She huffed a bit, running a shaking hand through her hair. “What bothers me? Seriously? You’re one of those crazy people who literally run into danger and…do stuff!”
“Yeah. That’s sort of the whole point of the Army, isn’t it?” he teased.
“No!” she snapped, then closed her eyes and shook her head slightly. “Okay, yes. But….” She stumbled for a moment, then opened her eyes. “My father was a Navy SEAL, Zeke.”
“Yeah. I know that. So you understand…”
She sliced her hand through the air, cutting him off. “I understand that you put yourself in grave danger whenever you go out into the world.”
“Yes. But we’re well trained, honey. We don’t go in blind either. There’s a lot of technology that helps us stay safe.”
She started pacing. “That’s probably true, Zeke. But here’s the problem.” She gripped the back of her big club chair, her knuckles turning white. “I’m in love with you,” she whispered, closing her eyes and her body seemed to bow with the release of her admission. “I’m so madly in love with you and…and now I find out…” she stopped, the tears escaping from her closed eyes.
Zeke didn’t hesitate this time. He stepped forward and pulled her into his arms. “It’s okay, honey. I’m in love with you too.” He rubbed his hand up and down her back, feeling her arms move around his waist. “Marry me, Abby,” he urged when she pressed her whole body against him. “I know that we’ve been together for only a few weeks, but I know that you’re the woman I’ve been waiting for. You’re the one. And I’m the one for you too. I know it. I can feel it when you give yourself to me.”
“Yes,” she whispered. “You’re the one for me.” But she pulled back, slipping out of his arms and Zeke knew a moment of panic. “I love you so damn much but…I can’t marry you!”
“You love me,” he repeated with vehemence.
“Yes. I do. And I don’t think I’ll ever not love you, Zeke.” She wiped at her cheeks with the back of her hand. “I love you so much, but my father…” she hiccupped as the memories came flooding back. “He was so big and strong and brave and he never hesitated to dive head first into dangerous situations.” She sobbed, curling her arms around her stomach as she sat down on the sofa. “He was my hero, Zeke. He was so wonderful. But he would disappear.” She looked up at him. “He’d just disappear and we wouldn’t know where he was or what he was doing. We’d never know when his team would be coming back, or even if they would come back.”
He bent down, looking into her eyes. “I’ll always come back to you, Abby.”
She smiled weakly through her tears, reaching out to cup his cheek. “You can’t promise me that, Zeke.”
He knew that was true, but he didn’t like that reality. “Abby, we’re good together. We love each other!”
“I do!” she gasped, nodding her head. The tears were coming so fast and furiously, they dripped onto her knees. “I love you so much!”
“Then don’t do this!”
“I have to! I can’t…be with you. When my father died, it nearly killed my mother. And I was devastated. I can’t go through that kind of pain again.”
Zeke stared at her, shaking his head as he stood up. “We’re not over. This isn’t over between us,” he told her, pointing his finger at the carpet between them. “I’m not giving up on you, Abby. But I’m going now. I’m going to give you a bit of space.” He stepped closer and she shrank back. Zeke ignored her body language and went with his gut now. “We’re not over!” and he kissed her. It was a hard, brief kiss, but he pulled back and walked out.
Chapter 9
Abby had no idea how she made it through the week. By Friday evening, she could barely drag herself into her apartment and close the door. But that was as far as she made it. Instead of sitting on the sofa, she slid down against the closed door of her apartment and…sobbed. She’d cried so much over the past few days that the skin around her eyes was raw. Cathy had asked about her red eyes that first day, but Abby had shaken her head and walked away. She knew that the other doctors and nurses were asking about her, but none of them were brave enough to ask her directly. Abby suspected that their deference was due to Cathy’s intervention and she was grateful, but Abby couldn’t form the words to thank her friend.
And at the moment, she didn’t have the strength to get herself up off of the floor.
