Dreaming of Ayama

by K. A Knight

  “Indy, one more question?” he requests, stopping in front of the solid wall.

  “Yes?” I reply, as tiredness begins settling in.

  “You are young for your race, are you not? Do you not stay in family groups?” he questions, regarding me and it staggers me.

  I actually fall back, my mum’s face flashing in my mind as she watched me from behind the glass as she died. “Yes, yes we do,” I choke out, and he turns to face me fully, his face falling.

  “Are you okay?” he asks, confused.

  “Yes, I…my family group is dead. Accident,” I struggle to tell him, pushing back the memories.

  He tilts his head, his eyes unfocusing. “Then they are with the Merisheka, and waiting for you to begin your next life,” he consoles, and he brings up his hands and does a word chest bump thing.

  He turns away while I still struggle to hold back my feelings and waves his hand. As the door opens, I spot Barrott, Cain, Eldon, Auden, and Riley waiting there, all looking worried as Barrott’s eyes lock on mine. Mistaking the look of pain on my face, he roars and flings himself at Rilon, assuming he is the source of my distress.

  “No!” I yell, jumping to separate them as Rilon falls back to the floor with Barrott riding him down.

  Ground Day Three

  “Barrott, no!” I yell, but he ignores me, shouting at the alien who doesn’t even try to fight back. He lies there, not even protecting his face as Barrott grabs him and smashes him down into the floor.

  It only reinforces what I have seen and heard—they are a peaceful race. I’m betting violence does not come easily to them because even in the face of it now, they do not know what to do.

  Barrott ignores me and the others come out, circling and watching.

  “Barrott!” Riley shouts but he ignores her, too busy shouting in Rilon’s face.

  “I swear, whatever the hell you cat freaks did to her, I will make it look like fucking playtime when I’m through!” he yells and I roll my eyes. I look at the others and they just smile at me.

  “He’s your boyfriend.” Cain winks and I grunt.

  “Fucking men!” I throw my hands in the air before striding over and tapping him on the shoulder. He rears back, obviously expecting an attack, and stops his fist just inches away from my face. I don’t flinch, I just raise my eyebrows and push his fist away.

  “Could you not?” I ask, and he narrows his eyes, searching my face. “He didn’t hurt me, he just asked about my parents,” I mutter, forcing myself to meet his eyes to show how truthful I’m being, despite the pain rippling through me and how weak I feel for admitting that.

  He holds my gaze before deflating, then lets go of Rilon and stands up, pulling me to his chest. He holds the back of my head in his hands and keeps me there, just offering me comfort. “I’m okay,” I tell him, placing my hand on his chest.

  I feel his heart racing and it makes me soften, knowing how worried he must have been that I just disappeared, and then come back looking distraught. “Seriously, I’m okay. He just caught me off guard.” He pulls back and I drop my chin to his chest and look into his eyes.

  He nods, his hand coming up and cupping my face. “Okay, then he can live. You sure you’re okay?” he questions and I smile.

  “Yes, bossy.” I stick my tongue out and his lips twitch.

  “Good, ‘cause I’m going to spank your ass red for that fucking disappearing trick,” he growls.

  I can’t help it, I laugh even as I shiver in pleasure, seriously considering letting him. “Uh-huh, whatever you say, stalker.” I pat his chest and step back.

  “Get a room!” Cain hollers, and the tension breaks as everyone laughs.

  Moving past Barrott, I spot Rilon still on the floor, looking confused.

  “I’m sorry.” I reach down, offering him my hand. I hear some gasps behind me but I ignore them all.

  He looks at the gathered people behind me before slowly placing his four-fingered hand in mine. It dwarfs mine and his skin feels rougher than a human’s, but I hold on, not showing any sign of unease as I help him to his feet before looking him over for injuries. It wouldn’t do well to break the peace that quickly, and to survive on this rock, we are going to need them.

  “I truly am sorry, Rilon, he is just protective of me,” I inform him. He tilts his head down, watching me, our hands still clasped.

