Dreaming of Ayama

by K. A Knight

  He glares, realising he is beaten. “Of course, I worried for our safety was all,” he states, looking concerned. “I lost my family as well, don’t forget that.” He puts on the water works and I almost scream at him. How dare he use his son’s grief and pain like a tactic? “But this is not home, you will do well to remember that, and when you get back we need to discuss putting an experienced leader in place to get this place sorted.” He shrugs.

  “And I’m guessing you mean you?” I laugh bitterly. I don’t want to lead. I just want to protect our people, but if not leading means this man does, then screw that.

  “If the people wish it.” He grabs his chest, acting shocked at the suggestion and I glare at him.

  Barrott steps between us, lasering his gaze into the man. “Three teams—anyone not building or stockpiling, and who can meet here in ten minutes to get your rations. Then we split up. It’s time to find our people,” he calls, making his support for me clear. It does the trick and people break up, getting ready.

  I turn without another word, but Cain’s dad’s voice stops me when I meet Cain’s eyes. “Indy, wasn’t it? I remember your parents, tragic what happened to them. How marvellous that you are here now, but I hope you know what you are doing kid, because they trusted in science and new technology and look where it got them,” he warns. Cain’s eyes shut down, his anger surfacing, and my whole body freezes at the mention of my parents.

  Before I can say something I regret, Barrott’s hand lands on my shoulder. “Indy knows what she is doing. I suggest you go and find a job to do. Everyone helps around here and you are no exception,” he growls. I grit my teeth and walk away, my anger burning bright like a dying star.

  I grab my bag from the tent, blowing out my breath and counting backwards from ten to hold in my anger. I hear the tent flap open behind me before I feel his heat. “Want me to kill him or just seriously maim him?” Barrott asks, his voice rumbling.

  “Yes,” I grumble, turning to face him.

  His lips twitch and he steps closer, tilting my chin up so I look at him. “Done.”

  I sigh, my snarl dissolving into a small smile, knowing he would follow through on the threat. “Crazy bastard,” I reply.

  His lips tip up as he watches me. “Yeah, well, I heard you love it, no takesies backsies now,” he jokes.

  “Spaceballs, am I stuck with you?” I groan.

  He leans closer instead of teasing me like I expected, and against my lips, whispers, “Forever,” before kissing me hard.

  He bites down on my bottom lip and I gasp. He grips my arse and drags me to him, pressing our bodies together as he sweeps his tongue in. Clutching his shoulders, I give as good as I get. Loving this rough side of him, he is always so gentle with me, looking after me like I’m precious, but I can always tell when his passion flares—he’s all rough and dominant, and if I was wearing panties they would totally melt.

  His stubble rubs against me as I pull away to suck in air, and he pushes my face to the side with his nose before running his lips down it. He presses his teeth to my skin lightly, before kissing it better, and moving up. He bites harder this time and a moan flies from my lips, my whole body lighting up. Fire races through my blood as I become putty in his arms. I know we need to get moving, but I can’t find the strength to push away, not when he is everything I want.

  “Barrott,” I whisper, as he kisses his way across my cheek and back to my lips.

  He stops there, hovering, as we stare at each other from inches away. Our eyes are filled with need, love, and trust, and I do trust him. Beyond anything or anyone else, I know he will never lie to me, never hurt me. He will be there. Not even death, aliens, or rebellions could stop this man from reaching my side. In the past, I have given myself to men I knew I wouldn’t be with forever, boys who I knew I would break their hearts. That’s what makes this so terrifying, because I know Barrott is my forever, and if we take this next step it will change everything.

  His eyes offer me solace and comfort, always letting me make the decision. That in itself decides it for me. I have been his for a long time, but now I want him to know it. Except not here and now, not when the others are waiting outside for us and we have people to find. I don’t want to be rushed, I want to spend my time mapping his body, kissing him and tasting.

  “Tonight, can we go for a walk?” I request and he nods, obviously confused. “We better get going.”

