White Trash Beautiful

by Nichole Severn

  “Mom had a few tricks up her sleeve.” Luke threw a tortilla onto a plate, grated cheese over it and added the peppers, onions and mushrooms. The meat was nearly done.

  “I missed her funeral.” Real sorrow coated Trey’s tone.

  “You missed a lot of things.” He shook his head, instantly regretting the words. He hadn’t made her stay here to bring up the past and the expression on her face made him feel as if he’d just kicked a puppy. “I’m sorry, that was uncalled for.”

  “No,” she said. “You’re right.” Her attention darted elsewhere.

  Luke set the plate in front of her. “Hey, I didn’t mean—”

  “Doesn’t matter.” Trey smiled up at him, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

  He wiped his hands on the dishtowel and watched her dig in. “Can I ask where you were?”

  She stopped eating, her gaze frozen on him through thick black lashes. Trey swallowed the food in her mouth, licking her lips.

  The action sent a pulse of heat right between his legs. Luke nearly doubled over. It’d been a long time since a woman had affected him that way.

  “You mean yesterday or two years ago?”

  “The latter,” he explained.

  “Vegas.”

  “What for?” Was she hooking there, too?

  She wiped her mouth with a napkin. “I just had to get out of Parkvista.”

  “You had to get away from me, you mean.”

  An audible inhale and exhale echoed around the kitchen, and Trey stared down at her plate. “I didn’t want to, but yes.”

  He’d known it since that morning he’d woken up alone two years ago. He just wanted to hear it from her. Luke nodded to himself, his thoughts flying in random directions to justify her answer. “So why’d you come back?”

  ****

  She’d been trying to answer the same question herself for over a year.

  Her father had tried to pay her debts, sold the house, declared bankruptcy to save her life, but his sacrifice wasn’t the only reason to come back to Parkvista. “I had some unfinished business.”

  Luke snorted in amusement. “Sounds like something a bookie might say.”

  She tried to laugh it off. “I wouldn’t know.” Another lie. She knew all too well what a bookie, specifically one who worked for the Caminos, would and wouldn’t say, how far they’d go to get their money and how many people they’d hurt to do it. She finished her food and pushed the plate back. “Thanks for doing this.”

  “Well, I know what it’s like to not want to go home.” Luke cleaned off her plate and dropped it into the sink without meeting her gaze. “Stay as long as you want.”

  Trey watched him play perfect host as he cleaned up dinner, wiped down the counters and loaded the dishwasher. Something along the lines of contentment slithered beneath her skin, but nothing came without a price. Not in her life. “What do you get out of this, Luke?”

  He leaned against the counter, his arms bulging from the pressure of holding his weight in all the right places. His relaxed stance sent a shot of longing into her chest. She’d been happy in those arms. Right up until May 4, 2010, the exact day her father’s decisions had shattered her dreams. Luke didn’t answer for a moment, but he didn’t need to.

  She only wanted to hear the words.

  “You haven’t guessed that part already?”

  “You can’t save me.” Nobody could. Not from her father. Not from the Caminos. Or from herself. She’d gotten herself into this life knowing she could never go back. Why did Luke think he could change that?

  He pushed away from the counter without a sound. Striding around it, he stood beside her, his stomach nearly pressing against her right arm. Luke leaned down. Trey held her breath, a tingling sensation running rampant throughout her entire body. The idea of touching him again, of feeling whole again, brushed the edges of her mind. Those things were reachable. She could have him. Only if he wants you, she reminded herself. He brushed her hair back from her face.

  She closed her eyes as he trailed his fingertips across the back of her neck and sank further into safety. Nobody could find her here. Nobody could ruin this for her.

  “I don’t believe that,” he whispered into her ear.

  His voice sent shivers across her chest and down to her toes, just like the old days.

  Trey knew where this would end and part of her wanted it. The other part, however, knew exactly how many men had paid her to have sex with them and what her father would do if he found out about this moment. She didn’t want Luke tangled up in them. He was the man who would always bring her back from the edge and she didn’t deserve anything he offered. Whores didn’t deserve second chances.