  “He is your mate?” he inquires, and I hear the crowd muttering and moving—obviously unsure what he’s saying. I think through his question, but my mouth opens before I can think.

  “Yes.” The murmuring behind me gets louder, the humans wondering how I can understand him. “I need to talk to them about what we have discussed, are we still able to stay the night?”

  “Yes, of course. I will send some food and we unlocked the bathrooms hours ago. There is an intercom in the room, simply call my name if you need anything.” He lets go of my hand, backing away slowly before turning to Barrott. Barrott looks confused, and I step closer to him.

  “A misunderstanding, even our kind gets protective of their mate.” He holds out his hand, like I did to him, and waits.

  Barrott looks from it to me and I urge him with my eyes not to refuse. He reaches out and shakes it, and I see Rilon wince slightly, Barrott obviously letting him know his strength before they both let go.

  Rilon gives me one last look before leaving me with the survivors. Sighing, I rub at my hand before turning to face the mass. They are all watching me with varying degrees of confusion and anger.

  “I think you have some explaining to do,” Barrott orders.

  “So you can understand them?” Auden asks, leaning closer. He sweeps my hair away from my neck and prods at the cool to the touch translator. Unless I really think about it, I can’t even feel it.

  “Yes, cutie.” I grin. He looks at me from close up and winks, and my breath catches at how handsome he looks, and when his eyes sparkle and his lips tug up into a grin, I know he understands what I am thinking about.

  “We have an understanding of peace?” Barrott questions, pacing in front of us from where we are slumped against the back wall. I had made a quick announcement to the others that I had been given a translator and that they meant us no harm, and were in fact looking for survivors. It seemed to settle some people, even if they do still watch the door warily.

  “Yes, Effie is on her way as well, they got a message while I was there from an outpost. They will help us look for survivors and set up a camp. From what I can understand, they have contacted a government of sorts as well about our crash,” I explain, before a yawn splits my face.

  “You need to rest,” Eldon says, scooting closer on my right side and taking my hand.

  “He’s right,” Cain drawls and I peek around Auden to see him leaned back against the wall with his eyes closed. “Everything can wait until we have rested, we aren’t much good like this and we have already established the aliens aren’t going to attack us.”

  Riley wanders over. “Some are worried about staying here, they want to go back to Dawnbreaker to make camp there.”

  I nod, leaning my head back on the wall as I watch her. “I figured as much. We rest here tonight and tomorrow we will go back there, but we do need the alien’s help, whether they like it or not.”

  She grins. “I’ll let them know, I’ll also put a station on the door, it might make them feel better.” She nods at us and makes her round to the other survivors.

  Closing my eyes, I settle in for some much needed sleep, but a noise in front of me has me cracking my eyes open to see Barrott crouching in front of me, his gaze worried.

  “You really trust the aliens?” he asks, stumbling over the word.

  “As much as I can. Honestly, I don’t really trust anyone apart from us, but we need them,” I answer tiredly and he nods.

  Leaning closer, he drops a soft kiss on my forehead, lingering there before pulling away and standing. “Get some sleep, I will take first watch.” With that, he wanders over to the
door and sits across from it, his gun on his lap, his eyes bright and aware.

  “Does he ever switch off, Good Looking?” Auden jokes, making me smile as I watch my grumpy guard.

  “Not really, but he makes me feel safe,” I offer truthfully.

  Auden fake gasps. “And we don’t? I am offended, Good Looking!” he teases, and I laugh, but it’s tired and strained.

  “We all need to sleep, come on, Good Looking, you can use us as pillows,” Eldon says softly, sitting next to me. I see him give his brother a stern look, warning him to be quiet, and it makes my smile grow.

  “Night,” I mumble as I lean my head onto Eldon’s shoulder.

  Auden leans on my other side, keeping me warm.

  “Cuddle party and I’m not invited, I’m offended,” Cain jokes and I roll my eyes.

