by Gene Wolfe
Page 38
"I cant. There doesnt seem to be any writing on it. "
"You mean spells or prayers. No, Ive never noticed any, and Ive carried it a long way. I dont really know anything about it except that it acts at times; but I think it is probably the kind of thing spells and prayers are made with, and not the kind that is made with them. "
"You said it didnt belong to you. "
I nodded again. "It belongs to the priestesses here, the Pelerines. "
"You just came here. Two nights ago, when I did. "
"I came looking for them, to give it back. It was taken from them -
not by me - some time ago, in Nessus. "
"And youre going to return it?" He looked at me as though he somehow doubted it.
"Yes, eventually. "
He stood up, smoothing his robe with his hands.
I said, "You dont believe me, do you? Not about any of it. "
"When I came here, you introduced me to the others nearby, the ones youd talked with while you lay here on your cot. " He spoke slowly, seeming to ponder every word. "Of course Ive met some people too, where they put me. Theres one who isnt really wounded very badly. Hes just a boy, a youngster off some small holding a long way from here, and he mostly sits on his cot and looks at the floor. "
"Homesick?" I asked.
The soldier shook his head. "He had an energy weapon. A korseke -
thats what somebody told me. Are you familiar with them?"
"Not very. "
"They project a beam straight forward, and at the same time two quartering beams, forward left and forward right. Their range isnt great, but they say theyre very good for dealing with mass attacks, and I suppose they are. "
He looked about for a moment to see if anyone was listening, but it is a point of honor in the lazaret to disregard completely any conversation not intended for oneself. If it were not so, the patients would soon be at each others throats.
"His hundred was the target of one of those attacks. Most of the others broke and ran. He didnt, and they didnt get him. Another man told me there were three walls of bodies in front of him. He had dropped them until the Ascians were climbing up to the top and jumping down at him. Then he had backed away and piled them up again. "
I said, "I suppose he got a medal and a promotion. " I could not be sure if it was my fever returning or merely the heat of the day, but I felt sticky and somehow suffocated.
"No, they sent him here. I told you he was only a boy from the country. He had killed more people that day than he had ever seen up to the time a few months before when he went into the army. He still hasnt gotten over it, and maybe he never will. "
"Yes?"
"It seems to me you might be like that. "
"I dont understand you," I said.
"You talk as if youve just come here from the south, and I suppose that if youve left your legion thats the safest way to talk. Just the same, anybody can see it isnt true - people dont get cut up the way you are except where the fighting is. You were hit by rock splinters. Thats what happened to you, and the Pelerine who spoke to us the first night we were here saw that right away. So I think youve been north longer than youll admit, and maybe longer than you think yourself. If youve killed a lot of people, it might be nice for you to believe you have a way to bring them back. "
I tried to grin at him. "And where does that leave you?"
"Where I am now. Im not trying to say I owe you nothing. I had fever, and you found me. Maybe I was delirious. I think its more likely I was unconscious, and that let you think I was dead. If you hadnt brought me here, I probably would have died. " He started to stand up; I stopped him with a hand on his arm. "There are some things I should tell you before you go," I said. "About yourself. "
"You said you didnt know who I was. "
I shook my head. "I didnt say that, not really. I said I found you in a wood two days ago. In the sense you mean, I dont know who you are - but in another sense I think I may. I think youre two people, and that I know one of them. "
"Nobody is two people. "
"I am. Im two people already. Perhaps more people are two than we know. The first thing I want to tell you is much simpler, though. Now listen. " I gave him detailed directions for finding the wood again, and when I was certain he understood them, I said, "Your pack is probably still there, witthe straps cut, so if you find the place you wont mistake it. There was a letter in your pack. I pulled it out and read a part of it. It didnt carry the name of the person you were writing to, but if you had finished it and were just waiting for a chance to send it off, it should have at least a part of your name at the end. I put it on the ground and it blew a little and caught against a tree. It may still be possible for you to find it. " His face had tightened. "You shouldnt have read it, and you shouldnt have thrown it away. "
"I thought you were dead, remember? Anyway, a good deal was going on at the time, mostly inside my head. Perhaps I was getting feverish - I dont know. Now heres the other part. You wont believe me, but it may be important that you listen. Will you hear me out?"