  She couldn’t consciously ruin him for her own selfish pleasure. “Luke,” she whispered, fully intending to tell him to stop. The words hit the lump in her throat as his lips hovered above her ear, his breath warming her. They made contact with the bare skin on the right side of her neck.

  Trey wanted more, needed more, needed him, but she jerked away from his touch. “I can’t do this.” She pushed on his chest, but couldn’t escape with his hand locked around her wrist.

  “I’m not asking you to do anything you don’t want to, Trey.” Luke’s words were soft, full of a devotion that she longed to return.

  Just give him something, she told herself. Anything to let him know how much you care.

  “I know you.” He slowly pulled her in closer. His gaze leveled with hers, even though she tried to look away. “You don’t want to run anymore.” In one swift movement, he’d lifted her up, forcing her legs to wrap around his back.

  Luke would never hurt her. He would never make her succumb to him, but a small doubt in the back of her mind told her she would be the one to force him. She wouldn’t be able to stop herself once she overruled her own decision.

  He’d been right though: she didn’t want to run anymore. She wanted him. Here. Now.

  A few steps later, Luke laid her down on the bed, his body directly above hers. The weight of him took her breath away. The broken rib only made it worse. She gasped in pain, but experienced relief in the next motion as he rolled them over the king-size bed. Trey straddled him and recalled almost every single face that had looked up at her from his position. Her fingers tightened in frustration. They had no right to be in this moment. None of them did.

  “What’s wrong?”

  She didn’t answer, lowering her lips to his neck as a distraction from the faces behind her eyelids. Trey laid kisses down the side and across his Adam’s apple eagerly, harshly. She tore at the bottom of his shirt. She could do this. Hundreds of men had taught her how to seduce a man. She’d even developed a routine.

  Luke sat up, bringing their bodies back together as she wrenched the fabric over his head.

  She wanted this. This was why she’d come back to Parkvista. For him. To have a second chance with him, to apologize for leaving him behind. Her kisses ventured lower, trailing over his chest, over each abdominal muscle and further. Her left hand ventured upward, wrapping around one of his steel biceps.

  “Trey,” he hissed. Luke pulled her fully on top of him, trying to catch her lips with a kiss.

  She loved the sound of her name spoken that way, especially with a hint of a growl from him, but a kiss would only ruin this for her. She dodged his intentions. Her routine had never included lip locking, the action too intimate, and to deviate from the plan would only make this situation more real. If it wasn’t real, then her father couldn’t find out. If it wasn’t real, Luke would be safe from the Caminos. Trey began her descent again, her tongue enjoying the taste of salt and musk as it crossed his abdominals. Her breathing stayed even as she closed her eyes, but her heartbeat quickened, her private fantasy taking over.

  Every time she’d been forced to sleep with a man, she’d envisioned Luke. His powerful arms, the softness of his lips, the content in his eyes, each held a special place in her heart. Her “happy place” included them together, a life
where she didn’t sell her body, where she’d never run away or given up her life for her father. He smiled at her in the dream. “Tell me you love me.” The words escaped her mouth both physically and within the fantasy, just another part of the routine.

  His inhale filled her ears as she planted a kiss directly under his naval. “I love you.”

  The expression held no meaning for her in reality, but made her chest ache in her mind. How long had she waited to hear those words again? Trey unbuttoned his pants, looking up into his eyes, but not really seeing the man in front of her. She gave him a coy smile, lowering her mouth to the patch of hair running into his slacks.

  She bit him.

  A pair of strong hands jerked her forward, throwing her back into reality. “What the hell are you doing?”

  Suddenly Luke appeared in front of her, his brown eyes resembling steel rather than the liquid depths she’d dreamt of. Trey’s mind went blank with surprise. “I—I thought you wanted—” Understanding came too late. She’d had him in her reach the entire time, but had let her routine get in the way.

