It’s no use worrying about the life you can’t have . . .
‘You’re going to be fine, Tilly,’ murmured Gemma close to my ear.
I pulled away, squared my shoulder and gave her a bright smile. ‘Right. I’m off. Definitely.’
And with a backward glance at Aidan, I set off into the night for a second time.
Chapter 12
Nerves steered me towards the loos again first and then I skirted the pavilion and walked to the road. This time, without the panic to reach the shed ahead of Aidan, I took the walk at a much more ladylike pace. The downside to this was that my brain had time to take in my surroundings: it was cold and silent, the only sound being the echo of my boots, clip-clopping eerily along the tarmac and the occasional rustle of the trees. I shivered and walked faster. What this outfit lacked, I realized, was a swirling purple cape to keep me warm. The sooner I could light those candles and wrap myself in my picnic blanket the better. I glanced behind me for any sign of Aidan, but the road was empty.
Still chatting, no doubt. I smiled to myself. It was a pity he hadn’t noticed me leave really, then he could have made his excuses and escaped immediately. Oh well, he would join me soon, I was sure.
I’d waited so long for this moment and I couldn’t wait to feel his arms around me again away from the well-meaning but curious eyes of the Ivy Lane community. I was thrilled with myself for taking the lead and concocting this plan. There was something exciting about a secret rendezvous and no better way to show Aidan that he was special to me. My heart was already fluttering in anticipation.
I stepped off the road and onto the grass path that lead along plot sixteen to my shed. The sound of a stick cracking in the trees beyond my plot made me yelp with shock and I pressed a hand to my mouth.
For goodness sake, Tilly, it was probably just a fox.
I forced myself to breathe calmly but then instantly stopped in my tracks and stared ahead. There was an orange glow shining through my shed window. I had definitely not left a candle burning; I distinctly remember being in the dark. Which meant that someone else must have done it.
Oh my God. This was so spooky. My entire body was trembling and bristling with goose pimples. I had the urge to run. But which direction, towards the shed or away?
A nervous laugh bubbled up through me and I shook my head. All this Hallowe’en nonsense was making me overreact. It must be Aidan in the shed! He must have followed me immediately after all and arrived while I was at the toilets.
‘Phew,’ I said aloud and darted to the shed. The key on its string banged against my chest as I ran. Oh, how had he opened the door? I tutted at myself. I had obviously forgotten to lock it.
I paused at the door to compose myself, dabbed under my eyes to remove any smudged make-up and ran my fingers through the ends of my hair to smooth it over my shoulders. A smile spread across my face as my fingers wrapped around the door handle.
This is it. A new chapter. Go for it, Tilly Parker.
The smile, which was probably more accurately a radiant beam, was still going strong as I pushed my way into the shed with a triumphant, ‘Ta dah!’
The shed was empty. My face crumpled in confusion as I turned towards the source of the light. At the far end of the shed three pumpkin lanterns adorned my little table, but the sides facing outwards weren’t carved. With a pounding heart I twisted each one round. The first had simply the letter ‘I’ carved out of it, the second a loveheart and the third the word ‘you’.
I love you.
I stared at the message, my brain whirring and my heart thumping. Aidan loved me? This was all moving very fast, surely we weren’t at the stage for this sort of declaration? It was an incredibly romantic thing to do, not to mention complicated to organize. And regardless of whether the timing was right or not, I was truly touched by the effort he had gone to.
Maybe I was reading too much into it. Perhaps I wasn’t supposed to take it too literally. Perhaps that had just been easier than carving ‘would you like to go for dinner?’ Of course, that would be it, I chuckled to myself with relief. As my eyes adjusted to the light, I noticed a piece of folded paper. A note. I picked it up. It was the note I’d left for Aidan. But where was he?
I was still holding it between my fingers when the door behind me opened softly.
I whirled round, my pulse racing to see Aidan with a warm smile, his eyes crinkling with humour.
‘My hat’s too tall to get under the doorframe.’ He took off his pointed hat, stepped through the doorway and in two strides was standing right in front of me.
‘Thank goodness, I was wondering where you’d got to.’
