A fondness filtered through him. He would have been content to go on dancing like this forever. “Yes.”
She shrugged, trying to make the gesture seem casual. “Just thinking.”
“About?” he prodded.
“Lots of things.” Mischief entered her eyes. “How I’m going to harvest all that wheat, for instance.” She looked at him pointedly. “Know where I can find a farm hand?”
Was she asking him to stay? Or just flirting with him? He couldn’t decide. He only knew what he wanted it to be. But wishing didn’t make it so.
Suddenly he felt her freeze. A startled look entered her eyes. “June?”
“He’s here.” Her voice was deathly quiet as she stared at someone over his shoulder.
Kevin didn’t have to turn to look. He knew she was referring to her father. Max had invited the older Yearling to the wedding after all. The two had made their peace with each other. So had April after a bit. Both had acknowledged that hatred was a terrible thing to harbor and neither one of them had wanted it to continue tainting their lives.
His eyes remained on June’s face. “I know.”
She looked at him, dumbstruck. “You know?” How could he have known and not told her? Feelings of betrayal immediately sprang up inside her.
Kevin nodded. “Max told me he was inviting him.”
All the happiness she’d just been feeling faded into the background. “How could Max not tell me he was doing this?”
“Because I told him not to.” Her eyes shifted to him. He couldn’t begin to fathom the look he saw there. “Max wanted you to be here and I didn’t think he should have to choose between you and his father on his wedding day.”
Who the hell did he think he was, making decisions like that? Manipulating her like that? Who the hell did both of them think they were? Her temper flared, rising to a dangerous level.
“We’re leaving.”
But as she tried to pull away, she found that she was held fast in the same arms that had felt so protective to her only moments ago. He wasn’t letting her walk off the dance floor. “We’re not going to cause a scene at Max and Lily’s wedding.”
This time, when she lifted her chin, he saw the old, defensive June materialize. “All right, you stay. I’m leaving.”
“No,” he told her quietly, still holding her fast, “you’re not.” He could see that she was inches away from telling him where he could go. His passage to warmer climates didn’t matter, but she and what she was feeling, did. “You’re going to make your peace with this man, because if you don’t, when he dies, you’ll never forgive yourself.”
Her eyes narrowed. “What do you mean, when he dies?”
It wasn’t his place to tell her what Ursula had shared with him. That was between June and her father. It was up to Yearling to tell her that he was failing.
“Everyone dies, June,” he told her quietly. “Usually sooner than we want them to. Don’t leave things the way they are now. The dead might hear us when we ask for forgiveness, but we can’t see them hear us. And it makes a world of difference, believe me. You’re bigger than your anger.” He lowered his lips to her ear as they continued dancing. “I know you are. Max and April have forgiven him. So has Ursula.” He looked at her pointedly.
She didn’t want this responsibility. But he was right. And she knew it.
“Damn you,” June murmured. Disentangling herself, she walked away from him.
Kevin stood and watched her, knowing in his heart that she wasn’t running off the dance floor. Or running at all anymore.
Her slim shoulders braced, she crossed the newly stained, polished wooden floor, her heels clicking in her ears with each step. She walked until she came up to the man who had given her life and taken away her young dreams.
It felt like the longest walk of her life.
Her nerves were vibrating within her as she looked up into his gaunt face. “Would you like to dance?”
For a moment, time seemed to stop. The music continued playing, but it was hardly audible to her as she waited for her father’s response.
And then a smile rose to his lips, erasing more than fifteen years from his face. June saw the man her mother had loved with all her fragile heart.
“Very much.”
He took her hand in his leathery fingers and led her away from the others. Very slowly, he began to dance to the music.
She was hardly aware of moving. Only of the man who held her to him. He glided on the floor like mist. She looked up into his face. “Mother told me you were a very good dancer.”
“It was my partner who was the good dancer. She always made me look good.” Wayne’s eyes filled with tears. “She was a wonderful woman and I didn’t deserve her. We do things when we’re young—foolish, thoughtless things that we would never do if we only knew the consequences.” He looked at her. “June, if I could do it all over again—”
She nodded. He didn’t have to say it, didn’t have to bare his pain. Not anymore. She understood. And forgave. “I know, Daddy, I know.”
She laid her head against his shoulder as they danced, hiding the tears that came to her own eyes.
The applause that came at the end of the number was as much for her and her father as it was for the musicians who had played the song.
She stepped back to look at her father. The years had been as unkind to him as the lack of him had been to her. “Are you staying in Hades?”
He nodded, obviously pleased that she asked. “For as long as God lets me.”
He didn’t say for as long as he could, June noted, which would have meant that he’d allow his wanderlust to take him away when the time came. It looked as if his wanderlust was finally gone.
She smiled and hugged him. “Welcome home, then.”
Max looked on, feeling a sense of pride, a sense of accomplishment at the reunion, although, he judged, June would have probably come around eventually. She was too kind at heart not to.
Still, he had to admit, albeit silently, that it felt good having had a hand in getting her together with her father.
The band began to play again. It was time to reclaim her. Putting his drink down, Kevin started to cross the floor to where June stood.
