by Starla Kaye
It was finally Saturday, finally the day of the Grangeville Parade that kicked off the bulk of the events in the town’s celebration month. Cassie wasn’t really in the mood for a day of putting on a happy face and pretending everything was great. Yes, the floats had gotten finished and, as far as she knew, all of the other things involved with today were ready to go as well. Excitement was in the air all around town.
As she set her coffee cup on the counter and glanced around her kitchen, she felt lower than low. She hadn’t seen or talked to Dalton since the other night, and that hadn’t been a good time for either of them. Certainly not her. She’d slept on her stomach and grumpily cursed him as she cried herself to sleep. He’d spanked her and then taken her from behind, fast and quick. Sex. Not making love. Worse, it had been unprotected sex. She’d also realized that hadn’t been the only time they hadn’t taken precautions.
Tears threatened again and she blinked them away. She didn’t have time for them. She didn’t have time for worrying about the slim possibility that Dalton had managed to get her with child. Something he had wanted for a long time. He would no doubt be ecstatic if it were true. In truth, she didn’t hate the idea, but she’d rather have been involved in the decision to make a baby together. Okay, maybe she had been, because she’d been fully aware of what they were doing. She could have stopped him.
Why didn’t you?
She couldn’t think about that now. She was expected to be at Halley’s Hardware in a half hour to ooo and ahhh over all of the floats before they headed down the parade route on Main Street. This parade would be the last of the town’s events that she would participate in. She’d talked with the town council yesterday, something that had been difficult to do, but necessary. She’d changed her mind about running again, partly because of the problem between her and Dalton, partly because maybe he was right. While she liked doing things for the community, she had taken on way too much and it was wearing her down. After being kept so long from doing anything that her ex hadn’t approved of—which had been nothing that didn’t make him happy, she had wanted to do everything. She’d felt needed by the community, really needed for the first time in her adult life.
But the community didn’t particularly need her; they just needed someone who could be a leader, someone who cared about the town. Jim McAdams cared and was willing to give his time. They might not agree on everything, but he would be good for the town. It was time she moved on, focused on her life. And it was time she made a firm decision about Dalton.
She picked up the cup and took another sip of coffee. Dalton had patiently stood by her all this time. Even though he grumbled and complained a lot about her being the mayor, he had actually supported her. He’d listened to her and given his opinion on matters. Yes, they often hadn’t agreed, but he’d been there for her.
Her heart pinched as she admitted to herself that he’d been there for her, but she hadn’t really been there for him. Not like he wanted and needed her to be. At this point in his life, he was tired of dating around. He was ready to get married and start a family.
A tear trickled down her cheek and she dashed it away with one hand and set the cup down again with the other. Dalton deserved better than a woman who had burst free of an abusive marriage and been running scared from taking a chance on another marriage. She wasn’t sure she would ever stop having the occasional nightmare about what she’d endured. But Dalton had held her and comforted her as she’d cried out in terror from one awful memory or another when they’d slept together. She hadn’t wanted to burden him with her emotional baggage. She’d told him time and again that if he found someone else…
Her bottom clenched and unclenched. She remembered how he’d glowered at her for even saying such a thing. A time or two he’d even spanked her for it. Her big, sometimes gruff cowboy had one hard hand and he definitely knew how to use it. Her cowboy. Yes, darn it. Dalton Reede was hers. Could be hers. If she dug up the courage to fight for him. If she stopped running away from what she really wanted.
A glance at the clock on the stove warned her she had absolutely no more time for thinking. She needed to go fulfill her duty as mayor. And then, as she’d told the town council, she was leaving town for at least a week. She needed to pack up her art materials and go stay somewhere with no distractions. Her showing was coming up all too fast. As Dalton had been telling her, she had to focus if she wanted to do this and wanted to finally take her artwork seriously. She did. But, now she realized she also needed to spend serious time figuring out how to win back the man she had recently hurt so badly.
***
“Aren’t you going to the parade?” Evelyn asked from where she stood at the window in the Sheriff’s Office. “If I didn’t have to listen for the phone, I sure would be out there on the sidewalk. It looks like most of the townsfolk are lining up, waiting for the parade.”
Dalton sat behind his desk, straightening and re-straightening the files and small notes in front of him. He hadn’t looked at any of them since he’d come in here an hour ago. He didn’t want to be here, but he didn’t want to be at the ranch either. He didn’t know where the hell he wanted to be…other than not watching the parade. It was a reminder of all the differences between him and Cassie. A reminder of all the things she did that kept them apart. She gave everyone else and everything else her time. He felt like he was last in her life.
“Go on out and watch. I’ll deal with the phone,” he said, forcing his problems aside. “You’ve been looking forward to this. I haven’t.”
She marched into his doorway, stopped with her hands on her hips. “Dalton Reede, I’m sick and tired of you sulking around here. So are your deputies.” She huffed in disgust. “I imagine your brothers are, too.”
He scowled at her, but didn’t counter what she’d said. He knew everyone was steering clear of him. His brothers had all but ordered him to leave the ranch, tired of his grouching around.
