by James, Leigh
“Of course you can. I like waiting on my two favorite guys.” I started making the sandwiches and listened to them talk.
“How did it go?” John asked his father. “And tell me the truth, please.”
“I always do,” Ian said. “I’m pleased to say that it went better than expected. Catherine agreed to let me come into her room and we spent a little time together. She talked to me for a while and she was actually very pleasant. I made a point of avoiding any topics that were contentious; we seemed to have an unspoken agreement about that. She left it that she would stay in touch with us, letting us know she was okay from time to time.”
“She did?” John asked, sounding surprised. She did? I thought, feeling surprised. That’s not what Ian had said earlier. In fact, he’d said that when he pressed her about it, Catherine told him she wasn’t going to discuss the future.
“She did,” Ian said, looking happily at his sandwich when I served him. “I think it went very well. Much better than I expected.”
“How was she with you?” he asked me, shoveling his sandwich into his mouth. Note to self: Must keep John fed, I thought. He’s always less edgy with some food in front of him.
“Much better than expected,” I said, echoing Ian, trying to sound positive. “She was at least civil. She said goodbye to me and everything.”
“That’s good,” John said. “It’s probably better that I wasn’t there. I just seem to set her off.”
“No, that’s usually me,” I said, shaking my head. “But she really did seem okay. Better, anyway.”
“What’d Eva have to say?” John asked.
“Not too much. She seemed to think Catherine was doing better as well,” Ian said, lying through his teeth.
“Good,” John said, and kept eating his sandwich. “Surprising, but good.”
I cornered Ian while John was doing the dishes. “She’s going to stay in touch? Really, Ian? What’re we going to do when she doesn’t call for three months straight? John’s gonna freak, and he’s going to go back down there!”
Ian patted my hand. “There, there, dear. You must remember that I’ve been managing John for a lot longer than you. Give me a little credit,” he said, and smiled at me. “I wouldn’t risk his sanity or ours like that. Catherine has agreed to stay in touch with Eva. Eva texted me a little while ago. She promised that she was going to tell us everything, verbatim, even though Catherine has strictly forbidden it. That was one of her conditions with her mother. Eva agreed, but she didn’t mean it. She wants John involved one hundred percent.”
“She doesn’t want Catherine to go back down there,” I said.
Ian nodded. “But she knows she doesn’t have a choice. So she’s doing whatever Catherine asks, just hoping that she’ll stay in touch. But John doesn’t need to know the details of your conversation with Catherine — ever. Don’t you agree?”
“I agree,” I said. “He doesn’t need his heart broken any more than it already has been.”
“It’s a good thing you’re here,” Ian said again, smiling at me kindly. “I wouldn’t be able to manage him without you. You make everything better. ”
“Usually after I make it worse first,” I mumbled, patting him on the shoulder and heading upstairs.
I brushed my teeth and flopped onto the bed next to John. He was wearing his glasses, which I found adorable, and reading an enormous Robert Ludlum paperback.
“What’s that?” I asked.
“A spy novel,” he said. “It’s very technical. I find it relaxing.”
“Right,” I said, and snuggled against him. “Is it okay that I’m too tired to get naked with you?” I asked, yawning.
“I thought you said I could have whatever I wanted,” he said, taking off his reading glasses and putting down his book.
“You can,” I said, and smiled up at him. “All of a sudden, I’m not that tired anymore.”
I kissed him and I felt him rise up against me, swiftly.
He kissed me, deeply, then pulled back to look at me. He brushed the hair back off my face.
“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he said, stroking my cheek. “The only reason I’m okay right now is because you’re here with me.”
“You probably would be fine,” I said, and I found I was mumbling again. “Because I’m the one who got you into this mess in the first place.”
He sat up and sighed. He took my face squarely in his hands and looked into my eyes. “Liberty, enough. We’ve been over this. Even though things didn’t work out like I hoped, I am more relieved than you’ll ever know that Catherine is alive. She’s okay. She’s not doing what I wish she was doing, but she is okay.