  I kiss him again before pulling away, and walking out of the tent with shaky legs but a calm heart now that I have made the decision. I don’t know how it will affect everyone else—it will hurt them, I know that—but I can’t keep having one foot out of the door. I either want them all or none, and it’s about time I let them know that. In the midst of all the turmoil I had lost a part of myself, letting others’ thoughts and judgements scare me away, but that has never been me, and if anyone can face the challenge of loving four men, it’s me.

  We find the others waiting for us where we left them, and I spot Rilon at the entrance to the camp, receiving death glares from Cain’s dad. I head his way, saying goodbye to Eldon, Auden, and Cain, making them promise to be safe and to be back before dark. When I reach Rilon with Barrott and Effie, he smiles at us.

  “Sun’s birth,” I greet, remembering our talk yesterday

  At that he perks up. “Good morning, Indy, I shall take you to Jolp, who is waiting eagerly.” He says the word in confusion, like Jolp and eagerly don’t go together. “I wish to show your man some things,” he finishes, and Effie sniggers at ‘your man.’

  “You heard him, my man.” I wink at Barrott who rolls his eyes.

  “Effie?” I call, who turns red again.

  “I was going to, er, go see Rfen again, he’s the medic they have, and his knowledge is amazing,” she rushes out, making my eyebrows raise. I don’t bother lowering my voice when I reply.

  “Remember when you accused me of collecting men?” I grin and her eyes narrow, even while her cheeks flame a darker red.

  “Totally different,” she squeaks.

  “Uh-huh. Why, ‘cause they have two tails, not one?” I wiggle my eyebrows and I hear Barrott snort.

  “We only have one tail,” Rilon states, and I look over to see him confused, staring at his tail as if he might have grown another one without him knowing.

  “Nope, I’m not explaining that one.” I shake my head, laughing as I push past them and start hiking to his camp.

  “Indy, we have one tail!” Rilon calls, jogging to my side.

  “Nope, nada, not going there with an alien. Don’t you have your own version or the birds and the bees?” I grumble.

  “She means your junk,” Barrott chimes in.

  “Junnn-k? What is that?” Rilon questions, his eyes shooting between us all. We all share a moment of understanding and laugh, before looking at the helpless alien in pity.

  “Erm, well—” Effie tries, stumbling over her words.

  “Your cock, Rilon, the thing you put in a lady or man or plant, who knows?” I finish.

  “Cock,” he repeats, shaking his head. “You mean our mating stick?”

  I actually choke and stumble over a rock, almost falling face down.

  “Mating stick?” I echo slowly, and he nods, confused again.

  “Yes, when mating is initiated, we first—”

  I hold my hand up, trying not to laugh in disbelief. “I know how that works…or maybe I don’t with your kind.” I turn to Effie again. “You should listen though, figure out how to work their mating sticks.” I wink and her mouth drops open as an unrecognisable sound comes out before she snaps it shut.

  “Is she okay? Her head looks like the fretta when they are about to explode,” Rilon asks, worried, stepping back from Effie with concern.

  “Yeah, she is just thinking about your mating stick is all,” I add, and Effie swivels her eyes to me, wordlessly begging me to stop and save her from her mortification. “So, let’s not keep her aliens waiting, shall we? I’m sure th
ey can answer her questions,” I tease further.

  “I will be sure to inform them of her curiosity,” Rilon offers, still giving Effie worried looks, and when we start walking again he gives her a wide berth, like he is worried she actually might explode.

  I leave her to calm down on the way and engage Rilon in talk about reachers and how they built their camp. Barrott listens closely, and by the time we reach their camp, Effie is a normal colour again. I follow Rilon as he escorts Effie and Barrott to the building we went into when we first arrived. He takes us down the second hallway and around some corners before stopping and waving to an open door. Inside is what looks like a medical bay, but it puts ours to shame.

  Two floating beds are on either side, with cupboards on the wall all done in stainless steel and white. Screens, holos, and other things, which I don’t even know what they are, cover one wall, and I couldn’t even begin to guess what each machine in the room does. A blue light bar stands over each bed, waiting to be used, a scanner? Who knows, but it’s clear they are more advanced than we are.