But Alan Simpson beat him to it. The tall, lanky miner with the ready smile and shock of blond hair that kept falling into his eyes beat out several other men as well, all of whom appeared to have the same goal in mind. Kevin looked around the area immediately surrounding June. All the men looked as if they wanted to dance with her. He couldn’t blame them. Couldn’t blame her for agreeing, either.
The men that were now vying for her attention were all young, all close to her age from what he could see. And all very taken with the way she looked in that bridesmaid dress Lily had selected.
He felt a surge of jealousy even as he picked up his drink again. No point in being jealous. He’d known it was going to be this way all along. If he thought anything else, he’d just been fooling himself.
Kevin took a long sip of his drink, draining the glass. He debated going in search of another.
“What are you doing all the way over here by yourself, big brother?”
He turned around to see that Alison was standing behind him. Her expression told him that she already had the answer to her question, but was intent on getting it out of him nonetheless.
He gave her his standard reply. “Observing.”
She blew out a dismissive breath. “You do entirely too much of that, you know.”
He smiled fondly at her. He’d missed her nagging, he thought. “How do you think I got to be so wise? By observing.”
It was an excuse and they all knew that. It was what he said when he didn’t want to get caught up in things. “It’s also how you got to be so isolated.” She waved a hand in June’s direction. The latter was dancing with Alan Simpson. “Go and rescue her.”
Kevin saw the smile on June’s face and envied Alan more than he wanted to admit. “She doesn’t look like
she needs rescuing.”
“You don’t know the woman like I do.” She gave Kevin a small shove, but he remained exactly where he was. She sighed. “I see you haven’t gotten any less stubborn since I moved up here.”
He arched one eyebrow as he looked down at her. “Neither have you.”
“Hey,” she laughed, not bothering to deny his assessment, “I had a great teacher.” She tried another tack. “Okay, dance with me, then.”
“Where’s your husband?” Kevin looked around for Luc to come to his rescue.
She pointed toward the band. “Over there, spelling one of the musicians.”
Luc was picking away at a banjo and looked as if he was having the time of his life. “A man of many talents, your husband.”
She laughed warmly, a lusty look coming into her eyes. “You don’t know the half of it. Now—” she presented her hands to him expectantly “—are you going to dance with me, or are you going to make me stand here like some pathetic wallflower?”
He looked at all the available men milling around. The numbers here were always in favor of the women, but he welcomed the chance to be with his sister. After tomorrow, he didn’t know when he’d be returning to Hades. Though his heart was here, it would be best for all concerned, he decided, if the rest of him was back in Seattle.
Given half a chance, he was sure that more than a dozen men would come scrambling over to fill his young sister’s dance card. “Trust me, Alison, you would never be a wallflower, even if you didn’t live in Hades.”
Her smile, if not her words, told him she appreciated the compliment. “Less talking, more dancing,” she instructed.
The moment Kevin took her into his arms, he could feel her trying to get him to move to the left. And June. He shook his head and laughed. “I know what you’re up to.”
“Up to?” Her look was sheer innocence. “I’m not up to anything. I’m just dancing.”
“In June’s direction.”
She lifted her eyebrows a degree higher, as if to underscore her guilelessness. “Hey, everyone’s got to have a direction. Can I help it if June happens to be in my way?”
Which was another thing. “The woman is not supposed to lead,” he reminded her.
She looked up at her brother. “Sometimes the woman has to lead. Especially when the man is being too dumb to take the lead himself.”
“Alison—”
They were almost beside the other couple now. Alison leaped to take advantage of the opportunity.
“June, do you mind if I cut in?” She didn’t wait for a reply. “Of course you don’t.” Supplanting the younger woman, she took hold of the miner’s hands. “Alan, my husband’s determined to show the world what he’s learned from those banjo tapes he’s been watching. I need a dance partner and my brother’s got two left feet. Will you please rescue me?”
She gave Alan no chance for rebuttal, but took charge and led him away.
“You do not have two left feet,” June protested good-naturedly as she took Alison’s place in Kevin’s arms. “Dance with me before one of these rutting young stags gets it in his head that he wants to show off.”
He obliged, but not before laughing and shaking his head. It was an entirely different breed of women they had up here in Alaska. “Don’t you women ever let a man do the asking around here?”
She looked at him with what he could only term a coy look. “We do if he’s not too slow.”
Kevin made no comment. Instead, he just continued dancing.
Chapter Fifteen
He’d made his decision.
He was doing the thing he knew he should. He was going home.
The thought, fantasy, he’d been harboring before was just that. A fantasy. A dream, nothing more than a desire to recapture a youth he knew he hadn’t been able to have the first time around.
Not that he regretted the life he’d had for a moment. He’d made his choice, raised his siblings and given three fine people to the world. People he loved dearly who loved him back just as much. Wasn’t that the very essence of the definition of a family? People you loved who loved you back.
If sometimes he missed the thought of having someone by his side, a partner in all this, well, he had no right to make that someone June.
He’d been her first.
There was no reason to believe that he should be her last. She had her whole life ahead of her. She needed her freedom to sample all that life had to offer. The best thing he could do was to give it to her.
