voice was muffled. Imbri must have landed on his face. “Why’d you do that?”
“I didn’t do it on purpose!”
“Where are you?”
“Down here.”
“Why?”
I rolled over and sat up. My knee had taken the brunt of the crash landing but I didn’t think it was bleeding. My face was right next to Jack’s. “I tripped over your cast.”
“Oh.”
Neither of us said anything. The storm rumbled outside and the lightning flashes were fewer and farther in-between, so I only caught the occasional glimpse of his face. He was lying on his back, looking up at the ceiling. He was waiting for me to make the first move, to start the conversation.
But I didn’t know what to say. An entire encyclopaedia of words was swirling through my head and the accompanying thesaurus of alternate word choices was only confusing me more. I’m sorry didn’t say nearly enough. Sorry for pushing you away for so long. Sorry for flaunting Hunter in your face whenever you talked about Lisa or went on a date after Lisa was gone. Sorry for all the times we could have shared, should have shared. The words began to coalesce into a cohesive message – I don’t want to lose you. Ever. But I couldn’t let those words out. I was still too scared to let them out, even to Jack.
“I love you.” Fewer words. Powerful words.
He turned his head and looked at me. “I love you, too.”
He’d said it to me many times, but there was a hopeful tone in his voice that I’d never heard before.
I didn’t see his arm move, but felt his hand cup the back of my head and gently pull it toward his. With effort, I fought my ingrained instinct to pull back. I wanted to feel his lips on mine again. I wanted him. I let myself lean forward and took the biggest emotional bungee jump of my life.
And he caught me.
I slid under the Hudson’s Bay wool blankets and stretched out beside him.
He held me close, caressed me so tenderly, slowly. He was staying in control of himself, building up for a marathon. My body wanted to sprint. I knew where I was, but didn’t know where I was going. It was unlike any trip I had ever taken but, as he brought me to the edge time after time, I knew I’d want to come back.
Hunter had never taken it slow.
I kicked him out of my head. He didn’t deserve to be there. He didn’t know how often Jack had been in my head when we’d been together.
But Jack wasn’t in my head this time. He was inside me.
I didn’t have to fake anything. Every gasp, every sigh, they were real.
Another storm system was building up steam outside. Thunder grumbled through the sky, getting louder with each roar.
The earthquake that rolled through my body and Jack’s was so powerful that it left me shaking.
“You okay? You’re crying,” Jack whispered in my ear.
I wiped my cheek and the small puddle of tears on his chest and just nodded. My body had said more than enough. Words weren’t necessary.
I fell asleep listening to the rhythm of his heartbeat slowing down.
For the second time that night a close lightning strike woke me up. It was so bright that it took a few minutes for my eyes to focus. The sun was coming up somewhere above the clouds.
Imbri was lying on his back on the floor, his fat flippers sticking up in the air.
Jack was lying on his back, his skinny legs stretched out long past mine on the couch. He looked so peaceful.
I could have just snuggled in and gone back to sleep, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to, had to, prove to myself that it was real. That I hadn’t imagined or dreamt how wonderful making love with Jack had been.
And it had been love, not just sex.
I woke him up with my mouth and lowered myself onto him just as his eyes opened. He looked surprised when I told him not to move. This time I was going to sprint. And watching him lose control was almost as satisfying as feeling it.
I fell asleep to the sound of his gentle snoring that time.
When I woke up for the third time the sunlight streaming in through the lakefront windows was blinding and I had to squint. I stretched one arm out to drape across Jack’s chest ... but his chest was soft and squishy and fuzzy. Imbri had replaced Jack.
I looked around the room, but he wasn’t there. His walking cast was gone, too.
Then I heard his voice. He was in the kitchen. And he wasn’t alone.
“...don’t think she’d want you to make a big deal out of it, though.”
“Well! It’s about bloody time is all I can say.” Auntie Em. At least she wasn’t doing her ridiculous happy dance, or if she was she was doing it very softly. I couldn’t hear her feet tapping on the kitchen linoleum. I pulled the blankets over my head. “All those baby sweaters that I’ve knitted over the years might actually get some use now.”
“Whoa! Nobody said anything about babies...,”
“And I’m sure I’ve got an Icelandic sweater in your size. You’ll need it on the honeymoon. Lee wants to take an explorer cruise through the Northwest Passage. Not exactly romantic, but those Narwhals do look a bit phallic. You’re not going to run off to Vegas and elope are you? Because if you are...,”
“We haven’t discussed...,” Jack started and he sounded like he was struggling for words.
I knew which words to use. “Go home, Auntie Em!” I yelled through the blankets.
“I know!” She kept right on going. “I’ll just pop home and whip up a batch of her favourite blueberry popovers! And I’ll see if I’ve got any champagne, we can have mimosas. This deserves a celebration.” So much for Auntie Em not making a big deal out of it.
