She took another trembling breath. “No, well, the worst of it is during my period, which is now so heavy, I’m filling up an overnight-size pad almost every hour. It’s too painful to even try using tampons. Besides that, I’m having aches and pains almost all month, not just during my period or just before it.” She started crying again. Steady streams of tears rolled down her now puffy face.
“This is all in the last few months?”
She wiped her nose with the tissue and nodded. “I’ve always had painful periods but, in the last few months, it’s become worse.”
“You skipped your last birth control shot appointment. Does that mean you and Prince Alexander have begun trying for a child?”
Rebecca blew out a breath. “Yes, and I know I can count on your discretion with that. You’d mentioned that the shot takes time to wear off, and we didn’t want to wait too long. I just didn’t want to be obviously pregnant at the wedding, but I wouldn’t have minded being a few months along. Now I’m worried it may not happen at all.”
“It’s easy to jump to worse-case scenarios, and I will go over those with you. For now, however, let’s just go through some more questions. You said you’ve been having trouble with tampons, but what about sex? Is that painful as well?”
She bit her bottom lip and nodded. She’d feigned exhaustion quite a bit recently, but she couldn’t keep that up for too much longer. Especially not after she broke down in Alex’s arms last night. He was confused by her actions and would only put up with it for so long before he demanded an answer.
“First things first. I’ll need to do an exam, would that be all right?”
“I don’t want anyone to know.”
“I can understand that, believe me, but I’ll need to do an exam, take some blood, and I’ll probably do an ultrasound, too, just to get some more information. Would you prefer to do this at the palace?”
“No,” Rebecca said quickly. “I don’t want the royal doctor knowing. He’s very nice and all, but I’d feel more comfortable discussing this with you. You were my doctor long before Alex and I got together.”
“I could speak to the royal doctor and ask permission to see you at the palace, if that would make you more comfortable.”
Rebecca shook her head. “It would raise suspicion. I’m working on some projects here at the hospital, and I’ll be coming and going for the next few weeks. It would be less obvious to be seen here.”
Dr. Safar nodded. “Understood. You should know that, once you and Prince Alexander became engaged, myself and my whole staff – from nurses to night janitorial staff – all signed very strict confidentiality agreements, not to mention the strict laws that already exist to govern medical information. This is a safe place for you.”
“Thank you.”
Dr. Safar nodded. “Good. I’ve got an exam room just next door. Give me a minute to set it up and leave a gown for you, and then we’ll see what’s what.”
When Rebecca nodded, Dr. Safar stood up and whirled toward her door and disappeared.
About fifteen minutes later, Rebecca was laying back on a padded exam table, her feet in stirrups and her legs spread wide. Rebecca winced during the exam, her hands clenching tight.
She wondered once again what the pain in her body was telling her.
“All right, you can sit up.”
Rebecca scooted back up the table, and covered herself with the feeble paper gown.
After the doctor tossed her gloves and washed her hands, she took a seat in the only chair in the exam room. “Have you tried any over-the-counter medications to help with the pain?”
Rebecca nodded and listed them all. “None of those work anymore. I can barely move during my period, and I get so dizzy and feel completely out of it. I’m practically bedridden the first few days of my period, which is not conducive when you have an amorous fiancé and royal duties to see to.”
Dr. Safar nodded, her brows furrowed. “Then I’m going to write you a prescription for some pain medication, just to last you until we figure it out.”
“Do you have anything in the office? I’d rather avoid a prescription with my name on it.”
“I see. Let me look when we’re done here, and we’ll go from there.”
“What do you think this is?”
“I think it could be any number of things. From something more complicated like endometriosis, or fibroids or ovarian cysts, but it could also be something simpler like a hormone imbalance. I’m going to take some blood, and schedule you for a transvaginal ultrasound. I’ll do an external ultrasound as well.”
She nodded and took a deep breath, bracing herself to ask her fear. “Do you think this could affect my fertility?” Rebecca was so afraid, so completely and utterly terrified that she wouldn’t be able to have a child.
What would that mean for her and Alex?
And Valleria?
And her future?
And her body?
Terrified. Unbelievably fucking terrified.
“I know it’ll be difficult, but don’t think about that, okay? Let’s wait until we get some more information, then we’ll know how to proceed. My advice? Take a deep breath, and let someone else in, if you haven’t already. You don’t have to suffer through this alone.”
She fleetingly thought about telling Alex for the umpteenth time, then shook her head, deciding against it. “I can’t. Not yet.”
“Then take your own advice.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you’re not telling anyone because, in part, you don’t want to torture them with worry, am I right? Then don’t torture yourself with ‘what-ifs’ until you know more, either. Whatever happens, I’ll be here to guide you through, and so will your family and the man who very clearly adores you and worships the ground upon which you walk.”
Rebecca’s lips curved into a wobbly smile. Alex did love her. Her smile dimmed, however, when her mind wandered to those ‘what-ifs’.
