by Deja King
After I could no longer duck Chandler in school, we had one last conversation. Well, it was more like she talked and I listened. After cornering me at my locker, she said bitterly, “I know you’re fucking Trey, but now he’s all yours. I refuse to share my man with some snotty Lolita who doesn’t know how to keep her legs closed.” With a devilish grin spread across her flawless face, she added, “By the way, I told Trey how old you really are. Tootles, bitch.” As she turned her back to walk away, she tossed her long black hair in my face and sashayed down the hallway like she owned the place.
When I got home, Trey called and asked if he could come over to talk. I wasn’t in the mood but agreed. The first question he asked as we sat on my bed was, “Why didn’t you tell me how old you were?”
“Because you didn’t ask.”
“I assumed that since you were at a college function you were at least legal.”
“I will be in a few months, but if you don’t want to wait I totally understand.” But I wanted to be with Trey now. Throughout this whole episode with Chandler we hadn’t been intimate, and seeing him looking so sexy, I definitely wanted our relationship to continue.
“Well, what do you want to do?” he asked, sounding the same way I felt.
“It’s up to you.” When he reached over and began kissing me and rubbing his hand on my breast, I knew it meant the waiting wasn’t necessary. Luckily my parents weren’t home, because Trey and I immediately started catching up on lost time. From that day forward Trey and I were boyfriend and girlfriend.
In the beginning everything was new and exciting. I had never been with a guy like Trey before. He came into my life at a point when school, my friends, and my life in general were boring to me. He was like a head rush, and it was very addictive. We were glued at the hip. Most days I would hang out with him on the Clark Atlanta campus. Although I had only a learner’s permit, my parents had gotten me a car, and I would drive myself to and from school. Whenever possible, I skipped classes to be with Trey. Hanging with him was more interesting than anything they were teaching me at school. To this day I still wonder how I was able to make decent grades and graduate. I even dropped out of the drama club. Although I still dreamed of being an actress someday, meeting four days a week for rehearsals interfered with my blossoming relationship with Trey.
On the rare occasion when Mother had time for me, we went to the Ritz-Carlton for Sunday brunch. Ever since I found out Daddy was physically abusive toward Mother, our relationship had been strained and we rarely talked about what was going on in each other’s life. “So how’s Chad doing?” Mother asked, unaware we had broken up a couple of months earlier.
“Chad and I aren’t together anymore.”
“Oh, you’ll be back together. Did you have a little spat?”
“No, actually, I have a new boyfriend.”
Mother looked at me suspiciously. “New boyfriend? I haven’t met him. Does he go to your school?”
“Actually he attends Clark University,” I said, all perky because I was proud to have a college boyfriend. Plus there was no need to lie and tell her he went to one of the local high schools. Mother knew the parents of just about all the students that she felt came from respectable families.
“He’s in college.” She paused. “Isn’t that a little old for you?”
I lied and said he was only a freshman and had just turned eighteen.
“Would you like to see a picture of him?” Trey had given me a college calendar, for which he had posed for the month of April. I had it in my tote bag and was anxious to get Mother’s reaction.
“Sure, honey,” she said nonchalantly. I reached in my tote bag, pulled out the calendar, and flipped to Trey’s picture. Mother’s mouth dropped, and I knew she wasn’t pleased. Trey was wearing a cream linen suit that complemented his light reddish skin, and he had a gun tucked inside his pants. I got a kick watching Mother’s expression. I was proud to tell Mother this pretty boy was my new boyfriend. But she liked to have died.
“He is nothing but the devil, and you need to stay away from him,” she said, fear in her voice. Of course, instead making me afraid, her reaction added to my excitement, and I wanted to be with Trey more than ever. After getting Mother riled up over my personal life, I decided to take the conversation in a different direction.
“Mother, can I ask you something?”
“Of course, dear. What is it?” she said, reading her paper.
“Where is my father?”
“Honey, I told you he had to go to San Francisco on business,” Mother said, not taking her eyes off the paper.
