“Which of us do you hate more, Delilah?” Ian asked, his voice husky with disuse. Holding her gaze, he started to change again, but she held her hands out pleadingly.
“Don’t!”
Ian let the man take over again, but Lil sensed the effort of will it took for the wolf to allow the weakness. Lil rushed into speech, acutely aware that time was running out, for both of them. She had to make him understand that it was seeing his power unleashed that had made her afraid. “I could never hate you, or the wolf. Fear you? Yes. I am a Haskell. You are a Griffith. Can you blame me when you dragged me here against my will? How can I know your intent when I’m not sure you know it yourself?”
His nostrils flared, and then, in one spring, he was upon her. Ian had always been strong, but this man that was so much more than mortal. He had a power only a beast could unleash. He shoved her back against the cave wall, pressing his naked warmth into her. He was so warm, and she was so cold. For a forgotten moment, she remembered. How it had been, not how it was now….
His jaw flexing, he caught her wandering hands and held them above her head. “Do you not enjoy what you helped create?”
She should have been comforted that, even now, their thoughts were so similar, but hearing her words in his voice only made her pain more acute. “Yes, perhaps I romanticized the qualities of the wolf. But I also romanticized the qualities of the man. The man I–” her voice broke but she forced herself to go on, “cared for would never frighten me.”
He inhaled sharply at her near admission, and for a moment, his free hand ran down the supple curve of waist and hip, so beautifully delineated in the clinging dress. But then his hand fell away and his teeth showed as he snarled, “Cared for? Even now, you can’t say it. You pointed a gun at me after I risked my life to save you!”
“I didn’t mean to, you startled me, I acted on instinct….” She trailed off, wishing she’d chosen some other excuse.
“What do your instincts tell you now, Delilah Haskell?”
The words were so soft and deadly that they made her shiver with more than the cold. Resentment looked at her behind those pitiless amber eyes. And hunger. Hunger so ravenous that if he consumed her, limb by limb, right down to her beating heart, he still wouldn’t be satiated.
But was it hunger for her body as food, or her body as pleasure? Lil closed her eyes, cringing away, still afraid of the answer.
With a guttural sound that could have been made by either wolf or man, Ian released her in disgust and turned his back. “Leave me. Go. While you still can.”
Lil’s eyes opened. Even from the back, he was beautiful. His muscles had adjusted to the ways of the wolf, even if his mind had not. She wanted to touch him, to know him, to learn this new Ian Griffith all over again. But before she could take a step toward him, he whirled upon her.
“I brought you here to tell you my decision. I took this form because it frightens you less, but its weakness displeases me. It will be the last time you see it.”
“No, Ian, please–”
“Don’t beg. I once wanted you for my mate, but no longer. I need a mate to protect my back, not stand behind it. Go back to your soft bed and your safe world, Miss Haskell. It was always too small and confining for me, even when I was only a man. I will trouble you no more. The curse drew us together. And now the curse will separate us.”
She saw the hairs lengthening on his body, and knew what fate he’d chosen. She wanted to cry out a warning that no, in embracing what he’d once despised he was fulfilling the curse, not denying it, but there was no time, or breath in her, to plead. Again, with the power of her instincts instead of the rationality she’d always trusted in, she knew she had seconds to act. This time, if the man left her without her helping him recall the best of his humanity, the wolf would reign supreme.
Only one lure drew man and wolf equally.
Covering the small gap between them in two desperate bounds that made his eyes widen and his transformation stop, Lil flung herself against him. Linking her hands behind his neck, she pulled that strong head down to her level. The hairs receded, and in the shock of his stare, she saw Ian, not the wolf.
Right before she kissed him, she whispered, “Tell me if the wolf remembers this.” The moment her lips felt the familiar warmth and hardness of his, the residue of fear left her. His height, his touch, the feel of unencumbered male skin, the soft hairs on his chest prickling the exposed vee of flesh in her dress, loosened by the way he’d dragged her here…these were powerful bonds that nothing could break.