She wanted Zeke! She wanted to feel his arms around her. She’d eaten all of the cookies and bread that were left over from his treats and now she was out of baked goods. The baked goods that he’d made specifically for her. Or that he’d made for himself, to relax after a stressful day – but she knew that he baked things that he suspected she would enjoy.
The man was…amazing! But he would die. It was inevitable! He literally dove into danger and the man might not acknowledge the reality, but he was only human. Yeah, he might be stronger and faster and smarter than the bad guys, but a bullet was faster still.
A knock on her door startled her and she jumped up. When she peered through the peek hole, Abby couldn’t stop a yelp of surprise. Pulling the door open, she stood there, staring at her mother.
“Oh, honey!” her mother said, stepping forward and wrapping her soft, comforting arms around Abby.
“Mom!” Abby sobbed, resting her head on her mother’s strong shoulder.
They stood like that for several minutes while Abby just cried her heart out.
“Come on, sweetie. Let’s go sit down and you can tell me what’s going on.”
Abby sniffed and grabbed another tissue. “Why are you here?”
Joanne smiled. “I received a call from a Lieutenant Colonel Zeke Jeffers. He said that you needed me and I booked the flight as soon as we hung up.”
Zeke’s kindness only made her cry harder. “Oh Mom!” she sobbed, deflating as she sobbed out her pain and heartache. Joanne made soothing sounds, and then she pulled her daughter back into her arms, soothing Abby in the ways that mothers have always done.
When the current round of sobbing ended, Joanne looked at her daughter. “You’re not eating, are you?”
“I eat,” Abby sniffed.
“Not enough. I’m making you dinner. Then you’re going to tell me what’s wrong and explain to me why a stranger called to tell me my daughter is in pain. After that, we’ll figure this mess out.”
Abby sniffed but obediently followed her mother into the kitchen, sitting down in one of the chairs while her mother put the fabric grocery bags on the counter and started pulling out ingredients.
“Macaroni and cheese?” Abby asked, the first hopeful thought she’d had in days.
“Of course,” Joanne laughed, looking over her shoulder at her daughter. “Is there any other comfort food for times like this?”
Abby laughed, and buried her face in her hands. A moment later, she stood up and came over to hug her mother. “I’m so glad to see you!” she whispered.
Joanne’s arms tightened around Abby’s waist and she smiled. “You’re going to be okay, sweetie.”
Abby pulled away and forced her lips to smile, but she didn’t believe her mother. “How can I help with dinner?”
Joanne pointed to the bag. “You can open that bottle of wine and pour us each a glass. Then you can sit on that stool and tell me what’s going on.” She started grating cheese, but paused to look directly into Abby’s eyes. “And you’re going to explain to me why you didn’t call and tell me that something was wrong, young lady!”
Abby laughed as she got down two wine glasses. “I didn’t want to bother you.”
Her mother snorted. “Abby, when you’re upset about something, you call me! Understand?”
Abby smiled for the first time since she’d broken up with Zeke. “Understood.”
Her mother humphed a bit, then turned back to working. “Okay, so start talking. What’s going on?”
Abby poured the wine, then sat down on the stool with a heavy sigh. “I’ve been seeing a guy, Mom. He’s wonderful. H
e’s big, strong, and patient and,” she grinned as she looked at her mother stirring the flour and butter in the pot, “he bakes! He loves to bake things. When he’s stressed about something, he’ll pull out flour and sugar or whatever and bake cookies or bread or anything that comes to mind. Plus he cooks me dinner whenever he comes over. He loves to cook. He’s just amazing!”
Joanne laughed, nodding. “Okay, he’s handsome, he’s strong, he’s patient, and he’s well trained. So, what’s the problem?”
Abby’s smile disappeared and she took a long sip of her wine. Setting it carefully back on the counter, she said, “He’s a member of the Army’s Delta Force team, Mom. He’s Special Forces.” She sniffed. “He’s just like Dad. He goes into danger zones and…he’s…”
Her mother paused and looked at Abby. “I still don’t see the problem, sweetie.”
Abby shrugged. “Dad died.”
