“No.”
“Do you want to hear something funny?”
“Always.”
“I’m starting to believe it, too,” I said, casting Jake a sidelong look to see if the admission bothered him. Instead of frowning, though, he smiled. That gave me the strength to continue. “He gets me and never tries to change me … unless it’s little things like stripping naked in the living room the night before the maids come. He keeps telling me that it’s not their job to do our laundry. But I think they should pick up my dirty underwear and shut their holes.”
Jake chuckled, mirth filling his eyes. “You’re happy. I see it on your face. That’s all that I’ve ever wanted for you.”
“I know.” This wasn’t a sober occasion, but I couldn’t stop myself from straightening a bit. “You’re not happy.”
“I’m not unhappy,” Jake clarified. “I’m not sitting around feeling depressed or anything. I’m merely trying to decide which way I want to go with my personal life. The good news for me is that my professional life is pretty well settled. That gives me one less thing to focus on.”
“You don’t … miss Cara, do you?” The question wasn’t easy to ask, but I needed to hear his answer. I couldn’t stand the woman, but if Jake missed her and wanted to be with her I’d have to find a way to suck it up. The last thing I wanted was him to be miserable.
“I do not miss Cara. Don’t worry about that.”
“Are you sure? I mean, I won’t apologize to her or anything, but if you want to get back together with her I’ll make an effort to be nicer.”
“Oh, yeah?” Jake cocked an eyebrow. “How would you be nicer?”
“I wouldn’t openly laugh when she said something stupid. Behind her back is another story, of course. I would try to be less rude if that’s what you want. Is that what you want?”
“No.”
I couldn’t help feeling relieved. “So … what do you want?”
“I want what you and Eliot have,” Jake answered without hesitation. “Wipe that look off your face. I don’t want you. Not exactly. I want the comfort I see when I look at you and Eliot.”
“I wasn’t so comfortable when my mother showed up,” I reminded him. “Eliot’s not going to be comfortable when everyone leaves because I’m going to make him pay for ensuring that I had to spend quality cleaning time with my mother.”
“Yeah, you talk big, but you love him and he can’t stop making heart-shaped eyes at you whenever you’re in a room together,” Jake argued. “You have little snits, which you both like because it’s like foreplay, but you don’t have many big fights. It seemed, especially toward the end, that all Cara and I had were big fights.”
“Did you love her?”
“No. That’s why it was so easy to walk away. The problem is I think she convinced herself she loved me and now she’s holding on to something that was never there in the first place.”
“I can see that.” I scratched the side of my nose, considering. “Have you thought about what I offered?”
“To allow me to live in your guest room so you can make a Jake and Eliot sandwich?”
I frowned, agitation bubbling up. “I said that when I was drunk. You can’t hold that against me weeks after the fact. It’s your fault I was so drunk in the first place.”
“How was that my fault?”
“You were buying and I had a designated driver.”
“Oh, well, as long as you have a reason.” Jake grinned as he rolled his neck.
“I was talking about when I suggested that I pick out your next girlfriend.” I refused to be derailed from the important topic of the day. “I think it’s your best bet. I only like cool people, and if we’re going to spend a lot of time together I need to like the woman in your life.”
“The sad thing is I think that makes perfect sense in your head. It makes zero sense in my head. Why would I possibly let you pick out my next girlfriend?”
“Because it will be enjoyable for all of us.”
“I think it will only be enjoyable for you.”
“That’s what I meant when I said ‘all of us.’” I poked Jake’s side to earn a smile. “It’s going to be okay. We’ll handle the Cara situation. You’re the top cop in the county, for crying out loud. Just call one of your deputies the next time you see her on your street.”
Jake looked exasperated. “That’s an abuse of power.”
“You’re the sheriff. As sheriff, you have to put up with a bunch of crap. The only reason to put up with it at all is because you can abuse power and mess with people. The Force knows that’s the only reason I’d ever run for sheriff.”
