A million thoughts flutter through my head.
As Katy bows to the crowd, there’s a ripple of applause. The lights flicker overhead and shut off, plunging us into darkness once again.
I suck in a deep breath and prepare to face the membership with a false smile plastered to my face.
That’s what Daniel wants. He will save face in front of the crowd.
It feels like an eternity. We stand in darkness as my torment lengthens. I think I deserve this. All I want is for this to end. To be dragged off stage with a false smile on my face is a kindness I pray Daniel will allow.
What happens afterwards is something I pray happens in isolation. I can’t face my friends as my world falls apart.
One lights pops on. It shines down over my head. Did Daniel arrange this? Picking me first out of the seven of us?
I don’t know. Not that it matters. Tears stream freely down my face. Another moment passes and a light illuminates Penny.
She glances over to me and beams with pride.
I’m barely holding it together, but I smile back at her. A light flickers over Michelle, bathing her in its luminous glow.
Michelle blinks against the glare. Apprehension fills her face. She doesn’t know how much time Tank has secured. This is exploratory for them. It’s something he wants. She’s hesitant.
The seconds tick by, and I think there will be no more lights. That would leave four women who didn’t have their reserve bids met.
But then the floodlight over Ivy shines down on the top of her head. Her eyes widen in surprise and a smile fills her face.
I wish I felt that joy.
Instead, I feel as if I’m waiting for my execution.
If I lose Daniel over this whole escapade, my life might as well be over.
I’m still waiting while my guts twist into knots. They coil tighter and tighter as worry begins to worm its way through my body.
Katy escorts the three women offstage who didn’t have a light shine down on them. I feel Tank’s heavy steps as he approaches from behind and Michelle’s light gasp the moment he touches her. It’s sudden and shocking. It’s something I want to feel.
Then I sense him. Daniel’s behind me. I don’t know what I’m going to see in his eyes, but I feel him all around me, suffocating me rather than reassuring me.
The chains over my head clink as he unfastens them. My arms are aching from being held in position for so long. Suddenly, my knees wobble and my legs feel like rubber as I’m released.
I didn’t think those chains provided that much support, but I practically crumple to the ground. I can’t face him. I’m too afraid.
On my knees, I lower my face to the ground. This is what I wanted. It’s what I’ve craved from our very first night
He steps in front of me and I see a blurry reflection of my face in the mirror polish of his shoes. Slowly, I tip forward, placing a nearly reverent kiss to the tip of those shoes. It’s all I can seem to do, because I’m paralyzed with fear.
He stoops down and strokes my hair. It’s a soothing touch, one which never fails to settle all my fears. Beneath his hand, I’m his baby girl, a naughty school girl who needs the strict discipline only he can provide.
His touch feels different this time. He wraps his fingers in my hair and yanks my head back. His eyes are dark. Fathomless.
They scare me and I feel my eyes widening and my mouth stretching open in a silent scream. But I don’t get to finish that thought. Before I know what’s happening he wraps a collar around my neck.
There’s one word emblazoned on the heavy leather.
MINE.
With the world spinning beneath me, Daniel makes quick work of attaching the collar around my neck. I’ve seen collars like this before. I’ve fantasized about them more than I should. He reaches into his pocket while I wobble on my knees and pulls out a tiny lock.
He doesn’t show it to me…exactly…but he does take his time letting it hover right in front of my nose. Once that goes on, I won’t be able to take the collar off without that key.
And that terrifies me more than anything else.
There’s a tiny snick and then he’s attaching a thin chain. Without a word, he yanks on the chain, pulling me to my feet.
Beside me, Edge is claiming the new girl, Ivy, and Penny’s men are at her side. The look on her face is the complete opposite of mine, fierce and challenging, whereas I am meek.
“You’re ours now,” Thomas says.
It sounds ominous, and while I don’t understand the full dynamics of their threesome, I’m happy for Penny. I think she’s bitten off more than she can chew, but who am I to say anything?
I’m being led off the stage with a collar around my throat and a very angry man leading the way.
Chapter 10
No words are spoken between us as Daniel practically drags me offstage. I stumble a bit, still trying to get my footing beneath me. I want to speak to him, apologize, and beg for forgiveness, but he’s commanded me to silence.
He takes me down the back corridors of the club. Up a flight of stairs are the private rooms for scening. Two flights up is the main common area where couples can scene in public. He takes me to the stairwell and I bite my lower lip.
Instead of heading up, Daniel heads down. I stop in my tracks until there’s a jerk in the chain.
“Come along, slave.” It’s the first time he’s ever called me that.
Instead of lightening my stomach, I feel a heavy lump settle in my gut.
Down in the basement are rooms where the serious players head. Impact play occurs all over the club, in the private scene rooms and in the public play spaces. All of those scenes are carefully negotiated and monitored by our Club Monitors.
We’re insanely strict about consent.
Things get a little sketchy in the basement. There will be one Monitor at the base of these stairs. I’ll be asked if I consent to entering. After that, I can’t back out.
I can always back out.