He chuckled. ‘Well, the bad news is, you didn’t win the fancy dress competition.’
‘Ah,’ I pouted. ‘Who did?’
‘Gemma. She looked so jolly and pumpkin-like, I had to give it to her. But I did choose your pumpkin as the winner. That Moroccan design was incredible.’
‘Hayley’s. Not mine.’ I grinned. ‘I wanted her to win.’
‘Oh!’ His face softened. ‘You’re all heart.’
We stared at each other and I held my breath, savouring the nearness of him, his delicious smell, his eyes, his rumpled hair. It was all I could do not to jump into his arms.
‘Hello, you,’ he murmured. His eyes flicked to the pumpkins briefly and then back to me and I almost said something there and then, but the electricity between us was flying and I couldn’t bring myself to break the spell.
His brown eyes gazed at me as he lowered his head to mine. Suddenly I couldn’t wait any longer and I let the note flutter to the floor. I plunged my hands into his hair and brought his lips to meet mine. I kissed him hard with a newly found confidence and immediately he returned my kiss, looping his arms around the small of my back, lifting me, pulling me into him so that our bodies were practically one. Still wanting to be closer, I guided him backwards, towards the side of the shed until he was leaning against the wall. I pressed myself against him until I heard him groan with pleasure.
Breathless, my body on fire with desire, I pulled back, a smile playing on my lips.
‘Don’t look now,’ I murmured, ‘but I think I just made your toes curl!’
We giggled as he wriggled his silver slippers.
‘Thank you for that welcome,’ he said with a soft laugh.
I think I’d shocked him. I’d shocked myself, come to that.
‘Thank you for the message,’ I whispered, grazing my lips against his stubble as I planted a row of kisses along his jawline.
‘What message?’ He slipped my hat off and brushed my hair off my face with his fingers.
‘The pumpkins.’ I pressed my lips together in a cheeky smile. ‘Rather forward, I thought.’
A cloud passed over his face and his hands slipped from my hair. He straightened up and I stepped back from him. The hairs on the back of my neck tingled and I instinctively knew I’d said the wrong thing.
‘Nothing to do with me.’ He frowned. ‘In fact, I was thinking the same thing. I assumed you had carved them.’
I swallowed. Someone else had been in my shed. Who? Hayley, Mia or Gemma? But they would have told me, besides which they couldn’t have brought any extra pumpkins here without me knowing. Which only left . . . My heart sank. It had to be Charlie.
I sighed and rolled my eyes. ‘Look, it’ll just be Charlie, messing about . . .’
Aidan fixed me with a stare. ‘Charlie? That figures.’
‘But you got my note. Look!’ I picked up the piece of paper from the floor and handed it to him.
‘Meet me in the shed, plot sixteen B, kiss,’ he read. He frowned at me and shrugged. ‘I’ve never seen this.’
The humour had completely disappeared from his face and the kiss we had shared already seemed like a lifetime ago.
‘So why come to the shed?’ I asked.
‘Gemma sent me. She said you’d get hypothermia if I didn’t hurry up. I didn’t even know you were waiting for me.
’
I placed my hands on his chest tentatively, desperate to undo the damage of the last few seconds. ‘Look,’ I said softly, ‘there’s just been a bit of a mix-up, that’s all. We’re both here now so—’
‘It’s always Charlie, isn’t it?’ he said sadly, peeling my hands from him. Our fingers were loosely entwined but I didn’t dare tighten my grasp.
‘I told you there’s nothing between him and me. Don’t you believe me?’
‘“It’s complicated” – that’s what you said to me last time we met.’ He sighed and shook his head. ‘Maybe if your life is so complicated, there’s just no room in it for me.’ He folded his arms and looked at his feet.
So this was it. Our love affair, cut short before it even had a chance to grow.
‘Few delights can equal the presence of one whom we trust utterly,’ I quoted my calendar from weeks ago. His unblinking eyes met mine, desire replaced by disappointment. ‘And you don’t trust me, do you, Aidan?’
I couldn’t bear to hear his response. I darted back out into the night and ran.