He nodded.
"Good. Have you heard of the mirrors of Father Inire? Do you know how they work?"
"Ive heard of Father Inires Mirror, but I couldnt tell you where I heard about it. Youre supposed to be able to step into it, like youd step into a doorway, and step out on a star. I dont think its real. "
"The mirrors are real. Ive seen them. Up until now I always thought of them in much the same way you did - as if they were a ship, but much faster. Now Im not nearly so sure. Anyway, a certain friend of mine stepped between those mirrors and vanished. I was watching him. It was no trick and no superstition; he went wherever the mirrors take you. He went because he loved a certain woman, and he wasnt a whole man. Do you understand?"
"Hed had an accident?"
"An accident had had him, but never mind that. He told me he would come back. He said, I will come back for her when I have been repaired, when I am sane and whole. I didnt quite know what to think when he said that, but now I believe he has come. It was I who revived you, and I had been wishing for his return - perhaps that had something to do with it. "
There was a pause. The soldier looked down at the trampled soil on which the cots had been set, then up again at me. "Possibly whenever a man loses his friend and gets another, he feels the old friend is with him again. "
"Jonas - that was his name - had a habit of speech. Whenever he had to say something unpleasant, he softened it, made a joke of it, by attributing what he said to some comic situation. The first night we were here, when I asked you your name, you said, I lost it somewhere along the way. Thats what the jaguar said, who had promised to guide the goat. Do you recall that?" He shook his head. "I say a lot of foolish things. "
"It struck me as strange; because it was the kind of thing Jonas said, but he wouldnt have said it in that way unless he meant more by it than you seemed to. I think he would have said, That was the baskets story, that had been filled with water. Something like that. " I waited for him to speak, but he did not.
"The jaguar ate the goat, of course. Swallowed its flesh and cracked its bones, somewhere along the way. "
"Havent you ever thought that it might be just the peculiarity of some town? Your friend might have come from the same place I do. "
I said, "It was a time, I think, and not a place. Long ago, someone had to disarm fear - the fear that men of flesh and blood might feel when looking into a face of steel and glass. Jonas, I know youre listening. I dont blame you. The man was dead, and you still alive. I understand that. But Jonas, Jolenta is gone - I watched her die, and I tried to bring her back with the Claw, but I failed. Perhaps she was too artificial, I dont know. You will have to find someone else. " The soldier rose. His face was no longer angry, but empty as a somnambulists. He turned and left without another word. For perhaps a watch I lay on my cot with my hands behind my head, thinking of many things. Hallvard, Melito, and Foil
a were talking among themselves, but I did not attend to what they said. When one of the Pelerines brought the noon meal, Melito got my ear by rapping his platter with a fork and announced, "Severian, we have a favor to ask of you. "
I was eager to put my speculations behind me, and told him I would help them in any way I could.
Foila, who had one of those radiant smiles Nature grants to some women, smiled at me now. "Its like this. These two have been bickering over me all morning. If they were well they could fight it out, but it will be a long time before they are, and I dont think I could stand it so long. Today I was thinking of my mother and father, and how they used to sit before the fire on long winter nights. If Hallvard and I marry, or Melito and I, someday well be doing that too. So I have decided to marry the best storyteller. Dont look at me as if I were mad - its the only sensible thing Ive done in my life. Both of them want me, both are very handsome, neither has any property, and if we dont settle this theyll kill each other or Ill kill them both. Youre an educated man - we can tell by the way you talk. You listen and judge. Hallvard first, and the stories have to be original, not out of books. "
Hallvard, who could walk a little, got up from his cot and came to sit on the foot of Melitos.
