A dozen or more children exit the simulation chambers. They walk slowly in a row with their
heads slightly bowed, clad in the brown uniforms I remember so well, hair so short it looks as if it
had been shaven off. The whole picture is so familiar that it sends a pang through my heart.
The first day I arrived on Plantation-8, I thought my world had ended. I didn’t know I would find
Finn there, but even if I had known, it wouldn’t have been much of a consolation at the time.
Everything seemed menacing and cold. Like a walk on thin ice with the gaping mouth of chaos
underneath.
They took my clothes away and put the dreadful brown uniform on me. They cut off my hair and
made me swallow a bunch of pills. They looked inside my throat, nose and ears. They tested my
reflexes with small electric shocks. They drilled my teeth and put caps on them. They gave me several
shots and put me through a full body scan.
When they were done, they reclassified me as 8-78349Z32 and sent me off to report to my dorm.
There they removed the old number from the back of my neck and tattooed the new number onto me.
They told me it would be my name from now on. The whole time I felt like I was dying inside and my
seven years on earth seemed to have been for nothing. I missed my baby sisters and even my mother,
that distant, distracted, silent woman with the vacant eyes.
I didn’t know anything about her, about who she had been when she was a young girl, before she
was turned into a breeding machine. I wish I could have known her when her spirit was still alive in
her.
Rabbit pokes me and I am so startled that I drop my touchpad.
“Have you ever seen a female alien? Or a female Sliman?” he asks me.
The image of a female Sliman is just too much and I choke on my own laughter.
“Of course not,” Daphne intervenes. “Nobody has. Why do you ask things we all know the
answers to?”
“He was talking to me,” I remind her. “We like to talk about stuff. Like friends do.”
“What I’m trying to say,” Rabbit goes on, “is that they must keep their females somewhere else,
maybe on their planet, maybe in some secret place on Earth. Maybe the females are too weak or too
vulnerable. More so than the males. Maybe we can end this war if we find their location. No more
ladies, no more alien babies.”
“There’s no time for dreaming,” Daphne says rolling her eyes.
“What if he’s right?” Tilly joins in the conversation. “What if the solution is in the female
counterparts? Or what if there’s only one female, a super alien, a queen, just like bees? Find the
queen, destroy the colony.”
“You guys are reaching,” Daphne shakes her head and takes more pictures.
“She’s right. There’s no easy way out, we have to kill them all, one by one,” Nya whispers in
her matter-of-fact voice. Nya doesn’t say much, but she likes to have the last word.
“Who said it would be easy?” Tilly protests.
“Shut up, all of you, something’s wrong,” Daphne reprimands us as she reaches for her pulse
gun.
“What’s going on?” Tilly inquires, her senses sharpening.
“One part of our shield is down creating white noise in the satellite transmission. There’s some
odd movement in the plantation, look!”
A Sliman patrol is forming right in front of our eyes next to the armory.
“They’re on to us,” Daphne says. “Who’s monitoring the blue part of the interference shield?”
I realize with a two-second delay that that would be me. My touchpad is shut off. It must have
happened when I dropped it. Daphne gives me the coldest look I have ever seen in my life and that
includes the Director Alien in Plantation-8.
I switch my touchpad back on but it’s too late, we have to get out of here as fast as possible. I
don’t know what’s wrong with me. How did I not see that my touchpad was compromised? Where
has my head been? This is unforgivable. I know it and so does everyone else.
We have two, maybe three minutes before our location is detected by their sensors. We run
down the slope for dear life, doing our best to keep up with Rabbit. If we manage to get to the
designated spot on time, we’ll have to slow down to a crawl and hopefully that will keep us out of
range of their detection and the Sliman will just think there was a glitch in the systems.
I realize that Tilly is trailing behind the group. Daphne takes a look at me and seems to be
reading my mind. We run back simultaneously and grab Tilly by both arms. She has hurt her foot but
she has to endure the pain, there’s no other choice. We pull her along till we reach what would be our safe spot according to Theo’s instructions.
We come to a stop and nod to each other. No talking or sudden movements until we get out of the
plantation’s surveillance area. The way back is slow and stressful. Tilly’s face distorts with pain but she hangs on and doesn’t complain. Rabbit stays by her side, worried.
I can’t read Daphne’s expression but I’m sure she’s furious with me. She doesn’t say a single
word to me until we reach the camp in a state of exhaustion. Rabbit runs ahead to get Doc so he can
take care of Tilly’s foot that is swollen and bruised. Rabbit and Doc arrive with a stretcher a couple minutes later. Nya and I follow after them when I hear Daphne’s voice.
“Not so fast, Freya, come with me.”