My heart didn’t stop racing until I was back in the pavilion. I spotted Gemma, chomping her way through a cake-pop decorated to look like an eyeball.
‘You look shattered,’ I said, pulling her to her feet. ‘Let’s go home.’
Gemma took one look at my face and marched me to the car. Well, she marched, I stumbled with tears blinding my eyes.
We climbed in and as she put the key in the ignition she turned to face me.
‘Not here,’ I said, before she could speak. ‘Just drive.’
Less than five minutes later we pulled up outside my house in Wellington Street.
She turned off the engine. ‘So?’
I gazed at my best friend. Poor Gemma, I bet she was dying to be at home with Mike, putting her feet up in front of the fire. Instead, she was in a car that hadn’t been moving long enough to warm up, forced to have a heart-to-heart with the most depressed witch in Kingsfield.
I let out a big shuddering sigh and filled her in. About the ‘I love you’ pumpkins, the mess-up with the note, the kiss that was so intense that I thought I would faint in his arms, and then the harsh words and the look he gave me that I would never forget.
‘I’m so sorry,’ said Gemma, reaching for my hand. ‘But do you know what? It’s his loss.’
She jumped suddenly. ‘Ooh, baby’s kicking.’
I stared at her bump. ‘May I feel it?’
‘Of course, she laughed. ‘I’d have suggested it before now,’ she said, guiding my hand to her side, ‘but I wasn’t sure how you’d feel.’
The baby moved under my hand. ‘Wow!’ I beamed at Gemma. ‘That’s quite sharp!’
She raised her eyebrows. ‘Tell me about it!’
The car windows were beginning to steam up and she turned the engine back on to de-mist them.
‘I’m scared, you know.’ She turned her blue eyes to me. ‘I’m so much older than I was when I had Mia.’
‘You’re only in your early thirties, that’s young by most people’s standards.’
‘Suppose. But what if there are complications? What if something goes wrong? Do you know, I haven’t even dared buy any baby clothes yet. Me and Mike have been and bought all the equipment, but . . .’ She sighed.
I’d been a terrible friend these past few months, I realized. Too wrapped up in my own problems to pick up on her worries. That was going to change, I decided, however painful it would be to be around her when this baby was due, I would support her every step of the way.
‘I’ll come baby clothes shopping with you,’ I said quietly. ‘I’d like to.’
‘Oh Tilly, thank you. I’d love that!’ She beamed at me. ‘I wanted to ask but I thought you might not want to.’
I kept my hand where it was as the baby continued to push against me. ‘I’m scared too, Gem. Scared it might never happen for me. It seems like a lifetime ago now that I was pregnant. I never got the chance to feel my baby moving like this.’
‘Look,’ she placed her hand over mine, ‘it will happen. You’ve come so far this year. You’ve changed so much since I met you.’
‘Have I? Have I really?’
I gazed out of the window at my rented house. It was exactly two months until New Year’s Eve. Last year, I had just moved in and I spent the night alone, listening to the fireworks and the parties and the celebrations going on around me. Would I have to do that again this year?
The prospect made me shudder.
Gemma squeezed my fingers and I turned to face her. ‘Of course you have. You’ve opened your heart up to people and it’s obvious just how much happier you are. You will fall in love again. I promise.’
I thought about Aidan’s handsome face, his lips as they grazed mine, the way his arms had held me close. I smiled bravely at her as tears pricked at my eyes.
She was right. I had already fallen in love. Was it asking for too much if I put Aidan Whitby on my Christmas List, I wondered?
‘Oh, knickers!’ Gemma winced, pulling me back into the moment. ‘I’m suddenly absolutely desperate for the loo, do you mind if I come in?’
The two of us scurried along the path and I let her in to the house as quickly as I could.
Gemma waddled upstairs to the bathroom as fast as her pumpkin costume would allow and I went into the kitchen to put the kettle on. The phone began to ring and I smiled to myself. That mother of mine must be psychic, not to mention ultra-keen to talk to me.
‘Hello again, Mum.’
‘Tilly . . . how do you always know it’s me?’
‘Just a good guess,’ I laughed. I tucked the phone under my chin and took two mugs out of the cupboard. ‘What can I do for you?’