There was no doubt in his mind that the next time he came back up here to Hades, she’d be with someone, perhaps even married. He wasn’t sure how he was going to be able to handle that. But he’d have to.
It was just another choice he knew he had to make.
Moving from dresser to suitcase, he glanced toward his brother. Jimmy had been there for the past half hour, trying his best to talk him out of leaving. Jimmy’s heart was in the right place.
So was his.
At least in theory.
Funny, he never thought that theories hurt. But they did.
Jimmy sat on the bed, watching his brother as Kevin placed his shirts into the single suitcase he’d brought with him from Seattle. Kevin was the only man he’d ever met who knew how to pack neatly.
He just wished that his brother wasn’t doing it right now.
Jimmy frowned, shaking his head. They’d gone around and around about this, but he still knew he was right and for once in his life, Kevin was wrong.
“I said it before. Kev, I think it’s a mistake. So do Alison, April and Luc. We all think you should stay on here.”
Kevin’s mouth curved. “Nice to know my life’s been up for a vote by the town council.” He carefully tucked the dress shoes he’d brought for the wedding into the suitcase. “If I stay any longer, I’ll get lazy.”
Jimmy sighed. “We can always find you something else to fix or paint. Lily’s going to need a lot of help with that restaurant.”
Kevin raised his eyes to look at his brother. “Lily is going to do just fine once she and Max get back from their honeymoon.”
Jimmy’s good-natured expression gave way to exasperation. “Yeah, but will you?”
Kevin slipped his can of shaving cream into the top compartment. “I’ve always done fine.”
Biting off an oath, Jimmy stopped Kevin’s hand before he could put anything else into the suitcase. This was more important than packing. This was about his brother’s life. “That’s when you had a lot of things to keep you busy. You don’t anymore.”
Very gently, he disengaged himself from Jimmy’s grasp. “That’s why I’m going back. To find something to keep me busy.”
On his feet, Jimmy moved quickly and got in front of Kevin so that he blocked access to the closet. “There’s something right here for that.”
Patiently Kevin moved around him and reached into the closet for his gray slacks. He didn’t want to go into this again, into long explanations of why this was the best thing he could do for June. “We’ve been through this, Jimmy.”
Jimmy was nothing if not resilient. If he couldn’t succeed one way, he was going to try another. “I meant the transport service.”
Kevin knew that Jimmy thought he’d given up on that idea, but he’d done a great deal of thinking on the subject since he’d gathered his information.
“That’s not a dead issue yet,” Kevin told him. “If I don’t decide to invest in that home security company I was looking into before I came up here, I’ll be wiring my money up to Ike and Luc. Become their silent partner, so to speak.”
It took Jimmy a moment to absorb this new piece of information, coming out of left field. His intent was to get Kevin to stay to run the business, not wire in money. “Ike and Luc?”
Kevin didn’t know why Jimmy looked so surprised. “Why not? The two of them are already behind more than half the new enterprises in Hades.” His brother was stalling, Kevin decided, trying to make him miss his flight. “Ike said he�
��d been thinking about investing in a transport service for a while now. Luc usually backs him up—”
Jimmy held up his hand. “What about a pilot?” He knew that Kevin had a license, that he enjoyed flying when he had the chance. That was what had started the whole idea of his running a transport service to begin with.
Kevin was already ahead of him. “You can advertise for one of those.” He smiled patiently at his brother. “Don’t need me for that.”
Momentarily at the end of his arguments, Jimmy shook his head. “You know, for an easygoing guy, you’ve got one rock-solid head.”
Kevin patted his brother’s shoulder, the victor even if he really took no pleasure in it. “Not rock solid, just clear thinking. I had a wonderful time, Jimmy, a wonderful time. But this was a vacation. That’s all, just a vacation. It’s time for me to get back to reality and my life.”
Jimmy huffed. “What makes you think your life’s in Seattle?”
“I get my mail there.” He saw his brother open his mouth again. He had no more time for this. “You’re going to make me late, Jimmy. What’s worse, you’re going to make me keep Sydney waiting. You know how I feel about that kind of thing.”
Being on time had been Kevin’s only rigid rule. Anything less was an insult to the people you kept waiting. Jimmy didn’t like accepting defeat. “I thought maybe, being here, your feelings had changed.”
No, his feelings hadn’t changed, Kevin thought. None of his feelings. He struggled against the wave of bittersweetness that threatened to wash over him. Now wasn’t the time. He had a plane to catch once Sydney got him to Anchorage.
He returned to his packing. “I’ll say goodbye before I leave,” he promised.
Desperate, Jimmy fired a direct salvo. “What about June?”
“I said goodbye to her last night,” Kevin answered after a beat.
He could have sworn he saw his brother’s shoulders stiffen just a shade. “Does she know it was that kind of a goodbye?”
He thought of the kiss they’d shared, the very real temptation he’d struggled with not to follow her into the farmhouse. But one last night with her would have simply weakened his decision. A man was only so strong and no stronger, no matter what he’d like to believe.
The Bride Wore Blue Jeans Page 16