“And Macomb County sleeps safer with that knowledge,” Jake muttered, shaking his head. “I think we’re all thankful you’re not sheriff. In fact … hey, what are you looking at?”
I was trying to listen to Jake’s diatribe, but I caught a hint of movement out of the corner of my eye and focused on that instead, frowning when I saw a bit of dark hair billowing in the weak wind. “Son of a … !”
I was on my feet and moving in the direction of one of the neighbor’s shrubs before I completely realized what I was looking at. I felt rather than heard Jake following. He wasn’t going to be nearly as excited if I discovered what – or rather who – I thought I’d uncover.
“Ha!” I hopped around the side of the bush, making a face so twisted that only a mother could love it. Not my mother, mind you. Someone with a loving and non-judgmental mother would totally love it, though.
Cara jerked, caught in the act, and stared at the bush for a long beat before swiveling. Her eyes were dark when they locked with mine. “This isn’t what it looks like.”
“Oh, well, that’s good,” I drawled, tapping my flip-flop on the ground. “It looks to me as if you’re spying on my party. I’m glad to hear you’re merely hiding in the bushes because you want to see our neighbor get naked instead.”
Cara balked, her face flushing with color. “That is not why I’m here!”
“Really?” I kind of wanted to smack her. Another part of me – the bigger part – felt sorry for her. She was beyond pathetic and obsessed. “So if you’re not here to see the naked neighbor, you must be here to spy on our party. There’s really no other acceptable answer.”
“I … .” Cara broke off and chewed her bottom lip, the conflict evident. “This isn’t as bad as it looks.”
“It can’t possibly be as bad as it looks,” I muttered, rolling my neck until it cracked. “I’m not sure how we should handle this, Jake. I know what I want to do, but it might not be the right thing to do.”
“I’ll walk her to her car.” Jake’s voice was calm, his expression unreadable. “I’ll make sure she gets in and leaves. Don’t worry about that. I’ll make sure she doesn’t ruin your party.”
“Oh, I’m not worried about that.” I waved off his concerns. “I was trying to decide if I should beat the crap out of her here or drag her down into the spillway so she ruins her outfit when I slap her around.”
Jake scorched me with a look, clearly unhappy with the suggestion. “Really?”
“What? I’m pretty sure I can take her.”
“Let it go.” Jake grabbed Cara’s arm and directed her toward the street. The neighbor’s house sat on a corner lot and I could see Cara’s car now that I was in a better position. “Go back to your party. I’ll be there in a second.”
That sounded like a terrible idea, and not just because I didn’t want to be cut out of the action. My big worry was that Cara might lie about Jake getting physical with her if he didn’t have a witness to back him up. The bigger problem was that I wasn’t a particularly credible witness – I have a reputation for lying to get out of trouble and I’m not afraid to admit it – and I wanted Jake to have someone more responsible on his side. Thankfully for me, Eliot picked that moment to join us.
“I’m glad you’re here.”
“I can see that.” Eliot slipped an arm around my waist as he studied the situ
ation. I could see his mind working, and I had a fairly good idea that it landed in the same spot my mind zoomed to only moments before. “I apologize for leaving you off the guest list, Cara, but we only have so much room.”
“And my family full of monkeys is taking over the entire space even as we speak,” I muttered. “We can’t add a venomous spider to the mix.”
Eliot flicked my ear to quiet me, but otherwise remained focused on Cara. “You need to go. You shouldn’t be here.”
Instead of being abashed – or even relieved to be released from the property – Cara had the gall to straighten her shoulders and smooth her blouse. She acted as if she was better than us and we were somehow inconveniencing her. “As I was telling them moments ago … this is not what it looks like.”
“This is exactly what it looks like, and we’re not idiots,” Eliot countered, lowering his voice. “Now, we have a house full of family and friends. You’re not invited to the party. You’re trespassing on our neighbor’s property, in fact, and we’re within our rights to call the police. Is that what you want?”
Cara made an exaggerated face. “Like Jake would arrest me.”
“He would have no choice if we press charges,” Eliot shot back.