“We won’t be here, actually. I was just about to wake her up. We’ve got a meeting with Will Lightfoote in a couple of hours and I need to swing by my place first.”
We had a meeting with Will? Since when?
“You’ll have to go the long way. That’s actually why I dropped by, to tell Lee that the main road’s washed out in Port Hamlin. What with the spring melt, the heavy rain last night, and the beavers damming up the stream at the north end of town, the road’s completely submerged. Good thing too, as it turns out. The transformer took a direct lightning hit but when the pole fell over it landed in water so there wasn’t a fire this time. They’re saying it could be hours before we get power back again. You don’t know anything about back-up generators, do you? Lee’s probably going to want a hot shower, given your night-time activities, so we should fire hers up.”
“I can take a look at it.”
“That would be lovely. It’s not a big fancy propane one like the one you’ve got at your place, though. Hers is gas powered.”
I heard Jack’s metal crutches clang together. “Let’s go see what I can do.”
“Be rig
ht with you, I just want to go congratulate Lee on your consummation.” I heard her little feet trotting into the living room and felt her pull the blankets down just enough to be able to kiss me on the forehead.
“I’m proud of you, girl.” She pulled the blankets back over my head. “And happy for you, too.”
I didn’t lower the blankets until I heard the kitchen door close, and when I finally flung them off I wished I hadn’t. The temperature hadn’t just dropped – it had plummeted. I scooped up my clothes from the floor and ran upstairs to get some warm clothes. One of those Icelandic sweaters of Auntie Em’s would have come in handy, but I wasn’t anywhere near ready to wear it on a honeymoon!
A shower was out of the question without power. Even if the pump had been working the water would have been too cold. A cold shower the night before might have been a better idea.
I pulled on a clean pair of jeans and shivered. They were icy cold. Thankfully, the Auntie Em made Aran sweater that I pulled on next warmed up quickly. I needed every stitch, row, cable and twist. My teeth were chattering almost as fast as she was nattering outside by the generator beside my house. Poor Jack was getting an overly enthusiastic earful. He silenced her with one successful yank on the chord to start the generator. The numbers on the clock on my bedside table started flashing 12:00. I picked up my cellphone to plug it in to charge and noticed that I’d received eighteen new text messages. All of them were from Hunter. All of them were deleted unread.
The kitchen door banged shut and I heard Jack clump-clumping into the kitchen.
“I’m up here!” I shouted.
“Well come down here. I’m putting the kettle on and I’m not offering room service.”
Thankfully, the prime on the pump hadn’t been lost so I was able to fill the cup in my bathroom with enough very cold water to rinse after giving my teeth a quick brush. My shower would have to wait. The big old tank under the house would take at least half an hour to warm up. Maybe it was time to invest in an instant tank-less water heater? Yeah, right. Like I could afford that. I’d buy one right after paying the property taxes.
I took the stairs slowly. The thick wool socks that Auntie Em made were extra slippery on the bare wood steps. “Hi.”
“Good morning.” Jack was standing at the counter, stirring the steaming contents in the mug in front of him. “This is for you.” He dropped the spoon into the sink and held the mug out for me to take.
“Thanks.” Awkward! I didn’t know what to say and didn’t even want to look him in the eye, so I stared at my tea instead and took a little sip. He’d sweetened it to perfection. “You shouldn’t have told Auntie Em, you know.”
“I didn’t tell her. You didn’t hear her squeal and clap when she saw us in on the couch?”
I shook my head. I was usually a light sleeper, but I must have been almost comatose to sleep through one of Auntie Em’s squeals. And I hadn’t felt Jack getting up, either.
“Why do you have a shotgun in your shed?”
That question came out of left field! “It’s not mine. It was Uncle Doug’s. And it’s not loaded. Auntie Em made me take it; she said I should have it around for protection.” Little did he know how close he was to figuring out the bear shooting, but I would never betray Auntie Em. I changed the topic quickly. “I heard you tell her that we’re meeting with Will. Care to tell me why?”
“To tell him everything; about your panda bear theory, Greg’s scam...,”
At least he was believing me about that now.
“...and that Ethan may have found out about it. I’ll called Marcy, too. She’s furious and she’s launching a formal investigation into the Allamanda development. Greg must have had the audit documents forged. Once Will checks out that panda he’ll be able to confirm Jocelyn’s possible involvement...,”
“I don’t want to tell him any of that! Not until after I’ve had a chance to see that panda for myself.”
“Look, Lee, Will’s been quite clear about you letting him handle everything from now on and I happen to agree with him. I don’t want you putting yourself in jeopardy.”
“And what about what I want? Last night we agreed that I’d go check out the panda...,”
“We didn’t actually come to an agreement on that...,”
Since when did we have to come to formal agreements on anything?
“...and I care too much about you to let you risk...,”
“To let me?” I plunked my mug down onto the counter. Let me?
“You know what I mean.”