“The fact that I know that now…you’ve given me the best gift any parent can ask for. I can live in a world where she’s alive, even if she wants nothing to do with me.” He winced when he said this, as if it caused him physical pain to say it.
“John,” I said, reaching out to him.
“Wait,” he said, and looked at me again, his beautiful blue eyes shining with a strength I hadn’t seen in them recently. “What I need you to understand is that I’m only grateful that you found her. I don’t want you to be upset. I don’t want you going into some downward spiral because you’re worried you’ve hurt me. You haven’t. You’ve made me whole, in more ways than one. Do you understand?”
I nodded at him, mutely, warning myself not to start mumbling about what a mess I’d made again.
“I need you to be strong for me, now. We have so much work to do,” he said, running his hands through his hair and making it stand up in sexy spikes. Desire suddenly pooled in my stomach.
“I’m ready,” I said, sliding myself onto his lap and straddling him.
He smiled down at me as I could feel his hardness pressing against me, right where I needed to feel him. “Ready for what, exactly?” he growled playfully as he pushed himself against me.
“Everything,” I said, boldly taking my shirt off.
He smiled up at me and sought out my ring, stroking it.
“I love you, baby,” he said. “Forever.”
“Forever,” I agreed.
The alarm was going off too early. Again. “Time to get up, sleepyhead,” John said, patting me gently on the back.
“Ugh,” I said, and smushed my face back into the pillow. “Just five more minutes…please?”
John turned the overhead light on and opened all the curtains, flooding the room with early-morning light. “Just because you rocked my world last night doesn’t mean you get to sleep in,” he said. “Sorry, babe.”
“I’m the one who’s sorry,” I said, sitting up slowly and rubbing my eyes. I winced when I moved my thighs; they felt painful and leaden.
“You should be proud of yourself,” he said. “you’re running about a ten-minute mile now. That’s really good.”
“You guys all run six minute miles,” I said. “At least. Which leaves me four minutes behind you, running through the Brazilian jungle.”
“We can work with a ten-minute mile. You’ve improved immensely. I’m amazed at your progress.” He sat down next to me and massaged one of my thighs; ow.
“The fear of being left behind is a great motivator,” I said.
“Listen, today’s a big day,” he said. “The lawyer from your father’s estate sent me an email this morning. The paternity test was positive, of course, and he’d like to come by this afternoon with some paperwork. And your half-sister.”
Even though I’d been told this would be happening soon, I was taken completely off-guard. I’d pushed it to the back of my mind, again. It was as if my poor little brain could only handle so much family trauma; John’s had been busy occupying all the space available.
I swallowed and looked at him. “What’s her name?” I asked.
“Alex,” he said. “Alexandra.”
“Sounds preppy,” I said. “Have you talked to her?”
“Only through Billy, the lawyer.”
“Is he nice?” I asked.
“He’s a lawyer,” John said, getting off the bed. “Of course not.” He looked at my face, which must have been pale. It felt like all the blood had drained from it. “I’m kidding,” he said gently. “He’s very nice. And he said that Alexandra is excited to meet you, so I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that she’s nice, too.”
“I knew you told me to expect this,” I said, shakily, “but I guess I just wasn’t expecting it. If that makes any sense.” I got up painfully and got my workout clothes together.
I slowly headed towards the bathroom; I needed to splash some water on my face. Then I desperately needed a cup of coffee. “I just don’t know what to say to them,” I said.
John was watching me thoughtfully. “Just be yourself,” he said. “Everybody loves you, Liberty. Just be yourself and you’ll be fine.”
“Be myself?” I asked, feeling myself begin to despair. As in: Hi, I’m an ex-stripper. Our father cheated on your mother with my junkie mother. Oh and by the way this is John, my future husband. Yes, he’s twenty years older than me. We shoot a lot of people at work…and we have sex. A lot.
