by Angel Payne
She attempted an empathic smile while moving out to the railing. It faded as she neared him. His bitterness was a thin front for the loneliness that palpably rolled off of him, jerking hard at the center of her chest. Too bad he wouldn’t be on the island long enough to know that “magic” wasn’t a word one tossed around so casually on Kauaˋi—in the good and bad ways. She’d experienced enough of both to know.
“When my parents were still alive and the B and B was running, we’d sometimes have movie stars who came to stay.” She relayed it while gazing over the Franzens’ little garden, with the gate to the beach path decorated with hand-painted pictures from the kids through the years. The flagstone trail led between two dunes to the ocean, full of azure tranquility today. “You look at me like Leo used to gawk at the celebrities. Like I’m not real. It gets worse when I stand a certain way. It gets really bad when I yell at you.”
He stunned her by setting a laugh free. “Yeah. That makes sense.” The next moment, he grimaced again. The look hardened before he stalked away a couple of steps. “My beauty always loved yelling at me.”
Lani chose respectful silence once more, though the restraint was agonizing. The sight of his spine, so stiff in his inner struggle, made her long to run and press herself there, wrapping as much of her comfort around him as she could. She yearned to pull his grief out of him if only for a little while…
When she teetered on giving into the impulse, he turned around. He’d pulled out his phone and swiped the screen as he walked back over. Without a word, he set it down on the table, exposing the home picture.
Lani gasped.
With the exception of the dyed streaks in her hair and the enviable figure with the lithe legs, the woman could be her sister. The photo’s smiling subject even had luminous, near-silver eyes.
“Sorry,” he murmured. “Guess I haven’t been subtle with the oh-god-a-ghost gawks, though maybe you understand now.”
“Just a little.” She didn’t pull back on the sarcasm. “This is…a little weird.”
“You think?” His matching irony brought a surprising dose of comfort. “I hope this also explains why I went all John McClane on Kell the other morning.”
She slanted him a wry smirk. “While Kellan is as hot as Alan Rickman, it’s understandable.”
He blinked at her. “You know I have to officially fall down and worship you now. You actually got the Die Hard reference.”
“Duh. I live with a sixteen-year-old male. Besides”—she lifted her brows expectantly—“at the risk of being dork fangirl at large, that movie has Alan Rickman.”
He grimaced again, this time in a way that made her giggle. “Really? He was always the bad guy.”
“Watch it! Snape was not the bad guy.”
Their moment of humored relief was just that, a moment. His mien descended back into grim territory before he muttered, “And you’re a Hogwarts fan too. Figures.”
Change of subject, take two.
She hitched herself up onto the lanai rail, straddled it, and leaned against the support post. She’d worn a full ankle-length skirt for her errands, so the fabric made it possible to reclaim her regular spot from the days she used to hang out here to watch the sunset with the Franzen kids. “All right, you’ve got the four-one-one on where I just was. Where were you today, Sergeant Bommer?”
He kept up the scowl, though his eyes began to smile again. “We’ve traded McClane and Potter references, Hokulani. I’m just Tait from now on, okay?”
“Fair enough.” She let a little smile sneak across her lips too. “But you still haven’t answered my question.”
He dipped his head in a semiknightly bow. “I was at the esteemed Kekaha Boys Academy.”
The smile dissolved. She nearly fell off the railing. “Leo’s school? Why?”
“There was a fencing match today.”
“I know. The match he ordered me not to attend, to the point of threatening to fake malaria if I did.”
He shrugged. “Don’t take it personally. He was having heebs about the match. The only reason I got an invite was because of the strategy we discussed during yesterday’s ride. He went up against some Dursley who’s been antagonizing him.”
“Parker Smythe,” she supplied. “Though Dursley would be a great surname for the kid.” She wished his tribute to the boy wizard’s world, even the scheming bully from it, made her feel better about referencing Leo’s nemesis.
“Yeah, him.” A full smile finally took over the man’s face. At the same time, the sun broke into the lanai, highlighting every mesmerizing curve of his mouth. “The strategy worked, by the way. Leo won. You know, he’s really good.”