“Yes,” she agreed, stirring in the milk now. “We’re all going to die at some point.”
“Mom, Dad died in some foreign country and we still don’t know where or how or even why.”
She nodded again. “Yes, that’s true. But Abby,” she added in a handful of grated cheese, “he died doing something he believed in. He died doing something heroic, something that made this world a better place.”
Abby thought about that and nodded slowly. “Okay, fine. He died doing something he believed in. But he left you and me behind.”
Joanne nodded and sighed heavily. “Yeah. That was awful. I was devastated when I got the news.”
“Mom,” Abby groaned, “you’ve never gotten over him.”
Joanne laughed. “I’ve moved on with my life.”
Abby stared at her mother for a long moment, shaking her head slightly. “But you’ve never remarried.”
Her mother shrugged. “That’s true. But not because I haven’t tried. I just…I loved your Dad, Abby. I loved him so much and no other man has made me feel what I had with him.” She shrugged and peered into the pot, as if evaluating the cheese mixture. “Why settle for second best?”
Abby thought about how Zeke made her feel. Every time she saw him, her heart thudded with excitement. Every time he touched her, even non-sexually, she felt something stir inside of her. “That’s how Zeke makes me feel,” she whispered.
Joanne turned to look at Abby. “So, what’s the problem?”
“I don’t want to be hurt again,” Abby admitted.
Joanne snorted. “Oh, sweetie! You’re going to be hurt again! That’s just life. Pain in life is inevitable.” She stirred in more cheese. “It’s how we live our lives during the fun times that counts. If we go through life trying to avoid pain, well, then we’ll miss out on a whole lot of wonderful, beautiful moments as well.” She looked at her daughter’s stunned expression. “You love him, don’t you?”
“Yes,” Abby admitted.
“But you’re afraid?”
Abby nodded. “I don’t want him to die, Mom.”
Joanne turned off the heat under the pot. “Abby,” she said, covering her daughter’s hands with her own, “he is going to die eventually. He might die next week or he might die when he’s eighty-five. He could die in a car accident or some bastard in a foreign country might shoot him. But yes, he’s going to die.” She squeezed Abby’s hands. “The question you need to ask yourself is what you might be missing out on before that happens.”
Joanne walked back to the stove and poured the pasta into the boiling water. She didn’t say anything else, just continued stirring and adding various ingredients into the cheese sauce while Abby contemplated her mother’s words.
She was right, Abby thought. She was so right! What in the world was she doing? Why was she here when Zeke was vital, wonderful, and still alive?! Why was she wasting time alone when she could be with Zeke?!
“I have to go, Mom!” Abby said, jumping off of the stool and rushing over to hug her mother one more time. “I’m sorry, but I need to fix something!”
She grabbed her purse and her keys, running out the door. Her tires squealed as she pulled out of her parking space and Abby forced herself to slow down. It wouldn’t do anyone any good if she got into an accident on the way to Zeke’s apartment.
Ten minutes later, she stared at the empty parking space where his truck was usually parked. He wasn’t here? Abby looked around, trying to figure out what to do. She needed to see him, but where was he?
She texted him, then waited a few minutes, willing him to respond. But there was just silence.
What to do, what to do?!
Then she thought of something. Could he have gone…?
Pulling out of the parking lot, she made her way out of town. Zeke’s truck was bigger and had better clearance, but her small sedan was determined and she drove it carefully down the dirt road and over the ruts and holes.
There! She saw the flash of blue! It was Zeke’s truck! It was by that spot near the creek!
She barely took the time to turn off her car before she threw open the door and looked around. “Zeke?” she called out.
A moment later, Zeke strode through the trees, his eyes alert. “Abby? What’s going on? What’s wrong?” he demanded, tugging her into his arms protectively as he scanned the area.
Abby laughed, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I was wrong!” she whispered, holding him close. “I was so wrong!”
Zeke froze, barely registering what she said. Especially since her soft curves were pressed against his body and…damn it, she felt good!