Not the curse. Not her own fear. Not even the call of the wolf.
She felt his emotional tug-of-war tremble through him. Slowly, the seductive warmth and feel of the woman as sustenance, not food, pulled the man back from the brink of the wolf’s lair. She felt the change in him, for he quit resisting and embraced her back.
Exultation thrilled through her, blazing a trail for the hungry caress of his hands. Ian remembered, too. She sensed it in the sudden tenderness of his kiss, his reciprocal need for intimacy. An intimacy only humans could know.
The power of this feeling came not from the body, but from the heart.
Ian dragged his mouth away and nipped at the pulse in the side of her neck. “Yes, temptress Delilah, even when I howl at the moon, I remember. And I regret. Why torment us both with the beauty of something past? This changes nothing–”
“It changes everything. Don’t think, Ian. My thinking too much is what led us to this. Feel.” Lil took his hand and brought it inside her half open dress.
He stiffened. Breath left him in a sigh. This time, when he looked at her, she saw the best of Ian Griffith in those amber eyes. He could not touch her there without thinking of her as a woman, remembering himself as a man. The last of his resistance faded as his hand cupped her gently
Whether it was she, or he, who led the way to the blankets spread in a corner, she could not say. She’d long since forgotten that outside, Jeremy searched for her. Forgotten that in two nights, Thomas had a plan that would spell supremacy for him and death to Ian. Forgotten, even, to be afraid.
The man who pressed her back on the blankets was her lover, her lover as remembrance of times past and hope for times yet to come. Eagerly, she helped him open the rest of her bodice, but when their torsos brushed together, they forgot themselves.
His fumbling hands desperate with hunger, Ian lifted her skirts and pulled down her drawers. She parted her legs for him, as eager to banish the darkness with the roaring fire of passion as he.
With two fingers, he tested her readiness. When he found her receptive, he positioned the proof of his maleness against the gate to her femininity. Lifting her hips, she met his down thrust, and the intimacy and stretching had never been so moving.
Emptiness, filled.
Loneliness, banished.
Fear, vanquished.
Deep within her, he paused, his eyes closed. Luxuriating, too, in this ultimate intimacy stronger even than the bond forged by the curse. For long seconds he stayed still, and the rush of blood through their veins, their heartbeats, their very lives themselves, joined into a oneness completed by this embrace, not begun.
But soon, aroused by the feel of him filling her so well, Lil couldn’t remain still any longer. She lifted her head to watch their joining, undulating her hips,
His eyes opened. He looked down, too. With an explosive little gasp that tremored from him to her and back, he lost himself in her. He pulled out and shoved deep, over and over in a syncopation surely more primitive, and more fulfilling, than ever before. Even then, the possession didn’t satisfy him. Turning her around, he lifted her to her knees and filled her from behind.
The position was new for Lil, and at first the strangeness of it broke the spell. With his hands on her hip bones and his knees braced so he could shove more of his maleness into her, she sensed his need to dominate, to own her, now and forever. Then he pressed her legs together between his own, and she felt his reachi
ng as never before. One of his hands cupped a breast, dangling for his pleasure, and the other thumbed the dewy bud of her burgeoning fulfillment.
And then thought fell away to a maelstrom of light and darkness flickering behind her eyes. The earth rocked beneath her knees. The night died, and with it, the moon’s power over her life, for this last, best instinct told her she’d won. No man could want her the way Ian wanted her, shoving into her with powerful strokes she felt at the very tip of her womb, and not care for her still, despite the wolf’s lure.
The woman’s lure was greater.
Gladly Lil sundered herself to him, for if he dominated her, she, too, dominated him. And in her giving, she took the ultimate gift. With a last push that took them both home, he filled her with his manhood. With the spilling of his virility that mingled with her own feminine fulfillment, he found himself, and her, again.
Lil collapsed beneath him. He drooped against her back, but rolled quickly aside and drew her into his arms instead, using a clean towel to dab away the evidence of their union. Their heartbeats slowed gradually, but still their feet and legs remained entwined. Lil knew he didn’t want to break contact any more than she did. Or to face the world and the challenge awaiting them.