“I think I’ll just focus on being polite. What time are they coming?” I asked, knowing my stomach was going to be in knots all day.
“Five,” he said.
“Is it okay if I plan dinner?” I asked. I wanted to try to do something nice, so at least I looked like I was excited to meet my relative.
“Ian’s already on it,” he said. “I told him to be impressive. See what I can get done when I let you sleep in for five minutes?”
“You’re the best,” I called from the bathroom. Then I stuck my head back out. “I’m so nervous,” I said.
“Don’t be. If you don’t like her, you never have to see her again. Now go get ready. I’m calling Matthew — we’re going to run seven miles today, and after lunch, we’re doing hot yoga. You’ll be so tired, you’ll practically sleep through dinner.”
“Great,” I said, not knowing what part of today to dread the most.
I’d promised John and Matthew that I would give my workouts everything I had, and I was keeping that promise. But I was so far behind everybody else. At least my body was starting to return to normal after the Mexico debacle. I’d gained back much of the weight I’d lost, so my joints weren’t in as much pain while we ran. I finally had some cushioning back. And I was getting better times sooner than I’d expected. Still, I felt like I had a lot to prove. But before you can prove anything, you have so much work to do. So do it, my inner voice admonished. She didn’t want to get killed when we were looking for Darius. I didn’t blame her.
So when we ran that morning, I stayed focused. “Keep your arms moving, even when you get tired, and the rest of your body will follow,” Matthew had told me, so I kept pumping them, long after the rest of me wanted to give up. Seven miles, I started thinking, at mile two. But instead of slowing down, saving the energy I did have, I made myself start to run faster. Not too fast, because I wouldn’t be able to keep up the pace, but faster. I didn’t let myself internally whine about it. You wanted to be a bounty hunter one last time, I thought. So suck it up.
Matthew ran up next to me and I nodded at him. He looked at his watch. “Good pace,” he said, keeping up with me easily. “You okay if I go ahead today? I need to talk to John.”
I only nodded at him again, saving all my breath. I made myself focus just on the moment, blocking all the other thoughts out that were waiting in line to drive me crazy: Catherine, Angel, my “new” half-sister Alexandra, Darius. Ray. Leave me alone, I thought. I’ll deal with you all later.
The woods rushed by me. The rest of the guys were far enough ahead of me that their voices were muted. I tuned them out, as well as the fact that I was struggling. I concentrated on the fact that my body was getting stronger, and that luckily, running kept the mosquitos from getting you. Mostly.
I kept checking my watch. I was doing it. I was going to finish my seven miles in 70 minutes. Huh, I thought. Maybe that’s why the guys didn’t hate running so much…because when you’re faster, you’re done a whole hell of a lot sooner. It was something to keep in mind.
They were waiting for me when I finished; they hadn’t lapped me today, taking instead a longer, winding trail through the woods along the perimeter of the property. They clapped for me when I got to the clearing. “Well done, Liberty,” said John, coming over to me and patting me on the back proudly. “You just ran not one, not two, but seven ten-minute miles.”
The guys were hooting and hollering. Had I not already been so red, I would have blushed furiously. Instead I smiled and waved. Then I collapsed to the ground to try to catch my breath and gratefully accepted the water Matthew offered me. He dropped down next to me and I was annoyed to notice that he was only sweating a little, and that his breathing was even and calm.
“That was awesome,” he said, a huge grin on his face. It made me less mad at him. “I didn’t think you’d be able to be so consistent this soon. That’s a very good indicator. I’m feeling a lot more optimistic about you coming along, now.”
“Well if that’s all it took, I wish you’d have told me sooner. It wasn’t that bad,” I said, even though I was pretty sure that I was going to pass out and that I wouldn’t be able to walk tomorrow.
“Not that bad, huh?” Matthew said, he waved Corey over. I eyed them both suspiciously; Corey was the one who usually lead the core exercises, and he was always trying to get me to do crazy things like climb ropes and throw weights around.
