by Parker, Ali
“You’re welcome. Seems you all worked up an appetite,” I said, as I sat down at the table with them. Arms reached out crossing over each other as they grabbed food like they hadn’t eaten in days. It made me smile.
“You know that we did,” they said, clowning around. I looked at the table and saw Dylan in his element, with his family. They had big smiles for each other as they teased one another and played around. They were true family. I knew then that the Dawson Ranch was where he belonged. He needed to be with his brothers, and his time here with me was coming to an end. This made me a little sad, but I knew from the beginning that we could never last. It was just a fling, or so I kept telling myself.
“You see how I laid that Andy out flat? Helen, I wish you could have been there to see it. You of all people deserve to see those Taylor brothers put in their place,” Dylan said.
“Yes, I wish I could have seen it in a way. But violence is not for me. Don’t be surprised if the law shows up here any minute. You boys think you can get away with a lot don’t you?” I said, putting butter on my toast.
“We usually do,” Tanner said.
“Nah, those Taylor brothers wouldn’t snitch. They are not good people, but they don’t want to get the law involved even more than us. It would probably put Andy back in the slammer, so they’ll keep their mouths shut for sure,” Dylan said.
“I have to say, Helen, you have a really beautiful ranch here. I am very impressed with it.” This from the eldest brother, Wyatt, clearly changing the subject.
“Thank you, Wyatt. That means a lot to me.”
“Yes, it’s gorgeous and amazing,” the other brothers agreed. I nodded thanks to all of them.
“Dylan says you’re thinking about making some changes here. Going back to old school, traditional, pioneer was it?” Connor asked.
“Yes, in fact, it was Dylan’s brilliant idea. I’ve been looking over some projects and a budget, and I think it really is something I can actually have ready for the fall season. It would be a good time to roll it out and make the transition. I think it’s going to be a good thing for this ranch,” I said.
“My lovely lady happens to be an interior designer and does all kinds of stuff like that. I know she would be more than happy to give you any advice or help she could, if you needed it,” Connor said.
“Thank you, that is very kind. I just might take you up on that,” I said, touched by the generosity of the Dawson brothers. Were they all like this? Always eager to help and offer assistance?
“No problem. I’m sure she’d love to come out here too. Maybe she and I could come in the fall and make a little holiday break of it. It is really romantic out here—I could see how two people could fall in love,” Connor said. But he wasn’t looking at me, he had a big smile for Dylan. My face turned red and I wondered how much Dylan’s brothers knew about what was going on between us. Did Dylan tell them? Or did they figure it out on their own? Did I have it written all over my face?
I quickly changed the subject back to work because I was starting to get overwhelmed with anxiety.
“Yes, you would be welcomed here with your lady. I have some ideas and could use some professional input on it. What are y’all getting into after breakfast? Hopefully not another fight.”
“Actually, we need to get back on the road to Safety. We can’t leave the place in the hands of our father and sister too long. Takes a lot of work, as you obviously know,” Wyatt said.
“Yes, I do know. Speaking of that, I need to go check on my guests, they should be waking up and headed to breakfast about now. Please excuse me and I will definitely say goodbye before y’all leave.”
“Thank you for breakfast, Helen.”
“And for putting us up in the bunkhouse.”
“You’re most welcome. Try not to get in any trouble in the next thirty minutes,” I teased them. They all laughed as I walked out the back door. Really, I just needed to get away from the brothers because I didn’t want them to see right through me. I was sure they knew something was up between me and Dylan, but I didn’t want to be confronted by it. I didn’t know exactly how I felt about him, and they would see that doubt on my face. It was too much to handle so I ran out the back door. I did that a lot, I was starting to notice.
But as I walked across the ranch and out of the fenced area around the main house, I couldn’t believe that these brothers had traveled all the way from Safety only to come get into a brawl with their brother’s enemy. It was impressive, even if it was arrogant and cocky. I was surprised that these brothers were so tight, but knowing what a good man Dylan was, it shouldn’t be that much of a surprise that he came from a good family.