“I would think you’d be doing a happy dance at getting your way.” She shook her head, her mouth thinning in displeasure. “Most of us around here are real sad, though.”
“What are you talking about?” He had been so involved with the animal abuse case and then basically licking his wounds after walking away from Cassie two nights ago that clearly he’d missed something.
Evelyn studied him for a second and in the background he heard the high school band tuning up down the street. “You don’t know, do you? Buried in your troubles. Oblivious to what’s going on in town. Sad, Dalton. That’s really sad.”
He blew out a breath. “Just tell me what you’re talking about. I’m not in the mood to play games.”
At first he didn’t think she would answer him. She could be as stubborn as he at times, especially when she was unhappy with him. Then she looked straight at him and said, “Cassie pulled out of the upcoming mayoral race. She told the town council yesterday.”
Dalton felt gut-punched. “She’s not running again?” Odd, he didn’t feel as good about that as he’d thought he would. “Why the devil did she do that?”
The sound of excited voices out on the sidewalk became louder. Evelyn looked torn between wanting to tell him more and wanting to go watch the parade. She turned away, said over her shoulder, “Surely a sharp man like you can figure it out. You finally wore her down.” With that, she walked out of the office.
He sat dumbstruck. He’d gotten what he’d been telling Cassie he wanted. She’d changed her mind, again, about running for the community job that kept her so busy and kept her from focusing on her budding art career. And it was a distraction that kept her from committing to him, to building a life together and having a family. He should be over-the-top happy about this change of events. Why the hell wasn’t he?
His mind shifted back to ‘having a family.’
A family! He’d been mentally kicking himself for the last two days. How could he have been so stupid to have had unprotected sex with Cassie? Obviously he’d been thinking with his lower br
ain. He’d been desperate to make love with her again. But they hadn’t made love. He’d all but forced himself on her in a rash moment of need. Damn, damn, damn!
He ground his teeth in frustration. She could have told him No and he wouldn’t have taken her. At least he hoped he would have had the sense to back away and do what was right.
But she hadn’t stopped him, not even long enough to remind him to use a condom. There was probably only a slim chance that he’d gotten her pregnant. He prayed he hadn’t. As much as he wanted children with her, he needed for it to be a decision they made together. If she were pregnant, they would deal with it…together.
Sick with the idea of what he’d done, of maybe having completely blown his chance to ever have something good and forever between them, he angrily shoved all of the files from his desk.
Well, hell!
He looked in disgust at the mess he’d made. His whole damn life was a mess. This had to end. Neither of them could continue on this way. Did that mean he was willing to let her go, stop trying to maneuver her into agreeing to marry him? Could he accept that the best he could hope for with her was their being lovers?
Closing his eyes, he slumped, admitting defeat.
Yes, he would accept whatever she was willing to give him. What he couldn’t do was live without her. It was time he did some compromising. He needed to prove to her exactly how much she meant to him. Maybe he’d even convince her to run again for mayor.
No. No, he wouldn’t do that. But if she changed her mind, again, he would support her and stop being so damn negative.
He pulled his cell phone from the clip on his belt and speed-dialed Parker. The instant his brother answered he said bluntly, “I need you to come work for me here today.”
“I’ll be there in an hour.” Parker didn’t even ask why he needed him and Dalton was glad he didn’t have to explain.
***
“What do you mean you’re leaving town?” Rachel asked, gaping at Cassie. “Tomorrow?” She puffed up in anger. “Is this about Dalton? I swear I’m—”
“He’s a good man,” Cassie interrupted as she stood beside the high school’s float at the end of Main Street that she’d just climbed off of. She’d spent the last hour smiling so much her cheeks hurt. She’d hoped to at least see Dalton pop his head out of the Sheriff’s Office when the float had passed by there. He hadn’t. Stubborn man. She’d been certain he was there because Evelyn and the deputies had been outside with the crowd watching the parade. “I’ve hurt him.”
Rachel didn’t deny it, but she sighed and looked worried. “I hate to see you two this way. You love each other, I know it.”
Cassie nodded. “I’ve been frightened of… Well, of really letting another man get close to me. Of making another mistake.”
“Dalton would never—”
“No he wouldn’t ever hit me and I know that, in my heart I know it. I have known it for a while.” He would turn her over his knee, spank her good and hard from time to time, but what he did was never abuse. Nothing at all like she’d suffered in her marriage.
She gave her worried friend a smile. “I’m done fighting my feelings for him. Now I’m going to fight for him. At least after I get back from this short retreat away that I absolutely must do.”
Rachel looked relieved yet still concerned. “What if he doesn’t understand why you’re going away? What if it just makes things worse between you?”
Cassie was worried, too, but she had to do this. If she stayed in town, people would continue coming to her about every little thing about the other upcoming town events. She wouldn’t be able to paint in peace.
When she got back, she would fix things with Dalton.