  “I did,” he hissed. Luke sat straight up, discarding her onto the bed as he stood. “But I’m not going to let you treat me like one of your damn johns.”

  Chapter Nine

  It hadn’t really hit him until last night.

  “So now you believe she’s...?”

  “Yes.”

  “And you kicked her out?”

  “No.” Luke took a sip of his coffee, the patrons of the diner minding their own business today. He felt heavy, weighed down by the memory of Trey running from the apartment. She hadn’t said a word during her escape, but Luke couldn’t find it within himself at the time to respond. She’d used him. She’d treated him like a damn client and not the man who’d given her everything he had. “She left.”

  Tucker shook his head. “Man, I didn’t think she was really in the game.”

  You’re not the only one.

  “I’m sure glad I’m not in love. Too much work.”

  “You have no idea.” The two sat in silence for what seemed hours rather than seconds, every moment dedicated to Trey in Luke’s mind. “I don’t know what to do next.”

  “Sure you do.” Tucker gulped down a mouthful of coffee then gently set the mug on the table. “You love her. What’s there to figure out?”

  “Weren’t you the one telling me to get away from her?” He didn’t wait for an answer, shaking his head. “Reynolds was right. She’s a whore.” Luke hated himself for speaking every word. “She sleeps with men for money and for what? A few hundred bucks?” He leaned back in the booth and stared out the window. A small hope that she’d walk by planted itself in his chest. He could vent his frustration out on her then, make her see what she was doing to him. “It’s impossible to love someone like that.”

  “Luke,” Tucker said. “Look at me.”

  He sighed in exhaustion, reluctant, but forced his eyes to connect with his partner’s gaze.

  “You’ve been love with her since you were in high school. You proposed to her. Hell, you even joined the force so you could look for her when she skipped out.” Tucker leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table. “Why?”

  Luke couldn’t answer. Not only had Trey torn his heart out the morning after his proposal, but she’d also involved herself in a job that broke the law when he was supposed to uphold it. His career had been thrown up in the air when Trey came back to Parkvista and he wasn’t sure which side of the fence it would land on. Admitting his feelings out loud would make the decision for him. The idea of not being a cop, of running away with her in tow had crossed his mind, but it obviously hadn’t crossed hers. Last night had proven it. She was good at what she did and, from the look on her face right before she bit him, she might have even enjoyed it. He couldn’t be the type of person in love with a prostitute. It wouldn’t end well.

  “Because you love her, right?”

  Luke sighed in resignation. “It’s not the same, Tucker. Things are...different now.” He looked back out the window, sure that Trey wouldn’t walk by just because he wanted her to. “We should go.” He stood, throwing ten bucks onto the table.

  “You know, being a coward isn’t a legitimate career.”

  A flash of hatred shot from his mouth, tinting his words. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  “We were raised in the same house. Your parents took me in and you’ve always treated me like a brother. We’re family, man. We were taught the same principles by the same people. So why can I see this and you can’t?” Tucker stood, staring directly at him from a whole six inches shorter height. “You’re the one running away this time.”

  ****

  She’d slept in the alley behind Luke’s apartment.

  Trey wobbled down Main toward the junkyard, disgusted she’d let it get this far. She’d let Luke back into her life, the man she’d run from in the first place, because he’d showed her some concern. Desperate for someone to want you? she asked herself.

  Yeah.

  Luke loved you and you left him. The thought made her scoff aloud. “Fear makes pregnant women even crazier,” she whispered to herself, running her hand over her barren abdomen.

  The night of Luke’s proposal, she’d left his bed to go home and tell her father, the smile on her face so wide it had hurt. Nothing in the world could have taken her joy away at that moment, but Cal Aston managed. His reaction had taken her by surprise, the memory of the very first time he’d hit her fresh in her mind. The threats followed after the shock had worn off. Her father would kill Luke Johnson for taking away the only chess piece he had against the Caminos. After that, she’d had an idea of how her father would react to the news she hadn’t even told Luke before she left town. Cringing from the hatred and anger in his eyes, Trey realized saving the life of her unborn child took priority over the man she’d loved.