  “Effie, I am so glad you came back, I was just—” Rfren cuts off when he sees us and straightens, waving awkwardly.

  “Hello, other humans, I, erm, sorry, the only time I really talk to people is when I am treating them, so I am a little rusty,” he rambles and I smile.

  “Nice to meet you. I am just dropping Effie off. She learned something interesting this morning. You should ask her about it.” I grin and push Effie through the door, waving my hand so she can’t escape.

  “You’re evil!” Barrott laughs and I wink at him.

  “You love it.”

  We head back through the maze before we stop at another door down an empty corridor. Instead of waving, like I thought, Rilon knocks and it dissolves from the other side, revealing Wrenil.

  “Did you bring the squishy human?” he asks straight away, and I snort.

  “No, I brought you a hard one instead. Bye Barrott, have fun at daycare!” I yell, and try to push him through like I did to Effie, but he doesn’t budge. Both him and Wrenil give me dark looks and I smirk, backing away.

  “Bye! Love you!” I call, as I giggle and turn around, almost getting lost straight away, until Rilon catches up and leads me from the maze.

  We are quiet as we leave the building, and I look around at the aliens working and the impressive camp and life they have built here. They seem happy. I wonder if we could be happy here? I let myself muse over that idea as we head to the control hub. I find my way to Jolp’s desk with Rilon at my side back. The room is fuller today and I spot a few aliens combing through what looks like reacher footage. Are they helping?

  Ground Day Six

  “You owe me four swear words!” Jolp shouts, as I head through the desks and sit in my chair from yesterday.

  I swivel to face him as he stares intently at the screen and the reacher moving through the forest. “Why were you spying?” I ask, curious.

  “I was continuing my search for more of your race. I thought I had spotted some, but it was just you mating.” He shrugs, his voice loud.

  I snort, not the least bit bothered. I find his honesty and lack of a filter refreshing. It reminds me of myself. “I wasn’t mating,” I reply, looking at the screen.

  “Uh-huh, sure,” he mutters sarcastically, his tail flipping at me in derision.

  “Find anything?” I inquire, changing the subject to something that doesn’t involve the word mating.

  “Not yet,” he grumbles but then seems to brighten. “Four swear words,” he repeats.

  Laughing, I sit back in my chair and think through what I really want to teach an alien. “Asswad,” I blurt.

  His eyes widen, and his mouth opens wide as he tries to say it. “Assssswad,” he drawls making me laugh.

  “Asswad,” I say slower and he tilts his head, slitting his eyes in concentration.

  “Asswad,” he repeats, dragging the word out.

  “Yup.” I nod.

  “Next one!” He claps, his tail slapping the chair.

  “Okay, fucking,” I offer.

  “Fooking.”

  Biting my lips, I try again. “Fucking.”

  “Fucking,” he says again and I nod.

  “Okay, so using them in a sentence, I could say—Jolp, you are a fucking asswad.” I grin and he sits up straighter, turning to face a pink alien standing at another desk.

  “Hey Oner, you are a fucking asswad!” he shouts, before ducking behind his monitor when the alien looks over.

  Giggling, I bend with him as he presses his tail to his lips to try and stifle his laughter.

  “Next one!” he whispers.

  “Er, you can replace asswad with twat,” I offer.

  His eyes light up. “Twat—I like that one. More!” He grins.

  “Muffin, if you add it to twat.” I grin.

  He nods very seriously, and sits up to see Oner still staring at him. He clears his throat and stands.

  “Oner, my apologies, what I meant to say is you are a fucking asswad twat muffin.” He starts laughing on the last word and sits down next to me.

  I can’t help it, I burst out laughing, and I lean against him as tears stream down my face. “Jolp!” the alien shouts before storming away, making us laugh harder.

  “Baby, do I need to even ask?” Barrott growls behind me, and my laughter cuts off as I spin in my chair and smile at him innocently. His eyebrow arches and Jolp looks at him.

  “We are fine, asswad,” he answers, and I roll my lips to stop the laughter.

  Barrott looks at me, his lips twitching. “Asswad?” he asks.