What if Cat or the other royal siblings weren’t comfortable raising an heir? Would Alex then be forced to choose between marrying her and marrying a woman who could give him a child? What if he chose his duty to crown and country over her? She understood duty and, even though she could understand why he’d make that choice in her head, she knew her heart would never recover from the loss of him.
“No negative thoughts,” Dr. Safar warned. “None. You need to stay as relaxed as possible and as positive as you can be.”
“I’ll do my best.”
“Good, then let’s take some blood and schedule you for the ultrasounds.”
Later that evening, Rebecca didn’t have to feign exhaustion. Crying always took a lot out of her; for once, she was glad of it. If she could fall into a dreamless sleep because of it, she might try it again tomorrow.
Though she had a feeling she wouldn’t need to try very hard to cry at this situation.
Alex worried over her. Though her puffy face had returned to normal, Alex could tell whenever Rebecca had been crying.
He could always tell everything when it came to her.
Well, everything except the reason for her tears.
So, she lied to her love again and told him that everything was fine. It was just wedding stress and Cat’s situation, that was all.
She still cuddled into him at night, and he still enveloped her in his broad, toned arms.
If she couldn’t conceive, and he did decide to let her go, she was going to cherish the time they had left.
Positive thoughts, she reminded herself, and fell asleep dreaming of her and Alex at eighty years old, with grandchildren running all around them.
She only hoped it would be more than just a dream.
Chapter Nine
While Rebecca was off at the hospital, Cat had finished up her brief appearance. The media had asked relentlessly about a threat against the royal family, but her statement and practiced, plastered smile seemed to appease them.
The public knew nothing of the threat.<
br />
Nothing of the sick bastard that was behind this.
Nothing about the other high society individuals involved.
She hated lying to the people; sometimes, however, it couldn’t be helped.
Now she was in a car alone with Edward, him in the driver’s seat, her on the passenger side. “Your bandages are gone.”
Edward nodded. “There are people at the safe house who’d worry if they saw the bandages. My injuries were pretty minor anyway.”
“What people?”
“I’ll tell you later.”
“Edward.”
“Later, okay?”
Cat begrudgingly nodded, then glanced around, both inside and outside of the car. “Where are the other agents?”
“There aren’t any.”
Her mouth fell open. “What? Why?”
“To keep your location a secret, no other agents were apprised of your location. I have some men I trust already at the safe house, who will back us up.”
“I still don’t understand. I don’t believe that Marcello would agree to this.”
“Do you trust me?”
Trust was hard to come by in a world where her life was in danger by an unknown threat. She studied the man who was her protector, while he eased the car into gear and began driving out of the building’s underground parking and through Valentia. His lean, angular face was hard, his long fingers stiff on the wheel and the stick shift. His lips – the same lips that had been deceptively soft yet passionate against hers – were now pursed in muted anger. Was he mad at her or the situation? Likely both.
“I trust you, Edward,” she said softly. “I know you’ll take care of me and keep me safe.”
They neared the outskirts of town, and he reached over to take her hand. “Always, My Lady.” He kissed her palm before he let go, leaving her with a very pleasurable tingling sensation that traveled from her hand straight to the core of her. “Always.”
She let out a breath and stared out the windshield as the city faded away into the countryside beyond. The lush spring green of grass and fields bloomed in vibrant color. Vineyards carpeted some fields, while others swayed with growing lavender, the official flower of Valleria.
“Do my parents and siblings know where I’m going?”
“Your parents, yes, but not all your siblings. Princes Marcello and Alexander know, but that’s it.”
“And you’ll be with me the whole time?”
“Yes, My Lady.”
She had to ask, needed to know. “Are you calling me ‘My Lady’ because I’m a princess sitting next to you, or because I’m the woman you want?”
He picked up her hand again and twined it with his. “I’m calling you that because you’re mine. Mine to protect and keep safe.”
“But not your woman.”
“Catharine,” he murmured, but didn’t let go of her hand.
Feeling a small spark of hope, she tried to fan the flames. “Couldn’t I be yours? Couldn’t we belong to each other?”
He flinched. “We could, but that doesn’t mean we should. We’ve discussed this.”
“You discussed this.”
“Catharine, you’re not thinking straight.”
She pulled her hand away from his and crossed her arms over her chest. “I am, too, thinking straight. Do you imagine me some flighty female who doesn’t know her own mind, or her own heart?”
“I know you’re not that type of woman. I’m saying you don’t really know the type of man I am. You don’t know me, and you’ve never asked to know me. You’ve demanded my lips and my body, but nothing else.”
Cat’s mouth dropped open to speak, but nothing came out.
He was right.
“I’ve never just wanted your body. Besides which, you kissed me back often enough. I wasn’t the only one demanding something physical.”
“Because no straight man in his right mind would turn you away. Jesus, you’re one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever met.” He shook his head. “Only an idiot would say no to you.”
Wow. That was one of the nicest things Cat had ever heard. “Thank you.” She bit her lip, and her arms relaxed. “Only one of the most beautiful women you’ve met?”