“So his coach tells me.” She tossed a perturbed glance. “But as mentioned, the brat threatens to disown me if I show up at any of his matches.”
He slipped a roguish quirk over his grin. As if he needed any help making those lips more enticing. “That’s because Kalea is usually there too.”
“Kalea? His little friend from the rec center social nights? Ohhhh, how nice. She’s so sweet and— What?” She fired the question in response to the way he scratched his temple and pursed his lips, holding in a laugh. “What?”
“Errrmm…she’s not such a sweet little friend anymore.”
She jolted to an upright position—though wasn’t sure she was ready to fire her next words. “What do you mean?”
He folded his arms with unnerving calm. “I mean that after we got off the horses yesterday, the kid wanted to talk about condom choices.”
She fell back against the pole. “Oh, my God.”
“Chill out; it’s okay. It was handled.”
She widened her eyes again. “Handled? The condoms?”
“No. The talk.”
“So you just talked to him about condoms?”
“Well, yeah…among other things. I gave him a bunch of pretty heavy shit to think about. Manhood. Accountability. The responsibility of being a girl’s first lover.”
“Ohhhh, God.” She planted her head in her hand. He did not help her tension by laughing again.
“Lani. It’s okay. He’s a bright kid. He got the message. I’m fairly sure you won’t be encountering a stampede of Trojans in his drawer for a few more years to come.”
She swung her gaze out toward the water. Though the sunset wouldn’t be in full bloom for several hours, the rays on the water, brilliant orange and amber upon the cobalt waves, were a welcome soother for her whirling thoughts. “Mahalo,” she finally murmured. “Thank you…for being there for him.” She threw over another sarcastic smile. “Can’t say I appreciate the image of finding condoms in my little brother’s room, but I’m still really grateful.”
He lowered his arms and braced his hands on the back of a patio chair. “I’m probably the one who should be thanking you, missy.”
“Huh?”
He hitched a fast shrug. “I wasn’t the most lined-up guy when we first got here. But Leo’s been good medicine.” His features grew reflective as the wind kicked up, tugging at the edges of his hair. “Actually, with the exception of the night I barely remember and that crap-fest of a hangover, the last five days have been great therapy.”
Warmth surged through her chest, even gathering a little behind her eyes. She climbed off the rail, rushed over, and pulled Tait into a hug before she could talk herself out of it. “I’m glad,” she rasped into his shoulder, which smelled so clean and masculine, like cedar-infused soap.
“Me too.” She felt the words, equally sincere, vibrate through him. To her ongoing surprise, he returned her embrace, swathing her in strength that was so like Kellan’s but heat that was different too. Kellan was a volcano explosion, searing and intense; Tait was like magma, forceful and fierce…and demanding permanency. And making it so tempting to accept.
She was in trouble. Her heart fast-forwarded by at least ten beats. Her muscles softened against him. And other places in her body, those intimate and secret places, puddled with hot, enlivened need.
&n
bsp; Stupid move, Hokulani. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
So why did it continue to feel like one of the best things she’d done in her life?
He finally pulled away, though kept his head dipped so she met his gaze through the fringe of his sinfully long lashes. Could this ordeal get any harder?
“For the record, what’s going down between you and Kell is solely between you two. It’s none of my business—never should have been. You can thank Leo for that too. He’s got a damn good head on his shoulders. If even half that sense comes from you, then I’m going to trust that you’re okay with your Slash-olate chip cookie.”
She gave him her first gut reaction, an incredulous giggle. “My what?”
The ends of his lips curled up. “Come on. You know what a Slash-olate chip cookie is. A tasty nibble for a while, but no way in hell will he stick around to be the whole meal.”
Her mirth faded. The crack should have pissed her off. Yeah, she wanted to be angry, not struggling against the sadness that filled her heart, instead. “Who says I have room for a ‘meal,’ Sergeant?”