I sure did. I knew he had a possessive protector streak in him, but just because we’d slept together didn’t give him the right to go all paternalistic on me. I also knew that he could be just as stubborn as me, so I thought of a way to avoid the whole issue. “What time are we supposed to meet Will?”
“Noon.”
“Perfect. That’ll give me enough time to have a shower here and then we can swing by your place so you can have your shower there.”
“Or, another option, we could save water and shower together. Your place or mine; either one’s fine by me.”
“I like my plan better.” For reasons I wasn’t going to share with him. “You’ll even have time to shave.”
“You don’t like it?” He rubbed his chin.
I shook my head. “It scratches.”
*
I waited until I heard the water running in Jack’s en suite before making my move. Then I ran ... right out the front door and to my car. Jack could meet with Will if he wanted to, but I had other plans.
A security guard I hadn’t seen before was in the office under the keep. An open bag of Oreo cookies sat on the ledge in front of the monitors. The whites of his eyes were bloodshot and his pupils were the size of platters. “Karl?” Dick had said Karl the pothead was on duty the night Kayla died, and the guy in front of me not only looked like a pothead, his cookies were a dead give-away, too.
“Hey, Miss Smith, how are ya feeling? I heard about what happened yesterday.”
“I’m fine, Karl. Thanks for asking.”
“How’s it going for you and Mr. Hughes?”
Had Auntie Em sent out an all-points bulletin to the entire township? “In what way?”
“You two are looking into that girl’s death, right? Working with the cops?”
Talk about the world’s worst kept secret! “Yes.”
“I was the one who found her.”
“I know. Actually, you might be able to help us. Jack can’t remember which Board members were still here when it happened...,”
“I got you! I can tell you who was here. I was making my rounds when I heard her drop. Mr. Hughes’ Mulsanne was parked right next to Mr. Allenby’s Austin-Healey 3000 Mark 1. I feel sorry for that car, having to carry a heavy load like him. Mr. Hendrie’s KIA was over by the lamp post. Mr. Burgess’ F-Type R Jag coupe was by the stairs down to the staff lot. Why he got it in Firesand Orange is beyond me. It’s a butt ugly colour.” He shoved his hand into the cookie bag and pulled one out. “Mrs. Tory’s Porsche Cayenne was here, too, but she was just coming out the staff door when the girls started yelling at each other.”
“Two girls were yelling at each other? Could you hear what they were saying?” Will hadn’t mentioned that Kayla was arguing with someone before she fell.
“Nah, I couldn’t hear their words, but the girls are always yelling or screaming about something. You know girls, right?”
“Yeah, I know.”
“The scream she made just before landing though, boy that was something else. And the sound of her hitting…” He gagged a bit on the cookie in his mouth.
“Was Greg Horscroft here that night?”
“Nah, I didn’t see his Avalanche and I would have noticed it.”
“What about the day Ethan disappeared? Were any of those cars here then?”
“No. Oh hang on, now that you mention it I think the Avalanche was here that day. Mr. Horscroft had me help him carry some of them sticks they u
se for polo into the school, said he wanted to show them to Mr. Allenby’s boys.”
A polo mallet across the face would definitely leave a mark and it could easily knock someone out of a kayak. Greg was muscular, so lifting the kayak out of the water would have been easy for him. But it didn’t sound like he’d been at the school the night Kayla died, if Karl’s car memory was accurate. “And you didn’t see anything on your monitors down by the boathouse that day? Something out of the ordinary?”
“Tell ya the truth, we don’t pay much attention to the cameras by the shore at this time of year. Nothing much happens down there until after the ice has gone out. The cops may have seen something on the footage, but none of us guys did.”
Was that another thing Will had neglected to tell me about? Did he have security footage that showed him who went into the boathouse with Ethan?
Since Karl was in such a talkative mood I decided to go for broke and ask him about the day of Jack’s accident. “What about the day Old Pete’s truck ran into Jack? Are there cameras pointed over the soccer pitch?”
“There are cameras now, but there weren’t any then. We just had those cameras put in the other day as part of the system upgrade. That was kind of peculiar about it rolling down the hill like that. The last time it moved was back in 2004. The looney French teacher took some kids for a spin...” His walkie-talkie squawked to life.
“Karl, we’ve got some kids smoking down by the bench. They’re skipping. Want to go bring them in?” A male voice asked.
Karl pushed a button of the side of his walkie-talkie. “I’m on it.” He grabbed one more cookie before closing the bag.
“I’ll let you get back to work. Thanks, Karl.”
“No problem, Miss Smith. Any time, eh.”
“Please, call me Lee.”
“Okay, Lee.” He pulled a Maple Leafs toque down low on his head. It was so faded and worn that it could have been bought around the time when the Leafs’ won their last Stanley Cup in 1967. “Nice talking to ya.”
He left through a door at the back of the security office and I walked through the open glass doors and across the quad.
Greg being at the school when Ethan disappeared confused me. Could there be two killers? God, I hoped not. And what about the day Jack was hurt?