Edward burst out laughing; the sound was so deep and resonant, and just miraculous, she couldn’t stop staring. She felt as though a warm, cozy blanket had been tucked around her. “I knew you were going to ask that.” Still chuckling, he continued, “Don’t worry. I’m related to the other women in my life, so you’re definitely in a league by yourself.”
Cat perked up. “Well, that’s all right then.” Edward just shook his head and chuckled again. “You mentioned once you had sisters. I’m guessing you mean them?”
“Yes. Two sisters. One, Lisette, is married and has three daughters. The other, Bianca, is studying in Italy this semester.” He sounded almost wistful.
“You sound you like you miss them. Will you have a chance to see them soon?”
“Sooner than you think,” he muttered.
“What do you mean?”
“The safe house we’re going to is actually my family’s home. Lisette lives there with her husband, Blake, and their daughters.”
“What?” His sister? “Is she in danger? What about your nieces? Are they in danger?”
“I would never put you or my family in danger, not ever,” he said fervently. “I talked it over with Marcello and he agreed. No one would suspect it, and the house is secure.”
“Does Lisette know about me?”
“She’s been briefed.”
“No, Edward. Not the threat. Does she know about you and me?”
“I don’t know that there’s anything to tell.”
She felt a tightening in her chest she didn’t think was possible. “You’re more to me than just a warm body, or a bodyguard, Edward,” she said softly. “You were right to say that I don’t know you, or all of the details that made you who you are. But you’re wrong to say that I don’t know you at all.”
She reached over and brushed the back of her fingers across his cheek, his scruffy beard scratching her soft skin. He sucked in a breath, and let it out slowly as she spoke. “I know you’re very kind and extremely loyal. I know you’ll do anything in your power to protect me and keep me safe. I know your lips could be classified as instruments of torture.”
His mouth tipped up. “Torture?”
“They drive me crazy. I can’t help but want you, Edward. You’ve taken care of me for the last two years. You’ve been there, through all the good times and the bad.”
“I haven’t, though.”
“You have.”
“I didn’t travel with you to England several months ago. You and Lady Grace could have been killed.”
They could have been, but they weren’t. “It turned out fine. You can’t be with me twenty-four hours a day. You had another assignment.”
“I didn’t have another assignment. I was with my sister. She’d just had her youngest child, and she’d had complications at the birth. Once we knew they’d both be fine, I couldn’t help but think about you from time to time. Then I heard what happened and wondered if I’d been able to help had I been there.”
More sweet. Yes, he was definitely one of the kindest men she’d known. “Your family needed you. And, take it from me, thinking about ‘what ifs’ never helps anyone.” She paused. “I thought about you in England.”
His body stiffened, except for his hands on the wheel.
“I’ve always felt safe with you, and I didn’t feel safe in England for a while, neither did Grace. I’m not saying that to upset you or infer that you should have been there; you deserve a life of your own. I’m saying it because it’s how I felt. I did wonder, however, that if you had been there, you could have helped put Grace’s mind at ease.”
“I think only your brother could have done that.”
Cat grinned; Grace and Marcello were deeply in love. “I think you might be right.”
“Yo
u really thought about me?”
Her hand continued to brush his cheek. “Yes. It seems I can’t stop.”
He brought the hand brushing his cheek to his lips, then held it against his thigh. “You’re a princess.”
“I know.”
“Second in line to the throne.”
“I know.”
“Your mother wants you engaged, and soon.”
“I know.”
“I am not a prince.”
“But you could be my prince.”
He spoke her name on a tortured groan. “There’s too much against us.”
“Only if we let it be.”
“You don’t know me. I have a past, and it’s not pretty. You deserve pretty.”
“I deserve a man who makes me feel safe, protected, and loved.”
“What about Philip?” he asked, saying the man’s name with distaste. “Your mother may think him a more appropriate fiancé for you.”
“She might. Do you know that I’d even considered approaching Philip about faking an engagement?”
“What?” Edward shook his head. “That’s a fucked up plan. You shouldn’t do it.”
“I know, that’s why I decided against it.”
“That’s not the only reason. Philip is an asshole.”
“Edward.”
“It’s true. I’ve been investigating him. He’s no good.”
“Edward!”
“You want me to tell you who he really is, just say the word.”
Cat didn’t want to hear about Philip right now. “I’d rather hear about you, and who you really are.”
His hand tightened almost painfully around hers. “Catharine.”
“Will you tell me? I know you’ll be working to keep me safe, but will you take some time with me? I know you’ll see what I see. I know you’ll see that we could be good together, if you just gave us a shot.”
She squeezed his hand. “Would it be such a chore to be engaged to me? Spend a life with me?”
His forehead furrowed. “You know that’s not what I’m saying.”
“Then why can’t we try?”
Edward sighed. “Do you always get what you want, My Lady?”
“When it matters.”
He sounded almost tortured when he spoke. “Do I matter?”
Catharine & Edward Page 10