He continued to caress her bosom. She tilted her head back on his shoulder and smiled her satisfaction at the look on his face. Even if they succeeded in breaking the curse, something of the wolf would always remain in him. Wolfish was the only description for his appreciative smile.
“You do have a way of making a man remember what he was fighting for,” he teased.
“And you have a way of making a woman remember why she’ll always have a fondness for wolves.”
“Vixen.”
“That’s a female fox, I believe.”
“And you are equally sly.”
“No, but equally hungry.” She nipped his shoulder. “Besides, it worked, didn’t it? Tell me if the wolf can know a pleasure like that.”
“Only with you for a mate.”
Lil went very still, her hand resting upon the mat of hair on his chest. She felt the acceleration of his heartbeat, and sensed his urgent interest in her response. But she had her own question that must be answered. “Do you wish to remain a wolf, Ian, even if we can cure you?”
His stroking hand stopped. “There was a time when you claimed to want to be a wolf in another lifetime. It is not such a bad fate. Things are much simpler. No pretty lies wrapped up in smiles. No tiresome hypocrisy or gossip.”
“No food but raw meat. No books to read. No doctors.”
“Life is always a series of trade offs. In the wild. And in civilization.” His intonation on the last word spoke loudly of his contempt.
The residual glow of their union faded back to the dull gray of choices. For such would be life without Ian. Unrelieved hues of gray, with no black and white, no hope and despair. Yet her alternative was equally dreary. How could she decry this life she’d fought so hard for, abandon the legacy to uncaring male relatives? So she could run over the moors with Ian, and be subject to the rules of the wild instead of the rules of society? The thought of having to kill to eat was anathema to her. So many people depended upon her for their livelihood, and she’d fought so hard to be master of her own destiny. To give it all up now and embrace the ailment that had taken the man she loved?
No. Far better to win back her estate manager and lover. Then they could set their own rules. But her lengthy silence was apparently answer enough to Ian, for he stood. Stretching himself, his muscles flexing with grace and power in the lantern light, Ian moved to his clothes.
Lil sensed his indecision as he stared down, but finally, jerkily, as if he had to force himself, he shook off the worst of the mold and began to garb himself in the symbols of the cares of the world he’d so nearly foresworn. Lil went limp with relief. Then, energized, she leaped to her feet and straightened her ragged clothes as best she could. Two buttons on her dress were hanging by a thread, but she pulled her chemise closed and tugged the ripped bodice over it as best she could.
When they were presentable, they faced one another. The scent of their union lingered on the air. His nostrils quivered, as if only that whiff gave him strength enough to do what humanity demanded and lycanthropy denied. He held out his hand. “Come. I will go back to the estate with you. For tonight.”
“And tomorrow?” Lil took his hand, feeling ambivalence surging through him as he blew out the lantern and led her to the cave entrance.
“Will have its own demands without us creating more. Leave it be, for now, Lil.”
And they didn’t discuss their plans again until they reached the camp fire glowing before the fallen log. Shelly and Jeremy sat, shoulders brushing, heads together while they talked quietly, and neither of them looked overly concerned.
Shelly and Jeremy eyed them up and down, and then exchanged glances in grim agreement. “I told you he wouldn’t hurt her,” Shelly said to Jeremy.
Lil had to look away from his disappointed stare, wondering if harlot was written on her forehead, but he only kicked dirt over the fire and led the way out of the clearing. Shelly, however, squeezed Lil’s shoulder in wordless understanding. Her steady gray eyes approved, and then, she, too, turned to leave. Ian hurried out as if he couldn’t bear to look back.
At the embrasure opening, Lil paused to glance over her shoulder. Things were indeed much simpler here. She hoped that, in a week or so, she and Ian could return and bless this little piece of Eden with the joy God gifted to men and women. In all its strange, tormenting complexity.
And if she had to resort to the tactics of the wild and fight tooth and claw, she’d find a way to convince Ian simpler was seldom better.