“I’m talking about my real father, my biological one.”
Mother put the paper down and looked at me. “Now why would you ask me where he is? Who cares? Haven’t you had a wonderful life? Michael has been a fantastic father to you,” she said, sounding upset.
“Yes, he has, but he still isn’t my real father. Why hasn’t my real daddy, Carter, ever come back for Ella and me? Doesn’t he want to know how we are?”
“No! Carter doesn’t care about you or Ella. I didn’t want to tell you this, Tyler, but I reached out to your father, and he told me he had moved on and didn’t want anything to do with you or your sister.”
“What? But why? When I was little he was so sweet to me.”
“You’re not little anymore, and he doesn’t want to be bothered. Honey, I’m sorry to be so cruel, but you have to get this fantasy about how wonderful your father is out of your head. He has always been irresponsible and never wanted to provide a good life for you and your sister. Michael is your father and always will be.”
Mother’s words crushed me. The only thing that had given me some solace was my belief that my real father had never come back for us because he didn’t know where we were. To learn that he had turned his back on Ella and me was devastating. I couldn’t help but feel that something must be wrong with me if my own father didn’t want me.
Just as I grabbed my denim jacket and purse and got ready to head out to meet Lisa at the mall, the phone rang. “Hello,” I said in a rushed voice.
“Hi, Tyler, are you busy?” I was surprised to hear Chad’s voice. We hadn’t spoken in over a month.
“No, how have you been?”
“Great. Just trying to get everything in order for college. I was actually calling to see if you would still go to the senior prom with me.” He rushed the question as if he knew I was on my way out the door. “I know we’re not together anymore, but I don’t have anyone to go with.”
“Oh, Chad, please, any girl would die to be your date for the prom.”
“Yeah, maybe, but they wouldn’t be you. Tyler, I’d really love it if you’d come, as friends of course.”
“I would love to go.” Although that wasn’t exactly true.
“Wonderful. It’s next Saturday, and I’ll pick you up around seven.” Chad quickly hung up, as if he thought I might change my mind. But I had no intention of doing that. I was looking forward to getting all dolled up and buying a new dress, but more than that I felt a sense of obligation to attend the event with Chad. I couldn’t erase the sad look in his eyes the day I told him our relationship was over. I could’ve been more sensitive, and I hoped that attending the prom with him would ease my stillguilty conscience. I decided not to tell Trey, because he would be less than thrilled if he knew I was going on a date with my ex-boyfriend.
Mother was delighted to hear I was going to the prom with Chad. We went to Neiman Marcus to pick out a dress. As I tried on a beautiful white lace dress that hugged my curves in all the right places and dipped in the front, giving me an enticing cleavage, Mother beamed. “That’s the one. You look beautiful, my little princess.” Mother hadn’t called me that in a long time, and it brought chills to know she still felt that way.
“Darling, I’m ecstatic you’re getting back with Chad; he is a wonderful young man.”
“Mother, Chad and I aren’t back together. I only agreed to go to the prom with h
im; nothing more, nothing less.”
“I just assumed you were over your fixation with that Trey character and were now thinking about your future.”
“Mother, I’m only fifteen; I have plenty of time to think about my future.”
“Time flies sooner than you think. If I’d planned ahead, I would’ve never wasted all those years with your father. Don’t make the same mistake I did. Chad is a great catch. He is either going to be a professional football player or an attorney, so you know he will be a wonderful provider. He comes from an excellent family, and he’s a very handsome young man. Tyler, you would be a fool not to stick it out with him. If you want to have meaningless dalliances with that Trey character, so be it, but by no means take him or the relationship seriously.”
As Mother paid for my dress, I thought about what she’d said. Maybe I should stick it out with Chad. He was a wonderful guy and my first love. Trey was fun, but I wasn’t sure if he was the type of guy I could be with on a long-term basis. Chad was boring, but he was also going off to college in a couple of months so I wouldn’t have to deal with him on an everyday basis. I could always see Trey on the side.