Safety and mutual consent form the foundation of the club’s beliefs. It’s just that once I pass through those doors, I enter the land of dubious consent. It’s where those who practice extreme power exchange explore the limits of what that might mean to them.
This is the area Daniel refuses to take me.
Yet, I find myself standing outside the door leading to the true dungeon of The Ties that Bind.
Master Derek is on duty tonight. Daniel pulls up short and gives a tug on the leash. Master Derek’s eyes widen slightly as he and Daniel size each other up.
But they’re not having a conversation.
Master Derek turns to me. “Miss Alexa, beyond these doors your consent no longer matters. Any safe words you have in place no longer apply. Are you willing to enter knowing this?”
I glance at Daniel, but he’s not looking at me. My entire body shakes, but this is what I wanted.
Right?
It’s no longer clear if it is. I sense something wild in Daniel, anger boiling below the surface and something else.
“I am, Master Derek.”
I refuse to let Daniel see me falter.
“By entering, you are agreeing to allow Master Daniel to do as he pleases with you. Do you consent?”
I will be given three opportunities to refuse. Three opportunities to turn around and end this.
I bite my lower lip and stare at Daniel. The muscles of his jaw bunch as he grinds his teeth. But this is what I want.
“I give my consent.”
“Do you, Miss Alexa, understand there are no safe words between you and your Master when you cross this threshold? You will be at his mercy, subjected to his will, and fully under his command.”
“I understand.”
“I need you to state that you understand the safe words used between you and Master Daniel do not apply inside the dungeon.”
“I understand I give up the right to my safe words.”
This is it.
Why is Daniel
just standing there? He still isn’t looking at me. Is that intentional?
“You have given your consent and acknowledged your safe words are no longer active. As a safety, however, you may say S.O.S. and a Monitor will immediately end your scene. If you are gagged, you may blink out S.O.S. or tap it out with your fingers or feet. Do you know Morse code for S.O.S?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Demonstrate it now. Blink for me.”
I do as instructed, giving three short, three long, and three short blinks. He has me repeat this with my fingers. It’s reassuring to know I’m not completely helpless. There are people watching over us, ensuring we remain safe as we exchange total power.
But what happens when we go home?
There is no one at home to make sure I’m safe.
Do you trust him?
The thought slams into me and I’m forced to consider it. This may be the last time I have to back away. The thing is…I do. I trust Daniel with my life.
Master Derek turns to Daniel. “Daniel, do you accept these terms? Your slave may call an end at any time using the S.O.S. code.”
“I do.” Daniel’s voice is tight, strained, and lifts the fine hairs on my arms.
“Do you understand any effort to prevent her from communicating an S.O.S. is grounds for immediate, and permanent, dismissal from the club?”
“I do.”
I didn’t know that.
“Very well.” Master Derek gives a nod. “Having determined Miss Alexa is knowledgeable about the inherent risks and that you, Master Daniel, are aware of your obligations once inside, welcome to the dungeon.”
Master Derek slides his key lock through a scanner and the door unlocks. It swings open on silent hinges and Daniel steps forward. Attached to him by the chain, I’m forced to follow.
It’s dark down here and we walk into what feels like a massive play space. It’s practically empty. The entire membership is still upstairs celebrating. With time, people will trickle down here. Right now, there's a pensive silence.
He leads me around the main play space and I crane my neck looking at the array of St. Andrew's Crosses, paddling benches, stools, and tables. There aren't any common implements. Whatever we play with we either bring with us or leave in the lockers provided for our convenience. It's easiest keeping things clean that way.
I'm not really sure what Daniel has in mind, but he gets his pick of the place. We are literally the only people down here.
It comes as a surprise when he leads me to the far back. There's an open doorway leading into a dimly lit hallway. He leads me through the doorway and into the hall.
There's no tension on the chain between us. I'm willing, although scared out of my mind. He's not forcing me to follow him. This is exactly what I asked for and I'm bound to accept the consequences of my actions.
Off to either side at regular intervals, doors lead into private rooms. Most of the placards are empty, but I see Master Edge's name scrawled on one and there is one for Master Tank too. That shouldn't come as a surprise to me.
What does is the placard with Daniel's name on it. I pull up short, yanking on the chain.
Daniel stops and turns his stern gaze on me. "Did you think I didn't know?"
"I..."
"Nothing gets by the Old Guard." He steps into my personal space and places his hands on my cheeks. He tilts my face upward and stares down at me. "Nothing, Alexa. Do you understand? Nothing."
I stare at him like a doe caught in the headlights.
"How?"
His voice is stern, cutting deep, and it's sexy as sin. I love when he takes control. My insides heat up and I don't know whether to be scared or hugely turned on.
"How is irrelevant," he says with a growl. "Know that there is nothing that gets by us. You think you're playing your little games, setting me up with an auction I had no choice but to bid on? All you're doing is digging your own grave."
"My grave?" My voice cracks and a tear pools at the corner of my eye.
"Not a literal grave. Shit, Alexa...that's not what I meant." He wipes away my tear with the pad of his thumb.