‘Darling, there’s something important I need to tell you. The thing is—’
‘Oh my goodness!’ I gasped, removing the phone from my ear and pressing it to my chest.
I stared at Gemma who had appeared in the kitchen doorway, her fingers gripping the door frame. She had removed her pumpkin costume and was wearing just a black T-shirt and leggings. But it wasn’t her outfit that had caused me to gasp; she looked terrified and all the colour had drained from her face.
‘Gemma, what’s wrong?’
I watched in horror as my best friend’s face crumpled and she began to sob.
‘I’m bleeding, Tilly.’ She gazed up at me as her whole body began to shake. ‘I’m bleeding a lot. What if I’m losing the baby?’
My eyes filled with tears and my mouth had gone totally dry. I licked my lips before putting the phone back to my ear. ‘Mum, I’m so sorry, Gemma’s ill, I’ve got to go. I’ll call you tomorrow.’
I dropped the phone back into its cradle and lunged towards Gemma just as she collapsed to the floor.
‘Call an ambulance, Tills,’ she groaned.
‘Just hold on, Gemma,’ I pleaded, wrapping one arm around her and reaching for my mobile phone with the other. ‘Just hold on.’
I was going to have to get her to hospital, and fast. If there was anyone who understood just how precarious life was, it was me. And after all that Gemma had done for me this year, there was no way I was going to let her lose this baby.
THE END OF PART THREE . . .
Continue the story in Winter – Part 4
Hope thrives at Ivy Lane . . .
As winter descends on Ivy Lane, the frost sparkles and icy winds flurry – but Tilly is still reeling from the events of the Hallowe’en party. Only the die-hard plot holders brave the cold weather, and Tilly fears the loneliness that gripped her a year ago will return.
Resolute to stay cheerful, she throws herself into organizing both the inaugural Ivy Lane Great Cake Competition and the Christmas Party, and even squeezes in a little match-making along the way.
Surrounded by her friends at the Christmas Party, Tilly has come a long way in a year. She can feel her own heart slowly melting, but who will be waiting under the mistletoe?
The final par
t in the Ivy Lane story, an uplifting novel you can devour in bite-size pieces, wholesome and heart-warming to the core.
Cathy’s Autumn Recipes
Cinnamon Apple Cake
Autumn Roast Vegetables
Chocolate Chip Cookies
Cinnamon Apple Cake
This cake never fails to deliver: it looks delicious, tastes heavenly and is so simple to make that I (almost) feel guilty accepting praise for it! Eat it warm with thick double cream, or at room temperature on its own. It keeps very well although you won’t have to worry about that!
You will need . . .
225g cooking apples (my mum likes to grate half of the apple, but I chop mine)
juice of half a lemon
225g plain flour
1.5 teaspoons baking powder
2 teaspoons cinnamon
115g butter
165g soft brown sugar
1 beaten egg
30–45ml milk
Preheat oven to 180 degrees Celsius, 350 Fahrenheit or gas mark 4. Grease an 18cm round cake tin and line with baking parchment.
Peel, core and finely chop the apple, then toss with the lemon juice and set aside. (My mum likes to grate half of the apple.) Sift flour and baking powder then rub in butter until it resembles breadcrumbs. Sprinkle in 1 teaspoon of cinnamon. Stir in 115g of the brown sugar (keeping 50g aside), then the apple and egg and mix well, adding enough milk to form a soft dropping consistency.
Pour the batter into the tin. Mix the remaining 50g sugar with cinnamon – sprinkle this over the cake mixture. Bake for 45–50 minutes until golden. Leave to cool for 10 minutes in the tin before transferring to wire rack. By now the kitchen will be full of people all waiting eagerly for a slice!
Autumn Roast Vegetables
You can serve this on its own as a warming supper dish on a chilly night, as an accompaniment to a roast dinner, or even nestle some good quality sausages amongst the veg to turn it into a one-pot family feast! To ensure your veggies behave nicely, use a good non-stick roasting tray, which is not too deep.
Ivy Lane: Autumn: Part 3 Page 9