When Mother and I got back from shopping, we noticed an unfamiliar car parked in front of one of the garages. Daddy was out of town and Ella was away at college, so we couldn’t imagine who it could be. Mother pulled up beside the vehicle, but no one was inside. “Are you expecting a visitor, Tyler?”
“No. I don’t know whose car that is.”
“Maybe it’s one of those door-to-door salespeople. Don’t they have laws against such harassment?” Mother said, annoyed that she might have to talk to a stranger. We gathered our bags and made our way to the front door. The tall man in a suit was standing with his back turned to us. “I told you it was one of those salespeople,” Mother said, exasperated. “Whatever you’re selling, we’re not buying, sir, so please excuse yourself.”
“I’m not selling anything. I came to pay my family a visit.” I dropped the bags that were in my hand when the man faced us. He was ten years older, but his eyes were still the same.
“What the hell are you doing here, Evan?” Mother screamed. “I want you off this property right now or I’ll call the police!”
“That won’t be necessary. Don’t I have a right to see my father?” Evan directed his question toward me, and I put my head down, not wanting to see his face. I couldn’t believe Evan was standing at our doorstep as if he hadn’t tried to rob me of my innocence ten years earlier.
“Your father isn’t here, and if he was, I doubt he would want to see your face. Remember, he is the one who disowned you,” Mother said.
“How can I forget?” he said in an unremorseful tone. “I’m sure that must please you, Maria. Now you and your two little princesses can keep my father’s money all to yourself.” Even with Evan’s model-perfect, chiseled face and smooth coffee-colored skin, there was no escaping the evilness that his eyes possessed. He had the same lean, muscular build of his father, but for all of his physical attributes, underneath lived a monster.
“Is that what this is about? You want money?” Mother said, visibly upset.
“I’m blood; if anyone deserves his money, it’s me. Not some money-hungry woman and her two bratty daughters,” Evan said smugly.
“You bastard,” I said, furious. “The reason you don’t have your father’s money is because you tried to molest a little girl. You almost destroyed my life. I still have nightmares. I can’t believe you have the audacity to show up here after what you did. You belong in jail—or better yet, dead—for what you put me through.”
“Tyler, relax. It’s okay.” Mother was trying to calm me down, but it wasn’t working.
“No, it’s not okay! I prayed I would never have to see your despicable face again, but here you are. Looking like the same evil snake you were ten years ago. You haven’t changed. You’re still the sick prick you’ve always been.”
“Evan, get in your car and never come back here again. When Michael finds out you were here, he’ll be furious, and you better hope he doesn’t come looking for you to finish what I stopped.” Mother was holding her cell phone, prepared to dial 911.
“I’m leaving, Maria, but you haven’t heard the last of me. I don’t know when, but your family will pay for what you took away from me.”
“Don’t you threaten my family, you sonofabitch! I should’ve let your father kill you.”
“Should’ve, could’ve, would’ve, but I’m very much alive. Remember that.” Evan walked past us toward his car. For a second I thought about picking up a tall vase and slamming it over his head, but decided against it. “Oh, by the way, Tyler, you’ve grown up to be such a beautiful young lady. But then you were certainly a beautiful little girl.”
Mother and I watched Evan walk away, hoping he would never come back.
When Chad picked me up for the prom, he looked gorgeous. Both of us wore white, and we looked like the African American version of Ken and Barbie. It took us twenty minutes just to get out the door because Mother wouldn’t stop taking pictures. When we arrived at the Peachtree Plaza for the prom, the ballroom was decorated beautifully, with orchids and roses everywhere. Monica’s “Before You Walk Out of My Life” was playing, and Chad took my hand and led me to the dance floor. As he put his hands around my waist and we swayed to the music, he pulled me closer, as though he never wanted to let go. For a moment it seemed like old times.
The prom wound down, and Chad asked me to go upstairs to his suite for a drink. When we got upstairs, he pulled out a bottle of champagne, poured me a glass, and tuned the radio to 107.9. We chatted about the college he’d decided to attend and how happy he was to get a full scholarship. I got caught up in the moment and had a slight buzz from the champagne, so when Chad kissed me, I kissed him back. But when he unzipped the back of my dress, I gently pushed him away. “This isn’t right.”