  “Keyword: loved.”

  A pang of “what if” hit her in the chest. Hard. She could have gone back to Luke’s apartment and explained what happened instead of leaving a note on her pillow. She could have called from Vegas to tell him she was alive. Could have asked him to come with her, but fear of the Caminos and of her father kept her mouth shut.

  It wouldn’t have worked.

  Going home hadn’t been her first thought this morning, but after everything Luke had said, it turned out the junkyard remained the most logical choice. At least there, she knew her place.

  She slid the aluminum door aside, the smell of stale cigarettes assaulting her nose.

  “You’ve been with him, haven’t you?”

  Sober. Not a good sign.

  “I thought we had a deal.” Cal Aston stared at her from the recliner. He stood, shuffling across the floor as his ripe clothing expelled the scent of man, sweat and garbage. “I promised not to miss another payment to the Camino Family to keep you alive. All you had to do was stay away from that low-life boyfriend of yours.” He stopped in front of her. “And you couldn’t even do that.”

  Trey’s heart leapt into her throat, but she stayed calm. She didn’t know what to say except the truth and hoped it would be enough. “I didn’t sleep with him.”

  The punch came fast and hard.

  Before she understood that she’d hit the floor, another fist slammed into her face.

  “You’re an idiot if you think I believe that shit!” he yelled at her. “That’s what you do best, isn’t it? Sleep with trash just like you.” A wad of spit landed on her cheek, sliding down into her hairline. “You’re exactly like your mother. Nothing but a useless whore.”

  Blood dripped from her lips and nose as she breathed into the dirt floor.

  Her father had turned his back to her.

  Trey had enough energy to push herself to her feet, but she felt ten times heavier than when she’d walked in the door. His words were true enough, but she wasn’t just useless, she’d become worthless. She’d been arrested more times than she could count hooking, she
couldn’t earn her father’s love, and she definitely couldn’t hold onto the one man who’d given her a glimpse of happiness. “Do you love me?”

  Cal didn’t turn around as he answered. “I did.”

  Tears slid down her face silently and she wiped at them hard, vague sadness slithering through her one inhale at a time. The pressure on her face made her wince. She couldn’t do this anymore. Her love for Luke had never been a blessing, but it had been real at some point. Why couldn’t she have that again?

  She stumbled forward, having to support herself against a nightstand they’d turned into a kitchen table. Her feet felt like concrete sinking into an ocean. She could barely move, but made herself stay on her feet. “You think I’m exactly like Mom, Dad? She didn’t ask for this life.” Trey took another step toward him. “And neither did I. You chose this life for us. You missed the payments and we’re the ones having to pay for it.”

  Cal turned to face her again, shaking his head. “You shut your mouth, girl. You don’t want to go down this road.” He wiped sweat from his brow. “At least your mother had the good sense to kill herself,” he said, waving in her direction. “I’m still waiting for you to grow some brains.”

  The tears disappeared as Trey realized he meant every word. “You’re a fucking coward.”

  He pointed a crooked finger at her. “Don’t you talk to me like that, you little bitch!” Cal stepped closer to her. “Don’t you dare! I gave everything I had to the Caminos to keep them from killing you and this is how you repay me?”

  “You should have let them kill me!” she yelled, her eyes boring into his. The words didn’t scare her as much as she imagined they would. In reality, he should have given her over to the Caminos. None of this would have happened if he had. She would have died loved by a father and a fiancé, would have joined her mother wherever people ended up after death. She would have died happy. “You want someone to blame? Blame yourself for being a drunk. You spend all that money I give you on alcohol instead of making your payments and I will not let it weigh on my conscience.” Trey turned to leave, not bothering to retrieve her belongings. They were worthless, just like her. “I’m done.”