“How many times do you intend to apologize? I get you’re uncomfortable about it. I’m not exactly proud of what I did last night either.”
“It’s just—you don’t seem crazy now, just a little sad, maybe lost. I can relate to that. I’m still missing both my grandparents and it’s been a short four months since my grandmother died.”
He remembered what Scott had told him in the barn, reminding him he wasn’t the only one who’d lost someone important. “Then I guess I just need to learn how to handle it better.”
“I think the word is cope. You need to cope with the loss of Cassie.”
“Is that what you’re doing—what with losing your grandparents—coping?”
“Sure, I try to stay busy but memories of them are all over the center, the house, the town. I even think about them when I’m in the truck, driving down the road on the way to make a rescue, or listening to Stones’ music. Because let’s face it, those are all places and things I remember about them the most.”
“Exactly. That’s why I left Leesburg. I couldn’t handle seeing all the old haunts where we spent so much time together.”
They stopped walking and eyed each other. Understanding seemed to bloom.
Once they reached his truck, Keegan tried to give him back his keys to let him drive but Cord shook his head. “Nope. I need to see what kind of a driver you are.”
“I still don’t feel right about this.”
“Getting in the truck with me or my lending it to you? Which?”
“Lending me your truck is extremely generous.”
He opened the driver’s side door for her—and waited. As soon as she crawled behind the wheel he went around to the passenger side, watched the dog jump into the front seat as if he were right at home riding shotgun and scooted him over, settled in next to him.
Not only did it seem strange to be sitting on this side of his own truck but having the woman and her dog invade his domain felt like he’d crossed some line. Maybe she was right. Maybe this had been an incredibly bad idea.
But when he glanced over at the woman as she stuck the key into the ignition, he stifled a chuckle. Even in the dark he could see she had the most intense concentration on her face. She took the time to adjust the rearview mirror, the side mirror, fidgeted with the seat settings to get it as comfortable as possible and then shot him a lost look.
“Are you gonna drive this thing or have a relationship with it?”
She grinned. “Hey, driving someone else’s vehicle is a huge responsibility. And yours is so new with all these fancy gadgets I’m not used to. I have to know where the windshield wipers are and the headlights and—”
“I see that. It’s just a truck, Keegan—and fully insured at that.”
Finally she turned the key and fired up the engine. When she pulled away from the curb she said, “Wow! Nice wheels. It drives like a dream, not like my old tub at all.”
“I’ve seen that ancient white truck with the FMRC logo on the doors around town. Funny, but before today, I didn’t even know what FMRC meant, never even asked. That truck’s got to be at least twenty years old.”
She snorted out a laugh. “It’s almost as old as I am.”
“And that would be…?”
“Twenty-six this past January. How about you?”
“Thirty-four last month.”
“What did you mean back there when you said she—Cassie—was the only one who ever loved you? What about your parents?” Keegan asked once they hit the outskirts of town and headed into the countryside. “I mean I realize you loved Cassie but surely…”
“Must’ve been a toddler when I got dumped in San Diego because I don’t remember anything about my parents. After that, a series of foster homes came and went in a blur, some good, some bad. Most were indifferent to me. They’d take me in but would always find some reason to give me up.”
Poor little thing thought Keegan, as she steadied her eyes on the road. And then something else popped into her head. “That could’ve happened to me, you know. The foster care thing. My mother dropped me off here in Pelican Pointe and took off when I was five. Instead of dumping me into the system though, she came back here. My grandparents raised me. But she sure as hell could’ve abandoned me anywhere along the way from San Francisco to L.A. before we ended up here. She wasn’t exactly what you’d call—maternal.”
“Good thing you had your grandparents.”
“Don’t I know it?” But he’d had no one. Something about that tore at her heart.
“You got a boyfriend?”
“Uh, no. Why?”
“What’s wrong with the guys in Pelican Pointe?”
She chortled with laughter. “Wow, you are a newb. Most of the men and women for that matter who grow up around here—leave, or get married to their high school sweetheart.” She thought of Wally. “Or they meet the love of their life and settle down for good in marital bliss.”
“Why didn’t you settle down in marital bliss? Or up and leave?”
“My life’s at the rescue center, being a part of that is always something I wanted. Even when I was in college I interned there, so I never really left.” She’d never once considered living anywhere else.
“This is home. At least that’s the way it started out. I love the animals, the work, curing them of infections, disease, seeing them get better so we can release them back into the wild or get them into a zoo. It’s exciting.”
“You have three degrees.” When she looked perplexed, he added, “I Googled you.”
“You did? Hmm.” She wasn’t sure what to make of that.
“I know you have an undergraduate degree in marine biology, a master’s in zoology, and a PhD in marine ecology. With all that, you should be ten years older.”
“You’re really hung up on age, aren’t you?”
He ignored the comment and added, “You must be a genius or something close.”
“I wish. I worked my ass off for those degrees. I had a leg up on everyone else though. Think about it, I’d been around marine life and mammals most of my life. I had a built-in place to intern and work on my degrees, a built-in mentor in my grandfather.”
“You graduated high school at sixteen.”