“What are you talking about? Nothing could be more right. Tyler, we belong together,” he said as he continued to kiss my neck.
Pushing him away, I huffed, “That may be true, but not now, not like this. I need time, Chad.”
“Time for what?” he said, anger creeping across his face.
“To think things over.”
“What fucking things, Tyler?” he asked as he grabbed my arm.
“Chad, you’re hurting me; let go of my arm.” I tried to break free, but he was too strong. The look in Chad’s eyes was scaring me. It was a look I could never erase from my mind—depraved and full of rage. It was the same look I had seen in Evan’s eyes ten years ago. I shook my head in disbelief; it wasn’t possible for Chad to be that sort of monster.
“Chad, please let me go; you’re hurting my arm,” I repeated. But Chad’s eyes were empty. It was as if he had zoned out. I decided to make my getaway. Looking around, I didn’t see anything within reach that I could pick up and hit Chad with; so I swung my left arm with all my strength and hit Chad in his neck, knocking him off balance. He fell back, releasing me, and I made a dash toward the door.
As I reached for the doorknob, I heard, “Tyler, where the fuck do you think you’re going?” My neck snapped back as Chad grabbed me by my hair, and I fell to the floor.
Within seconds Chad was on top of me, ripping off the beautiful dress Mother had bought me. “No! Chad, please stop! You don’t want to do this, please!” I begged to no avail. It was like he was possessed and there was no bringing him back. I screamed at the top of my lungs, but my cries were drowned out by the music playing on the radio. Even so, Chad put his hand over my mouth.
“No one can hear you, Tyler. I have you all to myself. You used to let me make love to you, but I guess now you want me to take it.” I lay in the middle of the hotel suite pinned to the floor. As I felt Chad spread my legs apart and rip off my panties, I couldn’t believe this was happening to me again. But this time there was no Daddy coming to the rescue. My eyes filled with tears as Chad jammed his dick inside of me and pounded me over
and over again, releasing all the hatred he had inside. After what seemed like a lifetime, Chad finally let out a loud moan. His heavy body felt like a car rolling over my foot. But my energy was so drained that I didn’t have the strength to try to move him off. I could see the sweat trickling down the side of Chad’s neck, and after five more minutes of intense breathing he finally rolled off me and stood up. As he zipped up his pants, he gave me the glance-over and shrieked, “Why did you make me do this, Tyler? It didn’t have to be this way.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. Chad was blaming me for the rape he had just committed. “You sick bastard! You just raped me, and you have the nerve to stand there and blame me!”
Chad walked toward me and knelt down on the floor I was still lying on. “Don’t you ever say that again. I didn’t rape you. This was a lovers’ quarrel that got out of hand.”
“Is that the lie you’re running with? Because a ripped dress, torn panties, and bruises on my arms and thighs all symbolize rape to me, you sonofabitch.” My attitude had now shifted from fear and pain to relentless anger. I stood up, looking at my destroyed dress and bruised body. “Chad, you will not get away with this. I’m going to tell my parents, and they will no doubt report you to the police.”
“Yeah, you do that, Tyler, and I’ll let everyone know what a whore you are.”
“Whore?” I shouted. “You raped me!”
“So you say, but I could tell the police you like it rough. What do you think people will say when they find out you have a boyfriend but went to the prom with your ex? You need to think long and hard before you start throwing around accusations.”
“These aren’t accusations; they are facts, and the fact is that you raped me, do you hear me?” My voice cracked as I got louder and louder.
“Well, you go right ahead, but by the time you make it to court, everyone will know that sweet little Tyler is nothing but a freak. Fucking a grown-ass man and fucking me too; no one will feel sorry for you. They will think you are nothing but a hot-ass bitch who has no self-control. Your boyfriend will be brought up on statutory rape charges, and your family will be embarrassed and disgraced.”