“‘Sup?” he asked, sauntering over, his black spiky hair shimmering with the water he’d just dumped over his head.
“Liberty here just said that she’s got some more to give this morning,” he said.
“No I didn’t!” I said, sitting up. “That’s not what I said!”
“She said running seven ten-minute miles wasn’t that bad,” Matthew told Corey, his eyes sparkling mischievously.
“You know what that means,” Corey said, stretching his hamstring.
“It means Little Miss Thing is in it to win it!” Matthew whooped, slapping me on the back.
“Ow,” I whined, cringing away from them. “John? I called, somewhat desperately. “John, come here!” He headed over, stretching his arms out behind his back as he walked.
“You don’t mind if we make your fiancee dig a little deeper this morning, do you boss?” Matthew asked, before I had a chance to open my mouth. “I mean, I think she can do it,” he said, sounding serious now, the teasing tone gone from his voice.
John nodded at the three of us. “She’s ready,” he said, still stretching out his arms. “But don’t do too much strength training this morning. We’ve got hot yoga this afternoon, and I need her arms working.”
“John?” I asked pleadingly.
“You can do this,” he said, walking away, leaving me with them. I started sweating again, and it wasn’t from the run.
“This is awesome,” Matthew said, pumping his fist. “We’re bringing Liberty up to the next level and we get to do hot yoga this afternoon.”
Catherine was right: Matthew really was annoying sometimes. I tuned the rest of their conversation out, letting myself wallow in dread.
“Let’s go,” Corey said, five minutes later. We’d all finished stretching, and I had finally regained the use of my legs. “Meet us at the weight room.”
I nodded at him, and decided I wasn’t going to say a word to him or Matthew for the rest of the afternoon. If I did, it would probably just be a litany of curses. I saw John on the way there. He was talking to Michael, Sean and Jake. I waited for him to finish and he jogged over.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“We’ve had a breakthrough. An update on Darius,” he said. “I have to head into my office and talk to Brazil. So I won’t be joining you guys.” He smiled down at me. “I know you’re not excited about today,” he said, “but you need to do what they tell you. We’re probab
ly going to start breaking out in groups like this everyday. There isn’t anyone who can get you into shape better than Corey and Matthew. Except for me,” he said. “But I’ll just have to give you some one-on-one training later.”
“Good luck with that,” I said, giving him more of a grimace than a smile.
“Babe. I’ve told you before: luck has nothing to do with it,” he said with a wicked grin, then jogged off.
Corey was waiting for me in the field next to the weight room. He’d laid out about a dozen tires across the field. They were thick and high, like they were from a tractor or something. I started sweating again.
“Where’s Matthew?” I asked, suspiciously.
“Up here,” he called, merrily, from the roof of the building. He was crouched up there, eating a power bar.
“What the hell are we doing?” I asked the both of them. I wanted to run away and find Ian, so we could watch ESPN and eat ice cream, like civilized people.
“Obstacle course,” Corey said. “You gotta run and jump into each tire and jump back out, all the way down the field. I’m gonna time you.”
“And then you have to climb up here,” Matthew called, his mouth filled with the last of his power bar.
“Using what?” I asked. This was beyond stupid. Why did I have to learn to scale a building?
“Your hands,” Matthew said. “And that drainage pipe down there. And anything else you can find to grab onto. And I’m going to time you.”
“How long did it take you?” I asked.
“About two seconds,” he said, and shrugged. “It’ll probably take you a little longer.”
I glowered at him, and then turned my glower Corey’s way. “Exactly what is this supposed to accomplish?” I asked. “Besides making me trip? And fall?” I motioned towards the roof.
“It’s our job to keep you safe,” Corey said, and he was now dead serious. “You have to be able to keep up with us. There’s all sorts of terrain in Brazil. We don’t know if we’re going to be in an urban area or a jungle. You have to be prepared for anything. We’re going to have to move fast. You might have to run over uneven terrain, rocks, roots, underbrush…and we could have to hide anywhere.”