“How were you wrong, love?” he asked, not really caring. She was in his arms and that was all that mattered.
“I was wrong to push you away. I love you!” she told him, pulling back so that she could look into his eyes. “I love you so much that it scares me. And that’s why I pushed you away.”
He understood what she’d been going through. “You’re afraid that I’ll die and you won’t know where or why. Like what happened to your father.”
“Yes. But it’s more than that, Zeke.” She moved closer, placing her hands on his chest. “You scare me because I love you so much. So if anything were to happen to you, I don’t know if I’d survive.”
He sighed and pulled her in close. “I’ll give it all up. I’ll resign from the Army.”
She laughed and hugged him tighter. “No, you won’t!” she countered. “My mom arrived and…” she stopped, looking up at him. “Wait a minute. She said that you called her?” She looked at him. “You called my mom?”
“Yes,” he admitted. “I saw you one day and you looked awful. I knew that you wouldn’t talk to me, so I looked up your mom and told her that you needed help. That you were upset.” He kissed her. “I sent her a plane ticket because I knew that you needed someone.”
“Zeke,” she sighed, her heart swelling with the love she felt for this man until she thought her ribs might actually crack. “I love you!” she whispered. “I love you so much and I promise I’ll never push you away. But you can’t resign.” She looked at him. “You love what you do. My mom reminded me of that about my dad earlier tonight. My dad loved what he did. He believed in his work and he was good at it.” She moved closer. “She also said that she’d never been happier than when she was with him. And no man had ever measured up to him. So she said that she was glad that she had all those years with my dad.” She lifted up onto her toes and kissed Zeke. “I want to be with you. I want those years, however many there are. I want to know everything there is to know about you, Zeke. And if something happens to you, I’ll know that we had those years.”
“Abby!” he groaned and lifted her into his arms, kissing her and running his hands over her body. “I love you so much!” he told her.
Abby laughed. “Will you marry me?”
He chuckled in response. “Isn’t that my line?”
She shrugged. “Hey, get with the times, big guy.”
He kissed her again. “Yes!”
Epilogue
Abby beamed when sh
e saw the cars pull down the long driveway. She’d been waiting by the window for the past fifteen minutes, so it wasn’t a surprise.
What was a surprise were the doors that flung open and four spirited young children that burst from the vehicle.
Angela, Abby and Zeke’s oldest daughter, yelled out the window. “Slow down! You’re going to hurt Gramma!”
Abby laughed, shaking her head as she pulled open the front door. “Don’t you dare!” she called to her grandchildren, all of whom threw themselves into her arms, heads and body parts knocking in an effort to be the first to hug her.
“Oh, it’s so good to see all of you!” she said, closing her eyes as she savored this moment.
“What’s all this noise?!” a booming voice called out from inside the house. “I don’t believe I authorized any noise today!”
Abby laughed as all four grandkids pulled away, yelling and screaming with excitement as they performed the same ritual for Zeke as he knelt down to their level. Abby smiled at the craziness, thinking about how much she still loved him. Zeke was still just as tall and handsome as ever. The years had slowed both of them down, but Zeke still worked out and he still took her breath away.
“How you doing, Mom?” Angela asked, laughing as she walked up the stairs to the beach house behind her kids.
“I’m doing pretty well, dear. How are you?”
Angela turned and they watched as her husband, Dwayne, greeted Ben, Angela’s brother who had pulled up behind Angela in the driveway.
“How did Ben convince you to drive all four kids in your car?”
Angela groaned. “I lost a bet,” she admitted. Ben and his wife, Jane, stepped out of their car, shaking Dwayne’s hand and laughing about something.
“What was the bet?”
“Oh, I challenged him to a game of darts. Ben won by one point.”
Abby shook her head. “Don’t let your father hear that you lost at darts,” she warned, linking her arm through Angela’s as they watched the men start unloading the luggage. “He’ll have you practicing all week.”
Zeke (Delta Forces Book 2) Page 7