Damian waits for us at his desk in the headquarters and I can tell by the look on his face that he
has been briefed about what happened on the hills. I didn’t expect Daphne to cover for me, but I have
to admit that I’m surprised at the velocity of her report. She acts like an obedient puppy around him
and I guess the fact that she has the opportunity to humiliate me is an added bonus for her.
“Do you realize you’ve jeopardized the very existence of the Saviors?” he starts in a rather calm
voice.
I nod. I know that he’s right.
“Why did you even volunteer? It’s obvious to everyone you’re not ready,” he goes on.
“Obvious to everyone but Freya herself,” Daphne sneers.
“You are not to leave this camp on your own, is that clear? You need to train, make yourself
useful and learn. No more volunteering or running off with Finn. You’re nothing but a distraction to
him.”
I bite my tongue so hard that it bleeds. I have about a thousand things I want to say but I think of
Finn and everything he has been trying to impress on me. I still have his knife, a reminder that I have lied to him and that I’m not like the other Saviors. It’s hard not to defend myself, but I fight back the urge to speak. It always ends badly. I say nothing. I listen. I nod.
I am utterly and perfectly humiliated.
I find Finn with Rabbit. They both look worried and curious about what has happened. I tell
them everything, my voice trembling despite my best efforts to remain strong.
“Let me get this straight, you just stood there and said nothing?” Finn asks me.
“Yeah. That’s what I just said.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean why? You’ve always told me to respect authority.”
“I never told you not to explain the facts. I said you should not challenge Damian in public and
you should not shout to support your arguments. But you need to defend yourself, Tick. You need to
present all the facts. Rabbit told me he pushed you. Why didn’t you say that? Why didn’t
you explain
it was an accident and not some form of negligence on your part?”
“Because it was some form of negligence on my part. And because I’m not going to drag Rabbit
into my mess. And because I’m trying so hard to keep you from getting mad at me.”
“I will explain to Red,” Rabbit offers.
“You will do no such thing. I will do what I have to do. I will even try to learn as he suggested.
Just, both of you, let me deal with this my own way.”
Finn surprises me with a grin. He regards me with something new in his eyes. He leans in for a
hug and says he understands and he’s even a little proud of me, but I should choose my battles more
wisely in the future.
I go to my tent and sit on my bed. All the fatigue of the previous days weighs me down. I didn’t
lie when I said that I wanted to learn and get better. I do. I need to learn and to grow. But knowledge comes at a huge price in our world and I can’t help but wonder if it will all be worthwhile.
7
There is a lot to be said about someone who avoids responsibility and it’s all bad. I don’t want
to be that kind of person. I don’t want to be the one Savior who could not put the common good above
her personal interests.
We are in the Armory waiting for Damian and Daphne to join us for our scheduled weekly
meeting. I don’t expect any unpleasant surprises today because I know what’s on the agenda.
Tilly and Scout try to maintain a conversation with each other even though I sit between them.
The best way to solve this problem is to join them. They’re talking about the upcoming all-day
training in the forest. Scout is excited because she doesn’t like the combat ring where there’s nothing for her to track. Tilly is not very thrilled with the idea as the last time we tried it, we were attacked by a swarm of bees.
“What are the chances of that happening again?” Scout asks. “Bees are hardly a thing to worry
about.”
“I doubt the bees will have moved their hives,” Tilly disagrees.
“It doesn’t matter if they’re still there,” I cut in. “This time around we’ll know where the hives
are and we won’t bother them.”
“What if there’s more hives we don’t know about?”
“Come on, Tilly! You’re not afraid of some little tiny bees, are you? We have to get out of the
camp more,” Scout insists.
The conversation is cut short as Damian and Daphne make their appearance. Zoe will keep notes
this time, so she sits right next to Damian, with Daphne on his other side. Daphne announces the
topics for the day but then says that Damian wants to address the meeting first.
He gets up and walks to the whiteboard on the other side of the room. We all have to turn our
heads to follow him. He picks up a marker and draws a sketch of an electrical circuit. Then he erases
a small part of the voltage loop.
“You take away the smallest particle and the circuit fails,” he starts his speech. “There has been
a lot of that lately. Freya and Theo have jeopardized our whole existence by being negligent and
hasty. I think we would all like to hear what they have to say about this and how they plan to improve their attention to mission detail in the future.”
That is just too much. I know I have promised myself and others that this time I will just be a
part of the team, but if he keeps this up, I will not be responsible for what will come out of my mouth.
It’s one thing to talk about my mishap, but the way I remember it, Theo actually saved us that day.
“I know I’m asking for a lot and I know our lives are far from easy, but we are free and I hope
we can stay that way,” Damian says, pausing for effect. “We are in this together and we must have
each other’s backs.”
He points at me and gestures that I join him. All eyes see his gesture so I feel like I have no
choice. I walk slowly up to the whiteboard having no idea what the heck I’m going to do or say once
I’m there.