  “You look very handsome today, did you wash?” I query through suppressed laughter, trying to distract him.

  He moves closer, and I lean back on the desk as he presses his arms to the desk, caging me in, and looks at me. “Asswad?” he asks again.

  I lean up and boop his nose. “You’re pretty.” I flutter my lashes and a smile splits his face.

  “No mating on my desk, twat muffin,” Jolp groans, making me smile brighter.

  “You heard the alien, no mating on his desk.” I laugh.

  He leans closer, rubbing his lips across my cheek before whispering in my ear, “Maybe later then.”

  He kisses my neck before stepping back, holy spaceballs. My mouth goes dry and heat flashes through me as he winks and leaves us again without even telling me why he came. Turning back to the desk, I swallow hard, staring at the screen as I try to cool the lust he stirred in me. I clench my thighs together and watch as Jolp goes back to zooming through the forest.

  “Do humans mate often? How many eggs do you produce?” he questions distractedly, and I choke on my own spit.

  “Eggs?” I squeak, oh my God, Effie is going to have eggs.

  He ignores me and I find myself staring at him harder…they lay eggs? Like snakes or birds? Wow.

  “Here, you take the top left sector.” He slides over controls and I get settled in to search.

  Howard, if you are out there, please, to the stars, be okay.

  Three hours later, my stomach rumbles…loudly. It startles Jolp so bad he screeches, falls from his chair, and crouches on the other side with wide eyes and fangs hanging out.

  “Er, sorry?” I offer, and he slowly gets on his chair, watching me the whole time as he clambers onto it.

  “What was that?” he asks slowly.

  “My stomach?”

  “Why does it roar? Is there a trapped animal in there or does it do that on command?” he inquires, staring really hard at my stomach.

  “It rumbles when we get hungry,” I explain.

  “It growled, almost roared. Is it to warn off predators from your food source?”

  “Nope.” I laugh.

  He goes back to work, but keeps throwing me concerned looks, and when it rumbles again he jumps in the air, baring his fangs.

  “Okay, I’m going to get some food.” I laugh, standing up so he doesn’t have to watch me out of th
e corner of his eye all day like I might attack him.

  I leave him to his screens and go in search of Barrott and Effie. I run into Wrenil outside the main building, staring at the ground with a hard look. I debate leaving him alone, but something makes me stop and head his way.

  “Hey, you okay?” I ask, unsure if I should be interrupting his stare off with the dirt. He’s unpredictable, that’s for sure, so when his gaze swings my way and he opens his mouth, I nearly jump out of my skin.

  “What do humans like?” he questions randomly.

  “Erm, in general or…?” I reply, confused.

  “For matings here, we present gifts to show our worthiness of our mate. Do humans do this?” he inquires, looking around before stepping closer.

  Ahhhhh, I think I understand now. I sit down on the edge of the ramp that leads into the building, and he crouches in front of me in the dirt. For humans, it wouldn’t be comfortable, but the way his legs bend makes it look like he is sitting down normally. “You want to mate Effie?” I ask, to be sure.

  His eyes fly wide and he glances around before looking at me. “If I did?”

  I grin. “Then you need to get me on your side. That girl is my sister and if anyone, alien or not, hurts her, I would pull their…mating stick off and make them eat it. Understood?” I offer.

  He looks down at his trousers before watching me with concern. “Humans eat their mating sticks?”

  “No, it was a threat,” I explain, and he growls but grudgingly nods.

  “Okay, human rundown. Women love gifts, especially ones that show the other person has thought about it and it means something to them. But most of all, we love a best friend. Someone we can talk to, truly talk to, about everything and anything. Our fears, our dreams, without being judged. We need that support, we need a partner, not just to...mate.”

  He tilts his head so I continue, “Effie is different than me, she’s a shy and reserved woman until it comes to saving people’s lives or her family. She doesn’t open up well and gets embarrassed easily. She would rather be reading a book alone than hanging out at a party, but she enjoys being with people at the same time. Her family means the world to her, her father especially…” I swallow hard and he focuses on me.