When she continued to stare at him instead of the road, he said, “I did the math. You might want to look that way.” He pointed toward the windshield and the highway beyond. “I’ve decided I want to live, remember?”
That cracked her up again. “Good to know. What about you? Did you go to college?”
“Hell, I didn’t even stick around long enough to graduate high school. Bummed around for two years working construction then one day I got a burr up my ass, joined the army the day I turned eighteen.”
“Is that when you got the tattoos?”
He glanced down at his arms covered by the sleeves of his jacket. “How’d you know—? Ah, you saw them last night. No, the tattoos came much later—after.”
“I didn’t mean to interrupt. Go on.”
“I got my GED courtesy of the military though, served six years before coming back to San Diego. It wasn’t until then I got into a community college, studied the basics for a couple more. I joined the California Guard for some extra cash, and then, lo and behold, Iraq happened.”
“What was it like, Iraq?”
“Messy.”
“Do you feel sad or weird now?”
“Only when you don’t watch the road.”
She snorted out a laugh. “I’m a very good driver.”
“So you keep saying.”
“What I meant was how come you felt so sad and weird last night when you—did that? And now you don’t? It was a short twenty-four hours earlier.”
“I feel sad when I drink so maybe I’ll try to find a way not to.”
“Do you think you can?”
“People keep asking me that. All I can do is give it my best shot.”
“If you start feeling, you know, weird or sad, you could always give
me a call. We could talk.”
Despite the fact she was driving, their eyes met, albeit briefly. But Cord thought he saw a world of compassion in that fleeting moment. “My first AA meeting is tomorrow. Have dinner with me after, chances are I’ll need to unload on someone after baring my soul to a bunch of strangers.”
“Really? Why me?”
He laughed. “Might as well be you as anyone else, and besides, you’re gorgeous.” He leaned over the dog and ran his hands through a few strands of hair. “This is not out of a bottle, is it?”
Taken aback, she almost missed the turnoff and had to quickly brake. Used to driving her old Ford, the brakes on Cord’s GMC didn’t need anything more than a light tap to bring the truck to a stop. Keegan, however, left her foot a little too long on the pedal and sent the truck into a mini-skid, which threw Cord forward, even wearing his seatbelt.
She heard his intake of breath and puffed out, “Sorry, sensitive brakes.”
“Geez, woman, you are a road hazard.”
“I’m not used to flattery.”
“Well, that’s just sad. You have gorgeous hair, a beautiful classic face.”
“Thanks,” she muttered as she concentrated on completing the left turn and heading west, past the iron gates and down the driveway to the farm. She drove by apple and cherry trees laden down with fruit and past fields with rows and rows of growing vegetation.
The unmistakable smell of freshly turned earth filled the vehicle.
“You wouldn’t happen to know anything about growing daisies would you?” Keegan asked. “My grandmother’s flowers, they’re dying. I don’t seem to have her green thumb.”
“Daisies are pretty easy to grow. Try adding some fertilizer with phosphorous.”
“Really? Okay. You’ll be opening the fruit stand before long.”
“Yeah. But it’s a good thing my life insurance is paid up since I almost ended up part of the pavement.”
“Do you always embellish like that?” she teased back.
“Only when I risk life and limb.”
She snickered. “You don’t seem the suicidal type.” When she realized she’d used the dreaded S word, she gasped. “I’m sorry, that sort of slipped out.”
“No problem since the entire town is well aware of my little attempt at ending it all I’m sure it won’t be the only time someone describes me using that word. I guess you’re right, from now on I’ll be known as the resident nutcase.”
“See? There’s that sense of humor. Where was that just a short twenty-four hours earlier when you were considering—?” She stopped, let out a huge sigh. “You seem so—different tonight. Split personality maybe?”
“For one thing, last night I wasn’t having a conversation with anyone. In fact, I was in a lousy frame of mind, had been all week. I could feel it building up inside me. I usually can. I went from walking into McCready’s just so I could let off a little steam, went from having one drink to feeling like I didn’t want to be around anymore.”
“Could it be that you find yourself in a new place, a new job, and even with all that, you’re still alone? Overwhelmed by your new surroundings?”
His brow tightened. Maybe she’d hit on something he hadn’t considered. “I go see a shrink on Monday. I don’t know how they got me in so quick. But the judge was fairly adamant about me going. I guess I’ll see how it goes. And yeah, I feel lonely sometimes, like I’m lost. That’s why the best part of last night—”
“There was a best part to last night?”
“Yeah. As I recall, the best part of last night was when you had your mouth on mine just not exactly the way I would’ve liked.”
That made her sputter out, “Geez, I was trying to get you to breathe.”
“And if I’d known you existed before I took that dive into the water, I might’ve kept my butt on that rock, kept my thoughts to watching the setting sun instead of making it the last one I’d ever see.”
She opened her mouth to speak but couldn’t form a single thought. Making sure she kept her eyes on the dark, narrow lane, she pulled up in front of the farmhouse that used to belong to Edmund Taggert. The marine layer had parted enough that slices of moonlight cut through the clouds allowing hefty streaks to wash over the front yard and the old porch.
When Keegan cut the engine, they sat there in silence for a few minutes until she turned and said, “You really want to have dinner with me?”