Cara glanced at Jake for confirmation, and when he nodded she began to melt down. “Oh, well, this is great! I’ll have you know that I was simply driving through the neighborhood and saw this beautiful bush.” She gestured toward the bush I first saw her crouching behind. “I simply wanted to see what kind of bush it is.”
“It’s a lilac,” I said dryly. “Are you satisfied?”
“I … well … yes.” Cara refused to cop to what she was really doing. I had to admire her for that. I’d do the same in her position. Actually, I’d kick Jake in the shins and run before he could give chase. But that’s just me.
“Then you should go,” Eliot suggested, his voice icy as he kept a firm grip on me. I think he was worried that I would attack her. She was far too pathetic to attack, though. It wouldn’t be a fair fight.
“Fine. I’ll go.” Cara swiveled quickly and mustered one shaky step before Eliot stopped her.
“Don’t come back here, Cara,” Eliot warned, his tone positively dripping with disdain. “If you do, I will call the police. If you cross onto our property, I’ll assume it’s because you want to do physical harm to Avery. I will be within my rights to shoot you if you trespass … and I’m always armed. Keep that in mind.”
Wow! That was a chilling threat if ever I heard one. I risked a glance in his direction and saw he was deathly serious.
“I wasn’t spying on you,” Cara protested, her eyes filling with tears.
“Knock that off,” Jake warned, extending a finger. “We all know what you were doing and why. That won’t work on me. What Eliot said is true. If you come back here, you’ll be in a world of hurt. This isn’t like when you park outside of my house and watch it for hours on end.”
“I don’t do that!” Cara was close to the edge.
“You do,” Jake argued. “I won’t allow it any longer. Stay away from Avery. She has nothing to do with you. If you cross boundaries here … I will gleefully make sure you end up behind bars.”
Cara narrowed her eyes to dangerous slits, her gaze busy as it bounced between our faces. Finally she landed on me, and I could practically feel the hate seeping out of her. “I have no interest in ever seeing Avery Shaw again.”
“That’s convenient then,” Jake said. “She doesn’t want to see you either. That means there’s no reason for you to be near this house. Do you understand me?”
“I understand,” Cara spat, irate. “You’re protecting her above all else. That’s what you always do.”
“And it’s what I’ll continue to do,” Jake said, refusing to argue. “If I see you in this area again, I will arrest you. That’s a promise.”
“And I’ll do worse,” Eliot added. “That’s a promise, too.”
Cara flicked her eyes to me, as if she expected me to make things worse. That’s exactly what I did.
“If I see you I’m going to turn on the hose and film with my phone the little dance you do,” I offered. “Then I’m going to put it on YouTube.”
Cara made a growling sound that reminded me of a rabid dog. “You won’t see me in this area again. Are you happy?”
“That depends on whether or not you’re telling the truth,” Jake replied. “I guess we’ll have to wait to see.”
6 Six
By the time Tuesday hit I was ready to return to work, even if I was handling a fluff story about the opening of a new mall aquarium. I did my best to pretend otherwise, rolling around in bed for an extended period before getting up and letting Eliot cook me breakfast – he needs things like that to make him feel loved, by the way. I do that as a favor for him. I’m not making it up.
I wore my “Bite Me” Shark Week shirt for the occasion. Eliot purchased it for me the summer before because I was obsessed with the annual week-long television extravaganza and he found it entertaining. I didn’t bother to stop at The Monitor before the event, because it was in the opposite direction. I had notebooks stashed in my car and there was an extra spring in my step as I skipped up the walkway, flashed my press pass at the woman watching the door and stepped inside of a new aquatic wonderland.
“Ooh, gummy sharks. Score!” I headed straight for the refreshment table, grabbing a Diet Coke and a baggie full of sugary shark goodness before scanning the room. When I finally looked up I had a gummy shark sticking out of my mouth as I met Eliot’s steady gaze. He stood fifteen feet away, Jake at his side, and merely shook his head as he watched me. I slurped the shark’s tail into my mouth before speaking. “What are you doing here?”