I bite my tongue. Too much is happening and I find myself wholly unprepared to deal with...whatever this is.
How did he know?
Chapter 11
I want to ask how he knew about tonight, but I know better than to dig my proverbial grave deeper than it already is. The thing is, I have no idea what to do.
I thought we would shift our roles a little, delve deeper into submission and dominance, but this feels nothing like I thought it would. It's unnerving and I'm feeling a little trapped.
I'm shaking in my boots...or rather my cute Patent leather shoes. And I'm blinking.
I can't stop blinking. And my lips are dry. I keep licking them. It's distracting.
Each time I do, his gaze flicks from my eyes to my lips which makes me even more self-conscious. I blink again, then lick my lips...again. I must look like a fucking idiot.
I thought this would be hot, like sizzling, off the charts, sexual chemistry hot. Instead, I can barely put one thought together and I'm a licking, blinking mess.
"Do you know why I don't want to make you my slave?"
"You don't?"
More tears leak out of the corners of my eyes. I may have taken liberties and made assumptions, but he showed all the signs of wanting something more with me, something deeper and all-encompassing.
It took no time before our scenes at the club spilled over into nights at his house. I practically live there now. Bedroom BDSM spread to other places in the house.
Instead of scening for a couple of hours, we spend entire weekends in our chosen roles. Weekends spill into the long weeks as we balance the demands of our jobs with our romantic entanglement.
He pulls me against his chest, wrapping his hands tight around my back. I'm exactly where I belong, sheltered by him, but he's the one I don't understand. He runs his finger around the leather of the collar.
"Don't think this isn't exactly what I want." He gives a little tug of the collar. "But it comes with a price: consequences, obligations, and more."
"I don't understand."
He kissed the top of my head and tightens his grip. "You, my darling slave, need to focus on your studies and become the best doctor you can be. The rest of this is a distraction you can't afford."
"You're breaking up with me?"
"Never, but if this is what you want, you need to understand what this is. What does it mean for you to be my slave? I'm not here to fulfill your fantasies. If you want me to be your Master, I will."
My emotions are like a ping-pong ball. There's intense sorrow and fear followed by overwhelming elation and joy, but I sense there's more.
"You will?"
"Yes, Alexa. I'll be the Master you need, but I won't be the one you think you want."
"I don't understand." I sound like a broken record.
He opens the door and ushers me inside the room he's reserved for the rest of the night.
I expect a dungeon. Instead, he's created a schoolroom.
There's a heavy desk at the front of the room with an old-fashioned chalkboard behind it. In front of the desk is a wooden student's desk with a hard wooden seat. Propped on top of the desk is a book I know all too well. It's Netters Textbook of Anatomy.
In the other half of the room is a royal looking chair. Some might call it a throne. There's a red velvet pillow sitting on the floor in front of the chair with something silver sitting on it.
There is a bed. It's nestled in the corner almost like an afterthought.
Daniel releases the chain around my neck and makes a sweeping gesture with his arm.
"You will become the best surgeon you can be. I'll see to it. If this is what you want...if you want to be my slave, this is your life. You'll study underneath me, be grilled by me until you dream about medicine. You'll practice throwing stitches until your fingers blister and you'll know the W's backwards and forwards. You'll be
the most well-prepared resident on the floor. We come after that."
"I don't get it." I study all the damn time. I know what my job is. I can study on my own.
"I can't get enough of you. When I'm around you, I'm constantly hard. We fuck all the time." There's a grin on his face. "And we're well-matched in that capacity, but you need time to study and prep and focus on what it means to be a doctor. That isn't something I'll sacrifice because I want to bury myself between your legs."
"You do?"
He cocks his head and I rush to explain.
"I mean only that you want to be my Master?" I'm very confused about what's going on. Does he, or doesn't he?
"From the day I met you." His head is shaking with the admission. "I've always known what I've wanted and that is to exercise full control over my partner—over you. I dabbled in Daddy-play thinking that dynamic fulfilled that need, but then you came along."
I press my hands to my face and wipe away the tears.
"This runs in our blood, and I can't think of a more perfect slave for me. But being a Master brings certain responsibilities along with it. It's not about being on 24/7, but about being responsible and being the kind of man the woman I love needs. I'll cherish and protect you, but I will see to your needs before my own."
My heart just about stops beating. We haven't said that word to each other yet. I always thought I would be the one who said it first.
"You love me?"
"With all my heart. Not that it's going to save your ass. You've racked up a long list of punishments and it's going to take many months of detention before you even think about sitting without feeling my hand on you. But, being a Master also means being in charge of making our decisions for us both. You're not ready to hand over that kind of control."
"But I am..."
He cuts me off with a single raised finger. "Is that so?"
"Yes!"
He points to the desk. "Then put your ass in the chair. You put your hand on a man's heart today. That comes with great responsibility. I want you to study the anatomy of the heart and adjoining structures, as well as the electrical pathways of the conduction system. As soon as you can recite it back to me with no errors, we'll play."
Alexa: The Ties That Bind (Auction Night Book 1) Page 7