He undid his seat belt, nudged Guinness aside where he could slide into the middle. He leaned in, took her chin. “I should probably mention I’d like to do more than have dinner. But I figure we gotta start someplace.” With that, he covered her mouth.
His brush of lips, a taste of tongue made for a nice, easy thrill in the belly. The feeling had her dropping into the kiss, a gentle glide into pleasure, a pleasure long absent. It had been a very long time since she’d locked lips with anyone, least of all a hunky, suicidal ex-soldier.
Cord felt her surrender to the dance of his tongue, felt her body revving up. Knowing he could do that to her, elated him. But at the same time, it felt he might be moving too fast here. Was he really ready to move past Cassie?
He pulled back and admitted, “I’m a little out of practice.”
“Mmm,” Keegan purred, her eyes drifted up to his. “That was…fine,” she finally managed.
“Just what every guy longs to hear…” He chuckled and grinned at her. “…fine?”
“I didn’t mean…”
He couldn’t stop staring at her eyes. The look of want he saw there ended whatever indecision churned in his gut.
“Let’s try this again,” he offered as he tilted his head and took her mouth again. This time there was nothing gentle about it.
The sizzle and fire went straight through her system. Cord took her under and she felt like she wanted to float, drift all the way into lust.
When they came up for air, Cord rested his forehead on hers. “Better?”
“Ah, yeah. I’d say it came back to you.”
He couldn’t help himself, looking at her with that unmistakable air of desire settled in her eyes, it made him feel lightheaded, almost giddy.
Feeling awkward, Keegan cleared her throat. “How about instead of me coming out here for dinner tomorrow night you come to my place instead? You’ll be in town anyway and I could give you a tour of the center. I should probably mention though I’m a vegetarian.”
“You don’t eat meat? At all?”
“No.”
“Not even bacon?”
She chortled. “I’m pretty sure that’s a pig. I don’t eat red meat, chicken, or fish.”
“What’s left?”
“Pasta, cheese pizza, an assortment of casseroles. I’m not a vegan; I do eat free-range eggs and dairy. I just don’t eat meat.”
“How long have you had this condition?”
“Since coming to live with my grandparents. They were vegetarians. They worked around animals, Cord. They didn’t believe in eating animals for food. Is it a problem?”
“I’ve never known a vegetarian before, that’s all. Did you mean what you said earlier? If I feel weird, or sad, you wouldn’t mind if I called you—to talk?”
“I meant it.”
“Good. Then I guess I’ll see you tomorrow night.”
“Okay.”
He chuckled.
“What?”
“I don’t really want to get out of the truck and go inside that empty house.”
“Then don’t. We could talk now. Why don’t you tell me about Cassie?”
“You want me to talk about Cassie? Now? We’re practically on our first date here. I might be out of practice but I think that’s a dating-code violation.”
“Normally I’d agree. But earlier you seemed almost happy when you mentioned her. Maybe it will make you feel less lonely.”
“Wow, you make me sound like the perfect catch. Not.”
“Maybe now is a good time to admit I’ve been out of sorts myself lat
ely. I don’t think this is a perfect scenario for either one of us.”
He remembered what Scott had told him in the barn. She too, had suffered loss. He glided a finger down her jaw. “You’re missing the people who raised you. That has to hurt.”
“I feel like a part of me is gone. That’s how you feel, isn’t it?”
He nodded.
“There’s something else to consider. In a town the size of Pelican Pointe, what if we decide to go out and then it gets awkward when one of us decides to end it. What happens then?”
“Talking about ending something before it ever gets started is…not a good sign. Besides, I’ve been here four months and I never met you until Friday night.”
“Point taken. But that is what you want, right? To date?”
“I was considering it. But you make it sound downright unappealing.”
“We could start out slow then…start as friends, maybe.”
“Ouch. Friends. Okay, maybe that’s all I can handle right now anyway. I could use a friend.”
“Then tell me about Cassie. How did the two of you meet?”
He blew out a breath. “I was between tours one and two at the time. The night we met I was helping out a buddy of mine by picking up extra cash working a security detail at a concert in Leesburg, Virginia. My buddy, Paul Angleton, his family owns a security company. Anyway, Paul assigned me to a Third Day concert. Cassie was there that night with a bunch of her girlfriends. She seemed more interested in me than the music. We started talking, exchanged phone numbers. I didn’t find out until after it all happened that she had a crazy ex-boyfriend. But then we didn’t bump up our relationship until I got back from my second tour. Maybe that’s the reason she didn’t level with me. But then on my third tour, my leg got fucked up…”
He gave her an apologetic look. “Sorry, I mean my leg was messed up.”
“You were injured?”
He nodded. “The same day Captain Phillips died, the same day Nick almost didn’t make it to the field hospital.”
“What happened?”
“An IED blew up the Hummer we were riding in, out in the middle of nowhere. I wasn’t hurt as bad though, not like Phillips and Harris. After all, I just had pieces of shrapnel in my leg. Stupid me, I thought for sure Cassie wouldn’t want me now that I was wounded and having trouble getting around.”
Dancing Tides Page 10