  “There’s always my lap,” I reply, joking, but when I hear him moving my eyes fly wide. Ignoring the looks of others, he crawls over and settles between my legs, leaning his head into my lap.

  His eyes close and his lips settle in a smile, I find myself watching him. He might be holding something back from me, but that doesn’t stop my heart from softening and caring for him. Running my fingers through his soft hair, I close my eyes and fall asleep quickly, surrounded by my men with Barrott keeping watch—as always.

  SURVIVOR LOG 0003

  Date: Unknown

  Mission: 43, Colony

  Ship: Dawnbreaker

  Location: Unknown Planet.

  The rest of the survivors are still wary of the aliens, I can understand that. If I couldn’t understand them then I would be as well. I know they don’t want to hurt us, but I worry we may cause a war with our distrust and violent ways as Rilon explained. Fear, I can see it in our shipmates eyes and in the way they hold themselves. That fear is deadly when it comes to humans.

  I’m hoping setting up camp by the Dawnbreaker will help with this, and make them feel more settled over time as they see that the aliens mean us no harm, and that in fact, here, we are the aliens.

  I don’t know how long it will be until earth, or these galactic people, come for us, if at all, but until then we must concentrate on locating survivors and staying alive. I don’t know how I have become a leader of this little band of survivors, except I see them looking to me for answers, and my men listen when I talk. It sits wrong with me, I don’t feel prepared, but I try to not let them see that.

  I’m waiting for the others to wake up before I ask Rilon to let us journey back to the Dawnbreaker. Cain is snoring and wrapped around me like a snake, while Auden and Eldon are cuddling me to death. It’s nice...even if I feel the judgement of others.

  We can’t talk freely with so many ears around and I feel like I have so much to tell them, so instead I’m writing it down so I don’t forget. I could really use my best friend right now, she always helps me think clearer and I have so much I need to talk to someone about. At least I know she is safe and on her way back, I just hope Howard is okay. Worry, guilt, and fear were pushing at me until I gave up trying to sleep after having only a couple hours of restless dreams.

  I don’t feel like the adrenaline junkie, trainee pilot from on board, in fact I feel a million miles away. They say trauma ages people, maybe they are right. I can feel the weight of it all on my shoulders...perhaps I need to share the burden with those I trust?

  But whom can I really trust among them?

  - Indy, signing off.

  Ground Day Four

  Once everyone is awake, they start to get antsy. Being in this room is driving them stir crazy so I get up slowly, waking Eldon, Auden, and Cain, and join Barrott and Riley at the door. Waving my hand, I call out in a loud, clear voice.

  “Rilon.”

  I wait, hoping he might send a message back, but it is just silent. Frowning, I fidget between them, looking over my shoulder at everyone’s expectant expression. I have just stepped forward to open the door when it fades and Rilon stands in the doorway.

  “Happy sun rising, Indy,” he greets me.

  “We say, good morning.” I grin and his thin lips turn up, showing fangs. I hear people react but I don’t, except he must hear them as well, because he quickly covers them up and looks at the floor in embarrassment.

  “I was hoping we could leave today and set up camp at Dawnbreaker,” I say, wording my request carefully, knowing they can only hear my side of the conversation.

  “Yes, yes, of course. We will pack up some safe food, please be careful what you hunt or pick, and we will gladly explain the ways of the world to you and help get your camp settled, as well as share our harvest,” he offers and I nod gladly.

  “Thank you, Rilon, we would be glad for the food and the help.” I incline my head, ignoring the murmurs around us.

  “I will let the jinum know and gather some supplies. Until then, may I lead you outside so you can see our camp? It might settle some of those nerves I can see in your people,” he suggests, looking anxiously at the people behind me.

  He turns and steps out, glancing back at me to make the first move. I walk out after him and look back at the faces anxiously watching me. “We will setup camp now.” I raise my voice, and I hear relieved sighs scattered throughout the survivors before I look at Barrott. “They are going to help us establish our camp and offer us food. Make sure no one causes a war, please?” I ask.