His eyes darkened to dark bronze as she called him by rank again. The rest of his face went taut too. He’d gotten her firm message, which should’ve made her feel better but dipped her deeper into frustration. Nothing she could do now; the damage was delivered. She steeled herself for the “T-Bomb” he’d pull out of his personality missile silo in retaliation.
His actual reaction was more devastating.
His heavy sigh delivered the first shock. It did nothing to prepare her for what she confronted in his stare, fixed on her with unalterable focus.
A sadness as profound as her own.
“You deserve the whole meal, Lani.” He brushed a strand of hair off her face, tucking it behind her ear. His murmur was as musical as the waves against the sand. “And yeah, I know what I’m talking about. Leo and I haven’t only been discussing horses, swords, and condoms.”
“Aue.” The mutter left her on a shaky rasp. It did nothing to allay the frantic thunder of her heartbeat at the base of her throat. “What the hell has he said?”
“Nothing that didn’t stem out of his love.” He let his fingers slip down, trailing rich warmth on her skin, until they rested in the dip between her throat and collarbone. “And nothing I don’t agree with. You’ve had to be so strong for so long. Don’t you see? Someone should be serving you steak and lobster every day, making you smile every minute.”
Ohhhhh, hell.
Her senses swirled. Her body swayed. She steadied herself by grabbing his free hand. His fingers, long and steady beneath hers, were the anchor she needed to form her reply.
“I know you mean that. I can even feel how you do.” She squeezed him tighter. “But steak and lobster isn’t as easy as that. If it was, it wouldn’t be special.” She let her lips lift a little. “I was lucky to see that version of special until the day my parents died. They were smart enough to enjoy every bite of their steak and lobster. And the truth is, watching them all those years, seeing how happy they made each other, made me vow I wouldn’t accept anything less for my life.”
The corners of his eyes tightened in curiosity. “Even after the plane went down?”
“Especially then.” Surprise jolted her again. “Leo even told you about that?”
“The kid’s a real Chatty Cathy when he wants to be. But I’ll deny it if you tell him I gave up his game.”
“Your secret’s safe. But I’m still perplexed. Leo’s always been so shut off about all that. It hurts him to talk about it.”
He skimmed his hand back up to her nape, releasing her to bracket the other side too. “You sure about that?”
She twisted her lips. “What does that mean?”
“Okay, rephrase. You sure it hurts him to talk about it?”
He didn’t back down from the statement, sweeping his strong thumbs to her cheeks, cranking up the force of his gaze. His eyes became a gold-drenched x-ray on her soul, exposing her truths like hairline fractures, only with more pain. It hurt. Too much.
She yanked away from him and stalked back into the house. “Weren’t you in the middle of telling me how you’re going to mind your own business from now on?”
“Something like that.” He followed her at a leisurely stroll, goading her annoyance all over again. “Back before you talked about yearning for steak and lobster but are okay settling for cookie crumbs.”
She spun a glare at him. “Says the guy who’s become the booze industry’s patron saint over the last six months.”
“And fooled most of the world while doing it.” His gaze didn’t flinch. “Which makes me a unique expert in the ways people cover up their pain and loneliness.”
She tucked in her chin and cocked her brows. “I’m not lonely, Tait. I’m busy. There’s a heartless bastard who wants to buy my childhood home out from under me. At the same time, I’m trying to keep the place running while playing mother, father, and big sister to a teenager who loves me one day then hates me the next.” She jabbed both her thumbs backward at her shoulders. “In case you haven’t noticed, the space up here is packed these days.”
At first, all he did was pull in one slow breath and let it out with equal measure. Damn it, the man’s serenity tapped its bottomless source as he made his way back to her with deliberate steps. Or maybe he was siphoning his self-control off hers. As he came closer on those endless legs, looming larger by the second, she couldn’t feel anything but the nettles that had been her nerves and the thunderstorm that had been her heartbeat.
Both sensations worsened as he raised his hands and framed her face again. Gods, it felt more wonderful than before. His torrid lava touch infused every inch of her limbs. Her lungs began to ache from holding her breath, working in concert with the soul that never wanted this moment to end. Just when she thought they’d burst from the effort, he slid his hold down, across the tops of her shoulders, until he grasped her by the crests of both arms.