Jake grinned at my faux outrage. “Oh, now that’s class right there. I can see why you adore her as much as you do.”
“She has her moments.” Eliot cracked his knuckles as he watched me warily walk in his direction. “This isn’t one of them, mind you, but she has her moments.”
I decided to refrain from arguing and be adult about the situation. “Kiss my dorsal fin.”
Eliot broke out in laughter as he reached for one of my gummy sharks. I snatched the bag from him before he could lighten my load.
“Are you seriously not going to share?” Eliot faked disgust. “And here I was going to take you to the Red Lobster for the Ultimate Feast once we were done here.”
I stilled, my stomach inadvertently growling despite the fact that I’d eaten a full breakfast before leaving the house. We were going to head to Red Lobster the previous evening – as he suggested when he stopped at The Monitor on Friday – but we decided to spend the night naked and watching horror movies instead. What can I say? I’m a homebody, and sometimes putting on real pants is a chore.
“You’re taking me to Red Lobster?”
Eliot nodded. “You missed out on your mountain of food last night. I know how you love the Ultimate Feast.”
“I do love the Ultimate Feast.” I took a moment to debate my options before finally handing him one of my gummy sharks. “I guess I love you enough to share.”
“I’ve never felt more adored,” Eliot deadpanned, causing Jake to snicker.
“You guys are so cute you should have reality television cameras following you around,” Jake teased.
“Don’t push me,” I warned, shifting from one foot to the other as I gave the front lobby a better look. The walls were painted with a fantastic underwater mural featuring great white sharks and krakens. “Do you think they have a kraken?”
“That’s an octopus,” Jake replied, rolling his eyes. “Krakens aren’t real.”
“That shows what you know. Giant octopuses are definitely real.”
“Yes, but they don’t have them at a Macomb County mall,” Jake shot back. “Why are we even having this argument? It’s a stupid argument.”
“I think it’s a brilliant argument.” I handed Eliot another gummy shark without being prodded. �
��What are you doing here?”
“I got a call this morning that they were having trouble with the cameras monitoring the facility. They called me in to see what I could do about it,” Eliot replied, sliding his finger through my belt loop and smirking at my T-shirt. “You’re the only person I know who would actually wear that shirt to an assignment. Fish will freak out when he sees it.”
“He’ll live.”
“I think people have come to expect that Avery will show up in the most inappropriate outfit possible to each and every event,” Jake offered. “She’ll be fine.”
“Who is here anyway?” I asked, craning my neck. “Is anyone fun coming?”
“Define fun.”
“People I hate.”
Jake was blasé. “Isn’t that half of the free world?”
“More like three-quarters.”
“Ah, well, actually someone you do hate is here,” Jake offered, his eyes twinkling. “I’m almost positive you will want to unleash the kraken as soon as you see him.”
Oh, well, that was interesting. “Who?”
“It’s a local politician who has earned a bit of your ire throughout the years.”
“Jack Logan? Timothy Preston? Mitchell Johnson? Oh, is it Sarah Wharton? I ticked her off last week and I’ve been dying for a reason to go for round two. If I’m going to be stuck covering a fluff opening, then I want to hear some good gossip to start out my work week.”
“Um, I haven’t seen any of them,” Jake replied. “I have, however, seen … .”
He didn’t get a chance to finish because a snarky voice – one that haunted my nightmares and made me want to punch men the world over in the gonads – filtered over to our little area. “What is she doing here? Please tell me this is some sort of joke.”
I moved to swivel, my hands ready to plant on my hips, but Eliot kept his finger in my belt loop and forced me to remain close to him. He must’ve sensed I would fly off the handle when I realized that Tad Ludington was in attendance.
That didn’t stop me from contorting my body a bit … and fixing the man I hated more than anything – we’re talking more than liver, cooked carrots and avocados here, people – with the most hateful glare I could muster. “What are you even doing here? I thought this was a public relations event for real politicians.”
[Avery Shaw 11.0] Unwritten & Underwater Page 6