CHAPTER SEVEN - HALLVARDS STORY - THE TWO SEALERS
"This is a true story. I know many stories. Some are made up, though perhaps the made up ones were true in times everyone has forgotten. I also know many true ones, because many strange things happen in the isles of the south that you northern people never dream of. I chose this one because I was there myself and saw and heard as much of it as anyone did.
"I come from the easternmost of the southern isles, which is called Glacies. On our isle lived a man and a woman, my grandparents, who had three sons. Their names were Anskar, Hallvard, and Gundulf. Hallvard was my father, and when I grew large enough to help him on his boat, he no longer hunted and fished with his brothers. Instead, we two went out so that all we caught could be brought home to my mother, and my sisters and younger brother.
"My uncles never married, and so they continued to share a boat. What they caught they ate themselves or gave to my grandparents, who were no longer strong. In the summer they farmed my grandfathers land. He had the best on our isle, the only valley that never felt the ice wind. You could grow things there that would not ripen anywhere else on Glacies, because the growing season in this valley was two weeks longer.
"When my beard was starting to sprout, my grandfather called all the men of our family together - that was my father, my two uncles, and myself. When we got to his house, my grandmother was dead, and the priest from the big isle was there to lay out her body. Her sons wept, as I did myself.
"That night, when we sat at my grandfathers table, with him at one end and the priest at the other, he said, Now it is time that I dispose of my property. Bega is gone. Her family has no more claim on it, and I shall follow her shortly. Hallvard is married and has the portion that came to him from his wife. With that he provides for his family, and though they have little to spare, they do not go hungry. You, Anskar. And you, Gundulf. Will you ever marry?"
"Both my uncles shook their heads.
" Then this is my will. I call upon the Omnipotent to hear, and I call upon the servants of the Omnipotent also. When I die, all that I have shall go to Anskar and Gundulf. If one die, it shall go to the other. When both are dead, it shall go to Hallvard, or if Hallvard is dead, it shall be divided among his sons. You four - if you do not agree my will is just, speak now. "
"No one spoke, and thus it was decided.
"A year passed. A ship of Erebus came raiding out of the mists, and two ships put in for hides, sea ivory, and salt fish. My grandfather died, and my sister Fausta bore her girl. When the harvest was in, my uncles fished with the other men.
"When spring comes in the south, it is still too early to plant, for there will be many freezing nights to come. But when men see that the days are lengthening fast, they seek out the rookeries where the seals breed. These are on rocks far from any shore, there is much fog, and though they are growing longer, the days are still short. Often it is the men who die and not the seals.
"And so it was with my Uncle Anskar, for my Uncle Gundulf returned in their boat without him.
"Now you must know that when our men go sealing, or fishing, or hunting any other kind of sea game, they tie themselves to their boats. The rope is of braided walrus hide, and it is long enough to let the man move about in the boat as much as is needful, but not longer. The sea water is very cold and soon kills whoever remains in it, but our men dress in sealskin tight-sewn, and often a mans boat-mate can pull him back and in that way save his life.
"This is the tale my Uncle Gundulf told. They had gone far, seeking a rookery others had not visited, when Anskar saw a bull seal swimming in the water. He cast his harpoon; and when the seal sounded, a loop of the harpoon line had caught his ankle, so that he was dragged into the sea. He, Gundulf, had tried to pull him out, for he was a very strong man. But his pulling and the pulling of the seal on the harpoon line, which was tied to the base of the mast, had capsized their boat. Gundulf had saved himself by pulling himself hand over hand back to it and cutting the harpoon line with his knife. When the boat was righted he had tried to haul in Anskar, but the life rope had broken. He showed the frayed rope end. My Uncle Anskar was dead.
"Among my people, women die on land but men at sea, and therefore we call the kind of grave you make a womans boat.
When a man dies as Uncle Anskar did, a hide is stretched and painted for him and hung in the house where the men meet to talk. It is never taken down until no man living can recall the man who was honored so. A hide like that was prepared for Anskar, and the painters began their work.