  His lips twitch and he looks at Riley. “Take the back, I’ll take the front.” She grins and offers me a wink before fading into the waiting crowd.

  I turn back and nod at Rilon and he mimics me, still looking confused by the movement, before he turns and leads us from the building.

  When we reach the oval room with the hub of corridors leading to different destinations, the door leading outside rolls down, and the heat hits me at the same time the sun almost blinds me. I hadn’t noticed how dull it was inside.

  Sucking in some fresh air, I step outside, the survivors following us as I look around at the camp with fresh eyes. The first time I was panicked and searching for enemies, but now I see the peace and help they are offering.

  Rilon’s words about them not being prone to violence comes back to me, and now that I know more about them—I can see it.

  No guards patrol the edge of the camp, I can’t even see any weapons or distinguish between the classes here—everyone looks and acts the same. I even see the jinum working in the field to the left.

  No watchtowers, no rules or weapons...do they truly just live here in peace?

  Why is that thought as appealing as it is frightening? Because Rilon is right, we are prone to violence and this peace, this treaty between us, is fragile, and if anyone is going to break it, it will be us.

  “Please wait while I gather your supplies, you are free to look and walk around, we have conveyed the peace to our people and they will welcome you with open arms,” Rilon says distractedly, typing into the band on his arm before he jogs over to the jinum in the field.

  Barrott steps up next to me. “Where are their protections, their guards?”

  “They don’t have them, they have no need,” I whisper.

  “That’s foolish, everyone must have protection and guards,” he scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest, and I look over at him.

  “Is it? If they live in peace then why do they need it? Do we create the need for guards by simply having them in place, or do we have them in place because we actually need them?” I counter.

  A mix of voices has us breaking our conversation. Looking up, we face the aliens who have stopped working and are gathering around something next to the water, which is cut into the land on the way to the building we’re near.

  “Make sure all the humans stay together,” I mutter distractedly before I stride over, curious.

  They tower over me, blocking the view, and creating a mix of blues, greens, pinks, and purple skin tones until I’m almost dizzy from the colours. Leaning down, I slip through a crack between two of them to see what they are all gathering a
round and when I do—I laugh.

  My cat stalker is sunning himself on his back, his tail twitching between its splayed legs as he arches into the air, swatting his paws playfully for the crowd. “Ker, what are you doing?” I grin, crouching at the cat’s side.

  He swivels his head, blinking those big eyes at me, and as his tongue lolls out I narrow my eyes in warning. “Don’t you dare,” I caution, but it’s no use.

  I groan as he darts forward and licks my hand. I hear the gathered aliens gasp and when I look up, I see a bigger crowd has gathered and they are all watching me in shock. Uh-oh, did I just do a big alien no-no?

  “He has granted you protection and declared his intent,” one alien whispers, awe filling his voice. I look down at Ker in confusion and he tilts his head as if to say, ‘I don’t know either,’ so I look back at the alien in question.

  “What do you mean? He healed me one day then just started following me,” I query, confused.

  “The yunret healed you?” he asks, stepping back and the others do the same.

  Standing with a confused look, I face the alien head on. “Yes, is that wrong?”

  “You have been blessed, you’ve been chosen,” he replies, flicking a look down, and I follow his gaze to see Ker on his feet and winding around my knees, his tails wrapping around my ankle like an anchor.

  “Can someone explain?” I request, exasperated.

  Ker purrs and the jinum’s voice comes from behind me, making me look over my shoulder to see him and Rilon there, watching. The jinum smiles and Rilon is rapidly taking notes on his armband, looking between us all as he does.

  “It is said that when a yunret heals a...person, they are offering them the blessings of the goddess, declaring his intent and protection of that person. The bond that is created is for life, and the yunret will give his life for his chosen one,” the jinum explains, his gaze flickering to the big cat at my feet. “Only three have been chosen while we have been here, we thought it was the goddess turning us away for fleeing our homes, but maybe...maybe we were wrong,” he finishes sadly.