“How does it look, Eddie?” I asked, as I reached the outdoor eating area. Only one family was sitting at the table already eating breakfast. I smiled at them with a nod.
“Looks good. Everything is ready, the coffee is hot. It’s a go for the rest of the guests to wake up,” he smiled.
“Good, keep up the good work. I’m going to go check in with Marshall,” I said.
“Sounds good, Helen.”
“How y’all doing this morning?” I said, in passing to the family as I walked by.
“Good morning. We’re fine, thank you,” they said.
I walked over to the stable to make sure that Marshall was ready for the first lessons that morning to be presented to the guests. They were going to learn about hay and feeding the goats. I liked to start them off slow in the morning.
“Marshall, good morning,” I said.
“Morning, Helen.”
“What’s the report out here? You ready to show them how to feed the goats?”
“Yep, all ready,” he said.
“Well, this all looks good. Why don’t you go see Eddie about some breakfast? Only one family is up at this point, so it might be an hour or two before anybody heads out this way to learn about hay,” I laughed.
“Alright. I could use some coffee and toast,” he said. “Say, you got visitors in the main house?”
“Oh yeah, Dylan’s brothers made a surprise visit. Came yesterday, but they’re leaving this morning,” I said.
“A man with good brothers is a good man. If they came all this way to see him, they must really care,” Marshall said, tipping his hat as he walked away.
“Yes, that’s true,” I said, looking back toward the house. There was truth to that, of course.
I was going to give Dylan time with his brothers while I made the morning rounds. I did a morning check, making sure that certain things were in place. Checking to see if tools were laid out and properly labeled for the guests to use. Nothing was ever dangerous, but simple and user-friendly.
When I was done making the rounds, I made my way to the porch of the main house. I could see the Dawson brothers were getting ready to leave. I definitely wanted to offer my thanks and see them off.
“Y’all heading out already?”
“Yes, we got to get on the road. It’s a long drive,” Tanner said, putting his hand out for me to shake. I gave it a shake and nodded my head.
“Y’all should definitely stop at Sam’s Burger Joint to get some food to go. It will be worth the wait when you’ve been on the road a few hours and get hungry,” I said. “There are some long stretches of road with nothing on your route, as well.”
“I can vouch for that. Plus, if you’re real nice to the waitress, she’ll fill up your thermos with coffee for the trip,” Dylan said.
“Thank you again for having us, and I’ll be talking to my girl about that project for you when I get home,” Connor said, shaking my hand.
“Yes, please do. I’m very interested,” I said to him, smiling and saying my goodbyes. Then I said goodbye to the eldest brother, Wyatt.
He pulled me in close for a hug which surprised me. Then he whispered, “Take good care of him.” Before I could respond, the hug was over, and he was hugging Dylan. Damn it, they obviously knew that something was going on between us. Those words were
n’t just him telling me as an employer, he was saying it as if I were Dylan’s girlfriend. I didn’t know what to make of that.
“Now, you stay away from those Taylors,” Wyatt said to Dylan.
“I will, I will,” Dylan reluctantly said.
I watched as Dylan hugged his brothers before they descended the stairs and went toward their truck. I looked at Dylan as he watched them with a big smile on his face. Being with his brothers really did make him happy.
“Dylan, you can go with them if you want. Don’t feel like you are obligated to stay the rest of your term here. It might be nice to drive back with company. I don’t hold it against you,” I said.
He turned to me and the smile fell from his face. “I’m not going anywhere, Helen.”
“I’m just saying—you’re going to leave eventually, so why not now?” I said.
“We gonna get into this again?” He said, narrowing his eyes at me.
I sighed and walked into the main house. I was never going to get through to this stubborn cowboy. Why couldn’t he see that this was just a fling? He didn’t even live in this town.