The next day, from dawn to dusk, Shelly and Lil huddled together, trying to solve the last clue on the gypsy girl’s headstone. Ian remained in his tower, secluded, refusing even to breakfast with Lil. She understood the battle raging within him and knew it was a choice he had to make alone, but still she was hurt. And worried. He knew how to transform even in daylight. In seconds he could leap to the ground and….
“He won’t desert you as long as Thomas is still a threat,” Shelly said quietly as Lil stared out at the deceptively calm and quiet summer day. “Even this past week, as a wolf, he watched over you.”
Lil’s gaze snapped to her face. “How do you know that?”
“I found his tracks one day after I sensed his presence. In both forms, he loves you, Lil.”
Despite the warmth of the room, Lil shivered. As she remembered the menace in that mass of muscle and mayhem, she doubted if such a creature could know the softer feelings of love. Dominance. Possessiveness. Loneliness. Even the way he took her spoke of the habits of the wolf….“He’s asked me to be his mate, if he remains a wolf.”
“And your answer?”
“I’ve spent my entire life learning to make reasoned decisions. As have you. We are not silly, emotional, impulsive women, Shelly. Now I should give up everything I’ve worked so hard for and live by instinct? Before I saw what the sickness did to Thomas and is about to do to Ian, I could romanticize it, but now I know that transforming force for what it is. Bestial. Seductive. It endows great power, but exacts a terrible price.”
“What if that’s the only way you’ll win Ian? What if we fail tomorrow night? What if he chooses to remain a wolf?”
Lil closed her eyes, wrapping her arms around herself, but still she shivered. She couldn’t supply the answer because she simply didn’t know it. She loved him, yes, would follow him to the ends of the earth if she had to. But on two legs. Not four.
Sighing, Shelly turned back to the note sheets filled with criss-crossed writing.
But there was something Lil had to know, too. “And what if tomorrow doesn’t cure you, Shelly? What will you do?”
Shelly tossed her pencil down. “Go back to my wandering, I should imagine. And hope to find a miracle in some forgotten corner of the earth.”
“
At least you still wish to be cured. But don’t you want to go…home?”
Shelly gave a hollow laugh. “My family has always found me something of a wild woman. If they should discover that I am, indeed, exactly that, now, well, my father is such a stickler for propriety, I wouldn’t put it past him to lock me up himself.”
“And what about Jeremy?”
“He still doesn’t know. And if I have to leave, I should prefer you don’t tell him. Where I go, he cannot follow. He’d never leave you, anyway. I’ve been but a diversion for him. But I cannot regret it. Unlike most men, the little banty cock makes me laugh. I shall always remember him fondly. Now…back to the business at hand.”
Lil accepted Shelly’s change of subject, but she saw past her friend’s spurious clam. Despite Shelly’s careless words, there was pain in those acute gray eyes. She’d miss Jeremy. And Jeremy’s feelings for her were far deeper than she realized, but Lil knew she’d intruded enough on a very private issue with a very private personality.
Lil wrote out the last line yet again. “For death I wait. An eye for an eye, a hate for a hate.” And she shivered again, staring at the virulent words, wondering if they would be the last puzzle she solved on this earth.
The most important day of Lil’s life dawned cloudless and serene. As she dressed in a serviceable serge gown, Lil stared out the window, wishing for some of the weather’s calm. She and Shelly had worked well into the night, but still, the missing puzzle piece eluded them. It was almost as if…the gypsy girl deliberately set in place all the answers they needed, save the most important one.
That one they had to create themselves. But how? How could hatred counteract the dark power driving Ian? That unholy urge only seemed to give the wolf’s instincts more allure, at least where Thomas was concerned. He thrived on hatred.
Thomas. Lil’s eyes narrowed. He knew the answer. Wasn’t there some way to weasel it out of him by guile, if not by force? She should at least try. By his own admission, he didn’t know how to change in the daylight. If she took Jeremy, she should be safe enough.
The Wolf of Haskell Hall Page 27