“So that load feels pretty good, hmm?”
Yeah. It was official. He was leeching his composure straight off hers. “Wh-What the hell does that mean?” she managed. “Were you listening to anything I just said? You think I like all this pressure?”
He turned his hands over to brush her skin with his knuckles. “I haven’t known you long enough to even guess at everything you ‘like,’ dreamgirl. But my job requires observing a lot about people in a very little amount of time, and I know what the stiffness in these shoulders tells me.” He raised his gaze, amping it to x-ray intensity again. “I know what the shadows at the back of your eyes tell me.”
“Oh?” She cocked her head, making a stab at an open challenge. “Enlighten me, Mr. Peabody.”
He tilted his own head, matching her angle so their stares met again. “I think the weight has become so normal for you that giving it up would be strange…even terrifying. It’s like the big silver dome on your food tray, keeping everything and everyone out, because it’s safer that way. Nothing to feel, nothing to get rotten…nothing to get hurt.”
His hands never left her shoulders, but it felt like he’d punched her in the gut. “Stop it,” she whispered.
Her protest went unnoticed. “But when nothing gets in, nothing gets out, either. Underneath the dome, you’re wilting, aren’t you? You’re needing, wanting, begging for something more.”
Okay, now she needed to get furious. The ignition for the rage was there; she felt it burning through her chest and the base of her throat—only when the heat rose, it turned to liquid. She glared at him through the tears. “You have no right,” she rasped. “I’m not Luna, and you have no right!”
He didn’t drop his hands. But his head flinched as if she’d thrown a physical blow. The sun, dipping lower, filtered its way in to flow across his face, so classic, carved, strong…
So wanting.
Don’t. Don’t want me. Please.
“Yeah,” he finally uttered. “You’re right.” He pulled away slowly and gave an
apologetic shrug. “Guess I overstepped again.”
“It’s all right.”
“I know. And thanks. But before you turn and stomp your sweet ass out of here, let me set something straight. Even if God had cloned you after fucking Orphan Annie, I’d have said exactly what I did. The fact that you’ve got those eyes and that hair and that body—yeah, it’s damn nice—but that’s where Luna stops and you begin. And I’m sorry if the other night, and the grey geese soaring in my head, led you to think that I’m not wise enough to know the difference.”
She folded her arms and threw out a shrug of her own. “You’re not an idiot, Tait, nor did I ever think you were. You’re serving under Franzen, and he’s a picky koa when it comes to the guys on his team.”
Like a morning swell on the waves, an answering smile rolled beneath his lips. “Damn. You’re one of a kind, woman. And yeah, if Luna were alive today, I’m sure she’d like you too.”
She blushed and punched his shoulder in retaliation for it. “You still barely know me.”
He pointed a couple of fingers back at his chest. “The guy who has to add people up fast for a living, remember? Also the guy who’s spent a shitload of time with a brother who can’t stop talking about you and will be eating something besides chips and salsa tonight because of you.”
She narrowed her eyes at him in blatant skepticism, though the three bags of tortilla chips on the kitchen counter declared his statement more true than she’d like.
Tait leaned against the back of the couch before continuing on, with warmth suffusing his face, “I know you two would’ve been good friends. You’d balance out her pragmatism with your spirituality. You’d show her a woman can be just as powerful in flip-flops as stilettos. She loved creating art to make the world more beautiful, but you see the world as art already.” He paused, cocking his head once more to deeply study her. “Yet in many ways, you’re exactly like her. And for seeing all of that, I can’t and won’t apologize.”
Lani shifted again. Don’t ask it. Don’t ask it. “In many ways…like what?”
He straightened his gaze, sure and steady about it. “In your soul,” he answered. “In the fire of it, the unfaltering conviction of it. The way you’ll fight for what it knows to be right, no matter how dangerous the fallout is for you. The beauty it gives to your complete bravery.”