He followed me inside. “Helen. Helen, stop and look at me.”
I stopped and turned toward him. His blue eyes were fierce and full of anger.
“You can’t live life afraid. That’s no life at all,” he said.
“What do you know about being afraid?”
“I’ve been through some tough times. I know what being afraid is like,” he crossed his arms over his chest.
“Do you know what it’s like to say goodbye to someone you are in love with as they leave to go to the store, only to have them never return? That’s what happened to me, Dylan. My husband went to the store and never came back. He got into an accident and didn’t make it. That’s what I’m afraid of. I can’t be in love again. I wouldn’t survive having something like that happen again. You are reckless. You just go off and do whatever you want, without thinking about the dangerous consequences. Those Taylors could have killed you, twice now at least. Yet, you act like it’s nothing. This thing between us can never work. You can stay the rest of the time if you want, but this is nothing but a fling, it’s not love.”
I stomped upstairs to my room and locked the door. Tears flowed down my face. Why was it so painful to say all of that out loud? And why did it feel even more painful to think of him leaving?
Laying down on my bed I stared up at the ceiling. I could hear Dylan’s boots as he paced back and forth in the living room. He was angry. I was angry, and I wasn’t even exactly sure why. Then I heard him come up two or three steps of the stairs.
Part of me yearned for him to bust open the door to my room, but the other half wanted him to leave me be. Then I heard him step back down. His boots echoed as he walked across the wood floors of the living room. The next sound I heard was the screen door slamming.
I had about three hours before the guests were roaming the ranch and starting on activities. So I stayed on my bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering what I had gotten myself into.
33
Dylan
“This cowboy porridge is delicious, Eddie. Definitely keep that one on the menu,” I said, savoring a bite of the hot porridge.
“I have to agree with that. What would you like us to sample next?” Helen asked.
“I’ve got some meat pies, very simple, and what would have been taken on the cattle drives,” Eddie said, walking back to the outdoor kitchen area.
Helen and I smiled at each other. We were trying out new dishes that Eddie had put together. This was for the future changes at the ranch, for the traditional transition. Eddie was even talking about hosting an outdoor cooking class, teaching some of these traditional cowboy fare dishes. Helen thought that was a great idea, and I agreed. She was beaming as we tried all of the food and I could tell that this transition project was making her very happy. I was glad to see her smiling again. There had been a strain between us ever since the day my brothers left. We hadn’t so much as kissed. She had pulled away from me—again. This woman was back and forth with my heart and it kept me on my toes. I never knew what I was going to get with her. But I wasn’t going to stop trying. I was practicing patience.
When we were done trying out all of the meals and giving Eddie our feedback, we took a walk around the ranch, just Helen and me.
It was a bittersweet walk, because I was leaving the next day. Heading back to Safety, Texas. Helen and I walked side-by-side in silence, but I could feel the tension between us. It was everything that had been left unsaid.
“What will you do when you get back?” She asked, finally breaking the silence.
“Get to work. We each have our own responsibilities, and my brothers have been splitting up mine between them. So I’ll have to pick up the slack of what has been put on the back burner. I’ll have a lot to catch up on, especially the books. I help with the accounts,” I said, looking off in the distance at the pasture. The horses were out there grazing. It made me think about the time that her horse ran away and I rescued her, our first kiss.
“That sounds like you have a lot of work cut out for you. That will be good for you, and keep you out of trouble,” she teased.
“Seems that nothing can keep me out of trouble these days,” I grinned.
“So I have learned,” she said.
Then we were quiet again as we walked down the trails between the brush. These were the trails that the horses took the visitors on. There were no guests at the ranch on the weekdays, and today was no different.
Suddenly, Helen stopped, and looked at me. “Dylan, I want to thank you. You have really helped me in more ways than one. And I don’t just mean your help around the ranch.”
“I’m happy that I could help.”