“I thought I’d give you a chance to speak for yourself,” he says looking me straight in the eye. At
this moment, I feel like I could kill him. Well, at the very least smack that smug look off his face and throw him in a dark hole. It must be nice, I think, to always be in the right and throw your judgment
down like a hammer on the heads of all of us who just do the best we can.
“I don’t know what you expect me to say. There was an accident during the mission on
Plantation-6. I dropped my touchpad and it shut off automatically. I don’t plan to make a habit out of it. No need to worry about this kind of thing repeating. As for Theo, he saved the entire camp the
other day so there’s no need for him to explain anything in my opinion.”
“Can you for once stick to the part that’s relevant to you?” Damian glares at me. “It’s all an
accident with you, isn’t it?” He says the words slowly while his face flushes red.
I know I can’t win this time, not when everyone knows my mental lapse put lives at risk. The
last thing that I need is for them to assume I want to escape responsibility. I turn my face to Finn
seeking some sort of advice in his eyes but I can’t read anything there. I think about it for a moment and then decide to go with my instinct.
“I was wrong. I screwed up. I’m sorry. We all know this. If you needed me to say it, I said it.
Now what?” The room stays deathly silent. “We are all accidents, Damian, if I must state the obvious.
We were born into an enslaved world and we were meant to be slaves until we were killed or
lobotomized.”
Finn does not try to stop me. I sense he’s given up on me. So I continue. “Sooner or later we
will be tested, truly tested. Failure will mean death or worse. I have no intention of failing when that day comes. What can I do but continue to believe in myself?”
There’s a short pause and then Rabbit starts clapping. Scout follows shortly afterwards but she’s
the only one. Nobody else dares to applaud me while not knowing what goes through Red’s head.
“You always sound good, Freya, like you have a crusade you’re leading,” Damian finally says.
“But the only crusade we have right now is staying alive. You were truly tested and you failed and
now you want to make that everyone’s fault but your own.” Damian stops to shake his head, deeply
frustrated. “Until your attitude changes you will fail tests again and again. This does not show me you are ready to assume real responsibility or to reassure your companions they will be safe in your
company.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say? That I’m going to be more careful?”
“It’s not about what I want you to say, it’s about what you want. About what you’re prepared to
do to make sure you’re solid in every moment. We will continue to wait for you, but not forever.”
His last words sting and make it hard to breathe. I can hardly hear his conversation with Theo. I
know that Theo gives an apology, that he promises to work hard to improve the performance of his
devices, that he will be alert and quick to react.
*
FINN WALKS WITH ME to the simulators as I have a session scheduled in a short while. “For
what is worth, I agree with some of what you said.”
“Some but not all, right?”
“Freya, I will talk to Damian.”
“Let it go, Finn. Damian’s had enough of you defending me.”
I leave him standing outside as I enter the simulators. It’s not my turn. I wait and star
t thinking
about the breeding village again, my mother, my brother and my sisters.
I have no proof that my mother loved us, but I believe it. That no matter how hard the aliens tried
to remove her intelligence and emotions, she still had love inside her even though she never found the means to express it.
I imagine how deeply heart-broken she must be now, alone with all her children gone. They will
have made her a servant, a cook or a cleaner for the village labs. No one has ever seen an old human,
no one over sixty, but she is only forty. They will let her work. I wish I could see her once more. I
wish I could hug her and tell her that I love her. That she will always be in my heart and that one day I will save her and she can live on even when she goes gray.
Gosh, I’m as bad as Rabbit when I start daydreaming. My turn has come for my simulation
session, so I welcome this opportunity to shut out all thoughts and blow some stuff up.
When I return to my tent, I find Finn waiting for me outside.
“Don’t you have anything better to do than hide in shadows?” I tease him.
But then I notice that his knife is in his hands. The one I stole.
“How did my knife end up under your bed?” he says unhappily.
“What were you doing searching my tent?” I try to defend myself.
“I was going to replace your mattress with one that Daphne gave me. She found three in a
basement in Lost Town still in protective wrap. I thought you could use it. Yours was in bad shape. I
wanted to surprise you.”
I nod, not knowing what to say.
“Why did you take my knife, Freya? And why did you hide it? You know I need this knife. What
were you trying to accomplish?”
I shrug my shoulders.
“I don’t know, I was mad when I took it. I’ve been trying to give it back.”
He tries to hand his knife to me, but I don’t take it. “See, that’s all it takes to give it back. It
hardly takes any trying at all.”
“Yeah, and have you mad at me once again.”
“Me? Mad at you? What?” I seem to have hit a nerve. “You’re the one who’s always mad at me.
Everything I do annoys you.” He exhales and tries to calm down. “Why didn’t you give the knife back
[scifan] plantation - books one to three Page 5