***
Leaving. Cassie was leaving town. He’d run into Rachel and her family when he’d finally had a chance to search the parade route for her after Parker had arrived to handle his duties. Rachel had been reluctant to tell him about Cassie planning to go away somewhere tomorrow. He’d panicked, his gut clenched in dread. He’d growled his frustration and said things he didn’t mean. Fortunately Jim had walked up and taken him aside. He’d told him to stop acting like a damn fool, by avoiding Cassie and now by snarling around because she was finally getting around to focusing on her show next month.
Dalton felt calmer now, but he still worried about her leaving without their talking first. He needed to apologize, grovel, whatever it took to get back on her good side. More than anything he needed to hold her in his arms.
He pulled into her driveway just as she stepped out of side door carting a large box. She stumbled, but managed to keep from falling. Barely. He cut the engine and flew out of his truck, heart racing.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he asked brusquely as he grabbed the box from her and then sat it down on the porch.
She ignored his question. “What are you doing here?”
“We need to talk.”
They did, but suddenly he didn’t know what to say. At least she didn’t look about to tell him to go away, which he’d been afraid she would tell him. He’d treated her pretty bad lately. All his moaning and groaning about her being mayor. His getting all bent out of shape and not taking her with him to the ranch like he usually did. His burning her butt the other day.
“Yes, we do.” She glanced down at the box filled with odds and ends of her painting equipment. “I was just loading some things in my car.”
She looked up at him uncertainly. “I’m going away for a few days, probably a week.”
He could see in her troubled eyes that she expected him to be upset. He’d sunk that low in her opinion. Damn.
“I heard about it from Rachel.” He wasn’t upset, more worried about delaying their talking matters out.
She blinked at the quiet way he’d spoken, looking confused. “You’re right; I need to concentrate on getting ready for the art show. And I can’t do it here. There are too many interruptions.”
He watched her worry her lower lip in that way she did when she was nervous. He made her nervous. God, that hurt. He wanted to pull her to him, wanted to kiss her, but forced himself to keep his hands to himself.
“I’ve missed you.” True, but couldn’t he have said something better than that?
She gave him a weak smile. “I’ve missed you, too.” She blew out a shaky breath. “I’m so sorry, Dalton. You deserve a far better woman than me.”
He shook his head, feeling better, yet still worried. Was she calling what they had completely off? Was she trying to force him away? Not if he could help it!
Before he could protest, she tipped up her chin and said boldly, “But I want you and I’ll fight any other woman for you. Just so you know.”
Had he heard her right? Or had he only heard what he wanted to hear? “You want me? Even after all the crap I’ve said, all the grief I’ve given you?” He could hardly breathe.
She stepped in front of him, sandal-to-boot. “Yes, cowboy. I love you.”
“You’ve said that before.” Why the hell had he said that?
“If you still want me, I’m prepared to back up the words.” She swallowed hard, her gaze determined. “I’m ready to marry you…to have your children.”
He’d waited what seemed like forever to hear her say that, but only if she really meant it. “I want all of that, sweetheart, and I’m willing to wait as long as it takes. I don’t want to pressure you into something you’re not ready for. And I know I’ve been pressuring the hell out of you.”
She smiled a little bigger and her eyes grew warm. “I’d say you’ve had the patience of a saint with me, but it wouldn’t totally be true. You’ve done a fair amount of growling and complaining.” She reached back to cover her jeans-covered bottom with her hands. “A bit of spanking, too.”
“No denying any of that. And I’m real sorry about some of my behavior.”
He cupped her face and thumbed her soft cheek. “I’m also sorry about forcing you to give up being the mayor. I know how much i
t meant to you.” Don’t say it. “I’ll support you if you decide to run again. I mean it.”
Tears misted her eyes but she shook her head. “I finally realized it didn’t mean as much to me as I’d thought. Jim will make a good mayor, even if he’s wrong about a number of issues.” She turned her head to kiss his palm. “You, my big, stubborn cowboy, mean more to me.”
Her words smoothed away all of the pain he’d been feeling at the distance between them, calmed him. “So when are you going to make an honest man out of me?”
“Is that your proposal?” She laughed. “Pathetic really.”
He glanced around the small porch, frowning. “There’s not enough room here for me to go down on bended knee.”
“How about just saying the right words?”
Then she stepped back and shook her head. Again, that sassy chin went up. “Never mind.” She looked him square in the eye. “Will you, Dalton Reede, marry me? Will you—”
He bent down and covered her mouth with his. He kissed her with all of the love he felt for her, quietly thanking the good Lord for finally granting his wish. When he eased up once more, he could only stare down at the precious woman who owned his heart.
Amusement flickered in her eyes. “So was that a Yes?”
“Damn straight.”
He wasn’t ready to let her out of his sight, not even if he understood why she was leaving. He grabbed his cell phone and dialed his brother. “Have Craig round up a couple of ranch hands to help him out for a week or so. You’re going to be taking my place in town.”
Dalton listened to Parker question him, although he didn’t sound upset or worried, just accepting. “I’m going away with Cassie.”
His heart was racing and he felt more than a bit uneasy as he looked at her. “That okay with you?”
She made him wait, made him sweat, before she asked, “Are you going to be a distraction?” But he saw the twinkle in her eyes.
“Damn straight.”
“Good answer.”
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