“Please, let me finish. It’s not just about helping get the ranch back on track. It’s about me. You being here changed a lot for me. The ranch did need a transition, but so did I. You helped me get past some things that I didn’t think I’d be able to. Thank you for that.”
I smiled. “You’re welcome.” I wanted to tell her that I loved her again. I wanted to profess my love and tell her that I didn’t want to leave—ever. But the first time I tried that she didn’t take it well. So I knew better this time and I kept my mouth closed. I didn’t want to spend the little time I had left with her not speaking.
“Want to help me bring in the horses one last time?”
“Absolutely.”
We walked to the stables and saddled two horses. Then we rode out to the pasture and herded the horses back toward the corral. We had fun with it, taking our time and being a little bit silly. I didn’t want this to end.
I was really happy to hear that I’d had a positive effect on her. When I first saw her at the livestock show and rodeo, there was such sadness in her eyes. She seemed to be a little bit broken. Now there was a glow to her, a happiness. It made me damn proud that I was the one that helped get her there. But why didn’t she see that I could give her even more happiness if she would just open herself up to me?
I wanted to give her so much more. I’d give her the world if only she’d let me. But I knew that my problems with the Taylors did not work in my favor. That only made things worse, even though it was for a good cause. After she told me about being scared of love because she was afraid to love someone and lose them, I realized why my reckless behavior scared her. But I could change. For her I would. I was already better than I had been in my younger years.
“You got the gate?” she asked, riding over on her horse.
“Yeah, got it,” I jumped off my mount and closed the gate to the corral. She smiled a big smile at me.
“Back to the stables with these two. Then I can get started on dinner,” she said.
“Yeah, I’m right behind you,” I said. She pushed her horse into a gallop back to the stables. I watched her, enjoying the view, since it would be the last time I saw it for some time. I was leaving the next day, but I hoped that by
then she would ask me to come back. I did have to leave and get back home. I couldn’t leave my brothers with all that work. For now, it was a necessity.
Later we ate dinner together and the sun started to set. The day was over, and I would be leaving tomorrow, heading across the state of Texas, back to my home. I was conflicted the entire day. Half of me wanted to profess my love at every moment and hope that she would give me a chance. I knew it was a long-distance, but we could work something out eventually. But I wanted to know that she wanted me back here. The other half of me knew to stay quiet because I didn’t want to send her into being angry with me and stomping off to lock herself in her bedroom. That would completely ruin our last day together. I just wanted to be with her.
“I guess it’s my last night sleeping in the bunkhouse,” I said, as I helped her clear the table in her kitchen.
“No. Last night was your last night in the bunkhouse.”
“What, are you kicking me out early?”
“No. Tonight you are staying with me,” she said.
“I am?”
She didn’t answer. Instead, she raised her brows at me and walked into the living room. I wasn’t going to argue with that. Her walk was seductive and sexy. She was letting me back in.
I followed her as she climbed the stairs, and I was surprised that she was once again going to allow me to sleep in her bedroom. How could I be making such progress, yet still be shut out by her? It was baffling to me. But I wasn’t going to let that get in the way of touching her all night.
At the top of the stairs, I pulled her into my arms and kissed her. It was a bittersweet kiss full of longing, knowing that it was going to be our last night together.
I made love to her all night. I never wanted to stop.
34
Helen
I woke up with Dylan’s strong arms wrapped around me. I really did feel like a new woman. I hadn’t lied about that when I told him. Dylan had changed me in more ways than one, and I couldn’t thank him enough. But I knew today was necessary. He needed to leave and go back home. We needed to separate and go on with our lives in different directions. He was too young for me, and he needed to see that. I hoped that being away from me would show him that I was right about this. As much as I cared about him and had deep feelings for him, I could not allow him to stay. This was just supposed to be a secret fling and nothing more. I needed to be strong and hold on to that notion, no matter how much my feelings were telling me the opposite. No matter how making love to him knowing it would be the last time, nearly broke my heart.
